A/N: Yeah..give me a break..I'll try harder okay? It's just that school is goin and the policy of piles of hw ain't really helping!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A..b-baby?" Her voice crackled quietly. His hair swayed from his slight nod. She turned her head away in disbelieve. Could she truly go through that again? She closed her eyes and let out a chuckle. "Really Sanosuke, you and a baby? How-" "I'm serious." She squeezed her eyes tighter while under his gaze.
It wasn't that she didn't think he could handle it, but still..He'd have to change his lifestyle. And she'd.. She shivered and held her head low. 'I don't think..a baby?' She shoke her head from disbelive again. Maybe he was joking, just some gag or something.
She put on a smile and rose her head only to be greeted with the same seriousness as before. Her smile faltered and she let her head drop again. Maybe not. "Megumi, I can handle the reposnsibilities, I can be a good fa-" "Can you?" She cut him off. "What?" He said as his eyes lowered.
"Can you really assure me that you can be a father? Can you promise me that you will not regret that of the life which you would help create? Sanosuke..can you assure me that you won't just up and leave without any notice?" Sanosuke tensed slightly by her reply.
His eyes searched hers for some sort of answer, but of course he found none. He brushed his hair back and closed his eyes to escape her. She had been like this after they left the resturant. Or more like after she ran out and he sped after her. He couldn't lie, it wouldn't have been fair to either of them.
They stood in silence, but it was broken by Megumi's sandals tapping lightly against the road. Sanosuke turned around and caught Megumi's shadow. He wrapped his arms around her and let his head drop onto her shoulder. "Megumi, I can assure you everything, but I cannot promise. My promises have a reputation of bein broken-"
"Then you have answered your own question." Megumi cut in as she slapped his arms away, "Good night Sanosuke.." She let her head drop and disappeared into the darkness. Sanosuke stepped forward to run after her, but decided against it. Apparently there was more to it then broken promises, alot more.
~~End of flash back~~
That had been a week ago. She had been plagued with those memories and it hurt her even more than it did then. What hurt even more was to see the look on Sano's face when she would brush him off. She hated it and wanted to run and tell him everything, but something inside her, maybe her pride, wouldn't let her.
She sighed and looked towards the window. Everything was so calm and sunny. So beautiful. So..plentiful. She frowned, she was tired of feeling so weak, she refused to let Kanyruu's words get to her. His words. She felt her hands press on her stomache lightly. She lowered her head and watched as if it were going to sprout under her touch.
She turned her head towards the faint tune of her radio. She stood and floated towards it. The strings of a jazz gutair were being played and another intrusment faded in the background. Maybe a sax or something. She pushed her head back and kneeled down to press her ear to the metal surface of the speakers.
She smiled sadly, all these songs seemed to be sung for her. As if she had been the inspiration. This one reminded her most of something she had experienced many times over. Loss.
Maybe if I wouldn't have told on you
You'd still be here
I don't wanna cry
For the lost pain of those years
What's gone is in the past
But seems my past is now my future
Why oh Why oh Why
Did we have to say goodbye
Before I got to ever see your soul
And I'm still paying with my heart..
~~Flash back..~~
He smiled at her from the doorway. "It always tastes better when it's fierce." He said with a slight lustful tone. He smiled at her growling sneer. With a last swat of flowing blood he exited the room. She jumped up and starting swinging at the metal cage that she had now called her home.
"You sick bastard!" She growled as her fists began to dent the metal. She struck the door one last time and then felt herself slowly sink to the floor. Her breaths counted three mintutes apart and she stared down at her hands. They were bloody from the door, but she was bloody from him.
"Kan.Ry.Uu." She spat as her eyes flared up. She sent her foot colliding to the door as she let out a growl. She frowned as the pain seeped from her foot towards her waist. She stared down at her body. The faint glow of the light underneath the door way swam over the left of her.
With each passing scar she saw,she regained specks of anger. He had finally raped her, after all she had thrown at him in the past. She knew he'd be back now that he found the power to overcome her.Now that she excatly supressed her anger the pains were clear as day. Her back was battered with scratches and fingernail prints enembled in her skin.
She just stopped and held her head. She hadn't deserved this, or maybe she did? She had taken the lives of so many and what did she have to show for it? Her never finished Hell tasks of suicides. She felt her self shiver from the angry sobs that chocked in her throat. Maybe she was feeling this pain because she had cause so much of it.
This was her punishment.She threw her head back as a loud cry erupted from her. She held her head and swatted at her tears. She refused to let Kanryuu get to her two times. She'd be strong and keep fighting back and maybe it might save her. She crawled near the fulton, but only crept forward to reach for a slender blue book that was hidden under the mattress.
She winced as her finger brushed against the slightly warm sheets and she turned her head away. She pushed the mattress up slightly and quickly snatched up the book. She inched away from the fulton making sure to put a good distance between herself and Kanyruu's scent.
