Chapter 3: The Invincible Wall
"Not a day goes by,
Without a tear in my eye,
That rolls down my cheek
And makes me high.
The sadness is strong
But the feeling is not shown
Everyday a tear is bred anew,
And follows the same path over,
And over again.
I need you to stop that tear.
I need you to suppress my sadness.
I need you close to my heart,
Where your breath is warm,
And sweet."
-Cloud
"There," said Cloud, finishing up his poem for Aeris. She came to him in his dreams the day before he went to visit her grave. In a curding flash, he got up and wrote down a string of words like pearls from the sacred seas. In his dream, she looked as radiant as ever, her emerald eyes were sparkling like precious gems and her mahogany hair flowing around her body like exotic vines. She had on the same rosy colored dress, and tattered brown boots but she looked as alive as any living being. She looked so real. She was surrounded by a very angelic aura that was welcoming and warm. Cloud felt himself reaching forward. His hand was very close to her supple face when she vanished into thin air leaving him sitting upright on his bed, missing her once again.
After writing his poem, he lay down again and tried to sleep. However, the dream he had was still in the midst of his thoughts that he could not even bring himself to sleep and let the dream vanish. Staying up all night, he could only indulge himself in the songs of the insects in the open fields and the snores of Barrett and Red. He could hear Tifa in talking in her sleep about chipmunks and dwarfs. Getting up, he put on his robe and headed for the door to get some fresh air from the outside world. He stepped out onto the narrow streets and walked slowly to the entrance of the city. The fluorescent lights were out and the city was in total darkness except for a few street lights still burning a dim green under the dark night sky. He dug his hands deep into his pockets and continued walking. The night wind was cool against his skin and there was a sense of peacefulness in the air.
He liked being alone. It gave him plenty of time to think and also a lot of things to think about without people interrupting his thoughts. He walked out through the high metal doors of the city and reached the shore line where he and Red were before heading off to bed. He spotted a high rock at the end of the shore line and made his way there. Climbing up the rock with great agility, he plopped down on its smooth surface and looked out at the sea. Its waves were gentle and calm. The ripples looked like tiny fishes on a piece of purple-black silk. The sky complimented the sea with the moonbeams bouncing off the surface and the stars lit up the night sky like tiny little candles of diamonds, twinkling like flitting fireflies. He closed his eyes and transported his thoughts to a place where he would be able to calm and compose himself.
He took out a piece of paper he had in his pocket and started writing.
"I see that the flowers have started to weep.
I see that the rainbow has started to fade.
I see the sky turn from pink to grey.
I see the night as the beginning of eternity,
But there is a light
In the distance.
It glows of tranquility.
I see you standing in the light,
Your face the soft glow of an angel's.
I see your eyes,
A mighty majesty of red and gold.
I feel your warmth on my skin,
As the light gets brighter,
I feel the sweet taste of honey and summer
On my lips as my soul flies away into space and beyond,
Leaving my body on the green meadows of white and pink."
"Why are your meadows white and pink? I thought meadows are green?" he heard a whisper, making him jump. He turned around and saw Tifa. She had on her satin red robe which reflected the moonbeams of her body, making it look sensuous. Her hair was down and hanging in tendrils and she had on a pair of bunny slippers with whiskers protruding from the sides of the rabbits' faces. She had a cheeky look and her face which made her look round and pink.
"Whatcha doin?" she questioned him, speaking in whispers, with a twinkle in her eye.
"Not much. Just writing," he said with a shrug, stuffing the piece of paper in his deep in his pocket. His face felt hot after Tifa found him out, writing a poem. He felt embarrassed. The unexpected arrival of her also made him stand still in shock.
"What are you doing out so late?" he asked her, slowly regaining breath control.
"Nah. It's nothing. Just could not sleep and I heard you leave your room, so I followed you," she chirped, despite the late hours where one would be a walking zombie with dark eyes rings, messy hair and a lifeless attitude.
"I did not know you were a poet. When did you start?" she asked, her eyes growing with curiosity.
Cloud blushed a little. He never knew he could write poetry. He never considered his writings as poetry, just mere words not arranged in proper grammar, using objects or animals as substitutes of feelings that he was feeling. He was quite pleased Tifa appreciated his work and a little flattered. He looked down and scratched his still spiky head and dug his toes in the ground, grinning slightly.
