Disclaimer: I don't own anything, never will.
A/N - Short angsty fic, please review.
Guilt feelings
I didn't think it would go this far. I don't think he did either, it just happened. Snowballing out of control until one day, he was just gone, gone forever.
One minute, every things okay, not great you understand, but okay. It was just an argument, a fight that would be resolved.
He left, we just forgot, went on with everyday life and after that, well, you know what they say.
Out of mind, out of sight.
You just don't realise how true that is.
He was in the paper today, you know, the obituary. Cordy showed Angel but he did the same thing he always does when he hears that name. He walked away.
It makes me so mad sometimes. The way they act pretending he was evil they ignore all the things he's done, the good, heroic things.
All that, thrown out the window and for what? A mistake, one we all would have made had we been in his shoes.
I just don't understand.
I can't forgive myself for what happened, I'm not sure I want to. I know if I'd stuck by him, he wouldn't have done it; he wouldn't have picked up that gun.
I wanted to I really did.
I almost came close to walking out but you have to understand everything I have now is because of Angel I owe him everything.
It helps to think like that, it eases the pain slightly. Lies, its all lies. I stayed because I'm weak, I got scared and in the end, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand up to him.
I'm paying now, I can't sleep, can't eat. I can't even close my eyes without seeing his face. I think it's affecting them too, Cordelia doesn't talk much and Gunn, well, he doesn't come by anymore.
Angel, I'm not sure how he's doing. He doesn't seem different, its just business as usual.
I'm not so sure I can handle business anymore. I spend most of my time here. In the cold, in the dark because here it almost feels like I'm forgiven. I stand staring at that word, calved into stone, minute after minute, hour after hour.
DECEASED.
They're killing me, these guilt feelings.
A/N - Short angsty fic, please review.
Guilt feelings
I didn't think it would go this far. I don't think he did either, it just happened. Snowballing out of control until one day, he was just gone, gone forever.
One minute, every things okay, not great you understand, but okay. It was just an argument, a fight that would be resolved.
He left, we just forgot, went on with everyday life and after that, well, you know what they say.
Out of mind, out of sight.
You just don't realise how true that is.
He was in the paper today, you know, the obituary. Cordy showed Angel but he did the same thing he always does when he hears that name. He walked away.
It makes me so mad sometimes. The way they act pretending he was evil they ignore all the things he's done, the good, heroic things.
All that, thrown out the window and for what? A mistake, one we all would have made had we been in his shoes.
I just don't understand.
I can't forgive myself for what happened, I'm not sure I want to. I know if I'd stuck by him, he wouldn't have done it; he wouldn't have picked up that gun.
I wanted to I really did.
I almost came close to walking out but you have to understand everything I have now is because of Angel I owe him everything.
It helps to think like that, it eases the pain slightly. Lies, its all lies. I stayed because I'm weak, I got scared and in the end, I just couldn't do it. I couldn't stand up to him.
I'm paying now, I can't sleep, can't eat. I can't even close my eyes without seeing his face. I think it's affecting them too, Cordelia doesn't talk much and Gunn, well, he doesn't come by anymore.
Angel, I'm not sure how he's doing. He doesn't seem different, its just business as usual.
I'm not so sure I can handle business anymore. I spend most of my time here. In the cold, in the dark because here it almost feels like I'm forgiven. I stand staring at that word, calved into stone, minute after minute, hour after hour.
DECEASED.
They're killing me, these guilt feelings.