Chapter 3- Legolas fits in
"Dust Bunnies"
"Ohhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!! I don't like that password!"
At this Snape lost his cool and hit Legolas round the head. Legolas stopped short,
"Hey! That was uncalled for!"
Snape lost his temper even more, grabbed Legolas by the collar and lifted him off his feet.
"Listen to me, you stupid, irritating, infuriating, pathetic excuse of a living creature. I do not know how, or why you came here. But you had better be careful, or your lie will not be worth living!"
Legolas looked at him strangely which was probably on the account of that he was turning blue in the face,
"Uh, professor? Would it be much trouble to put me down? It's just that I'm finding it rather hard to breath!"
Snape sighed, dropped Legolas onto the floor, which caused the elf prince to hurt his….All together now!
Everyone: Delicate Elfish Buttocks!!!!"
Authors: Damn right!
Anyhow, the wall had swung open, and Snape had walked in. Legolas decided it would be best for him to lament over his D.E.B inside; so he went in.
The Slytherin common room was all done up in green and silver, much to Legolas' approval.
"Oooooh! I simply love what you've done with the place! But do you know what would really set it off?!?!? A faux fur rug in front of the fire place!" said Legolas, sounding very much like Lawrence Llewellyn Bowen.
"I kept telling professor Snape that, but he keeps saying no." said Draco, who was lying on the sofa. "He did consent to these rather chic leather sofas."
"Oh, they're simply adorable!" squealed Legolas. He plopped down on the sofa and was soon engaged in a lengthy conversation with Draco about interior design. Professor Snape decided it was probably wisest to leave them to it, so he went to prepare a potion…
*******
The conversation eventually turned to hair. Don't ask why it just did.
"How do you get your hair so pale?" asked Legolas in wonder.
"I have a simply amazing peroxide. It's semi permanent and gives your hair a wonderful tint. You should try it!"
He lead Legolas upstairs (get your mind out of the gutter) to his bathroom. He pulled a bottle down.
*****
10 minutes later Legolas was sitting with his hair in a towel.
"So tell me about this place." He said lying on a chair. (don't know quite how he managed that)
Draco who was seated opposite replied
"Well it's not that bad really. The headmaster's completely soft, Muggle lover you know. Then there's Harry Potter, my God, he drives me mad. Famous Harry Potter and his scar. He's got these hangers-on, Weasley and Granger. Weasley's just a wannabe with no money and Granger's this complete know-all. They hate me, I hate them, and so will you, if you've any sense.
*He sounds awful* thought Legolas.
"I can teach you the trademark Malfoy sneer if you want, then you'll fit in with the Slytherin crowd no problem."
"Ohhh yes please!!" said Legolas.
"Okay twist your mouth like this, no like this…"
And so it went on, all through the night. Well for 2 hours at any rate.
The unveiling came, and when the towel was unwrapped Legolas' hair was now sooo bright that if you looked at it directly, you couldn't see anything apart from a white spots in front of your eyes.
"We look like brothers!" smirked Draco.
"
We're brothers? Oh, my long lost brother!" Legolas enveloped poor Draco in a crushing hug.
"No! We look like brothers!"
"Oh well that's a bit of a let-down isn't it?"
"If you say so. Look, We'd better head up to the dormitory. If Snape catches up with us, you'll be a potions ingredient for tomorrow."
Authors note
Silveretta: Once again, thanx, all of you for reading. We're sooooo pleased with you….
Cherny: Not if you don't review!!!
Jess: Okay *raises eyebrows* ummmm thanx to all our reviewers.
Silveretta: We would mention all of you but you know, to little space.
Cherny: Please keep reviewing!! Don't flame too much!!
Jess: *nudging Cherny* No really we want constructive criticism
Silveretta: By the way the three nicest reviews for this chapter get to star in the story one way or the other.
Cherny: Ve'll email you if you're going to star. Please email back telling us how you vant to look, vear, say, how you say it etc. (Heavy Russian accent)
Jess: Sorry you see, Helen's Russian but she's Ukrainian I mean she's born in Ukraine that was actually in Russia until Ukraine decided they wanted it to be Ukrainian and anyway she speaks with a Russian accent that is actually a Ukrainian accent that the Russians copied off…
Silveretta: Shut up!!!!!!!!! God okay, the starring is only for one episode so don't say that you're the girl majorly in love with Legolas and he falls in love with you because that will take too long and it is soooooooo not this story if you know what I mean.
Cherny: Ve don't vant this to become a soap.
Jess: By the way Ivory Tower we tried to email you saying thank you for your review but it didn't work. We're emailing everyone who reviews to say thank you but so far only done three.
Anyway…
*audience wince in anticipation of the sure to come scream*
The totally clichéd gang: READ AND REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!