Heya! It's the nutters from Totally Clichéd again with another thrilling
instalment of Legolas and his adventures! We are so nearly on 30 reviews,
we want 40 for the next chapter to go up! It sounds harsh but we need
reviews!!!!!! OK, this is the last time Silveretta does the beginning
because she always has to make it so damn long! And this chapter is kinda
long, but hey! Oh, and look out for the people making cameo roles in the
story! ;)
Chapter 5-Legolas does a Malfoy
As they quickly approached Harry, Suzanna caught up with them
"Where's the fire?"
"Fire???!!!!!!! Where????!!!"
"Oh dear God" said Malfoy head in hands "look what you've started now!" he turned angrily towards Suzanna.
"Easily stopped." Replied Suzanna calmly, turning around and proceeding to bash Legolas on the head several times.
They arrived at the library where Harry and co. where setting up camp for the rest of the story. As they entered , Jennie Howarth, a 5th year Gryffindor glanced up from behind the desk. Jennie was the library assistant and very knowledgeable about books. She had brown hair in a plait halfway down her back.
"Ah, hello Potter." Sneered Malfoy
"Ah, hello Weasley." Sneered Legolas
"What the hell are you doing? You look like your face is having spasms!" said Suzanna.
"Shut up you two," said Malfoy looking increasingly annoyed by the second "so, Potter, how are you getting on with you little muggle chums?"
Harry chose to ignore this.
"Hmmm. this is proving quite difficult. I know! MUDBLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Malfoy yelled.
"Hey! You can't call her that!" said Ron, his ears going characteristically pink.
"And why not?"
"Because it only appears in the second book! You've used it too soon!"
"Whatever! Anyway Potter, did you enjoy losing, how many was it again.. 50 POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR?"
Jennie had stridden over.
"50 POINTS? You stupid little boy! And you, Malfoy, stop picking on people who can't defend themselves!"
Harry and Malfoy glared at her. Legolas tried to glare but he couldn't quite pull it off. Then he noticed something.
"Hey! I don't like you!"
Jennie folded her arms.
"And why is that?"
"Because your hair is too long! Mine is meant to be the longest in the fellowship, well, maybe except Gandalf!"
With that, he turned on his heel and strode out the door, bottom lip protruding. Malfoy and Suzanna rolled their eyes and followed him, leaving Harry, Ron and Hermione somewhat confused.
In his haste, Legolas failed to notice the 7th year Ravenclaw called Wendee with brown hair and glasses heading towards the library. His vision was also obscured by the vast pile of books Wendee was carrying. Yes, you guessed it, he knocked her over, but no, he did not realise how beautiful she was and fall in love with her.
"Rosie! I'm soooooo sorry, didn't mean to knock you over! How's Sam and Buttercup, Daisy, Strudel, Pudding, Cabbage, Dandelion, Posy, Pumpkin, Boggy, Moxie, Pepsi, Frito, Spam and Bob?!"
(if some of the characters seem familiar, i.e., Boggy, Moxie, Pepsi, Frito and Spam, that is because they are taken from 'Bored of the Rings' by the Harvard Lampoon.)
Wendee was slightly unnerved.
"Who's Rosie? And more to the point, who are you?"
"Rosie! How could you forget me? I'm so hurt!" wailed Legolas, bursting into tears. Luckily, Malfoy (shall we just call him Draco from now on?)and Suzanna had arrived. Suzanna intervened by whacking Legolas round the head. Draco wasn't quite sure what to do, so he stood and sneered.
"Come on you two! Legolas, stop harassing that girl, she's trying to pick up her books! Suzanna, kindly refrain from maiming him- as much as I'd love to join in- but we have a flying lesson to get to."
They were lined up in the grounds, yet again with Gryffindor.
"For God's sake, you would think that we're the only houses in the whole bloody school! Exclaimed Suzanna in exasperation.
Madam Hooch the randomly appeared, as did some broomsticks.
"Aaaaaaah! What are they?" this came not from Legolas, but Harry.
"Well duh!" said Legolas, giving up completely on the Malfoy sneer "They're for sweeping! Oooh goody, I love housekeeping lessons! Do we get the little pinny things?"
Madam Hooch did not hear and said
"Right, hold your hand over the brooms and say 'up'!"
Everyone's broom sprang up, with the following exceptions:
Hermione
And you could count Ron too, as he gets hit in the face, and provides the comic element.
"Now, mount your brooms!"
"Oooh, is this a new technique?"
"Now, gently push off and then pause and come."
She was cut off by Legolas, who had risen before even Neville. "Ooooh! It's vibrating!" his shouts of amazement turned to screams of horror once he realised how high he actually was. "Aiiiiiii! Lemme off! I wanna get down!" then he somehow flew over to the lake, leaving behind him Madam Hooch's yells and Neville's screams of
"You stole my bit! My only half-decent bit and you stole it!"
