Disclaimer: The series Card Captor Sakura does not belong to me.
RuByMoOn: I put cliffhangers because I love my readers sooo much. *grins evilly* Okay, I put them on because I just wanna. Gyah... I'm not nice, ne?
Aore: Awww... I'm glad to know that my updating makes SOMEBODY happy! Wheee!
starlight princess: It's out! Happiness ensure? ^__^
mysticalia: The Name factor was never really something that I understood myself. (What?! What the hell are you talking about, you damned bitch author?! YOU WROTE THIS STORY!!! Haha. Yeah... I'm j/k! Nooo! Don't take me seriously, or I'd sound stupid!) Basically, I used the idea of Names to make a soul mate concept out of it. You hold and cherish the significant other's Name, you two are meant to be. And about Syaoran and Tomoyo... whee! ^^ Keep guessing. You'll find out why Sakura slapped Eriol. Secrets aren't a good thing to keep, after all...
Kimmy & Lizzy: I continued. Hehe. Keep reading for me, please!
Kimmy: I know what you mean. I should stop being so lazy, anyway. Hehe. If I keep writing, I keep getting better! YAH!
tiarella-cordifolia: Now I know that you love this fanfic. I love yoouuu for loving it! *glomps her* I try to be as original as I can. I'm glad I accomplished that part.
Gigicerisier: Your romantic chapter has come out. *grins* You'll find out more stuff here. Hehe. Thanks for reviewing!
Chapter Fifteen: Clash of Emotions
Day 30 - Shadow World
"What did you do?" Sakura gasped. She was still wearing the same thing: scarf over a shirt and a pair of jeans. She then moved forward to grip her hands on his arms, staring straight at his face. "What happened?! Wh... wh... why?!"
Eriol shook his head, moving his hand up to hold her face, but she evaded his touch. He smiled. "Come on, Sakura, I'm tired. Let me just get some rest, and then we'll go find Syaoran, okay? We'll get him back for you, and you'll live happily ever after. On Earth, of course; totally not here." He moved to walk past her, turning his head away.
"You're wet... you went somewhere, Eriol! I want an answer now!!" she shouted.
He slowly turned his head back, staring at her with half-opened eyes as his eyelids tried to jerk up once more to look as if everything was fine. "I got rid of him for you, Sakura. That... lord will never have anybody to order around anymore, because he..." Eriol then walked off again, this time, with Sakura starting to understand exactly what had happened. He sat down on the bed, his abdomen not feeling as pleasant once more.
"You did... what?! I was worried, but now... I don't know what to think! Is it fun for you to torture me like this?! Is it?!" She reached out and her hand clasped onto his shoulder when he jerked his head up. This time, Sakura was not the only one who looked angry and infuriated.
"God!" Eriol yelled, his hair flying in the air, with the water flaying out as well. "What do you want from me, Sakura?! I told you that I'd help you get Syaoran back, and that STILL isn't enough?!"
Shaking her head, Sakura said, "It's just another game for you, isn't it?! It's never serious! Don't think that I don't remember what it was like back in fifth grade-"
"And fifth grade is the only time that you remember me!" Eriol said, gasping some air out of his lungs. Damn. Still too painful for him. "Look, you hardly knew me. Why don't you just leave me alone, and we'll just forget that this ever happened okay? You don't need to know what I did," Eriol then tried to muster up a smile, but realizing that he failed badly, just turned his gaze away from her. He sat down on the bed and wrapped his arm around his stomach, attempting ease the pain away, at least until this argument was over.
"I knew you in fifth grade! You and I were best friends, along with Tomoyo and Syaoran! Are you trying to tell me that all of those times were just... lies?!" she asked.
Eriol nodded automatically. "I am a sorcerer. I have to be good at deception. You're not supposed to know that I was really Clow Reed's reincarnation. I mean, sure I enjoyed a couple of things we did together and all..."
"LIAR!" she yelled, horrified at his casualness at the moment. "We had fun in elementary school! You couldn't have smiled all those times and not really mean just one of them to be sincere!"
"Just go-" he started to shout.
