Chapter 7: RAWR!
*****
A/N: Sorry if the dialogue isn't true to the Antique Roadshow - I've only seen glimpses of it, and I don't know much about antiques or dolls, so I'm just going to BS my way through.
*****
"Um, yes. This was given to me by my grandmother when I was four. She said it was originally one of the dolls in the collection of Elizabeth the second, when she was just a baby," Maria said, checking herself to hold in the squeals that threatened to spill out at the sight of the red light blinking on the camera.
"Oh my," Mr. Zimmerman exclaimed, as he examined the doll. "This is quite exquisite work. The doll itself is very finely made... style looks to be that of the early 20th century, probably some time after the Great War. Wait a minute - you see this tag here? There's only a single marking on it... it's SW," he said before pausing in thought.
"This must have been made Steven Wentworth, who worked out of a shop in Southampton in the late 20s. It was crafted with great care with good pine and a fine coating of varnish was laid down to give it a glossy finish which has worn away over the years."
Maria started to get more and more excited, as the appraiser continued his analysis.
"Now Steven Wentworth was one of the great doll-makers of his time, and some of his work was in fact commissioned specially for the royal family. Unfortunately, he died in a house fire shortly after he became prominent, so his work is extremely rare. Though the doll isn't in the best condition, it's worth well over ten thousand pounds... and if you could prove that it did once belong to the Queen, I could see you getting over double that price if it were to be brought to auction."
Maria's eyes lit up and glazed over. Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' and remained so for quite some time.
"Miss?"
The appraiser waved his hand in front of her fruitlessly as she stayed in her trance, completely awestruck at the news. Her old, ratty doll was worth more than thirty thousand dollars.
"I'm RICH!" she screamed in a piercing screech.
She to jump up and down when quite suddenly the doll was ripped from Mr. Zimmerman's grasp and was promptly decapitated by cruel, calculating hands. The head dropped on the floor and cracked in half, each piece rolling away in the opposite direction briefly before falling flat on the ground. The appraiser looked down at the broken antique with horror.
"BITCH!" Lana howled as she jumped Maria, landing on top of the dumbstruck girl. She began to rain blows down on her victim, but Clark intervened, grabbing her at the waist from behind and pulling her off, her feet swinging in the air as she cursed at him. He gently placed her down a few feet away but was quickly pushed away by Lana once she found her footing. "Stay out of this, Clark! I'll deal with YOU later."
Clark moved to rebut but hesitated when he saw the fire in her eyes and her nostrils flared like an angry bull. He bit his lip and retreated out of fear at the mere sight of her... he had never seen her in such a furious state.
By this time, a crowd had formed around them. They pointed, covered their mouths and gasped at the sight of the shattered doll and its owner lying on the ground after being assaulted. Maria picked herself up and set her sights on her opponent, eyebrows raised menacingly, her stare filled with daggers. Her hands balled into fists as she approached her from behind and pulled tightly on Lana's mane which elicited yet another scream.
Lana stomped on the attacker's foot and elbowed her in the ribs with as much force as she could muster, allowing her to escape from the hold. Taking two quick strides, Lana put her head down and rammed Maria in the stomach with her shoulder, bringing them both down in a heap. They struggled, pulling and tugging at what ever body parts they could grab a hold of as they rolled along the ground, the crowd giving way to their dispute. Guards finally came from the exits but at first glance of the two women struggling on the floor, they just smiled and looked on, one even cheering the catfight on.
Lana hit her head on a pedestal sending a vase to the ground, the owner cried in disbelief, seeing his priceless heirloom crashing down. Maria took the opportunity to get off the floor and untangle herself from Lana. A thin trail of blood ran down from her nose to her upper lip which she casually wiped with her sleeve. Her hair was disheveled and her breath was ragged. She stood there arms out ready to take her on.
"You little slut. Had enough?" she shouted.
"Not until I wipe the floor with you, skank!" came her seething reply.
Maria hated being called a skank. She charged at Lana, who gracefully stepped out of harm's way while deftly grabbing onto her shirt as she passed. Using her own momentum against her, Lana propelled her opponent into the chair which Clark earlier had been reprimanded for sitting on. Maria stumbled into it and the dismal excuse for a chair splintered under her weight. The old lady fainted and was caught by two bystanders before she could hit the ground.
