Disclaimer: WE. DO. NOT. OWN. POTC. Thank you.  Have a nice life.

A/N: Thankies and cyberCAKES to our reviewers.

~*~*~*~

~Laurel POV~

I woke up the next morning to a major headache and the smell of smoke.  "Unghh, hangover..." I muttered as I coughed and sat up.  My eyes got huge as I took in my surroundings.

"HOLY MOTHER OF CHEESE!!!" I screeched.  The island was on fire!  "SARAAAAH!!!!!" I pounced on the sleeping figures of Sarah and Jack. 

"Arrgh!  Laurel, get off!" Sarah said, trying to push me off. 

"Poo on you!" I shouted and shook Jack.  "JACK!!! JACK!!! THE ISLAND'S ON FIRE!!!!"

"What!?" he yelled as he sat up.  All of the palm trees were on fire, along with a big pile of supplies.  Hey, how'd those get there?

"ELIZABETH!!!" the three of us roared.  Elizabitch poked her head around the pile of supplies.

"No! No! Bad! Stop!  You've burned everything!" Jack whined.

"The food!" I screeched. 

"The shade!" Jack complained.

"The rum!" Sarah wailed.

"Yes, the rum is gone, you silly girl," Elizabitch said triumphantly.

"WHY IS THE RUM GONE!?" Jack and Sarah roared.

"One, because it is a vile drink that turns even the most respectable men and women into complete scoundrels. Two, that signal is over a thousand feet high. The entire Royal Navy is out looking for me, do you really think that there is even the slightest chance that they won't see it?" Elizabeth asked.

"And three because you're a selfish little idiot that only cares about herself!" I spat.  Elizabeth simply ignored me.  Little bitch.

"BUT WHY IS THE RUM GONE!?" Jack yelled.

Elizabeth plopped her fat ass on the sand.  "Just wait, you three. You give it one hour, maybe two, keep a weather eye out and then you will see white sails on that horizon." 

Jack pulled out his pistol and looked like he would shoot her.  "Do it!" Sarah hissed.  He grinned at her, but put the pistol away.  Damnation.  "Come on you two," he muttered as he stalked away.  Sarah skipped up and held onto his arm.  I followed thinking about Will and how he was probably going to die before I saw him again.  I hated Barbossa with a passion.

"Must've been terrible for you to be trapped here, Jack.  Must've been terrible for you… Well it bloody is now!" Jack shouted, imitating Elizabitch's voice.  Sarah and I giggled, then plopped ourselves down in the sand.

"This sucks," I said irritably.

"No kidding.  So does Elizabitch," Sarah muttered.

"Literally and figuratively," I said.  I peered out into the ocean.  "LOOK!!!!" I screeched.

"What?!"

"The Dauntless!" I shouted.  Sure enough, about half a mile out, the Dauntless had weighed anchor and a rowboat was coming towards us.

"WOOT WOOT!" Sarah and I screamed and waded into the shallow water. 

"There'll be no living with you after this," Jack muttered as he followed us.

~Later, on the Dauntless~

The sailors from the Dauntless had rowed us back to the ship and hoisted us up onto the deck.  Of course, Elizabitch had gone first, the idjit.  Then they had hauled up Sarah and I, then finally Jack, who they weren't exactly pleased to see. 

After we were all aboard, my uncle, the biggest idiot known to humanity, had told Elizabeth to go back to his cabin and put on an old army uniform, while Sarah and I had to stand there, half naked, in front of anyone.  Gaa, what a stupid fruit.  Fortunately, we were given cloaks to wrap around our shoulders. 

"Now let's go catch the Pearl!" I said after Elizabeth came back.

"No, we cannot, Miss Swann," Commodore Fruitcake said.

"But we've got to save Will!" Elizabeth complained.  Excuse me?  I think he likes me more than you, darling.

"No. You're safe now. We will return to Port Royal immediately not go gallivanting after pirates!" my uncle retorted.

"GALLIVANTING!? How can you say that!  All you're doing is letting him die!!" I screeched.

"The boy's fate is regrettable but then so is his decision to engage in piracy," my uncle said nonchalantly.

"Yeah, he became a pirate so he could SAVE US, YOU BIG BABOON BUTT!" I yelled.  Sarah clapped her hand over my mouth.  I stood glaring at the governor while Jack sidled up to the Commodore.

"If I may be so bold as to interject my professional opinion. The Pearl was listing near to scuppers after the battle. It's very unlikely she'll be able to make good time. Think about it, the Black Pearl, the last real pirate threat in the Caribbean, mate." He put his hand on the Commodore's shoulder. "How can you pass that up?"

"By remembering that I serve others, Mr. Sparrow, not only myself," the Commodore said, batting away Jack's hand.  Sarah looked like she'd strangle him.

"Commodore, I beg you, please do this. For me…" Elizabeth said, putting on a flirty face, "...as a wedding gift."  My jaw dropped along with Sarah's.  Ewww, she was actually marrying Norrington!?  That's just wrong...(gag)

"Elizabeth, are you accepting the Commodore's proposal?" my uncle asked happily.  Wow, he's slow...

"I am," she said, not looking very happy about it.

"A wedding? I LOVE WEDDINGS! Drinks all around!" Jack said happily.  Everyone except Sarah and I glared at him. He sighed.  "I know... clap on the irons, right?"

"," Norrington said.  "Do I make myself clear?"

"Inescapably," Jack said with a grin.

"And you two," Norrington said, turning to us, "will have to promise me that you will stop being such a pain in the behind, and will let me captain this ship, understood?"

"Yes, sir!" Sarah barked, saluting and crossing her fingers behind her back.  I did the same.  Then I squealed and gave Sarah a big gigantic hug.  "We're gonna save Will!" I said happily.

"Laurel... Sarah needs to breathe, please?"

~*~*~*~

(gasp) I know, such a short chapter! The next one will-

Laurel: Will? WHERE!

Sarah: Shut up!

(sigh) The next chapter shall be action-packed and funnier. Tootles, little dahlings!!

~*Sarah and Laurel*~