The small crackle of the seal was heard as her fingers slide between inked pages. She winced in pain as she sat herself against the cold wall beside the faint door light. She held her breath as she inched her knees towards her breast. She finally exhaled and bit her lip to keep from screaming.
One more noise and he might come back and if he found out she kept this then he would more than likely punish her.She picked up the small nub of a pencil and put it in position.
~End of flashback..(for now)~~
Am I really suppose to not be bitter?
Refused myself to let the pain go..
And just cause my heart wants me to remember
I still condem those memories
I think I'll try a suicide, but can't seem to die
This pain, I think I'll drown myself
And maybe,.....just maybe
I can wash away those years?
Oh maybe..maybe
I can wash away those years?
Megumi lifted her head from the desk. She felt the wind shove the cold in her face, as if to make sure she felt her pain seeping out. She shoke as she felt the rough hands of memories pushed down her body underneath her kimono. She moved her hands from her stomach and held her head.
"Stop it!" She yelled angerily. And as she wished, it stopped. Her eyes bolted open as her breathing slowed, and she held her knees. She heard the loud knocks on her door and the soft calling of the fatherly figure in her life.
"I shouldn't have told him..I should have fought harder." She whimpered as she dropped her head, "If only I would have..that feeling to lose her..my baby. Damn you Kanryuu!" She could still remember that night...
She shoke her head and looked up. As much as it hurt, she had to get rid of this guilt. She believed it was her fault, but she shouldn't have to take it out on those around her. That baby that she was denied could become hers again, this time being welcomed by its' father.
She stood and watched the door with hesitation. Sure she could say all this in her mind, but could she go through with it? 'Let me have a chance Megumi, let me love you.' Sanaosuke's voice rang. She smiled slightly and reached over and turned off her radio.
She was ready now and he was all she needed to help her through this. She paced to the door and unlocked it, nearly knocking over the doctor himself. "Oh, Megumi are you alr-" "Yes, sorry, but if you don't mind I must be going." She cut in as she jogged away from him.
He watched the form disappear out the door and stood up. He smiled and shoke his head slightly returning to his line of work. Megumi made it around the corner before slowing her pace down. She saw the small brick of Sano's 'house' and walked towards it with a smile.
Without knowing she quickened her pace and was soon infront of his door. She took a deep breath and then exhaled. This was it, she had her answer. She took out the key from her apron pocket and slide it in the door nob.
After hear the click she pushed it forward. "Sano! We're going to have the.."
~~~~~
Woo..yeah yeah..it wasn't the best ever..so just r and r okay?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"A..b-baby?" Her voice crackled quietly. His hair swayed from his slight nod. She turned her head away in disbelieve. Could she truly go through that again? She closed her eyes and let out a chuckle. "Really Sanosuke, you and a baby? How-" "I'm serious." She squeezed her eyes tighter while under his gaze.
It wasn't that she didn't think he could handle it, but still..He'd have to change his lifestyle. And she'd.. She shivered and held her head low. 'I don't think..a baby?' She shoke her head from disbelive again. Maybe he was joking, just some gag or something.
She put on a smile and rose her head only to be greeted with the same seriousness as before. Her smile faltered and she let her head drop again. Maybe not. "Megumi, I can handle the reposnsibilities, I can be a good fa-" "Can you?" She cut him off. "What?" He said as his eyes lowered.
"Can you really assure me that you can be a father? Can you promise me that you will not regret that of the life which you would help create? Sanosuke..can you assure me that you won't just up and leave without any notice?" Sanosuke tensed slightly by her reply.
His eyes searched hers for some sort of answer, but of course he found none. He brushed his hair back and closed his eyes to escape her. She had been like this after they left the resturant. Or more like after she ran out and he sped after her. He couldn't lie, it wouldn't have been fair to either of them.
They stood in silence, but it was broken by Megumi's sandals tapping lightly against the road. Sanosuke turned around and caught Megumi's shadow. He wrapped his arms around her and let his head drop onto her shoulder. "Megumi, I can assure you everything, but I cannot promise. My promises have a reputation of bein broken-"
"Then you have answered your own question." Megumi cut in as she slapped his arms away, "Good night Sanosuke.." She let her head drop and disappeared into the darkness. Sanosuke stepped forward to run after her, but decided against it. Apparently there was more to it then broken promises, alot more.
~~End of flash back~~
That had been a week ago. She had been plagued with those memories and it hurt her even more than it did then. What hurt even more was to see the look on Sano's face when she would brush him off. She hated it and wanted to run and tell him everything, but something inside her, maybe her pride, wouldn't let her.
She sighed and looked towards the window. Everything was so calm and sunny. So beautiful. So..plentiful. She frowned, she was tired of feeling so weak, she refused to let Kanyruu's words get to her. His words. She felt her hands press on her stomache lightly. She lowered her head and watched as if it were going to sprout under her touch.
