Hey there peeps! Remember us? We're the wonderful people at Totally Clichéd
and a long, long time ago, in a country far, far away three girls wrote a
story. Then they didn't update for ages. But now they're back and better
than ever! So, brush away those cobwebs and prepare to be blown away by the
talent of Silveretta, Jess and Bella, as we bring you...
Legolas Drops In-CHAPTER 10!!!!!(with a reeeeeally unoriginal title)
The Stone
"Tonight's the night." Suzanna said to Draco and Legolas (who was now sporting a rather fetching long blond wig to cover up his significant lack of hair) as they sat in the Slytherin common room. "The Dream Team are going to do.. whatever it is that they're going to do." This statement would have sounded rather stupid had it come from anyone else, but it hadn't, so it didn't. But then, it wasn't exactly hard to sound intelligent around Legolas.
They decided that it would be a good idea to set off around midnight, as this was surely the time that the Dream Team would set off.
However, they got there significantly later than the Dream Team, as Legolas had to keep ducking back, insisting that he couldn't "go out looking so terrible", but changed his mind when Suzanna threatened to rip his wig off and burn it.
When they arrived at the room, they saw a large Pound Puppy© which had somehow mutated into a Cerberus-like hound of Hell. The Peroxide gang had no idea how to get past this huge beast, and Legolas voiced this by screaming. Luckily for them, the scream was perfectly pitched, and the dog seemed to find this quite adequate music, and promptly fell asleep. Legolas had a very large lung capacity, and was able to keep this scream going for an impressive amount of time, giving Draco and Suzanna a window in which to slip through the trapdoor, dragging Legolas with them-who was still screaming.
They landed on the Devil's Snare and soon found themselves caught up in it along with the Dream Team who had been sitting arguing for a long time about how to get through it. Harry wanted to burn a little fire, and Hermione was convinced that they needed to relax. Ron was just sitting wearing one of his two expressions-this one was his 'I don't like this Harry' face, as opposed to his happy face. Suzanna simply lit a Jamaican fire using rum, this was it was a relaxed fire-Jamaica, relaxed, rum, geddit?- and the Peroxide Gang slid through, leaving Harry and Hermione arguing about the best way to get through the overgrown weed.
Next, they came to a room filled with keys and brooms. They soon figured out what they had to do. Well, Suzanna did anyway.
"Well what are we going to do now?" asked Draco "none of us can fly a broom!"
Legolas puffed out his chest. "You're forgetting that you have ...Super Legolas, the youngest chaser in two centuries.
Pause
"As I was saying, none of us can fly a broom."
Suzanna was the first to speak up (what a surprise) "Legolas, do you have a hairpin?"
"Well, duh! What do you think I am, some kind of Barbarian?"
"Could I borrow it?"
Legolas sighed and fished around in his pockets producing numerous items including a small silver mirror, some mango lip butter, a copy of 'Archery Today' and a face lily (little TC in-joke there! Ask us about it, we dare you!). Finally he held a hairpin aloft in triumph. Suzanna took it and proceeded to pick the lock. This proved very satisfactory and the door clicked open. Now they should have reached the troll and the potions, but Chris Columbus had captured both those chamber and was hiding them in a secret location, so the chess game was next. When they entered, they didn't play the game (cos we can't write it), and skirted round the outside of it instead. Ha, didn't see that one coming did you??
Now for the interesting bit (finally)...The Stone
~ Dramatic Music ~
Ahem, moving on..
Professor Quirrel was looking into the Mirror of Erised. He heard the trio enter, and didn't bother to turn .
"So, you figured it out then Potter? I bet you didn't expect to see me here did you?"
"Err, Professor?"
"What is it Malfoy? Can't you see I'm being evil and scary to Potter?"
Pause
"Wait a minute. Malfoy, what are you doing here?" he turned and nearly fell over. "Jesus! It's you! And Robinsonne! And Lockhart! Well. If you're all so clever, how do I get the Stone?!"
"Use the boy!" a voice hissed.
"Which one? There's two of them, and a girl as well master."
"Well, umm, use all of them dammit!"
Quirrel crossed to Draco and shoved him in front of the mirror. Draco peered into it, and this is what he saw..
~ He was standing importantly, he was Minister of Magic. Suzanna was by his side, and lots of little blonde children- mini Draco and Suzannas- were playing at their feet ~
It soon became obvious that Draco was not going to be much help, as he was sighing and clutching his heart in a very dramatic manner. He was soon pushed out of the was, and Suzanna was put into his place.
