# # # # #
Keeping true to her previous routine, Sam stayed by Jack's bedside twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And she did that for two weeks. If you'd asked her the amount of days exactly and the hours, she could have told you - to the minute. Although she hadn't been timing her minutes in the chair, she seemed to have an uncanny ability to know precisely how long it had been since her last break to move from the chair and visit the ladies room. And yet, for all the times she had go and share brief visits with the room, she managed to time them so that she was gone for the minimal amount of time. No matter how times she went, she went for the barest time.
Stayed gone only for as long as she had to. Just to get there and come back. No longer. For all her life she felt as though she spent more time there than in the chair next to the hospital bed, but she was mistaken. Her time was well spent in that chair. Her days and nights, spent by his side. His face watched by her eyes for the time they were open. She didn't realise just how much she slept in that chair, but when the nights came - and even sometimes during in the days - sleep would find her and close her eyes, allowing her some time to dream. Dream of what could have been. What could be. What should have been. So many things that she wished for in her dreams - and yet when she awoke, it was to the same picture she saw while her eyes were open. The one of a man - the one she loved so much - laying before her within the confines of a hospital bed. White sheets surrounding his injured body - of bruises and abrasions.
His eyes; always closed. His lips; unmoving and colourless. His skin; so pale. His general appearance; so depressing. Such a change from his usual outlook and expressions. Sam felt tears welling in her eyes as she thought of all the wonderful things and times they had had together. So many laughs they'd shared, and tears she'd cried. Things that had happened to them in the past - things that neither of them would or could ever forget. Times they had helped each other through hard times or saved the other's life. Not only a life, but times they had saved the world together - oblivious as the world was to their heroism. Most people hadn't and couldn't possibly go through half of the things they had, and yet that didn't seem to matter. After everything they had done together and the situations they had managed to escape death in - this one thing could be the downfall of one of them.
The one Sam least expected it to happen to. If anyone got hurt on any missions, she would have most assumed it to have been Daniel. Although that may have sounded like a cutting remark on his part, Sam was sure he would have agreed he was the most likely candidate for injury out of all of them. Least of all Jack. Least. Sam's eyes threatened to make the tears fall as she thought, and crying was the last thing on her mind. Resting her head and folding her arms around it on the bed beside her, slowly she closed her eyes and sleep found her.
# # # # #
Many hours later, and eyes were opening. But not that of Sam's. Pain made itself known and crept into the picture to make for some difficulty in the task of slightly moving to see Sam sleeping on the side of the bed. Then another person's pair of eyes opened, and with a yawn stretched their arms above their head. Bringing her fingers to rub her eyes, she once again focused them on the occupant of the bed in front of her. To her surprise, a penetrating pair of brown eyes were looking back at her.
It took her a moment to register just what was going on, but once clear in her head what she was looking at, she found her voice.
"Oh.thank you,"
was all the words Sam could find as she kissed his cheek softly.
"What took you so long.I was so worried,"
she said with a small smile. Those tears from the days before found her eyes again and trailed down her face as she smiled in delight. She couldn't help breathing heavily in her joy as she looked into the eyes she hadn't seen in so long.
"Oh.I don't know what to say, I'm.I'm so, so.God, I don't know what I'm trying to say. You don't know how much I've missed you."
"I'm."
"Shh, just let me say some things. I'm so sorry I left you. It wasn't you that I wanted to leave. I couldn't stand you taking the blame for something that wasn't your fault. It was our fault, and the General just didn't think about it.he blamed you for everything, and all the things he said that you were, that wasn't true. You're not irresponsible or any of the other things he said. I yelled at him so much after you left. I've missed you so much since I went. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I never stopped thinking about you. And then when Daniel called me and said what happened.I would never have forgiven myself if.well, you know what I mean. I just wouldn't have been able to forgive myself for leaving you. God, I've missed you. I love you Jack. You know that right?' Caus if you don't know it, I'm telling you now, I do. I love you so much. I always have, and I always will. I'm seven months pregnant with our baby. This is our baby, and I couldn't go on without you. Not on my own. I just couldn't,"
Sam explained. Words eluded the both of them for a moment, until Dr. Fraiser found her patient was awake and came over to investigate.
"Well hello stranger,"
she said cheerfully,
"glad you decided to join us in the land of the living.you had us worried there for a while Colonel. Thought we'd lost you. Well, had to prove us wrong as usual didn't you? For once, I have to say, I'm very glad you did, and I know someone else here is just as glad - if not more - as me to see you awake. Well, I'll leave you two alone for now, but I'll be back later to check you over Colonel. See ya,"
Janet smiled as she left and closed the door to her office.
"She's right you know.we were all really scared there for a while,"
Sam said softly.
"Why? What happened?"
His words were quiet and his voice not quite clear and a bit hoarse.
"Oh, your Life Support System was going to be turned off. It actually was, but you made it through. You made it Jack.you're going to be ok. You'll get better, and you and me will take care of this baby together."
"How are you Sam? Has it been hard?"
"A little.but I haven't suffered with morning sickness or anything like that. And that has made it a lot easier. Would have been ten times better if you had been there to share it with me though."
"I'm sorry for everything that's happened Sam. I know what you're going to say, but just hear me out. I don't really know what you've been through, I can't imagine. But I do know that if my stupidity hadn't got in my way, none of this would be happening. And for that much, I can be sorry and apologise. I feel bad for what you've gone through. I think you already know that though. How long have I been out of it? How long have you been here?"
"You were apparently gone for about six months before I got here. I really don't know how long it's been though," she replied.
"What month is it?" he asked.
"March."
"Whoa.so it's been like.seven months. It feels like yesterday."
"You've been gone a long time Jack. It's been really hard."
"I'm sorry."
