Disclaimer: Do you REALLY think that we ANY of the characters besides Sarah
and Laurel? If you do, you're a bloody idiot.
A/N: All the nice, kind, loving, generous people who reviewed the last chapter receive cybercookies. Thank you!!
And special thanks go to Carmina Burana for helping us think up the chapter title!
Well, we finally got ahold of the script, so this ought to be a bit easier . . .
R&R everyone!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Sarah POV~
Escaping. WHEE!! I LOVE ESCAPING!!! Laurel and I decided in whispers that Elizabitch simply could NOT escape with us because she was a stinky melon poo. So, we hit Elizabitch of the head with a candlestick and she fell down unconscious. WOOT WOOT! Now for the hard part. We waited until we were sure that no pirates were looking (which actually took 3 and half hours of waiting and several more bonks to Elizabeth's head before she was taken ) and we tippie toed like pixie's out of the room we were in. We already knew that there was a rowboat hanging over the edge of the Black Pearl, so quick as lightening (however quick that is.) we jumped into the boat, untied it, and were in the water. It was then that some of the pirates realized what we had done.
"Hey! Stop the prisoners! They aren't supposed to escape!" one of the pirates yelled.
"NO DUH!!" screamed another one.
Laurel and snickered while then ran around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to figure out how to catch us, as we were rowing away has fast as our poor arms could row.
"YOU PURPLE MUSTARD FACED IDJITS!!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US!! MUAHAHAHAHAA!!!" We bellowed back at them.
"WAAAAAH!!! SNOT FAIR!!" they whined, "WE WANT OUR MOMMIES!!!"
"Um, Pintel, I think you wet your pants," Ragetti said.
"WHAT? No I didn't!"
"Uhm. . . then why are you standing in that puddle?"
(awkward silence ensues)
~~~~~~~~~IN THE MOVIE THEATER~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Everything stops, camera zooms in on puddle at Pintel's feet)
Erm . . . (audience stares at screen uncomfortably) Heh heh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laurel and I looked at each other.
"Um, right. BACK TO ESCAPING!" Laurel yelled.
~Half an Hour later~
Laurel and I had been rowing for what couldn't be long but what seemed like forever. Dawn had come quite a while ago. We were rowing quite fervently when all of a sudden Laurel said "Sarah! Look! I think it's that purty boat, the erm . . . Interceptor."
"WHAT!?" I looked around.
"Well, fo shizzle ma nizzle, I'll be shoed!" I said.
We started rowing towards the Interceptor. As we got closer we realized that it wasn't the Royal Navy on board . . . it was
"JACK!" I screeched.
"WILL!" Laurel shrieked.
"YAAY!! HUZZAH!! WOOT WOOT!" We yelled.
Jack and Will looked at us with raised eyebrows as they heaved us up onto the deck. We blushed.
"Heh heh heh . . ."
"So, why do you guys have this boat and not the snitpooed excuse of a commodore?" I asked.
"We stole--" Will started
"We COMANDEERED this ship out of the port, to go rescue you, Miss Swann, and you Miss Swann, and . . . the other Miss Swann, savvy?" Jack finished.
"I savvy," I said, staring at Jack openly, probably drooling. Again.
"Come Laurel, Sarah . . . you must rest, do sit down," Will said. Laurel and I walked over to where some barrel-thingies were on the deck and sat down on them . . . or rather, we TRIED to sit down on them, but Laurel, who wasn't paying attention because she was drooling over Will, stepped backwards and knocked me over just as I was about to sit down, which sent both of us smashing down on the deck. Ouchies.
"UGH, LAUREL, YOU HERMOTIC FOOLIOSO! STOP $^@#%! DROOLING FOR ONCE AND pay ATTENTION to what you're doing!" I shouted.
"Well sor-ry," Laurel mumbled as we scrambled to our feet. We turned to see that Will and Jack were staring at us, trying very hard not to laugh. We harrumphed and sat down. Continuing to stare at THEM, of course.
After we had been sailing a few minutes, Will started to talk to Jack. Laurel and I sidled over a bit closer to them so that we could listen.