"It's my second, so far. No big deal. They are not very good yet," he mumbled while playing with the pen in his pocket. He felt a little awkward with Tifa. It was an unexplainable feeling he had always felt after the battle at the Northern Cave. It was as if she changed into someone he did not know or he changed into someone she did not know. It was quite confusing and frustrating. He could never bring himself to talk to her about the things they used to talk about before. Exchanging ideas about all sorts of topics ranging from art to battle tactics made them really close friends, almost like brother and sister, but the past was the only memory Cloud had of them being jovial and carefree. He missed the times they spent together. He missed them a lot. He felt that the wall was growing thicker and thicker every minute. One day, the wall would be impenetrable.
Tifa on the other hand, felt that she would not want to get any closer to Cloud than she already is. She preferred the space in between them. There was a time where she was deeply in love with him. But when Aeris came along, he diverted his attention to her instead of Tifa. Tifa tried everything to get his attention and win him back but it only made him treat her like an ordinary friend. Sometimes ordinary friends can become lovers but for their case, it would remain at that level forever. She still loved him but she knew her limits. She would not want to tarnish what she was already left with. A broken-hearted Cloud. She often dreamt that she and Cloud would be an item. She spent most of her time with him. She was always there when he needed moral support. She missed him so much when he was away working for SOLDIER. She cried herself to sleep most of the time, wishing he was there to comfort and console her. She gave him her heart but he never returned.
"Tifa, are you okay?" Cloud asked, concerned. He saw that her eyes were rimmed with signs of tears that sparkled in the night sky. Her lower lip quivered slightly and she had her hand over her heart, clutching it as if she were in pain. She never responded. She just kept looking down at the smooth rock she was standing on. The gentle breeze whipped her hair into tiny swirls, making it look soft and silky like the sea.
Tifa was broken from the bonds of her deep thoughts when she felt Cloud shaking her. The tears that were present in her eyes rolled down her smooth, flawless cheek, spilling on the floor, shattering into a million droplets catching each ray of the moon. She looked deep into Cloud's sapphire, Mako blue eyes and saw the presence of pain. Not the kind of pain that way physical but the pain of losing a loved one. A loved one who took his breath away. A loved one who brought him to tears upon her death. She remembered clearly what Cloud did after Aeris died. She found him in the Chocobo breeding room of the High wind, crouched in a corner holding a small blood covered blade in his hand. She saw a crimson puddle on the floor in front of him.
"Cloud, what are you doing?!" she screamed and ran towards him. When he turned around, he looked pained beyond his years. His eyes were distant and his face was pale. She grabbed his bloodied left arm and saw the deep slash on this skin which ran from the wrist to the elbow. She looked at him and saw his eyes wet with tears. For as long as she knew him, he never cried. No matter how much pain the wound caused, he never cried. But this time, it wasn't the wound. It was Aeris.
"I miss her, Tifa," he whispered, his voice quivering. Tifa stood there helpless not knowing what to do. She had no idea how to comfort him. She was angry and horrified at the sight and thought of what he had done. She thought that he knew better. She helped him up, hoisting his arm across her shoulder and brought him to the bunk room. She sat him down on the bed and went to get the cure materia. She held it above his arm and in a blinding green flash, the wound was healed leaving a scar behind, reminding him of his foolish behavior.
Tifa saw the scar on his arm. The gash was still there, visible even under the moonlight. Tifa looked at him and saw that he wasn't the boy or man she used to know. He had grown up beyond his years. The spark in his eyes was only a dimly lit flame after the years following the defeat of Meteor and the death of Aeris. She wanted to shake him so badly to make him forget whatever happened in the past and hold him, but the past had such a deep impact on everyone's lives that nothing could make them forget every detail of the events. It was apart of them.
"Tifa, are you okay?" she heard Cloud say. She felt something warm grab her face. She looked up and saw herself staring right into his orbs, his palms on her cheeks. He looked concerned.
"Want to talk about it?" he questioned her. She shook her head in silence and sniffed. She turned around slowly and started heading back to the city. She did not want to look back. She did not want to be reminded of the past events. It brought her too much pain.
"Good night, Tifa," Cloud whispered under his breath as he saw her walking away slowly. She was bothered about something. She went all silent when she saw the scar. Cloud lifted his arm and examined it. He felt foolish for doing what he did that day. He did not know how to forgive himself or to even erase the scar from his arm. It was permanent. It was apart of him. He looked up and saw that Tifa was gone.
Tifa made her way through the narrow dimly lit streets of Midgar to the slums. She wanted to get away from Cloud. She needed to get away from him. She went into her room and packed the bare essentials and headed out to Choco Bill's Farm. There was only one place that would calm her nerves down and that was the Forgotten City.