In a flash, Lana was over her, her hands wrapped around her neck, strangling her as she futilely gripped Lana's wrists in panic.
"He's mine you two dollar ho, and don't you forget it!"
Out of desperation, she dug her nails into her arms. Lana recoiled, and Maria gasped for breath. Lana, seeing her wounds were deep, became more infuriated and rushed at her adversary, who was kneeling down, still recovering. In an amazing display of reflexes, she caught Lana's foot as it came out to strike her and pulled her down in the middle of the remains of the broken chair. They were both bleeding and received many splinters, but neither was willing to stop their quarrelling.
"I treat Clark much better than you ever did! And my hair has much more volume than yours, missy," Maria proclaimed with attitude.
Lana touched her hair defensively, incensed by her remarks.
"How dare you? I just got my hair done yesterday!"
"Well you should've gotten your money back, cuz you look like shit!"
"Shit? Take a look in the mirror, girl, with that whore makeup you got on."
"Fashion reject!"
"Fat-ass!!"
They both got up and circled each other, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. Lana feigned a punch which Maria tried to dodge, leaving her prone to attack. She struck Maria with a sharp strike to her stomach, knocking the wind out of her and making her fall to her knees. She staggered about helplessly until Lana bent down, lifted her chin and looked her dead in the eye.
"Clark is mine," she stated bluntly before viciously delivering the deciding blow with the back of her hand. Blood and spit flew from Maria's mouth as she struck the ground with a resounding thud.
The guards finally had enough and two of them restrained Lana while the other checked to see if Maria was okay. Clark walked toward them, a guilty look on his face. 'This was all my fault,' he thought.
"Smile ladies, you're on PBS!" shouted the producer.
The two girls and Clark looked over to their left and sure enough, the cameraman had caught the entire scuffle.
Maria seized her moment and when the camera panned down to the floor where she lay bloodied and beaten, she screamed, "She's pregnant with his baby!" and pointed at Clark and Lana with an accusing finger.
The camera swiftly turned to a shell-shocked Clark as the crowd gasped in revelation and began whispering amongst themselves.
*****
*****
A/N: Sorry if the dialogue isn't true to the Antique Roadshow - I've only seen glimpses of it, and I don't know much about antiques or dolls, so I'm just going to BS my way through.
*****
"Um, yes. This was given to me by my grandmother when I was four. She said it was originally one of the dolls in the collection of Elizabeth the second, when she was just a baby," Maria said, checking herself to hold in the squeals that threatened to spill out at the sight of the red light blinking on the camera.
"Oh my," Mr. Zimmerman exclaimed, as he examined the doll. "This is quite exquisite work. The doll itself is very finely made... style looks to be that of the early 20th century, probably some time after the Great War. Wait a minute - you see this tag here? There's only a single marking on it... it's SW," he said before pausing in thought.
"This must have been made Steven Wentworth, who worked out of a shop in Southampton in the late 20s. It was crafted with great care with good pine and a fine coating of varnish was laid down to give it a glossy finish which has worn away over the years."
Maria started to get more and more excited, as the appraiser continued his analysis.
"Now Steven Wentworth was one of the great doll-makers of his time, and some of his work was in fact commissioned specially for the royal family. Unfortunately, he died in a house fire shortly after he became prominent, so his work is extremely rare. Though the doll isn't in the best condition, it's worth well over ten thousand pounds... and if you could prove that it did once belong to the Queen, I could see you getting over double that price if it were to be brought to auction."
Maria's eyes lit up and glazed over. Her mouth formed a perfect 'O' and remained so for quite some time.
"Miss?"
The appraiser waved his hand in front of her fruitlessly as she stayed in her trance, completely awestruck at the news. Her old, ratty doll was worth more than thirty thousand dollars.
"I'm RICH!" she screamed in a piercing screech.
She to jump up and down when quite suddenly the doll was ripped from Mr. Zimmerman's grasp and was promptly decapitated by cruel, calculating hands. The head dropped on the floor and cracked in half, each piece rolling away in the opposite direction briefly before falling flat on the ground. The appraiser looked down at the broken antique with horror.
