TET: Thank you for reading this long! Wow, who'd've thought? Cindydoll's off getting the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone book so we won't miss anything important. Notice how the breadstick thing was the first mention of Draco... ^_^;;
---
McGonagall: I have... Found you a seeker!!!
Wood: ... I already have a seeker.
McGonagall: He's fired.
Wood: But he's only a first year!
McGonagall: So?
Wood: But... But... I can't work under these conditions! I QUIT!!!
McGonagall: 20 points from Gryffindor for each minute you aren't captain.
Wood: Fine. I don't quit.
McGonagall: *smiles evilly* Good. Now, train Harry.
Harry: I can do a great Richard Simmons impression! And one and two and three and four and one and two and three and four and shake those thighs!
Wood: ()_________() Uhmm.... Let's go, Harry...
*they go out to the Quidditch field*
Wood: The point of the game is to catch the little yellow thing while avoiding everything else.
Harry: But I have to wait! I can't do this! I have no breadstick!
Wood: Oh... Let's wait until tomorrow at lunch.
---
Tomorrow at Lunch
---
Hedwig: Hoot! Hoot! (It's not bad enough I'm stuck with Mr. Weirdo, now I have to deliver a breadstick without eating it!)
Harry: Look! It's the owl that Hagrid bought me!
Hedwig: (It's Hedwig! Hedwig!)
Harry: Look! It brought me a breadstick wrapped in newspapers!
Ron: Let's go to the dormitory to open it.
Hedwig: (And... What about me?)
*they leave to go to the dormitory*
Hedwig: (That answers my question.)
---
Dormitory
---
Ron: That's a Nimbread Two-thousand thirty-six point five!
Harry: *gasp*
Ron: That's the best breadstick in the world!
Harry: *Gasp!*
Ron: I'm actually a girl!
Harry: *GASP!!!!!*
Ron: Just kidding.
Harry: *GGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Ron: Err.... Harry...
Harry: Sorry.
Quirrell: Hello, boys.
Harry: Err... Hello, Professor Quirrell... Why are you in the Gryffindor Boy's Dormitories?
Quirrell: Oh? I am? Oh, no! I can't be in here! I'm a girl!
Ron: Err... No.
Quirrell: *giggle* Oh, you're funny, boys! Well, I must rush along now!
Harry: Good bye, Professor Quirrell.
Quirrell: That's Madame Quirrell.
Ron: Uhm... Of course, Madame.
*Quirrell leaves*
Harry: Okay, that was... Just strange. Let's go out and practice.
---
Quidditch Field
---
Wood: Now, Harry, you don't take your medication on the day of a Quidditch Game. Remember that.
Harry: Oh, that's easy, I never take my medication.
Wood: *backs away nervously* Err... Right. Now, look what I have in my hand, but I will eat it if you try to take it.
*opens hand to reveal Snitch*
Harry: *eyes become hearts* Cheese... Angel cheese... With wings...
Wood: Good so far, now... GO GET IT!!! *releases Snitch*
Harry: *runs around like a lunatic, trying to jump up and catch it*
Wood: Use the breadstick, Harry!
Harry: *starts swatting the Snitch with his Nimbread*
Wood: No, fly!
Harry: Oh!!! *throws the breadstick aside and tries to fly* I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT!!!
Wood: No, no, HARRY!!! STOP IT!!!
Harry: *stops*
Wood: Get on your breadstick, Harry.
Harry: *gets on the breadstick*
Wood: Now, kick off.
Harry: *kicks off*
Wood: Now, fly the breadstick towards the angel cheese.
Harry: I understand! *starts flying towards the Snitch*
Wood: Well, now. That took a while.
Harry: *catches the Snitch and lands*
Wood: Good, Harry!
Harry: *begins eating the Snitch*
Wood: NO! HARRY! DON'T EAT THE SNITCH!!! *takes the Snitch from Harry*
Harry: *starts crying* Angel cheese... I want my angel cheese...
Wood: Luckily... *pulls a slice of cheese from his knapsack and tosses it to Harry* I was forewarned by Professor McGonagall.
Harry: CHEESE!!! *eats cheese*
---
Halloween: Two Months into Hogwarts
---
Hermione: Oh, Professor Snape is so pretty and handsome and gorgeous... Oh... So pretty... *heart eyes*
Snape: *turns to Harry* Mr. Potter, I still hate you. You did this to me. I don't know how, but you did it. *stalks away, followed by a mob of giggling girls and Hermione*
Snape: No, Miss Granger. I don't want another fangirl.
