Disclaimer: Don't own Luzzu, Gatta or Sin, or anything else I've mentioned that's from FFX. Oh! The Farplane. That should do it.
A/N: Luzzu/Gatta clean shounen-ai. Don't like it, don't read it. From Luzzu's POV, set just before Operation Mi'ihen. :( Poor Luzzu.
Echo to the Farplane
Sometimes I wonder which of us knew it first. The love that we shared was forbidden by the priesthood of Yevon; forbidden by every precept that either of us have ever believed in, chanted before the statues in the cold, lifeless temples. Yet we two forgave the sin, and I have never held it as anything other than revelation.
It was you who came to me, of course. You were afraid, torn – so, wretched with the heartache, you brought to your mentor what you perceived as a fatal flaw within you. Hoping… hoping that I could hammer it out of your gleaming lion's heart.
Had I come to you with an identical quandary, I could never have been certain if you had given yourself to me because I was your commander, your mentor, or whether you truly felt the same as I. I could never have been sure if it was the same feeling, or merely the love of a kouhai for his sempai.
You believed that I would forge the flaw from your heart and mind. Instead I took it into my hands, dared to temper it and forge from it something that we both know is greater. Stronger. More beautiful than the sun on Besaid's beaches.
You trust me. I know that you trust me with all your heart and soul. That will echo to the Farplane – this I know. It makes my heart ache, with fierce pride… and agonising shame, for I must break that trust. Today, I must shatter it completely.
I can already see the indignance in your eyes, the dying exuberance of your too-short youth burnt black by the pain.
My apologies.
My heart is the cause. My selfish heart. For even though we have Maester Seymour at our backs, and though the Al Bhed assure us that their machina will destroy Sin, I have a doubt.
It destroys me, doubt. You know that. I cannot fight when it taints my heart of hearts. And it is there now, lurking, and I have the most horrible feeling…
So the order has been given. At great cost, you will be safe. The cadet who informs you knows that the order came from higher up the chain of command.
In your heart, you will know better, I am sure.
I gave the order. It is as Chappu said, better to keep Sin far from you, love, than to spend my life watching you in pain every time a village is struck. We will defeat Sin today, the evil that so many have said cannot be beaten back. My love for you will echo to the Farplane. I pray you will forgive my selfish heart.
~*~
A/N: Um… comments? ^^; Not especially brilliant, but I felt as though it had to be written or something… yeah. ^^;;