"Not a day goes by,
Without a tear in my eye,
That rolls down my cheek
And makes me high.
The sadness is strong
But the feeling is not shown
Everyday a tear is bred anew,
And follows the same path over,
And over again.
I need you to stop that tear.
I need you to suppress my sadness.
I need you close to my heart,
Where your breath is warm,
And sweet."
-Cloud
"There," said Cloud, finishing up his poem for Aeris. She came to him in his dreams the day before he went to visit her grave. In a curding flash, he got up and wrote down a string of words like pearls from the sacred seas. In his dream, she looked as radiant as ever, her emerald eyes were sparkling like precious gems and her mahogany hair flowing around her body like exotic vines. She had on the same rosy colored dress, and tattered brown boots but she looked as alive as any living being. She looked so real. She was surrounded by a very angelic aura that was welcoming and warm. Cloud felt himself reaching forward. His hand was very close to her supple face when she vanished into thin air leaving him sitting upright on his bed, missing her once again.
After writing his poem, he lay down again and tried to sleep. However, the dream he had was still in the midst of his thoughts that he could not even bring himself to sleep and let the dream vanish. Staying up all night, he could only indulge himself in the songs of the insects in the open fields and the snores of Barrett and Red. He could hear Tifa in talking in her sleep about chipmunks and dwarfs. Getting up, he put on his robe and headed for the door to get some fresh air from the outside world. He stepped out onto the narrow streets and walked slowly to the entrance of the city. The fluorescent lights were out and the city was in total darkness except for a few street lights still burning a dim green under the dark night sky. He dug his hands deep into his pockets and continued walking. The night wind was cool against his skin and there was a sense of peacefulness in the air.
He liked being alone. It gave him plenty of time to think and also a lot of things to think about without people interrupting his thoughts. He walked out through the high metal doors of the city and reached the shore line where he and Red were before heading off to bed. He spotted a high rock at the end of the shore line and made his way there. Climbing up the rock with great agility, he plopped down on its smooth surface and looked out at the sea. Its waves were gentle and calm. The ripples looked like tiny fishes on a piece of purple-black silk. The sky complimented the sea with the moonbeams bouncing off the surface and the stars lit up the night sky like tiny little candles of diamonds, twinkling like flitting fireflies. He closed his eyes and transported his thoughts to a place where he would be able to calm and compose himself.
He took out a piece of paper he had in his pocket and started writing.
"I see that the flowers have started to weep.
I see that the rainbow has started to fade.
I see the sky turn from pink to grey.
I see the night as the beginning of eternity,
But there is a light
In the distance.
It glows of tranquility.
I see you standing in the light,
Your face the soft glow of an angel's.
I see your eyes,
A mighty majesty of red and gold.
I feel your warmth on my skin,
As the light gets brighter,
I feel the sweet taste of honey and summer
On my lips as my soul flies away into space and beyond,
Leaving my body on the green meadows of white and pink."
"Why are your meadows white and pink? I thought meadows are green?" he heard a whisper, making him jump. He turned around and saw Tifa. She had on her satin red robe which reflected the moonbeams of her body, making it look sensuous. Her hair was down and hanging in tendrils and she had on a pair of bunny slippers with whiskers protruding from the sides of the rabbits' faces. She had a cheeky look and her face which made her look round and pink.
"Whatcha doin?" she questioned him, speaking in whispers, with a twinkle in her eye.
"Not much. Just writing," he said with a shrug, stuffing the piece of paper in his deep in his pocket. His face felt hot after Tifa found him out, writing a poem. He felt embarrassed. The unexpected arrival of her also made him stand still in shock.
"What are you doing out so late?" he asked her, slowly regaining breath control.
"Nah. It's nothing. Just could not sleep and I heard you leave your room, so I followed you," she chirped, despite the late hours where one would be a walking zombie with dark eyes rings, messy hair and a lifeless attitude.
"I did not know you were a poet. When did you start?" she asked, her eyes growing with curiosity.
Cloud blushed a little. He never knew he could write poetry. He never considered his writings as poetry, just mere words not arranged in proper grammar, using objects or animals as substitutes of feelings that he was feeling. He was quite pleased Tifa appreciated his work and a little flattered. He looked down and scratched his still spiky head and dug his toes in the ground, grinning slightly.