"Like hell I will!" Sakura hissed at him, putting both arms on both sides of the bed, staring straight into his eyes. "I don't understand this! I-I mean, you're always smiling. Well, yeah, that's a good thing. But now I realize that it isn't. At least, not with you!" she added hastily in an angry and annoyed tone. "You're hurt, you're obviously in pain, and you STILL freaking smile! Don't you care that people worry about you?! Or are you always in denial like this-"
"I am NOT in denial! Why don't you just get over that right now?! I'm just fine!" This was not how he had wanted for things to go. In a way, Sakura was not supposed to find out anything. And now that she has, and she was not happy about it.
"Can't tell by the way you're acting!"
Getting up from his bed, Eriol walked up to her, grabbed her arm, and jerked her, as if hoping that shaking her would cause her to stop what she was doing. "Why. Don't. You. Just. Try. To. Leave. Me. ALONE!!" he yelled with each shake, ignoring the pain that his actions were causing him in his abdomen.
When he finished, the two of them were breathing heavily, Eriol from the seething and aching pain in him, and Sakura from jumping around, yelling at him, and now being shook by him. "So," she whispered, looking away to her side. "Is that what you want from me? You want me to just get the heck outta here and forget about you?"
Blinking, Eriol looked down at her. He realized just how close they were, how her hair was just a few millimeters away from his mouth, and how he could smell her. She wasn't looking at him, and it hurt to know that. To know that they were so close and yet she did not want to see his face. He started to wonder what happening. Why he was feeling this way. How she enveloped him with her scent. Ooohhh no. What was happening to him? When he saw that Sakura was trying to pull away, he felt himself grip her shoulders even tighter. No. There was no way that he was letting her go.
Oh. Maybe she wanted him to answer her question... No wonder she was trying to get away.
Still gazing at her, Eriol found that he couldn't talk. Something was blocking his voice and words from coming out. "Umm..." he managed. And he tried hard, too.
Finally, in relief, Eriol saw that Sakura was looking up at him. "Let me go, Eriol," she told him.
Oh. Not a good thing.
"I..." he whispered huskily, wondering how his voice got that way, and why he was acting like this. "I can't."
Staring up at him, Eriol saw a slow flush cover Sakura's face.
Not knowing how it happened, Eriol found that his lips were on hers. He continued to silently gaze into her eyes, seeing her surprise, when her eyes gradually closed and she wrapped her arms around his neck. Whoa. When did that happen?
*~*~*~*~*~*
Day 30 - Shadow World
Somehow, Eriol managed to move the two of them to the bed without disconnecting their lips. To make things more blissful, Sakura did not act as if she minded at all, along with the fact that the pain from his stomach had diminished. He kissed her top lip, her bottom one, and then just let his mouth guide him, closing his eyes, just trying to taste as much of her as he could. With her back on the bed, Sakura sighed softly as she wrapped her arms around his neck.
He felt himself kissing her again and again, feeling his tongue meet hers as he tried to press himself to her as hard as he could, probably trying to crush her underneath him. Bliss. It was pure bliss. Thank God that Yue, Cerberus, Nakuru, and everybody else were not here, predicting their reactions to this. Quickly, Eriol pushed those thoughts to the back of his head, hardly acknowledging them when he took his mouth away from hers to bite gently at her neck, then quickly moved back up to claim what was his.
She was his, after all, Eriol realized. He held her Name in his grasp, and that was more than enough proof for him to hold onto this emotion he contained within him. And he knew she held his, causing them both to be bound to each other. I care for you, Sakura, and you know that...
He pulled her closer to her, wrapping his arms around her waist, and feeling her hands move up and down his chest. Gently, she passed her hands over his wound, and placed them there for a second. Eriol could feel her sadness over the injury on him, and he wanted to smile in happiness, knowing that she cared.
After a while-Eriol couldn't really tell how long it had been-finally disconnecting his lips to hers, Eriol started to move down her cheek to her throat again, placing his lips on the path he made while Sakura tilted her head up, giving him better access. When he reached the base of her neck, Eriol quickly undid the scarf she had on, still making sure nothing else was too out of place. He started to rain kisses on her now exposed shoulder. Her own touches on him were intoxicating, encouraging and wonderful. Unconsciously, he whispered her Name, mumbling it slightly above the sound of air itself.
Eriol then took in her scent, and starting to move on when he felt soft hands on his face, stopping him in his position. They were gentle on his skin, yet held a warning he knew he needed to consider.