"When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father," Will said.
"Is that so," Jack replied.
"My father, Will Turner. And in jail it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help. Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father," said Will.
"I knew 'im. Probably one the few who knew him as William Turner , everyone else just called him Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill."
"Bootstrap?"
"Good man. Good pirate. I swear you look JUST like him."
Laurel and I giggled. However, Will was not very keen on accepting this fact, so next thing we knew, Jack had swung the boom out and Will was dangling over the sea.
"NOOO!" Laurel screamed and lunged for Will.
"NOOO!" I screamed and lunged for Jack.
"YOU STUPID CRUTONIC HANDKERCHIEF FACED BUFFOON!!" Laurel yelled at Jack.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! PULL HIM BACK!" I screeched at Jack.
Jack looked a me. "In a minute, love."
"As long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance - you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that someday. And me, for example, I can let you drown but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So.(swings him back on board and offers him his sword) can you sail under the command of a pirate or can you not?" Jack said to Will.
"Tortuga?" Will asked.
"Tortuga."
"MEEP! We're going to Tor-tu-ga! We're going to Tor-tu-ga! We're going to Tor-tu-ga!" Laurel and I sang, dancing around the deck, which only gained us more odd looks from Will and Jack.
*~*Several hours later, in Tortuga*~*
".port and port alike it is a sad life that has never breathed deep the sweet bouquet that is Tortuga , savvy? What do you think?" Jack asked.
"Erm . . ." Laurel and I said, looking around at the many, many, brawls, the many many many whores, and the many, many, many, many, MANY drunk men.
"It'll linger," said Will.
"That it will," I muttered. Laurel and I clinged to each other and gave petrified looks to everyone around us, and stuck very, very, VERY close to Will and Jack (who I think were a little frightened by this).
"I swear, if every island were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," Jack stated happily. Just then, a whore came up to us. Laurel and I reeled backwards, repelled.
"Scarlet!" Jack exclaimed. This 'Scarlet' proceeded to whack MY poor Jackie- poo across the face. "EEK!" I screeched, and started after Scarlet, but before I could ANOTHER whore came up.
"Giselle!" Jack exclaimed.
"Who is she?" the whore asked, pointed at me. I gulped. With that, the whore slapped Jack hard across the face . . . but THIS time, I was ready. I tackled her, screeching, "YOU BLOODY ANAL RETENDANT BITCH!!! GET AWAY FROM MY JACKIE-POO!" All the time biting and clawing and hitting and hissing and etc, etc.
It took Jack, Will, and Laurel all together to haul me off her, as it were. Actually, Jack was biting back laughter and Will and Laurel just looked fearful. We continued walking, and eventually reached a barn. Jack had pulled a bucket of water out of his magic hat, and carried it into the barn with him. Lying on the barn floor on top of some pigs (FYI: the barn smelled SO freakin dreadful . . .). Jack threw the water onto the man, who proceeded to scream "CURSE YE FOR BREATHIN, YOU SLACK JAWED IDIOT!!" And brandished a rather pathetic looking knife. He then realized who it was that had woken him.
"Mother's love, Jack! You should know better to wake a man when he's sleeping! 's bad luck." the man said.
"Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while he listens to a proposition from the man who did the waking," Jack replied.
Laurel giggled loudly, and everyone stared at her. "Er, carry on!" she said.
"That'll about do it," the woken man said.
We then proceeded to go a pub where I swear EVERY SINGLE person in it was drunk and most of them were beating (or attempting to beat) each other up. Jack SOMEHOW managed to purchase three drinks, handed me one, and carried the other two to a table where the man (whom Jack had told me was named Mr. Gibbs) was sitting.
"Keep a sharp eye," Jack said to Laurel and Will, who had been appointed to keep the fighting people away from us. Laurel wasn't keeping a sharp eye on anything but (guess?) Will. She was drooling, too. I snorted and rolled my eyes. That girl really was hopeless. Jack and I sat down at the table with Gibbs. Very close to one another, I might add. Very, very close. Heh heh heh . . .