When he arrived at the lake, he saw Professor Snape discussing the plot line with someone dressed all in black, with black hair and maroon highlights. It was of course, and OC*! Legolas magically managed to control his broom and hovered listening to the conversation.
"It's really very simple Averil. I'm meant to be the villain, but it's actually Quirrel. He's going to try and steal the Philosopher's Stone on Halloween, I'll stop him and get bitten by the three-headed dog guarding it, so it'll look like I've tried to steal it. I will also save Harry from falling off a broomstick, despite hating him, and Harry will save the day!"
"It's pure genius Severus! Ai yai yai yai! What in the name of all that is Holy id THAT?!"
"Oh dear God, it's that...... thing, he's been ruining the plot ever since he got here! Now he'll get the day! Damn!!!! You! Lockhart! Get down here now!"
Legolas swooped down, jumped off, doing a triple flip somersault in the air and landed on his feet.
"Tada! Look at me!"
Averil, the OC teacher of elementary magic instantly drew the dagger that she had strapped to her leg.
"Watch it! One step closer and you'll resemble a pin cushion very soon!"
"Well put Averil!" applauded Snape in amazement.
Legolas was having none of it.
*THIS has got to be a dark rider plotting against me!* he thought.
"Banzai! Damn the torpedoes!!"
He flipped acrobatically in a way much resembling the fight scene at the end of The Matrix and kicked Averil into the lake.
"You idiot! You've killed the only OC in the story!! I was meant to fall in love with her!"
"Oooooh! Professor and Averil, sittin' in a."
he stopped short, as Snape was rapidly advancing with a very evil look on his face. So Legolas gave the broom a kick, so it started flying, ran alongside it and flipped himself onto it. He flew off in a very spectacular fashion......
And crashed into a tree.
*OC-Original Character for those who didn't know!
Jess: Thanks all for reviewing, we would love to thank each of you individually, bu there isn't time!
Cherny: I thought that vent rather vell, don't you?
Silveretta: My arm hurts!
Jess: Uh, great!
Cherny: She's just moaning cos she had to type it all up! Vhat a baby!
Silveretta: Hey! Am not! *Goes into a corner and sulks*
Jess: Well, anyway, keep the reviews coming! We read each and every one!
Cherny: And the more reviews, the more ve vill update! Oh, and by the vay, next chapter vill not have a cameo in it, sorry!
OK, time for the big finale...
*Silveretta reluctantly joins in after being prodded several times with a very large and pointy stcik*
All: REVIEW!!!!!
Silveretta: And make them nice and long!
Chapter 5-Legolas does a Malfoy
As they quickly approached Harry, Suzanna caught up with them
"Where's the fire?"
"Fire???!!!!!!! Where????!!!"
"Oh dear God" said Malfoy head in hands "look what you've started now!" he turned angrily towards Suzanna.
"Easily stopped." Replied Suzanna calmly, turning around and proceeding to bash Legolas on the head several times.
They arrived at the library where Harry and co. where setting up camp for the rest of the story. As they entered , Jennie Howarth, a 5th year Gryffindor glanced up from behind the desk. Jennie was the library assistant and very knowledgeable about books. She had brown hair in a plait halfway down her back.
"Ah, hello Potter." Sneered Malfoy
"Ah, hello Weasley." Sneered Legolas
"What the hell are you doing? You look like your face is having spasms!" said Suzanna.
"Shut up you two," said Malfoy looking increasingly annoyed by the second "so, Potter, how are you getting on with you little muggle chums?"
Harry chose to ignore this.
"Hmmm. this is proving quite difficult. I know! MUDBLOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Malfoy yelled.
"Hey! You can't call her that!" said Ron, his ears going characteristically pink.
"And why not?"
"Because it only appears in the second book! You've used it too soon!"
"Whatever! Anyway Potter, did you enjoy losing, how many was it again.. 50 POINTS FOR GRYFFINDOR?"
Jennie had stridden over.
"50 POINTS? You stupid little boy! And you, Malfoy, stop picking on people who can't defend themselves!"
Harry and Malfoy glared at her. Legolas tried to glare but he couldn't quite pull it off. Then he noticed something.
"Hey! I don't like you!"
Jennie folded her arms.
"And why is that?"
"Because your hair is too long! Mine is meant to be the longest in the fellowship, well, maybe except Gandalf!"
With that, he turned on his heel and strode out the door, bottom lip protruding. Malfoy and Suzanna rolled their eyes and followed him, leaving Harry, Ron and Hermione somewhat confused.
In his haste, Legolas failed to notice the 7th year Ravenclaw called Wendee with brown hair and glasses heading towards the library. His vision was also obscured by the vast pile of books Wendee was carrying. Yes, you guessed it, he knocked her over, but no, he did not realise how beautiful she was and fall in love with her.