Looking up, Eriol's eyes widened. Oh, no... What in the world were they doing?! He realized that Sakura might have been thinking the same thing when he saw noticed she was in a sort of daze. "Sakura?" he whispered softly, afraid to move in case he might somehow hurt her if he did.
As if his voice broke through to her, Sakura's eyes snapped awake, and she hurried to pull her scarf back up. Quickly, she shuffled off of his bed, and stumbled as she tried to get to the door.
"Sakura..." Eriol tried, and then said louder, "Sakura!" But before he could attempt to stop her, she had already run out of the room.
Sighing in dread and frustration, Eriol sat at the edge of the bed, and covered his face with his hands. Suddenly, the entire pain had surfaced back up again. Damn.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Day 30 - Shadow World
Sakura ran out of the room, almost tripping down the stairs, and burst out of the door of the inn, finding herself attacked by the cold, harsh wind. She gulped in short breaths, sucking in air as she stared at the droplets of water from the sky. Wrapping her arms around herself, Sakura fell to the ground, and just curled up there.
She could still see Eriol's eyes when he first kissed her, how they held so much within them. Sakura slowly lifted her hands to touch her lips, remembering how his were wet from the rain after he had come back. What... what possessed her to allow him to do what he did before? What possessed her to encourage it and give more back? Sakura closed her eyes, sighing as she worried about how she would confront Eriol soon. They have to continue to journey, together. For her sake, and probably for his as well, they will make it through this, and after they return to Earth, he will probably leave. Again.
"Sakura..."
She gasped, jerking her head around as she moved away from where the voice was heard. It was Eriol, and he held a hand out, offering to pull her up while his other hand was placed over his stomach. Sakura felt herself wrench in half to see that he was still hurt. And yet, instead of taking his hand, she quickly got up, tucking some hair behind her ear. "I-I-I can get back up myself," she murmured, her eyes turned away.
Reluctantly, he receded his hand back to his side and slowly nodded his head. "We'll go search tomorrow," he whispered. "I'm sure that some people will know of the place we're searching for." With those words, he turned around, slowly walking back into the inn.
Sakura followed silently, cringing when she saw him pause momentarily, but resumed his walking as quickly as he had stopped. He must be seriously hurting... she realized. "I'll take the floor tonight," she said aloud. "You take the bed."
Eriol looked at her behind him, and shook his head. "No. I will be fine."
"But-"
"No!" he shouted, then softened his voice when he realized how harsh he might have sounded. "I... I will be fine..."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Day 31 - Shadow World
"Well?" Syaoran asked Tgaeh after he returned from the day's work. "How is it?"
Tgaeh smiled, nodding his head as he entered Syaoran's room. "They are ready for action; all they need is the signal. How do you fare? I suppose the medicinal objects that the bahrrn obtained and gave me to apply to your wounds have been effective?"
Syaoran nodded his head. "I'll be able to move in maybe one or two more days. Then, we'll go against Dtarna."
"What do you have in mind, exactly?" Tgaeh asked, raising an eyebrow.
Sighing, he lifted his hand to place on the back of his neck, massaging it slightly. "The main thing, I think, is that we need a confrontation with Dtarna. If we can defeat her, then it's all done. Do you remember that poem you recited to me? I think the eons are finally gone, and this is finally going to happen. She has many guards, bareens-"
"Bahrrns," Tgaeh corrected.
"Look! I just can't say that word!" Syaoran shouted in exasperation. "Leave me alone about it, will ya?!" He then took in a deep breath, with Tgaeh's amused expression not helping at all. "Anyway, she has many guards there, from what I last remember. If we can get enough people to take them down, or distract them, then we can reach to her place no problem. She has some women waiting on her, but they don't do anything.
"Now," he said, looking up at Tgaeh, "I think the best thing we can do is get a distraction, because I'm sure we don't have enough people to fight against all of them. We don't have many weapons, and they probably have some magical items with them as well. Not that I don't anymore, either," he grinned, fishing out his scrolls from his pocket. "We have very little fire power, so we need to concentrate on this distraction. What do you think will be the most effective way to get almost all of the guards away from their positions to go investigate something that they think there's a problem with?"
With that question in his mind, Tgaeh quickly sat down, his hand to his mouth in deep thought. "What would be of such a significant matter to them that would cause them to move away from their standings?" he whispered. "Well, the day after tomorrow, they are going to discard the amount of rocks placed in the demolition pile..."
