Another Life… or not
Actually, the writing of Another Life went surprisingly well, probably because it was told solely from Janus' point of view, which meant that he got to direct almost everything. And if he stays content, nobody else seem to dare messing things up. The only real hiccup was trying to get the last fight with Charash right, just before Lizard and his friends came to save the day. We had to redo that part several times before we finally managed to come out with a scene that didn't toast my living room or any of the involved characters. I'm still trying to get the smell of fried frog out of the sofa…
The Prince's story
Angelic interference in chapter 4:
"What the crap is that?"
A giant finger pointed at the green, knitted sleeve. A big, long bump that didn't really look like it belonged there could be seen, stretching over the bigger part of the upper arm.
"Oh that…"
Weiila poked at the bump where it ended just by her shoulder, and it moved a bit with a low snore.
"Just a sleepy head," the author said with a fond little smile.
"I wash my hands of it…" Lavos muttered and walked over to Molor, who had transformed into his dragon form.
The snake wasn't filling up the living room however, since he wasn't much bigger than a middle-sized dog.
"You need to be at least twice as big, I think," Weiila thoughtfully instructed.
Molor carefully shrugged his bony black shoulders and grew some more.
"Little more still… there, much better."
Schala and Janus walked onto the set.
Even though he wasn't Magus anymore, it didn't do much for the warlock's relationship with the author.
"Alright, so I'm just a helpless vegetable in this scene?" Janus grunted, "just great…"
"It's a grand role, people will be dying to have you saved!" Weiila said, "they always do."
"Yeah, right."
"Hey now," the author mildly said, "I'm kinder to you than most people out there. I don't pair you up with Flea or Ayla."
Shuddering Janus turned away and levitated up from the floor, stretching out his arms in either direction.
"You've just come to save the day Schala, well, to try," Weiila instructed, "Janus is hard to reach though."
"And what do we do?" Lavos asked, motioning at Molor.
"Fight like animals!"
"Roger!"
With a snap of fingers the living room turned into a dark and sinister nothingness.
"Ready, set, go!" Weiila called as she sat down.
Molor flew at Lavos who fell backwards and stupidly glared up at the dragon grinning down at him – like Molor had a choice, having no lips as a dragon – while waving his tail like a happy puppy.
"Gotcha!" the dragon proclaimed in a silly, happy voice.
Janus and Schala tried to hide their laughs in their hands.
"No fair!" the alien whined and got to his feet.
And the battle raged on.
Schala shrugged and pretended to stumble in from nowhere.
Molor's blood-red wings swept out, the claws on their corners cutting into a floating blob each. Lavos growled in pain and raised a hand. A pale light swept up from Janus' body like a misty cloud and raced over to the alien. Molor was thrown backwards and Lavos attacked him with new energy.
"Psst, Janus!" Schala hissed from the corner of her mouth, "you're supposed to be in pain I think."
"It just tickled for crap's sake… alright, alright…" the warlock grunted and then groaned, "ahh!"
Schala hurried over to her brother, nervously glancing at the combatants to make sure she wasn't seen.
"Janus, can you hear me?!" she hissed.
No reply. He was grimacing in pain.
Suddenly more light left him and he sunk a few inches towards the ground with a groan.
"So that's how…" Schala whispered.
Janus opened his mouth to cry out in despair over the nightmares Lavos' "gave" him in order to "keep him chained", but was interrupted in his dramatics by one of the most irritating sounds there is.
*Brrrrring!!*
"Crappy phone!" just about everyone growled.
The characters weren't always happy with the scenes, but when they got things working they didn't like being interrupted. At least not from outer forces.
Hurried footsteps were heard.
"It's for you!" what sounded like Hawk from Seiken Densetsu III said from Weiila's position.
"Thanks."
On the set everyone grunted but relaxed, waiting for the end of the call.
"Oh, hi!" Weiila said behind the dark veil, "uhuh. Uhuh. But I'm working with him here… hm, I suppose. Well, alright. I'll let you talk to him."
The author came into the void and threw the phone at Janus. He easily caught it in a graceful movement with his whole arm.
"What is it?" he asked Weiila.
"It's d_Galloway," she said, "he wants to do something with you in it."
Janus dropped the phone as if it had been red hot charcoal.
"No crappy way!" he screeched and disappeared off into the darkness.
Weiila calmly walked over to the phone and picked it up again.
"Yep, he ran off," she told the guy on the other side, "yeah, sure. I'll get him, no problem. Nope, I ain't got no ace up my sleeve. I've got a joker though. Hang on a sec."
She handed the phone to Schala and poked at the previously mentioned bump on her arm with her pointing finger.