# # # # #
Keeping true to her previous routine, Sam stayed by Jack's bedside twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week. And she did that for two weeks. If you'd asked her the amount of days exactly and the hours, she could have told you - to the minute. Although she hadn't been timing her minutes in the chair, she seemed to have an uncanny ability to know precisely how long it had been since her last break to move from the chair and visit the ladies room. And yet, for all the times she had go and share brief visits with the room, she managed to time them so that she was gone for the minimal amount of time. No matter how times she went, she went for the barest time.
Stayed gone only for as long as she had to. Just to get there and come back. No longer. For all her life she felt as though she spent more time there than in the chair next to the hospital bed, but she was mistaken. Her time was well spent in that chair. Her days and nights, spent by his side. His face watched by her eyes for the time they were open. She didn't realise just how much she slept in that chair, but when the nights came - and even sometimes during in the days - sleep would find her and close her eyes, allowing her some time to dream. Dream of what could have been. What could be. What should have been. So many things that she wished for in her dreams - and yet when she awoke, it was to the same picture she saw while her eyes were open. The one of a man - the one she loved so much - laying before her within the confines of a hospital bed. White sheets surrounding his injured body - of bruises and abrasions.
His eyes; always closed. His lips; unmoving and colourless. His skin; so pale. His general appearance; so depressing. Such a change from his usual outlook and expressions. Sam felt tears welling in her eyes as she thought of all the wonderful things and times they had had together. So many laughs they'd shared, and tears she'd cried. Things that had happened to them in the past - things that neither of them would or could ever forget. Times they had helped each other through hard times or saved the other's life. Not only a life, but times they had saved the world together - oblivious as the world was to their heroism. Most people hadn't and couldn't possibly go through half of the things they had, and yet that didn't seem to matter. After everything they had done together and the situations they had managed to escape death in - this one thing could be the downfall of one of them.
The one Sam least expected it to happen to. If anyone got hurt on any missions, she would have most assumed it to have been Daniel. Although that may have sounded like a cutting remark on his part, Sam was sure he would have agreed he was the most likely candidate for injury out of all of them. Least of all Jack. Least. Sam's eyes threatened to make the tears fall as she thought, and crying was the last thing on her mind. Resting her head and folding her arms around it on the bed beside her, slowly she closed her eyes and sleep found her.
# # # # #
Many hours later, and eyes were opening. But not that of Sam's. Pain made itself known and crept into the picture to make for some difficulty in the task of slightly moving to see Sam sleeping on the side of the bed. Then another person's pair of eyes opened, and with a yawn stretched their arms above their head. Bringing her fingers to rub her eyes, she once again focused them on the occupant of the bed in front of her. To her surprise, a penetrating pair of brown eyes were looking back at her.
It took her a moment to register just what was going on, but once clear in her head what she was looking at, she found her voice.
"Oh.thank you,"
was all the words Sam could find as she kissed his cheek softly.
"What took you so long.I was so worried,"
she said with a small smile. Those tears from the days before found her eyes again and trailed down her face as she smiled in delight. She couldn't help breathing heavily in her joy as she looked into the eyes she hadn't seen in so long.
"Oh.I don't know what to say, I'm.I'm so, so.God, I don't know what I'm trying to say. You don't know how much I've missed you."
"I'm."
"Shh, just let me say some things. I'm so sorry I left you. It wasn't you that I wanted to leave. I couldn't stand you taking the blame for something that wasn't your fault. It was our fault, and the General just didn't think about it.he blamed you for everything, and all the things he said that you were, that wasn't true. You're not irresponsible or any of the other things he said. I yelled at him so much after you left. I've missed you so much since I went. I couldn't stop thinking about you. I never stopped thinking about you. And then when Daniel called me and said what happened.I would never have forgiven myself if.well, you know what I mean. I just wouldn't have been able to forgive myself for leaving you. God, I've missed you. I love you Jack. You know that right?' Caus if you don't know it, I'm telling you now, I do. I love you so much. I always have, and I always will. I'm seven months pregnant with our baby. This is our baby, and I couldn't go on without you. Not on my own. I just couldn't,"
Sam explained. Words eluded the both of them for a moment, until Dr. Fraiser found her patient was awake and came over to investigate.
"Well hello stranger,"
she said cheerfully,
"glad you decided to join us in the land of the living.you had us worried there for a while Colonel. Thought we'd lost you. Well, had to prove us wrong as usual didn't you? For once, I have to say, I'm very glad you did, and I know someone else here is just as glad - if not more - as me to see you awake. Well, I'll leave you two alone for now, but I'll be back later to check you over Colonel. See ya,"
Janet smiled as she left and closed the door to her office.
"She's right you know.we were all really scared there for a while,"
Sam said softly.
"Why? What happened?"
His words were quiet and his voice not quite clear and a bit hoarse.
"Oh, your Life Support System was going to be turned off. It actually was, but you made it through. You made it Jack.you're going to be ok. You'll get better, and you and me will take care of this baby together."
"How are you Sam? Has it been hard?"
"A little.but I haven't suffered with morning sickness or anything like that. And that has made it a lot easier. Would have been ten times better if you had been there to share it with me though."
"I'm sorry for everything that's happened Sam. I know what you're going to say, but just hear me out. I don't really know what you've been through, I can't imagine. But I do know that if my stupidity hadn't got in my way, none of this would be happening. And for that much, I can be sorry and apologise. I feel bad for what you've gone through. I think you already know that though. How long have I been out of it? How long have you been here?"
"You were apparently gone for about six months before I got here. I really don't know how long it's been though," she replied.
"What month is it?" he asked.
"March."
"Whoa.so it's been like.seven months. It feels like yesterday."
"You've been gone a long time Jack. It's been really hard."
"I'm sorry."
# # # # #