Syaoran's eyes widened at those words. "Wait... so it's going to happen the day after tomorrow?"
Tgaeh nodded his head. "That is when they put the illusions up, and force us to return to our accommodations," he explained, not noticing that the gears inside of Syaoran's mind were starting to work, obviously seeing something important in what Tgaeh was saying. "That is when most of them go guard... that... place..."
At almost the same time, Tgaeh realized exactly what he had just said. The two guys looked up at each other, and exclaimed, "The working site!"
*~*~*~*~*~*
Day 32 - Shadow World
Eriol looked around, looking about for what he was searching for. He was in the streets of Lyrra, wandering in search for the second day. Sakura... he thought sadly. All she had done for these days was sit in her room silently, only listening to him when he brought food for her. He clenched his hands into fists angrily, wondering why it could not have been him who met her first instead of Syaoran, and won her heart.
I hold her Name in my hands, but it doesn't matter to her at all. She still loves Syaoran, and I am just... here. It's almost as if I'm just getting in the way of Syaoran and her, but... I... I care for her. I deeply care for her, and I still will, even if she won't return those same feelings back to me.
Suddenly, Eriol stopped in his steps when he reached just almost the end of the city, where it appeared to be isolated from the rest of the buildings. There, in front of him, was a large field of rocks piled upon one another, and workers laboring away under the hot sun after the night rain. Beyond that was a large palace, almost reaching up to the sky. But, with the slaves, he could recognize their exhausted expression, their tired bodies. He began to walk towards them, when Eriol found himself hit with some sort of power, and flew backwards.
Groaning, he looked up and recognized the formula for an invisible barrier. Getting back up, he took a random person by the hand and said, "Excuse me! I'm sorry, but... what is this place?" He gestured to the palace.
The woman stared at him, raising an eyebrow. "Why, sir, this is the palace of where Master Dtarna resides in."
"And Master Dtarna is... the master, right?" he asked, laughing softly in a nervous tone of voice.
"Yes," she said. "The master of the Shadow World, of course. Why, everybody knows that. Did you parents teach you nothing when you were younger, boy?"
"I... I'm sorry," he stammered, feigning embarrassment as he sheepishly. "Excuse me now, but thank you."
*~*~*~*~*~*
Day 32 - Shadow World
Eriol quickly returned back to the inn, stopping once to obtain some food. He walked up the stairs and opened the door to their room, to find Sakura sitting on the bed, her head bowed slightly with her eyes closed. When she heard the motion of the door swinging, her head jerked up, eyes meeting with Eriol's.
He averted his gaze and walked to sit down on a chair next to the bed. "Are you hungry?" he asked.
Sakura shook her head. "No. I'm fine."
"I found where Dtarna's palace is."
"Oh?"
"Yes. We can go see to finding Syaoran tomorrow immediately." He sucked in his breath, letting it out slowly. "Also... after we find him, and leave this place, I won't say a thing."
"What?" she asked, looking up. "What are you talking about?"
"The thing that happened last night, Sakura," Eriol stated. "It wasn't anything important, right? You'll be just fine without me there."
Sakura moved to her body to look at him fully, and frowned. "I didn't mean for it to be like this, Eriol! Why do you have to make everything look like it's my fault?!"
"Of course you didn't mean for this to happen, Sakura. None of us wanted this, I know... I know all of that." He also then turned, and stared straight into her eyes.
"But last night..."
"What happened last night, it confused me to unknown depths. I never knew that I could feel this way, especially towards any of you. Kaho... sure. Kaho... yes. But you, Sakura. You are incredible, and I just can't help it. Even though just seconds ago I told you that I wanted to forget about this, what makes you think that I won't? I can try to, for your sake, and Syaoran's. For both you, I am willing to leave it alone." Yet slowly, unconsciously, his hand was making its way towards her own, a contradiction upon his words. "Sakura..."
She sighed, closing her eyes. Eriol inched his face closer, his lips almost touching her own. In the next moment, they brushed against her own lightly. "Kaniana..." he murmured.
As if that one word woke her up, Sakura startled, and backed up. Gasping, she clutched her head, trembling furiously. "No! I can't... I can't--!!!"
"Ka... Kani..." Eriol whispered, his eyes widening.
"NO!" Sakura gasped, her hand to her mouth as she back away. "Don't say it!! Don't say it!!!" she pleaded. "You... you killed..."
