It was a strange feeling. Sadness didn't describe it. Imagine standing on solid ground, on a warm day, surrounded by just everything that makes you happy, and suddenly the ground under you giving in and you have nothing left to hold on to, nothing concrete to feel, every happy feeling rushing away from you. Like being right next to a Dementor, but worse. Like being desperate for any little bit of happiness, but it doesn't come. Like floating in mid-air in the middle of nowhere, knowing you will soon fall down, and worse, knowing you won't care when you do just so the pain would end.
That's how Harry felt as he saw Sirius fall through the veil. He kept reliving the moment in his dreams now, the quick fall that seemed to last for an eternity. He still had the same feeling of shock, denial and complete desperation. The moment his heart seemed to sink down to his feet and his soul struggling to jump out of his body after his godfather, but failing when Lupin held him back.
It's been months since the end of last year in Hogwarts, but every night, every second Harry spent alone, the memory of Sirius brought back everything. It might have as well been a few days, Harry didn't know. Time was never definite to him anymore. It felt like he was dreaming. The world went on as it was but Harry watched it from the side, and the way everyone was so normal was strange to him. Nothing felt familiar; nothing raised any happiness within him anymore. He was simply detached from the rest of the world.
Even the constant exchange of letters with his friends didn't make Harry feel better. He pretended he was ok, not wanting them to question him more about Sirius. Any time he spent with them felt forced as Harry felt closed off from his very best friends, pasting the smile on his face just so they wouldn't ask if he was all right…
It was almost time to go. This summer at the Dursleys' wasn't nearly as much of a grudge as ever before. Whether it was because of his friends' threats, or because Harry simply didn't care any more, he did not know. However he knew that in two days he was to return to Hogwarts and hiding his state from his friends was no longer possible.
Sighing heavily, Harry got up from his bed and went to pack up a few things. He was going to stay at the Burrow for the last day before their return to Hogwarts. He packed quickly since he barely unpacked in the first place. Ron was supposed to come pick him up in the evening. They would tell the Dursleys that they're going by car but in fact they would travel using Ms. Figg's fireplace.
A broken mirror was lying in pieces on top of Harry's table. It was the gift from Sirius, and though Harry had broken it out of rage that it wouldn't work, he had to keep it. All attempts to repair it so far had proven useless but Harry was hoping Hermione would find a way to fix it. He gently swept up all the pieces again and put them in a bag. Now he was ready.
Checking the clock, Harry saw that he still had a few hours until Ron's arrival and he lay back on his bed, his thoughts returning to Sirius.
Ok, well I read Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix just a little while ago and Sirius's death is just devastating. He's my favorite character and I miss him already. The fanfics on this site help a lot. The first day after reading the book, I spent the whole time reading stories about Sirius's death. They're very helpful though I cried quite a lot then. Anyway, I write Friends fics originally, though I deleted them and am reposting now… I put those on hold for now because I can't seem to write about anything other than Harry and Sirius. This is one of at least two stories I am planning to write before getting back to updating Friends. This will be a longer, novel or series type story, and the other one is just a about one-chapter story, just focusing on Harry and Sirius's feelings. Ok, so please review, and notice that this is my first ever attempt at HP stories.
By the way, I don't own the idea or most of the characters because JKR owns them. My idea of the veil and maybe a few characters will be my own though. Don't sue me…
And if you got Sirius fics, mostly sad ones, tell me please, I can never get enough of them right now. Ok so, did you like the first chapter, I know it's little but…