"BITCH!" Lana howled as she jumped Maria, landing on top of the dumbstruck girl. She began to rain blows down on her victim, but Clark intervened, grabbing her at the waist from behind and pulling her off, her feet swinging in the air as she cursed at him. He gently placed her down a few feet away but was quickly pushed away by Lana once she found her footing. "Stay out of this, Clark! I'll deal with YOU later."
Clark moved to rebut but hesitated when he saw the fire in her eyes and her nostrils flared like an angry bull. He bit his lip and retreated out of fear at the mere sight of her... he had never seen her in such a furious state.
By this time, a crowd had formed around them. They pointed, covered their mouths and gasped at the sight of the shattered doll and its owner lying on the ground after being assaulted. Maria picked herself up and set her sights on her opponent, eyebrows raised menacingly, her stare filled with daggers. Her hands balled into fists as she approached her from behind and pulled tightly on Lana's mane which elicited yet another scream.
Lana stomped on the attacker's foot and elbowed her in the ribs with as much force as she could muster, allowing her to escape from the hold. Taking two quick strides, Lana put her head down and rammed Maria in the stomach with her shoulder, bringing them both down in a heap. They struggled, pulling and tugging at what ever body parts they could grab a hold of as they rolled along the ground, the crowd giving way to their dispute. Guards finally came from the exits but at first glance of the two women struggling on the floor, they just smiled and looked on, one even cheering the catfight on.
Lana hit her head on a pedestal sending a vase to the ground, the owner cried in disbelief, seeing his priceless heirloom crashing down. Maria took the opportunity to get off the floor and untangle herself from Lana. A thin trail of blood ran down from her nose to her upper lip which she casually wiped with her sleeve. Her hair was disheveled and her breath was ragged. She stood there arms out ready to take her on.
"You little slut. Had enough?" she shouted.
"Not until I wipe the floor with you, skank!" came her seething reply.
Maria hated being called a skank. She charged at Lana, who gracefully stepped out of harm's way while deftly grabbing onto her shirt as she passed. Using her own momentum against her, Lana propelled her opponent into the chair which Clark earlier had been reprimanded for sitting on. Maria stumbled into it and the dismal excuse for a chair splintered under her weight. The old lady fainted and was caught by two bystanders before she could hit the ground.
In a flash, Lana was over her, her hands wrapped around her neck, strangling her as she futilely gripped Lana's wrists in panic.
"He's mine you two dollar ho, and don't you forget it!"
Out of desperation, she dug her nails into her arms. Lana recoiled, and Maria gasped for breath. Lana, seeing her wounds were deep, became more infuriated and rushed at her adversary, who was kneeling down, still recovering. In an amazing display of reflexes, she caught Lana's foot as it came out to strike her and pulled her down in the middle of the remains of the broken chair. They were both bleeding and received many splinters, but neither was willing to stop their quarrelling.
"I treat Clark much better than you ever did! And my hair has much more volume than yours, missy," Maria proclaimed with attitude.
Lana touched her hair defensively, incensed by her remarks.
"How dare you? I just got my hair done yesterday!"
"Well you should've gotten your money back, cuz you look like shit!"
"Shit? Take a look in the mirror, girl, with that whore makeup you got on."
"Fashion reject!"
"Fat-ass!!"
They both got up and circled each other, waiting for an opportunity to pounce. Lana feigned a punch which Maria tried to dodge, leaving her prone to attack. She struck Maria with a sharp strike to her stomach, knocking the wind out of her and making her fall to her knees. She staggered about helplessly until Lana bent down, lifted her chin and looked her dead in the eye.
"Clark is mine," she stated bluntly before viciously delivering the deciding blow with the back of her hand. Blood and spit flew from Maria's mouth as she struck the ground with a resounding thud.
The guards finally had enough and two of them restrained Lana while the other checked to see if Maria was okay. Clark walked toward them, a guilty look on his face. 'This was all my fault,' he thought.
"Smile ladies, you're on PBS!" shouted the producer.
The two girls and Clark looked over to their left and sure enough, the cameraman had caught the entire scuffle.
Maria seized her moment and when the camera panned down to the floor where she lay bloodied and beaten, she screamed, "She's pregnant with his baby!" and pointed at Clark and Lana with an accusing finger.
The camera swiftly turned to a shell-shocked Clark as the crowd gasped in revelation and began whispering amongst themselves.
*****