Disclaimer: I don't own Rurouni Kenshin or any of its characters. ,
Notes: I haven't written an RK fan fiction in ages, and I practically left the fandom about a year ago, right after the second OAV was released in Japan. I have no idea what is going on in the fandom anymore and don't know what have happened with fan fictions since Kenshin was aired on Cartoon Network in USA. This was supposed to be a short Gundam Wing yaoi ficlet, but I changed my mind and it became this instead. 'This' is not exactly what people like to read, but* I* kind of like this piece anyway. I tried to add some depth to Kaoru's character, but ended up giving her a completely new personality. Indulge me, okay? Also, my goal is to write a short ficlet about as many characters from RK as possible before I loose interest.
***
Need – A Ficlet in Kaoru's POV by Maaya
***
He's such a fool. A clumsy, good for nothing idiot who for some reason happens to also be the most famous samurai in eras. A stupid person I manage to fall in love with.
I can say the word easily; love. The problem being; I doubt he'll ever be able to say it.
I'm not delusional – I know he's ashamed of things he has done and I know he has things he haven't managed to leave behind just yet. He will probably never leave behind some of the things.
He is afraid of me. Maybe he is afraid of tainting me with the blood on his hands or maybe he is afraid of getting attached to someone. It is probably both those reasons, but I think the biggest reason is because he's had someone else.
I'm saying this again; I'm not delusional. When I look into his eyes I see longing. I see that he likes me, but the longing is kept there for someone else. I see him drawn to my warmth, but he wishes for something else. Something more akin to himself.
He is two personalities kept in one body, but those personalities are still him - alternate versions of what he is or could be. The dark personality is a reflection of an abused, lonely boy who has lost everything, and the lighter one tells you what he would have become. He is trying to hunt that lighter personality now. I do not know if he will catch it or not but it gives him a goal.
I need him and he needs me. I'm not saying that because I want him to need me – that would be silly – he does need me. It's just that we need each other in different ways.
I want him to be someone strong and steady in my life, where other people disappear he will still stand there with a smile and hand to help me out. I want him to . . . be near me. Just to be near me.
But I can't tell him that – because he doesn't want me to need him. He wants me to be strong and unselfish, warm and brave. Hard-headed and clumsy, stubborn and bad-tempered. He needs me to be independent.
And whereas I need him to remain with me, he will need me to *not* need him.
That is where our souls will not match. We can love each other all we want, but there are still things between us that make it impossible for it to be perfect.
But what is ever perfect?
***
The End
***
Yes, the comment about Kaoru wanting him to 'Just be near her' is deliberately taken from Tomoe's comment about her late fiancé whose name escapes me right now.
C&C is welcome, but I really don't expect it. Ficlets at least *tended* (note past term) to be quite unpopular during the time I really was in the fandom. ,
Notes: I haven't written an RK fan fiction in ages, and I practically left the fandom about a year ago, right after the second OAV was released in Japan. I have no idea what is going on in the fandom anymore and don't know what have happened with fan fictions since Kenshin was aired on Cartoon Network in USA. This was supposed to be a short Gundam Wing yaoi ficlet, but I changed my mind and it became this instead. 'This' is not exactly what people like to read, but* I* kind of like this piece anyway. I tried to add some depth to Kaoru's character, but ended up giving her a completely new personality. Indulge me, okay? Also, my goal is to write a short ficlet about as many characters from RK as possible before I loose interest.
***
Need – A Ficlet in Kaoru's POV by Maaya
***
He's such a fool. A clumsy, good for nothing idiot who for some reason happens to also be the most famous samurai in eras. A stupid person I manage to fall in love with.
I can say the word easily; love. The problem being; I doubt he'll ever be able to say it.
I'm not delusional – I know he's ashamed of things he has done and I know he has things he haven't managed to leave behind just yet. He will probably never leave behind some of the things.
He is afraid of me. Maybe he is afraid of tainting me with the blood on his hands or maybe he is afraid of getting attached to someone. It is probably both those reasons, but I think the biggest reason is because he's had someone else.
I'm saying this again; I'm not delusional. When I look into his eyes I see longing. I see that he likes me, but the longing is kept there for someone else. I see him drawn to my warmth, but he wishes for something else. Something more akin to himself.
He is two personalities kept in one body, but those personalities are still him - alternate versions of what he is or could be. The dark personality is a reflection of an abused, lonely boy who has lost everything, and the lighter one tells you what he would have become. He is trying to hunt that lighter personality now. I do not know if he will catch it or not but it gives him a goal.
I need him and he needs me. I'm not saying that because I want him to need me – that would be silly – he does need me. It's just that we need each other in different ways.
I want him to be someone strong and steady in my life, where other people disappear he will still stand there with a smile and hand to help me out. I want him to . . . be near me. Just to be near me.
But I can't tell him that – because he doesn't want me to need him. He wants me to be strong and unselfish, warm and brave. Hard-headed and clumsy, stubborn and bad-tempered. He needs me to be independent.
And whereas I need him to remain with me, he will need me to *not* need him.
That is where our souls will not match. We can love each other all we want, but there are still things between us that make it impossible for it to be perfect.
But what is ever perfect?
***
The End
***
Yes, the comment about Kaoru wanting him to 'Just be near her' is deliberately taken from Tomoe's comment about her late fiancé whose name escapes me right now.
C&C is welcome, but I really don't expect it. Ficlets at least *tended* (note past term) to be quite unpopular during the time I really was in the fandom. ,