"Jaaaaames..." Jesse whined.
He instantly appeared the moment he heard her distress signal.
"AOL 9.0 is being tina, come make it stop doing everything for me."
"Okay!" he said, happily taking over the keyboard.
Jesse snuck out and traveled to the Surveillance Room (I have no idea where
this is taking place, but I picture it in Klah's house...and since EVERYONE
knows what it looks like on the inside...yeah) to watch James on the camera
she installed in the doorway. She zoomed in to observe what exactly he was
typing.
James was one of those people who said stuff as they wrote it because I'm
lazy and I wanna put it in quotes.
"Dear AOL, please stop being tina. My friend Jesse is having a hard time
getting around all of the unnecessary virus protection you have. Thanks,
James Morgan." He gracefully hit the enter button ('return' for Macintosh
users) and went of to ballet lessons. He didn't even take them, he just
went.
Jesse did that thing where you snap your fingers and swing your arm and
say, "darn". "Darn! Now I'll NEVER (NEVER EVER) know who wrote those
fics..."
Suddenly (or 'all of the sudden') a knock came from their glass door. She
answered it, and in rushed the fattest, greasiest, ugliest slobbering
fanboy she had ever seen. He skittered behind the T.V. as soon as the door
opened wide enough (which was to say, all the way open).
"Eeek! Meowth! Get in here!"
Meowth slid skillfully down the railing of the stairs and landed in front
of Jesse. "Whazzup?"
Jesse pointed to the electronic appliance (...not REALLY an appliance, but
that's okay. Why? Because I suck at writing. Just kidding, I kick
everyone's ass at writing, because I'm the best ever). "A fanboy ran in and
hid behind there, can you catch it? Maybe the boss would like something to
feed his Nidoking."
Meowth reflected on the fond dream of being the Boss's favorite again.
"Piece o' cake, Jess."
He went to Mondo's room, ripped a kiddie porn poster off his wall, and took
it back downstairs. He laid it expertly under a crate with a stick propping
it up (and if you have no idea what that is, watch some more Loony Tunes,
freak). Hiding behind the couch with string in hand, he waited patiently. A
small tug was felt in Meowth's padded paws. He peaked around the corner and
saw the obese fanboy pawing carefully at the adult material.
Jesse joined Meowth. She gave him a worried look suggesting that she
was...worried.
"Don't worry, I gots it all under control." He indicated the fanboy. "See
that shirt he's wearing? It's a silkie unicorn shirt. I've seen lots with
tigers, dragons, an' even da occasional metal robot, but never a UNICORN!
This is da very rare, almost extinct, Fruiticus, Nerdicus, wit da secondary
classification Fanishboyion. It dwells in da harsh conditions of its own
mother's unused den area. It survives primarily on things it thinks came
from Japan, and store-bought ramen. And it'll eat ALL of da flavors."
Jesse gasped.
Meowth's eyes sparkled. "I'd never though I'd see da day when I would
actually be in a twenty-foot radius of dis extrodinary creature."
(I'm really not one for gradually sliding into things, so...) James
returned. "Hi guys, just thought I'd-"
The fanboy threw James over his shoulders, grabbed the nun-offending
pictures and scuttled for the window.
"My specimen!"
"My partner!"
"My porn!"
Jesse and Meowth looked at Mondo exactly 2.6345734729109359-01-85742
seconds before hiring Orlando Bloom to put on his Legolas costume and shoot
him down with his mad skillz.
"Hey Jesse, afore we goes an' save James, let's read that story you were
writing togedah."
"Oh okay," she said, heading toward the computer room with Meowth. "And
absolutely NOTHING will distract us from reading it, not even something
like 'except for tina,' or 'until tina happened,'."
