The Magical and Hopeless
(A/N yes I did get the title from the young and hopeless.
this is more of a stupid fic...lol. But still funny. I got some
quotes from http://www.angelfire.com/magic/lovefools/unlikelythings.htm
which is a site for things that an HP character would be VERRRY
unlinkely to say. So..read it!)
Scene 1
Gryffindor Common Room
/Hermione is in the common room, singing and dancing in a new set of dress robes. Harry and Ron enter the scene/
Hermione: I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
Harry: Hermione's off her rocker!
**Ron nods and stares fondly at her**
Harry: Ron?
Ron: Shut up.
Harry: Wha--
**Ron walks over to Hermione, grabbs her, and kisses her fierely(haha i got that from sims)**
**Harry exits scene**
Scene 2
Potions Class
/Snape walks in twirling his hair around his finger/
Snape: I love what these Herbal Essascences to for my hair! Don't you, Harry?
Harry: Er...
Snape: Oh, you're such a clever lad. Here, have a cookie.
**Hands Harry a cookie**
Snape: Today, we shall be concocting Herbal Essescences Shampoo. So class tell me why do we need the blood of a venomous spider used in the shampoo?Anyone?? I'll give some extra points!...Granger?
Hermione: ....hmm...i dont know....
Snape: That's ok. Yes, Goyle?
Goyle: *gives the correct answer*
Snape: WRONG! Ten points from Slytherin! Draco...I really admire your pretty hair.
Draco: Why, thank you sir! Everyone in this class can be as pretty as me, with Herbal Essensces hair color.
Scene 3
Great Hall
/Harry, Ron, and Hermion sit down beside Fred and George/
Fred: Y'know, I think we should drop the Joke Shop idea and become ZOO KEEPERS!
George: What do you think Harry?
Harry: Erm...
Hermione: It's a great idea, Fred.
**Flutters eyelashes and smiles**
Fred: You think so?
Hermione: Oh definatley.
Fred: Hmm..what do you say George?
George: Oh yes, let's.
Fred: Alright. You(points to hermione). 10 'o clock. My dorm. You(points to Ron). My dorm. 11 o' clock. Bring a friend.
Hermione: Shall I bring some whipped creme?
Fred: Might as well...and bring some cherries too.
Scene 4
Slytherin Common Room
Crabbe: Pardon me, Gregory, but I do believe I need help with my Arithmancy homework: Do you know the sine for 64 degrees?
Goyle: Of course I do, Vincent. It's 0.898794, but its estimated to seven digits, of course. Incidentally, can you tell me what's the square route for 561.78?
Crabbe: Undoubtedly. It's 23.7019, estimated to six digits. Thank you, Gregory.
Goyle: Thank you, it was my pleasure. Shall we discuss Freud now?
Crabbe: No...here comes Draco. Stupid face!
**Both make stupid faces**
Draco: Guess what? I screwed the HOTTEST mudblood last night!
Crabbe: Who?
Draco: Granger!
Scene 5
Final battle with Voldemort
Voldemort: Did Sirius ever tell you about your father, Harry?
Harry: He told me you killed him!!!
Voldemort: I am your father, Harry.
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! [Looking very angsty indeed and making
an ugly face]
/Ron and Hermione enter scene/
Hermione: It's Voldemort!
Voldemort: NOBODY MOVE! I DROPPED MY CONTACTS!
**Drops to the ground and searches franticaly**
/Dumbledore enters scene with McGonagall/
Dumbledore (waving a bloodstained chainsaw and laughing insanely) Die, Voldemort, DIE, DIE! MWAHHAHAHAHA!
**Kills Voldemort**
Harry: You da man, Dumbledore!
Dumbledore: Foshizzle, mah nizzle!
McGonagall: Word.
Scene 6
Entrance Hall
/Malfoy and Ron are all alone(no nothing happens you perverts)/
Ron: Here's your teddy Bear, Draco - I searched high and low for him,
and managed to salvage it from the Death Eaters' headquarters after
Hermione defeated Voldemort with the Karaoke spell.
Draco: Oh thank you! Thank you, Weasel...er... I mean Weasley.
Thank you! Thank you for saving Pookie. Oh Pookie, I've missed you
so! I thought I'd never see you again!
Ron: Wanna see my tatoo?
**happy reunion**
/Harry enters scene/
Harry: Dude! You got a tattoo!
Ron: So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Malfoy: Oh shut up.
Scene 7
Malfoy Mansion
/Hermione and Draco are arguing/
Draco: I hate purebloods!
Hermione: I hate mudbloods!
Lucius: I LOVE MUDBLOODS!
Draco and Hermione: OH SHUT UP!
Draco: Aw, you know I'm really just a Mudblood at heart!
**FADES TO BLACK**
Lol. Yes it was retarded. So sue me. I'm really hyper right now so UH.