"It's my second, so far. No big deal. They are not very good yet," he mumbled while playing with the pen in his pocket. He felt a little awkward with Tifa. It was an unexplainable feeling he had always felt after the battle at the Northern Cave. It was as if she changed into someone he did not know or he changed into someone she did not know. It was quite confusing and frustrating. He could never bring himself to talk to her about the things they used to talk about before. Exchanging ideas about all sorts of topics ranging from art to battle tactics made them really close friends, almost like brother and sister, but the past was the only memory Cloud had of them being jovial and carefree. He missed the times they spent together. He missed them a lot. He felt that the wall was growing thicker and thicker every minute. One day, the wall would be impenetrable.
Tifa on the other hand, felt that she would not want to get any closer to Cloud than she already is. She preferred the space in between them. There was a time where she was deeply in love with him. But when Aeris came along, he diverted his attention to her instead of Tifa. Tifa tried everything to get his attention and win him back but it only made him treat her like an ordinary friend. Sometimes ordinary friends can become lovers but for their case, it would remain at that level forever. She still loved him but she knew her limits. She would not want to tarnish what she was already left with. A broken-hearted Cloud. She often dreamt that she and Cloud would be an item. She spent most of her time with him. She was always there when he needed moral support. She missed him so much when he was away working for SOLDIER. She cried herself to sleep most of the time, wishing he was there to comfort and console her. She gave him her heart but he never returned.
"Tifa, are you okay?" Cloud asked, concerned. He saw that her eyes were rimmed with signs of tears that sparkled in the night sky. Her lower lip quivered slightly and she had her hand over her heart, clutching it as if she were in pain. She never responded. She just kept looking down at the smooth rock she was standing on. The gentle breeze whipped her hair into tiny swirls, making it look soft and silky like the sea.
Tifa was broken from the bonds of her deep thoughts when she felt Cloud shaking her. The tears that were present in her eyes rolled down her smooth, flawless cheek, spilling on the floor, shattering into a million droplets catching each ray of the moon. She looked deep into Cloud's sapphire, Mako blue eyes and saw the presence of pain. Not the kind of pain that way physical but the pain of losing a loved one. A loved one who took his breath away. A loved one who brought him to tears upon her death. She remembered clearly what Cloud did after Aeris died. She found him in the Chocobo breeding room of the High wind, crouched in a corner holding a small blood covered blade in his hand. She saw a crimson puddle on the floor in front of him.
"Cloud, what are you doing?!" she screamed and ran towards him. When he turned around, he looked pained beyond his years. His eyes were distant and his face was pale. She grabbed his bloodied left arm and saw the deep slash on this skin which ran from the wrist to the elbow. She looked at him and saw his eyes wet with tears. For as long as she knew him, he never cried. No matter how much pain the wound caused, he never cried. But this time, it wasn't the wound. It was Aeris.
"I miss her, Tifa," he whispered, his voice quivering. Tifa stood there helpless not knowing what to do. She had no idea how to comfort him. She was angry and horrified at the sight and thought of what he had done. She thought that he knew better. She helped him up, hoisting his arm across her shoulder and brought him to the bunk room. She sat him down on the bed and went to get the cure materia. She held it above his arm and in a blinding green flash, the wound was healed leaving a scar behind, reminding him of his foolish behavior.
Tifa saw the scar on his arm. The gash was still there, visible even under the moonlight. Tifa looked at him and saw that he wasn't the boy or man she used to know. He had grown up beyond his years. The spark in his eyes was only a dimly lit flame after the years following the defeat of Meteor and the death of Aeris. She wanted to shake him so badly to make him forget whatever happened in the past and hold him, but the past had such a deep impact on everyone's lives that nothing could make them forget every detail of the events. It was apart of them.
"Tifa, are you okay?" she heard Cloud say. She felt something warm grab her face. She looked up and saw herself staring right into his orbs, his palms on her cheeks. He looked concerned.
"Want to talk about it?" he questioned her. She shook her head in silence and sniffed. She turned around slowly and started heading back to the city. She did not want to look back. She did not want to be reminded of the past events. It brought her too much pain.
"Good night, Tifa," Cloud whispered under his breath as he saw her walking away slowly. She was bothered about something. She went all silent when she saw the scar. Cloud lifted his arm and examined it. He felt foolish for doing what he did that day. He did not know how to forgive himself or to even erase the scar from his arm. It was permanent. It was apart of him. He looked up and saw that Tifa was gone.
Tifa made her way through the narrow dimly lit streets of Midgar to the slums. She wanted to get away from Cloud. She needed to get away from him. She went into her room and packed the bare essentials and headed out to Choco Bill's Farm. There was only one place that would calm her nerves down and that was the Forgotten City.