"Wake up, darling. Come on now. Sleep time is over," she softly told the small hill, as if she was trying to awake a demon kid who hated mornings.
"Jusht a few mmmore mim…" the bump snored and moved around a bit.
"Now now, up you go."
"Myum…"
The bump stretched up with a loud yawn. It was hard to see what it was under the sleeve, but something…
Weiila reached in under her collar and pulled out a blond figure, about the size of a Barbie doll. He was shrouded in purple, flowing cloth and on his back were angel wings, which were what he was held by. This fellow was the fear of all FF6 characters… well, he would have been if he hadn't been a bastardization similar to Janus the Royal Wizard.
"Wazzit?" the character yawned.
"Janus just ran off, but I need him here," Weiila instructed, "would you get him for me?"
"Aye-yay!"
Upon release the angel dropped to the floor but grew twice as tall as Lavos upon touching the ground.
"Fetch, boy!" Weiila grinned, pointing in the direction of the warlock's escape.
Chuckling like a mad chicken the angel set off after the escapee.
Within thirty seconds he came prancing back like a dog, carrying Janus' cloak between his teeth. And the wearer was still in it, with the expression of a storm cloud.
"Good work, Kerr," Weiila chuckled as Kefka's nutty twin brother happily waved with his wings.
"That wasn't fair!" Janus loudly protested.
Schala walked over to Weiila.
"Galloway says that he wants you in the fic too," the princess carefully said, "something about turning you into a kid."
Weiila blinked. And blinked.
"No crappy way!"
And off she was.
For a moment everybody just exchanged glances. Then Janus slowly began to grin.
"Kerr?" he said.
"Mhmm?"
"Fetch. Ouff!"
Even if he landed rather gracelessly on the floor, the sight of a struggling Weiila being carried back with her collar between Kerr's teeth was a sight that made him forget the humiliation. And the photos Lavos took would warm many a cold winter evening.
"Galloway's waiting," the alien told the angel as the former lowered the black box of pictures, "be nice and bring them over to him, will you?"
"Okay!" Kerr merrily nodded and grabbed a waist in each hand.
"Damn you Lavooos!!" the two long-haired people shouted while blasting off.
Two crashes were heard as Kerr penetrated the ceiling and roof, then all turned quiet.
"He's such a sweet boy," Schala fondly said, watching the more and more distant angel through the hole in the fading nothingness that was supposed to be Janus' mind.
Molor and Lavos nodded in silence.
"I'm worried about Janus though," the dragon said with a sigh.
"Ach, he'll be fine," Lavos assured, "surely humiliated and homicidal when he gets back, but fine."
"You're one too talk calmly, you're not sleeping in the same room as him. Psh, when he's mad, I don't get any sleep at all. Now what do we do?"
"How about watch a movie?" Hawk called and peaked into the void.
"Yeah, they'll be gone for days," Schala agreed.
"Movie night! Open the vault!" the ninja shouted and scurried off to make popcorn.
"But make sure your kids don't eat the tapes this time, okay?" the princess of Zeal muttered to Lavos.
"I've sent them to a disciplinary course, don't worry," the alien mildly said.
Molor and Schala watched him in confusion for a moment.
"For giant hedgehogs?" the dragon finally said, "who's leading the course?"
"You."
"Oh. Crap it…"
Muttering to himself Molor spidered off, followed by his team mates.
Now, some of you are probably wondering what the heck happened here. "Kerr" is sort-of like Janus the Royal Wizard, being Kefka's (FF3/6j) twin brother. The first time he showed up was in "Gogo's Secret II: Another Face", where you can get the full explanation on who he is. He gets the full recognition in my other epic in the works, "Alternate Fates", which is a spinoff from "Another Face". Both of these can be found on ff.net, so simply click my name up there near the top of the page if you're interested.
The reason that the only swear word ever uttered "off screen" in this fic being "crap" can be found in my "Hanging Around", also on ff.net. It's one of my first fics and posted here only on demand… I don't want to take responsibility, but it's somewhat of a classic at RPGClassics where it was originally posted. But it's really crap stupid…
The fic by d_Galloway that Janus and me not so successfully tried to escape from can be found in rpcglcassic's fanfic archives, the comedy archives. I've tried to post the full url, but that disappears when in the uploaded text. Well, to make it simpler for you I made the fanfic section the link for "My Homepage" in my profile. Ain't I nice? ;P
Just scroll down a little to reach Gallo's section. The story we got caught in is "The Mox Saga". I recommend that you read the first eight "The FF breakroom" chapters before you dig into Mox' tale, since they're semi preludes.