"Rosie! I'm soooooo sorry, didn't mean to knock you over! How's Sam and Buttercup, Daisy, Strudel, Pudding, Cabbage, Dandelion, Posy, Pumpkin, Boggy, Moxie, Pepsi, Frito, Spam and Bob?!"
(if some of the characters seem familiar, i.e., Boggy, Moxie, Pepsi, Frito and Spam, that is because they are taken from 'Bored of the Rings' by the Harvard Lampoon.)
Wendee was slightly unnerved.
"Who's Rosie? And more to the point, who are you?"
"Rosie! How could you forget me? I'm so hurt!" wailed Legolas, bursting into tears. Luckily, Malfoy (shall we just call him Draco from now on?)and Suzanna had arrived. Suzanna intervened by whacking Legolas round the head. Draco wasn't quite sure what to do, so he stood and sneered.
"Come on you two! Legolas, stop harassing that girl, she's trying to pick up her books! Suzanna, kindly refrain from maiming him- as much as I'd love to join in- but we have a flying lesson to get to."
They were lined up in the grounds, yet again with Gryffindor.
"For God's sake, you would think that we're the only houses in the whole bloody school! Exclaimed Suzanna in exasperation.
Madam Hooch the randomly appeared, as did some broomsticks.
"Aaaaaaah! What are they?" this came not from Legolas, but Harry.
"Well duh!" said Legolas, giving up completely on the Malfoy sneer "They're for sweeping! Oooh goody, I love housekeeping lessons! Do we get the little pinny things?"
Madam Hooch did not hear and said
"Right, hold your hand over the brooms and say 'up'!"
Everyone's broom sprang up, with the following exceptions:
Hermione
And you could count Ron too, as he gets hit in the face, and provides the comic element.
"Now, mount your brooms!"
"Oooh, is this a new technique?"
"Now, gently push off and then pause and come."
She was cut off by Legolas, who had risen before even Neville. "Ooooh! It's vibrating!" his shouts of amazement turned to screams of horror once he realised how high he actually was. "Aiiiiiii! Lemme off! I wanna get down!" then he somehow flew over to the lake, leaving behind him Madam Hooch's yells and Neville's screams of
"You stole my bit! My only half-decent bit and you stole it!"
When he arrived at the lake, he saw Professor Snape discussing the plot line with someone dressed all in black, with black hair and maroon highlights. It was of course, and OC*! Legolas magically managed to control his broom and hovered listening to the conversation.
"It's really very simple Averil. I'm meant to be the villain, but it's actually Quirrel. He's going to try and steal the Philosopher's Stone on Halloween, I'll stop him and get bitten by the three-headed dog guarding it, so it'll look like I've tried to steal it. I will also save Harry from falling off a broomstick, despite hating him, and Harry will save the day!"
"It's pure genius Severus! Ai yai yai yai! What in the name of all that is Holy id THAT?!"
"Oh dear God, it's that...... thing, he's been ruining the plot ever since he got here! Now he'll get the day! Damn!!!! You! Lockhart! Get down here now!"
Legolas swooped down, jumped off, doing a triple flip somersault in the air and landed on his feet.
"Tada! Look at me!"
Averil, the OC teacher of elementary magic instantly drew the dagger that she had strapped to her leg.
"Watch it! One step closer and you'll resemble a pin cushion very soon!"
"Well put Averil!" applauded Snape in amazement.
Legolas was having none of it.
*THIS has got to be a dark rider plotting against me!* he thought.
"Banzai! Damn the torpedoes!!"
He flipped acrobatically in a way much resembling the fight scene at the end of The Matrix and kicked Averil into the lake.
"You idiot! You've killed the only OC in the story!! I was meant to fall in love with her!"
"Oooooh! Professor and Averil, sittin' in a."
he stopped short, as Snape was rapidly advancing with a very evil look on his face. So Legolas gave the broom a kick, so it started flying, ran alongside it and flipped himself onto it. He flew off in a very spectacular fashion......
And crashed into a tree.
*OC-Original Character for those who didn't know!
Jess: Thanks all for reviewing, we would love to thank each of you individually, bu there isn't time!
Cherny: I thought that vent rather vell, don't you?
Silveretta: My arm hurts!
Jess: Uh, great!
Cherny: She's just moaning cos she had to type it all up! Vhat a baby!
Silveretta: Hey! Am not! *Goes into a corner and sulks*
Jess: Well, anyway, keep the reviews coming! We read each and every one!
Cherny: And the more reviews, the more ve vill update! Oh, and by the vay, next chapter vill not have a cameo in it, sorry!
OK, time for the big finale...
*Silveretta reluctantly joins in after being prodded several times with a very large and pointy stcik*
All: REVIEW!!!!!
Silveretta: And make them nice and long!