(A/N yes I did get the title from the young and hopeless.
this is more of a stupid fic...lol. But still funny. I got some
quotes from http://www.angelfire.com/magic/lovefools/unlikelythings.htm
which is a site for things that an HP character would be VERRRY
unlinkely to say. So..read it!)
Scene 1
Gryffindor Common Room
/Hermione is in the common room, singing and dancing in a new set of dress robes. Harry and Ron enter the scene/
Hermione: I feel pretty, oh so pretty!
Harry: Hermione's off her rocker!
**Ron nods and stares fondly at her**
Harry: Ron?
Ron: Shut up.
Harry: Wha--
**Ron walks over to Hermione, grabbs her, and kisses her fierely(haha i got that from sims)**
**Harry exits scene**
Scene 2
Potions Class
/Snape walks in twirling his hair around his finger/
Snape: I love what these Herbal Essascences to for my hair! Don't you, Harry?
Harry: Er...
Snape: Oh, you're such a clever lad. Here, have a cookie.
**Hands Harry a cookie**
Snape: Today, we shall be concocting Herbal Essescences Shampoo. So class tell me why do we need the blood of a venomous spider used in the shampoo?Anyone?? I'll give some extra points!...Granger?
Hermione: ....hmm...i dont know....
Snape: That's ok. Yes, Goyle?
Goyle: *gives the correct answer*
Snape: WRONG! Ten points from Slytherin! Draco...I really admire your pretty hair.
Draco: Why, thank you sir! Everyone in this class can be as pretty as me, with Herbal Essensces hair color.
Scene 3
Great Hall
/Harry, Ron, and Hermion sit down beside Fred and George/
Fred: Y'know, I think we should drop the Joke Shop idea and become ZOO KEEPERS!
George: What do you think Harry?
Harry: Erm...
Hermione: It's a great idea, Fred.
**Flutters eyelashes and smiles**
Fred: You think so?
Hermione: Oh definatley.
Fred: Hmm..what do you say George?
George: Oh yes, let's.
Fred: Alright. You(points to hermione). 10 'o clock. My dorm. You(points to Ron). My dorm. 11 o' clock. Bring a friend.
Hermione: Shall I bring some whipped creme?
Fred: Might as well...and bring some cherries too.
Scene 4
Slytherin Common Room
Crabbe: Pardon me, Gregory, but I do believe I need help with my Arithmancy homework: Do you know the sine for 64 degrees?
Goyle: Of course I do, Vincent. It's 0.898794, but its estimated to seven digits, of course. Incidentally, can you tell me what's the square route for 561.78?
Crabbe: Undoubtedly. It's 23.7019, estimated to six digits. Thank you, Gregory.
Goyle: Thank you, it was my pleasure. Shall we discuss Freud now?
Crabbe: No...here comes Draco. Stupid face!
**Both make stupid faces**
Draco: Guess what? I screwed the HOTTEST mudblood last night!
Crabbe: Who?
Draco: Granger!
Scene 5
Final battle with Voldemort
Voldemort: Did Sirius ever tell you about your father, Harry?
Harry: He told me you killed him!!!
Voldemort: I am your father, Harry.
Harry: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!! [Looking very angsty indeed and making
an ugly face]
/Ron and Hermione enter scene/
Hermione: It's Voldemort!
Voldemort: NOBODY MOVE! I DROPPED MY CONTACTS!
**Drops to the ground and searches franticaly**
/Dumbledore enters scene with McGonagall/
Dumbledore (waving a bloodstained chainsaw and laughing insanely) Die, Voldemort, DIE, DIE! MWAHHAHAHAHA!
**Kills Voldemort**
Harry: You da man, Dumbledore!
Dumbledore: Foshizzle, mah nizzle!
McGonagall: Word.
Scene 6
Entrance Hall
/Malfoy and Ron are all alone(no nothing happens you perverts)/
Ron: Here's your teddy Bear, Draco - I searched high and low for him,
and managed to salvage it from the Death Eaters' headquarters after
Hermione defeated Voldemort with the Karaoke spell.
Draco: Oh thank you! Thank you, Weasel...er... I mean Weasley.
Thank you! Thank you for saving Pookie. Oh Pookie, I've missed you
so! I thought I'd never see you again!
Ron: Wanna see my tatoo?
**happy reunion**
/Harry enters scene/
Harry: Dude! You got a tattoo!
Ron: So do you, dude! Dude, what does my tattoo say?
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Harry: "Sweet!" What about mine?
Ron: "Dude!" What does mine say?
Malfoy: Oh shut up.
Scene 7
Malfoy Mansion
/Hermione and Draco are arguing/
Draco: I hate purebloods!
Hermione: I hate mudbloods!
Lucius: I LOVE MUDBLOODS!
Draco and Hermione: OH SHUT UP!
Draco: Aw, you know I'm really just a Mudblood at heart!
**FADES TO BLACK**
Lol. Yes it was retarded. So sue me. I'm really hyper right now so UH.