Hermione: *starts crying* But- but I love you, Professor! *runs off crying*
Harry: Oh-kay... Right. Now, Ron, look at Quirrell!
Quirrell: *is wearing a blue sparkly dress, and a matching turban, and shoes, and scarf* Everyone! Help me! There is a troll in the dungeon! My weak feminine body cannot handle this stress! *falls over*
Students: *PANIC* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: We must stop the troll!
Ron: You're insane... Let's do it!
---
Over near the Girl's Bathroom
---
Troll: Urgh... Urgh...
Harry: There it is! *points*
Ron: Eeep...
Troll: Urgh... *goes into the girl's bathroom*
Hermione: *sniff* No one likes me... *sob* I hate my life...
Myrtle: Now you know how I feel, honey. There's nothing to live for. Everyone hates me, too.
Troll: Urgh... (Look! A little girl! Maybe if I hold her ransom, I'll finally get a role in the next book!)
Harry: I must kill the troll!
Ron: Hey, it's Hermione! Hermione! Over here!
Myrtle: What about me?
Ron: Err... *ignores Myrtle* Hermione, quickly!
Harry: What do I do?! We haven't learned any charms this year!
Ron: I dunno!
Hermione: ... Idiots. Wingardium Leviosa!!!
Troll: *gets bonked on head by own club and falls unconcious*
Harry: Yay! I did it!
Hermione: -.-;; You did it?
Ron: Yep, I saw it with my own eyes!
Hermione: -_____-;;;;; Really now?
Harry: This calls for a celebration!!! Aaaaaaand......
Hermione: What?
Ron: o___o
Harry: One and two and one and two and one and two!!!
Hermione: Does *heart eyes* Snape do this?
Harry: I dunno!
Hermione: *shrugs* Close enough. Two and one and two and one and two!!!
Ron: ()______________() .o0(Why me?)
-----
TET: Well, wasn't that fun?... Oh, a disclaimer. Right.
Nothing here is owned by me
Nothing here is owned by thee
If anything here were owned by me
I wouldn't be writing this, you agree
TET: *bows* That _was_ all mine, by the way. And Cindydoll left halfway through this, so I wrote the rest ^.^;;
---
McGonagall: I have... Found you a seeker!!!
Wood: ... I already have a seeker.
McGonagall: He's fired.
Wood: But he's only a first year!
McGonagall: So?
Wood: But... But... I can't work under these conditions! I QUIT!!!
McGonagall: 20 points from Gryffindor for each minute you aren't captain.
Wood: Fine. I don't quit.
McGonagall: *smiles evilly* Good. Now, train Harry.
Harry: I can do a great Richard Simmons impression! And one and two and three and four and one and two and three and four and shake those thighs!
Wood: ()_________() Uhmm.... Let's go, Harry...
*they go out to the Quidditch field*
Wood: The point of the game is to catch the little yellow thing while avoiding everything else.
Harry: But I have to wait! I can't do this! I have no breadstick!
Wood: Oh... Let's wait until tomorrow at lunch.
---
Tomorrow at Lunch
---
Hedwig: Hoot! Hoot! (It's not bad enough I'm stuck with Mr. Weirdo, now I have to deliver a breadstick without eating it!)
Harry: Look! It's the owl that Hagrid bought me!
Hedwig: (It's Hedwig! Hedwig!)
Harry: Look! It brought me a breadstick wrapped in newspapers!
Ron: Let's go to the dormitory to open it.
Hedwig: (And... What about me?)
*they leave to go to the dormitory*
Hedwig: (That answers my question.)
---
Dormitory
---
Ron: That's a Nimbread Two-thousand thirty-six point five!
Harry: *gasp*
Ron: That's the best breadstick in the world!
Harry: *Gasp!*
Ron: I'm actually a girl!
Harry: *GASP!!!!!*
Ron: Just kidding.
Harry: *GGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!*
Ron: Err.... Harry...
Harry: Sorry.
Quirrell: Hello, boys.
Harry: Err... Hello, Professor Quirrell... Why are you in the Gryffindor Boy's Dormitories?
Quirrell: Oh? I am? Oh, no! I can't be in here! I'm a girl!
Ron: Err... No.
Quirrell: *giggle* Oh, you're funny, boys! Well, I must rush along now!
Harry: Good bye, Professor Quirrell.