"Now, what's the nature of this venture of your'n?" Gibbs asked.
"I'm goin after the Black Pearl," Jack responded, nearly cause Gibbs to choke on his ale. I snickered. Jack put his arm around my shoulder. O.o
"I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it," Jack said smugly.
"Yesh he ish, cause he's so BRAVE!" I said, throwing my arms around Jack's neck.
Gibbs stared at me, then said, "Jack , it's a fool's errand. Well, you know better than me the tales of the Black Pearl."
"That's why I know what Barbossa is up to . . . all I need is a crew."
"From what I hear tell of Captain Barbossa, he's not a man to suffer fools nor strike a bargain with one."
"MY JACKIE POO ISN'T A FOOL!" I protested loudly. Loudly enough that Laurel and Will turned to stare at me.
"Well, then I say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, aye?" Jack said, as if I hadn't said anything. Hmph.
"Prove me wrong. What makes ye think Barbossa will give up his ship to you?"
"Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, aye?" Jack said, nodding at Will. I snickered. Again. Even though I didn't really know WHY this time . . . but it felt appropriate. "The kid?" "That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His only child, savvy?" "Is he now? Leverage says you, I think I feel a change in the wind says I. I'll find us a crew, there's bound to be some sailors on this rock crazy as you." One can only hope. Take what you can." we all toasted. ".Give nothing back."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
WELL? WHAT THE )(&#%*&@^! DO YOU THINK??? MEEP!! REVIEW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!! Remember, all flamers will be fed to Noodles.
Noodles: ARRR ME MATEY!!
World: O.O
Heh heh.ANYWAY.review!!!
A/N: All the nice, kind, loving, generous people who reviewed the last chapter receive cybercookies. Thank you!!
And special thanks go to Carmina Burana for helping us think up the chapter title!
Well, we finally got ahold of the script, so this ought to be a bit easier . . .
R&R everyone!
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
~Sarah POV~
Escaping. WHEE!! I LOVE ESCAPING!!! Laurel and I decided in whispers that Elizabitch simply could NOT escape with us because she was a stinky melon poo. So, we hit Elizabitch of the head with a candlestick and she fell down unconscious. WOOT WOOT! Now for the hard part. We waited until we were sure that no pirates were looking (which actually took 3 and half hours of waiting and several more bonks to Elizabeth's head before she was taken ) and we tippie toed like pixie's out of the room we were in. We already knew that there was a rowboat hanging over the edge of the Black Pearl, so quick as lightening (however quick that is.) we jumped into the boat, untied it, and were in the water. It was then that some of the pirates realized what we had done.
"Hey! Stop the prisoners! They aren't supposed to escape!" one of the pirates yelled.
"NO DUH!!" screamed another one.
Laurel and snickered while then ran around like chickens with their heads cut off trying to figure out how to catch us, as we were rowing away has fast as our poor arms could row.
"YOU PURPLE MUSTARD FACED IDJITS!!! YOU'LL NEVER CATCH US!! MUAHAHAHAHAA!!!" We bellowed back at them.
"WAAAAAH!!! SNOT FAIR!!" they whined, "WE WANT OUR MOMMIES!!!"
"Um, Pintel, I think you wet your pants," Ragetti said.
"WHAT? No I didn't!"
"Uhm. . . then why are you standing in that puddle?"
(awkward silence ensues)
~~~~~~~~~IN THE MOVIE THEATER~~~~~~~~~~~~
(Everything stops, camera zooms in on puddle at Pintel's feet)
Erm . . . (audience stares at screen uncomfortably) Heh heh.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Laurel and I looked at each other.
"Um, right. BACK TO ESCAPING!" Laurel yelled.
~Half an Hour later~
Laurel and I had been rowing for what couldn't be long but what seemed like forever. Dawn had come quite a while ago. We were rowing quite fervently when all of a sudden Laurel said "Sarah! Look! I think it's that purty boat, the erm . . . Interceptor."
"WHAT!?" I looked around.
"Well, fo shizzle ma nizzle, I'll be shoed!" I said.