"How could I not?!" he shouted angrily. "That man was about to rape you, for crying out loud, Sakura!" In the next instant, he was up on the bed in front of her, his arms wrapped tightly around her shoulders. "If he had hurt you even more, I have no clue what I would have done. I never wanted to see you that hurt ever again," he said against her hair. "Ever since this journey started, something told me to protect you, to make sure you would never get hurt. There were times when it was my fault, and there were times when others caused the pain. When it was them, the anger surged within me, and I felt violence run through my veins. I... I... Kaniana-"
Sakura pushed Eriol away once more, backing up as much as she could until she felt her back touch the wall.
Eriol stared at the shaken girl in front of him. "Ka- I mean, Sakura..." he said.
"Stop, Eriol! Don't..." she whispered. "Oh, no... It can't be... It can't be..."
Eriol bit his lip. Kaniana... he whispered in his head.
"I told you to not say it! Please! Please stop it!" she shouted.
Taking a step back, Eriol blanked out, not knowing what to do in order to stop the one he adored in front of him from crying. So she could hear her Name, no matter when or where it was said. He gulped in some air, and breathed out, "I love you."
Sakura's eyes opened when she heard those words. Looking up at him, she tried to slow her instability down, and curled up into a ball, hugging her knees. Unable to stop herself, she uttered the only reply she could think of, even though she knew he could hear her crystal clear, considering how she heard his. Quan... she pleaded.
Eriol cupped her chin into his hands, forcing her to stare into his eyes. Already, she felt herself get lost in them, the dark and light mixture of colors swirling within them. Oh, the beauty they expressed, the hypnotic way she drew in towards them. The unwanted desire she felt grew, and for a while, she ignored it. "Yes," he whispered. And when he spoke, the tone of his voice lured her soul even more, the music and emotion each word expressed. "Say it again. Say my Name again. I want to hear your voice."
"Qu... Qu..." she managed.
"I love you," he continued to whisper, tucking her hair behind her ear. "I've always loved you, Kaniana." This time, to his happiness, Sakura did not show ire at him when he said her Name. "I loved you since I first saw you. I just didn't know so. And I still love you. Please... Please, Sakura... You know that I would never use your Name. It is yours. I cherish it."
"And I cherish yours," she whispered, bringing a hand up to hold onto his. "It is yours, as mine is mine."
Eriol stroked her face slightly, delighted that she was speaking to him. He kissed her eyes. "I love you," he breathed. He kissed her cheek, and her entire face but her lips, continuing to mutter those words to her each time. "Please, Sakura... Please don't leave me. Please don't hate me..." Then, he started to move in to kiss her lips once more.
One movement ceased his actions, and shattered his hopes.
Sakura turned away.
Immediately, that movement showed him the loss of his temporary hold on her. The futile use of her Name. The beauty the two would have shared if she could only open her eyes and see. Instead, she chose the choice she felt safe with. The choice which the two had come to this world to seek. The choice, at this very moment, whom he felt anger and raging jealousy, yet utter loss towards.
He did not need to hear the next words that came from her mouth.
"We can't. Leave me," she whispered to him.
Eriol looked at her, but she wouldn't stare at him again. You cherished my name! How could you do this to me! he wanted to shout to her. You love me... you know you do... But he felt himself too choked with emotions to let himself foolishly release them in such a way. No. He must let go with a calmness, as to not lose her more than he already did. Defeated, he gradually got up, and walked out of her room. Before he left, he said, "We'll find Syaoran tomorrow. Good luck."
Sitting there silently, Sakura felt her heavy eyelids slid over her view. Good luck? What in the world did he mean by that? Good luck in finding Syaoran? Good luck in forgetting all of this? Or just good luck in general? Instead of focusing on seeking an answer to those two words he had uttered, she allowed herself to be enveloped by the darkness, the tearing pain overwhelming her.
Quan...
*~*~*~*~*~*
Gyah... the moments make me happy. *squeals* What? Did you guys REALLY expect me to put them together THAT easily? Nooooo. That's not fun. *laughs* I'm so weird... Anyway, that was pretty sappy. Pretty romance-y, right? Then it reached the angst. Whoo! This story is fun to write... Review now, please! Tell me what you think! ^^\/ See you all next chapter.