Quirrell: That's Madame Quirrell.
Ron: Uhm... Of course, Madame.
*Quirrell leaves*
Harry: Okay, that was... Just strange. Let's go out and practice.
---
Quidditch Field
---
Wood: Now, Harry, you don't take your medication on the day of a Quidditch Game. Remember that.
Harry: Oh, that's easy, I never take my medication.
Wood: *backs away nervously* Err... Right. Now, look what I have in my hand, but I will eat it if you try to take it.
*opens hand to reveal Snitch*
Harry: *eyes become hearts* Cheese... Angel cheese... With wings...
Wood: Good so far, now... GO GET IT!!! *releases Snitch*
Harry: *runs around like a lunatic, trying to jump up and catch it*
Wood: Use the breadstick, Harry!
Harry: *starts swatting the Snitch with his Nimbread*
Wood: No, fly!
Harry: Oh!!! *throws the breadstick aside and tries to fly* I CAN DO IT! I CAN DO IT!!!
Wood: No, no, HARRY!!! STOP IT!!!
Harry: *stops*
Wood: Get on your breadstick, Harry.
Harry: *gets on the breadstick*
Wood: Now, kick off.
Harry: *kicks off*
Wood: Now, fly the breadstick towards the angel cheese.
Harry: I understand! *starts flying towards the Snitch*
Wood: Well, now. That took a while.
Harry: *catches the Snitch and lands*
Wood: Good, Harry!
Harry: *begins eating the Snitch*
Wood: NO! HARRY! DON'T EAT THE SNITCH!!! *takes the Snitch from Harry*
Harry: *starts crying* Angel cheese... I want my angel cheese...
Wood: Luckily... *pulls a slice of cheese from his knapsack and tosses it to Harry* I was forewarned by Professor McGonagall.
Harry: CHEESE!!! *eats cheese*
---
Halloween: Two Months into Hogwarts
---
Hermione: Oh, Professor Snape is so pretty and handsome and gorgeous... Oh... So pretty... *heart eyes*
Snape: *turns to Harry* Mr. Potter, I still hate you. You did this to me. I don't know how, but you did it. *stalks away, followed by a mob of giggling girls and Hermione*
Snape: No, Miss Granger. I don't want another fangirl.
Hermione: *starts crying* But- but I love you, Professor! *runs off crying*
Harry: Oh-kay... Right. Now, Ron, look at Quirrell!
Quirrell: *is wearing a blue sparkly dress, and a matching turban, and shoes, and scarf* Everyone! Help me! There is a troll in the dungeon! My weak feminine body cannot handle this stress! *falls over*
Students: *PANIC* AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Harry: We must stop the troll!
Ron: You're insane... Let's do it!
---
Over near the Girl's Bathroom
---
Troll: Urgh... Urgh...
Harry: There it is! *points*
Ron: Eeep...
Troll: Urgh... *goes into the girl's bathroom*
Hermione: *sniff* No one likes me... *sob* I hate my life...
Myrtle: Now you know how I feel, honey. There's nothing to live for. Everyone hates me, too.
Troll: Urgh... (Look! A little girl! Maybe if I hold her ransom, I'll finally get a role in the next book!)
Harry: I must kill the troll!
Ron: Hey, it's Hermione! Hermione! Over here!
Myrtle: What about me?
Ron: Err... *ignores Myrtle* Hermione, quickly!
Harry: What do I do?! We haven't learned any charms this year!
Ron: I dunno!
Hermione: ... Idiots. Wingardium Leviosa!!!
Troll: *gets bonked on head by own club and falls unconcious*
Harry: Yay! I did it!
Hermione: -.-;; You did it?
Ron: Yep, I saw it with my own eyes!
Hermione: -_____-;;;;; Really now?
Harry: This calls for a celebration!!! Aaaaaaand......
Hermione: What?
Ron: o___o
Harry: One and two and one and two and one and two!!!
Hermione: Does *heart eyes* Snape do this?
Harry: I dunno!
Hermione: *shrugs* Close enough. Two and one and two and one and two!!!
Ron: ()______________() .o0(Why me?)
-----
TET: Well, wasn't that fun?... Oh, a disclaimer. Right.
Nothing here is owned by me
Nothing here is owned by thee
If anything here were owned by me
I wouldn't be writing this, you agree
TET: *bows* That _was_ all mine, by the way. And Cindydoll left halfway through this, so I wrote the rest ^.^;;