~ See Draco's vision (but replace Minister of Magic with Italian Correspondent (if that position even exists) and Suzanna with Draco.) ~
Suzanna didn't react like Draco did, instead she began to spout a lot of incoherent Italian, which was worrying to say the least. Quirrel sighed and ushered Legolas in front of the mirror instead.
~ Legolas was standing in a Stella McCartney dress and a pair of Manolo Blahniks with a silken sash that proclaimed him 'Miss Middle-Earth, which he had won due to his talent which was archery- he had killed five Orcs at ten paces in rapid succession- and was being presented with a rather odd trophy.~
Meanwhile, in the real world...
"And I want to thank my parents, and Gandalf, and the rather lovely Strider for making this all possible and helping me to achieve my dream! I am over the moon to have received this Philosopher's Stone...huh?"
"What? The Stone? Give it to me!"
"Never!" Cried Legolas heroically.
Then, not so heroically, he started a very childish game.
"Keep away with Quirrel's stone!" He threw it to Draco, who threw it to Suzanna who threw it back to.. Harry? That's right, Harry was standing in the doorway, clothes ripped and hanging off him triumphantly clutching the Stone.
"Yes! I've got it! I can save the day! I'm the..agh!" He was cut off as all four of the other people in the room simultaneously dove at him, all trying to get the Stone. The last thing anyone remembered was Legolas hysterically screaming..
"You mean I won the Miss Middle-Earth title so that YOU could get my trophy? Over my drop-dead-gorgeous dead body!
XxX
Jess: Finally we finished it! Silveretta eventually got her butt in gear and wrote it!
Silveretta: Hey! I resent that! But it was worth the wait wasn't it!
Bella: I'm sad!
Jess: Why Bella?
Silveretta: Because you're leaving Jess! (To readers) She's going to a different school so it'll just be me and Bella finishing the story! Although Jess WILL be contributing to other TC stories!
Bella: I'm proud!
Jess: OK, dare I ask, why?
Silveretta: Duh! Cos you got an A* in your German GCSE 2 YEARS EARLY! She is a major boffin here people, though she may just kill me for saying that!
Bella: Go Jess!
Jess: [Puffs out chest and looks important] Well, I am a genius!
Silveretta: Hmm, and modest too...
Bella: Aloha!
Jess & Silveretta: Oh God, cue the hula dancing!
~ Hawaiian music, Bella starts dancing ~
Jess: Well, goodbye for now everyone! And please do me a favour, a last request if you will, PLEASE click that lil box and REVIEW ALREADY! We really want 100 reviews!
Legolas Drops In-CHAPTER 10!!!!!(with a reeeeeally unoriginal title)
The Stone
"Tonight's the night." Suzanna said to Draco and Legolas (who was now sporting a rather fetching long blond wig to cover up his significant lack of hair) as they sat in the Slytherin common room. "The Dream Team are going to do.. whatever it is that they're going to do." This statement would have sounded rather stupid had it come from anyone else, but it hadn't, so it didn't. But then, it wasn't exactly hard to sound intelligent around Legolas.
They decided that it would be a good idea to set off around midnight, as this was surely the time that the Dream Team would set off.
However, they got there significantly later than the Dream Team, as Legolas had to keep ducking back, insisting that he couldn't "go out looking so terrible", but changed his mind when Suzanna threatened to rip his wig off and burn it.
When they arrived at the room, they saw a large Pound Puppy© which had somehow mutated into a Cerberus-like hound of Hell. The Peroxide gang had no idea how to get past this huge beast, and Legolas voiced this by screaming. Luckily for them, the scream was perfectly pitched, and the dog seemed to find this quite adequate music, and promptly fell asleep. Legolas had a very large lung capacity, and was able to keep this scream going for an impressive amount of time, giving Draco and Suzanna a window in which to slip through the trapdoor, dragging Legolas with them-who was still screaming.
They landed on the Devil's Snare and soon found themselves caught up in it along with the Dream Team who had been sitting arguing for a long time about how to get through it. Harry wanted to burn a little fire, and Hermione was convinced that they needed to relax. Ron was just sitting wearing one of his two expressions-this one was his 'I don't like this Harry' face, as opposed to his happy face. Suzanna simply lit a Jamaican fire using rum, this was it was a relaxed fire-Jamaica, relaxed, rum, geddit?- and the Peroxide Gang slid through, leaving Harry and Hermione arguing about the best way to get through the overgrown weed.
Next, they came to a room filled with keys and brooms. They soon figured out what they had to do. Well, Suzanna did anyway.
"Well what are we going to do now?" asked Draco "none of us can fly a broom!"
Legolas puffed out his chest. "You're forgetting that you have ...Super Legolas, the youngest chaser in two centuries.