She turned her head towards the faint tune of her radio. She stood and floated towards it. The strings of a jazz gutair were being played and another intrusment faded in the background. Maybe a sax or something. She pushed her head back and kneeled down to press her ear to the metal surface of the speakers.
She smiled sadly, all these songs seemed to be sung for her. As if she had been the inspiration. This one reminded her most of something she had experienced many times over. Loss.
Maybe if I wouldn't have told on you
You'd still be here
I don't wanna cry
For the lost pain of those years
What's gone is in the past
But seems my past is now my future
Why oh Why oh Why
Did we have to say goodbye
Before I got to ever see your soul
And I'm still paying with my heart..
~~Flash back..~~
He smiled at her from the doorway. "It always tastes better when it's fierce." He said with a slight lustful tone. He smiled at her growling sneer. With a last swat of flowing blood he exited the room. She jumped up and starting swinging at the metal cage that she had now called her home.
"You sick bastard!" She growled as her fists began to dent the metal. She struck the door one last time and then felt herself slowly sink to the floor. Her breaths counted three mintutes apart and she stared down at her hands. They were bloody from the door, but she was bloody from him.
"Kan.Ry.Uu." She spat as her eyes flared up. She sent her foot colliding to the door as she let out a growl. She frowned as the pain seeped from her foot towards her waist. She stared down at her body. The faint glow of the light underneath the door way swam over the left of her.
With each passing scar she saw,she regained specks of anger. He had finally raped her, after all she had thrown at him in the past. She knew he'd be back now that he found the power to overcome her.Now that she excatly supressed her anger the pains were clear as day. Her back was battered with scratches and fingernail prints enembled in her skin.
She just stopped and held her head. She hadn't deserved this, or maybe she did? She had taken the lives of so many and what did she have to show for it? Her never finished Hell tasks of suicides. She felt her self shiver from the angry sobs that chocked in her throat. Maybe she was feeling this pain because she had cause so much of it.
This was her punishment.She threw her head back as a loud cry erupted from her. She held her head and swatted at her tears. She refused to let Kanryuu get to her two times. She'd be strong and keep fighting back and maybe it might save her. She crawled near the fulton, but only crept forward to reach for a slender blue book that was hidden under the mattress.
She winced as her finger brushed against the slightly warm sheets and she turned her head away. She pushed the mattress up slightly and quickly snatched up the book. She inched away from the fulton making sure to put a good distance between herself and Kanyruu's scent.
The small crackle of the seal was heard as her fingers slide between inked pages. She winced in pain as she sat herself against the cold wall beside the faint door light. She held her breath as she inched her knees towards her breast. She finally exhaled and bit her lip to keep from screaming.
One more noise and he might come back and if he found out she kept this then he would more than likely punish her.She picked up the small nub of a pencil and put it in position.
~End of flashback..(for now)~~
Am I really suppose to not be bitter?
Refused myself to let the pain go..
And just cause my heart wants me to remember
I still condem those memories
I think I'll try a suicide, but can't seem to die
This pain, I think I'll drown myself
And maybe,.....just maybe
I can wash away those years?
Oh maybe..maybe
I can wash away those years?
Megumi lifted her head from the desk. She felt the wind shove the cold in her face, as if to make sure she felt her pain seeping out. She shoke as she felt the rough hands of memories pushed down her body underneath her kimono. She moved her hands from her stomach and held her head.
"Stop it!" She yelled angerily. And as she wished, it stopped. Her eyes bolted open as her breathing slowed, and she held her knees. She heard the loud knocks on her door and the soft calling of the fatherly figure in her life.
"I shouldn't have told him..I should have fought harder." She whimpered as she dropped her head, "If only I would have..that feeling to lose her..my baby. Damn you Kanryuu!" She could still remember that night...
She shoke her head and looked up. As much as it hurt, she had to get rid of this guilt. She believed it was her fault, but she shouldn't have to take it out on those around her. That baby that she was denied could become hers again, this time being welcomed by its' father.
She stood and watched the door with hesitation. Sure she could say all this in her mind, but could she go through with it? 'Let me have a chance Megumi, let me love you.' Sanaosuke's voice rang. She smiled slightly and reached over and turned off her radio.
She was ready now and he was all she needed to help her through this. She paced to the door and unlocked it, nearly knocking over the doctor himself. "Oh, Megumi are you alr-" "Yes, sorry, but if you don't mind I must be going." She cut in as she jogged away from him.
He watched the form disappear out the door and stood up. He smiled and shoke his head slightly returning to his line of work. Megumi made it around the corner before slowing her pace down. She saw the small brick of Sano's 'house' and walked towards it with a smile.
Without knowing she quickened her pace and was soon infront of his door. She took a deep breath and then exhaled. This was it, she had her answer. She took out the key from her apron pocket and slide it in the door nob.
After hear the click she pushed it forward. "Sano! We're going to have the.."
~~~~~
Woo..yeah yeah..it wasn't the best ever..so just r and r okay?