We started rowing towards the Interceptor. As we got closer we realized that it wasn't the Royal Navy on board . . . it was
"JACK!" I screeched.
"WILL!" Laurel shrieked.
"YAAY!! HUZZAH!! WOOT WOOT!" We yelled.
Jack and Will looked at us with raised eyebrows as they heaved us up onto the deck. We blushed.
"Heh heh heh . . ."
"So, why do you guys have this boat and not the snitpooed excuse of a commodore?" I asked.
"We stole--" Will started
"We COMANDEERED this ship out of the port, to go rescue you, Miss Swann, and you Miss Swann, and . . . the other Miss Swann, savvy?" Jack finished.
"I savvy," I said, staring at Jack openly, probably drooling. Again.
"Come Laurel, Sarah . . . you must rest, do sit down," Will said. Laurel and I walked over to where some barrel-thingies were on the deck and sat down on them . . . or rather, we TRIED to sit down on them, but Laurel, who wasn't paying attention because she was drooling over Will, stepped backwards and knocked me over just as I was about to sit down, which sent both of us smashing down on the deck. Ouchies.
"UGH, LAUREL, YOU HERMOTIC FOOLIOSO! STOP $^@#%! DROOLING FOR ONCE AND pay ATTENTION to what you're doing!" I shouted.
"Well sor-ry," Laurel mumbled as we scrambled to our feet. We turned to see that Will and Jack were staring at us, trying very hard not to laugh. We harrumphed and sat down. Continuing to stare at THEM, of course.
After we had been sailing a few minutes, Will started to talk to Jack. Laurel and I sidled over a bit closer to them so that we could listen.
"When I was a lad living in England, my mother raised me by herself. After she died, I came out here, looking for my father," Will said.
"Is that so," Jack replied.
"My father, Will Turner. And in jail it was only after you learned my name that you agreed to help. Since that's what I wanted, I didn't press the matter. I'm not a simpleton, Jack. You knew my father," said Will.
"I knew 'im. Probably one the few who knew him as William Turner , everyone else just called him Bootstrap or Bootstrap Bill."
"Bootstrap?"
"Good man. Good pirate. I swear you look JUST like him."
Laurel and I giggled. However, Will was not very keen on accepting this fact, so next thing we knew, Jack had swung the boom out and Will was dangling over the sea.
"NOOO!" Laurel screamed and lunged for Will.
"NOOO!" I screamed and lunged for Jack.
"YOU STUPID CRUTONIC HANDKERCHIEF FACED BUFFOON!!" Laurel yelled at Jack.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! PULL HIM BACK!" I screeched at Jack.
Jack looked a me. "In a minute, love."
"As long as you're just hanging there, pay attention. The only rules that really matter are these: what a man can do and what a man can't do. For instance - you can accept that your father was a pirate and a good man or you can't. But pirate is in your blood, boy, so you'll have to square with that someday. And me, for example, I can let you drown but I can't bring this ship into Tortuga all by me onesies, savvy? So.(swings him back on board and offers him his sword) can you sail under the command of a pirate or can you not?" Jack said to Will.
"Tortuga?" Will asked.
"Tortuga."
"MEEP! We're going to Tor-tu-ga! We're going to Tor-tu-ga! We're going to Tor-tu-ga!" Laurel and I sang, dancing around the deck, which only gained us more odd looks from Will and Jack.
*~*Several hours later, in Tortuga*~*
".port and port alike it is a sad life that has never breathed deep the sweet bouquet that is Tortuga , savvy? What do you think?" Jack asked.
"Erm . . ." Laurel and I said, looking around at the many, many, brawls, the many many many whores, and the many, many, many, many, MANY drunk men.
"It'll linger," said Will.
"That it will," I muttered. Laurel and I clinged to each other and gave petrified looks to everyone around us, and stuck very, very, VERY close to Will and Jack (who I think were a little frightened by this).
"I swear, if every island were like this one, no man would ever feel unwanted," Jack stated happily. Just then, a whore came up to us. Laurel and I reeled backwards, repelled.