Pause
"As I was saying, none of us can fly a broom."
Suzanna was the first to speak up (what a surprise) "Legolas, do you have a hairpin?"
"Well, duh! What do you think I am, some kind of Barbarian?"
"Could I borrow it?"
Legolas sighed and fished around in his pockets producing numerous items including a small silver mirror, some mango lip butter, a copy of 'Archery Today' and a face lily (little TC in-joke there! Ask us about it, we dare you!). Finally he held a hairpin aloft in triumph. Suzanna took it and proceeded to pick the lock. This proved very satisfactory and the door clicked open. Now they should have reached the troll and the potions, but Chris Columbus had captured both those chamber and was hiding them in a secret location, so the chess game was next. When they entered, they didn't play the game (cos we can't write it), and skirted round the outside of it instead. Ha, didn't see that one coming did you??
Now for the interesting bit (finally)...The Stone
~ Dramatic Music ~
Ahem, moving on..
Professor Quirrel was looking into the Mirror of Erised. He heard the trio enter, and didn't bother to turn .
"So, you figured it out then Potter? I bet you didn't expect to see me here did you?"
"Err, Professor?"
"What is it Malfoy? Can't you see I'm being evil and scary to Potter?"
Pause
"Wait a minute. Malfoy, what are you doing here?" he turned and nearly fell over. "Jesus! It's you! And Robinsonne! And Lockhart! Well. If you're all so clever, how do I get the Stone?!"
"Use the boy!" a voice hissed.
"Which one? There's two of them, and a girl as well master."
"Well, umm, use all of them dammit!"
Quirrel crossed to Draco and shoved him in front of the mirror. Draco peered into it, and this is what he saw..
~ He was standing importantly, he was Minister of Magic. Suzanna was by his side, and lots of little blonde children- mini Draco and Suzannas- were playing at their feet ~
It soon became obvious that Draco was not going to be much help, as he was sighing and clutching his heart in a very dramatic manner. He was soon pushed out of the was, and Suzanna was put into his place.
~ See Draco's vision (but replace Minister of Magic with Italian Correspondent (if that position even exists) and Suzanna with Draco.) ~
Suzanna didn't react like Draco did, instead she began to spout a lot of incoherent Italian, which was worrying to say the least. Quirrel sighed and ushered Legolas in front of the mirror instead.
~ Legolas was standing in a Stella McCartney dress and a pair of Manolo Blahniks with a silken sash that proclaimed him 'Miss Middle-Earth, which he had won due to his talent which was archery- he had killed five Orcs at ten paces in rapid succession- and was being presented with a rather odd trophy.~
Meanwhile, in the real world...
"And I want to thank my parents, and Gandalf, and the rather lovely Strider for making this all possible and helping me to achieve my dream! I am over the moon to have received this Philosopher's Stone...huh?"
"What? The Stone? Give it to me!"
"Never!" Cried Legolas heroically.
Then, not so heroically, he started a very childish game.
"Keep away with Quirrel's stone!" He threw it to Draco, who threw it to Suzanna who threw it back to.. Harry? That's right, Harry was standing in the doorway, clothes ripped and hanging off him triumphantly clutching the Stone.
"Yes! I've got it! I can save the day! I'm the..agh!" He was cut off as all four of the other people in the room simultaneously dove at him, all trying to get the Stone. The last thing anyone remembered was Legolas hysterically screaming..
"You mean I won the Miss Middle-Earth title so that YOU could get my trophy? Over my drop-dead-gorgeous dead body!
XxX
Jess: Finally we finished it! Silveretta eventually got her butt in gear and wrote it!
Silveretta: Hey! I resent that! But it was worth the wait wasn't it!
Bella: I'm sad!
Jess: Why Bella?
Silveretta: Because you're leaving Jess! (To readers) She's going to a different school so it'll just be me and Bella finishing the story! Although Jess WILL be contributing to other TC stories!
Bella: I'm proud!
Jess: OK, dare I ask, why?
Silveretta: Duh! Cos you got an A* in your German GCSE 2 YEARS EARLY! She is a major boffin here people, though she may just kill me for saying that!
Bella: Go Jess!
Jess: [Puffs out chest and looks important] Well, I am a genius!
Silveretta: Hmm, and modest too...
Bella: Aloha!
Jess & Silveretta: Oh God, cue the hula dancing!
~ Hawaiian music, Bella starts dancing ~
Jess: Well, goodbye for now everyone! And please do me a favour, a last request if you will, PLEASE click that lil box and REVIEW ALREADY! We really want 100 reviews!