"Scarlet!" Jack exclaimed. This 'Scarlet' proceeded to whack MY poor Jackie- poo across the face. "EEK!" I screeched, and started after Scarlet, but before I could ANOTHER whore came up.
"Giselle!" Jack exclaimed.
"Who is she?" the whore asked, pointed at me. I gulped. With that, the whore slapped Jack hard across the face . . . but THIS time, I was ready. I tackled her, screeching, "YOU BLOODY ANAL RETENDANT BITCH!!! GET AWAY FROM MY JACKIE-POO!" All the time biting and clawing and hitting and hissing and etc, etc.
It took Jack, Will, and Laurel all together to haul me off her, as it were. Actually, Jack was biting back laughter and Will and Laurel just looked fearful. We continued walking, and eventually reached a barn. Jack had pulled a bucket of water out of his magic hat, and carried it into the barn with him. Lying on the barn floor on top of some pigs (FYI: the barn smelled SO freakin dreadful . . .). Jack threw the water onto the man, who proceeded to scream "CURSE YE FOR BREATHIN, YOU SLACK JAWED IDIOT!!" And brandished a rather pathetic looking knife. He then realized who it was that had woken him.
"Mother's love, Jack! You should know better to wake a man when he's sleeping! 's bad luck." the man said.
"Ah, fortunately I know how to counter it. The man who did the waking buys the man who was sleeping a drink. The man who was sleeping drinks it while he listens to a proposition from the man who did the waking," Jack replied.
Laurel giggled loudly, and everyone stared at her. "Er, carry on!" she said.
"That'll about do it," the woken man said.
We then proceeded to go a pub where I swear EVERY SINGLE person in it was drunk and most of them were beating (or attempting to beat) each other up. Jack SOMEHOW managed to purchase three drinks, handed me one, and carried the other two to a table where the man (whom Jack had told me was named Mr. Gibbs) was sitting.
"Keep a sharp eye," Jack said to Laurel and Will, who had been appointed to keep the fighting people away from us. Laurel wasn't keeping a sharp eye on anything but (guess?) Will. She was drooling, too. I snorted and rolled my eyes. That girl really was hopeless. Jack and I sat down at the table with Gibbs. Very close to one another, I might add. Very, very close. Heh heh heh . . .
"Now, what's the nature of this venture of your'n?" Gibbs asked.
"I'm goin after the Black Pearl," Jack responded, nearly cause Gibbs to choke on his ale. I snickered. Jack put his arm around my shoulder. O.o
"I know where it's going to be, and I'm going to take it," Jack said smugly.
"Yesh he ish, cause he's so BRAVE!" I said, throwing my arms around Jack's neck.
Gibbs stared at me, then said, "Jack , it's a fool's errand. Well, you know better than me the tales of the Black Pearl."
"That's why I know what Barbossa is up to . . . all I need is a crew."
"From what I hear tell of Captain Barbossa, he's not a man to suffer fools nor strike a bargain with one."
"MY JACKIE POO ISN'T A FOOL!" I protested loudly. Loudly enough that Laurel and Will turned to stare at me.
"Well, then I say it's a very good thing I'm not a fool then, aye?" Jack said, as if I hadn't said anything. Hmph.
"Prove me wrong. What makes ye think Barbossa will give up his ship to you?"
"Let's just say it's a matter of leverage, aye?" Jack said, nodding at Will. I snickered. Again. Even though I didn't really know WHY this time . . . but it felt appropriate. "The kid?" "That is the child of Bootstrap Bill Turner. His only child, savvy?" "Is he now? Leverage says you, I think I feel a change in the wind says I. I'll find us a crew, there's bound to be some sailors on this rock crazy as you." One can only hope. Take what you can." we all toasted. ".Give nothing back."
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
WELL? WHAT THE )(&#%*&@^! DO YOU THINK??? MEEP!! REVIEW PLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!! Remember, all flamers will be fed to Noodles.
Noodles: ARRR ME MATEY!!
World: O.O
Heh heh.ANYWAY.review!!!