A/N: All right, I'm a victim to my muse. Most of this is written, but..sooner or later I'll run out. Oh yes, new with FF.net, so give me a bit to figure this out. Big thanks to my Beta. Here you go.
The Diary of Remus Lupin
By Jess
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
-Edgar Allen poe, Dream Within a Dream
~-Part One: The Age of Innocence-~
I'm not going to call you a 'diary' as a matter of fact, you know the title mum put on you? I taped over it with JOURNAL! Because I refuse to call you a diary. It's girly! You know that? Nik and Colten would tease me to no end if they found this thing. I'm only doing this because mum insists. Quite pitiful this is. Most six year olds, or as far as I know, can't write. (Nik and Colten can't, they're parents haven't made them yet. HA!) Okay, so basic information. I'm Six, my birthday is November 23. I'm really short, sadly. My hair is dark brown and eyes are gray. Nik says they're odd, but I disagree. And...I guess that's it? Still not seeing the point of writing in this.
Remus J. Lupin, October 15, 1966
Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear Remmy! Happy birthday to me! If you didn't guess by that, I'm seven years old today! Ha! In your face! The birthday party was awesome! Mum and Da made a cake, a big one too, and Colten and Nik were in good moods! We played games and I won musical chairs. We played tag but I tripped, so they got me. Fell flat on my face in front of everyone then got laughed at. Admittedly, I've never been much graceful. Never, so the meeting with the floor was nothing new. As you noticed, I'm not writing in here unless I'm either really bored or have something to write about, but I'm not bored very often so it's doubtful. See ya later alligator! Now if only you could reply...bah.
Remus Lupin, November 23, 1966
This is boring. Very. Boring. Nik is out of town, lovely. Colten is stuck with his grandmother, oh joy! And here I am. So bored I'm actually writing in here without anything to say, besides the fact that my mum went nuclear earlier. Yea, she went nuclear, and I found it rather amusing. Rather shameful. Okay, so I'm not supposed to be amused by the fact that mum went nuclear. Actually, even less so as I was the one she went nuclear on, but I'm rather used to it. I figured out a while back that she considers me a waste of time and energy. Anyways, this time it was about going out to the forest alone again. Don't see why she's so concerned, nothing's lived there in ages. What does she think will happen? A wolf will bite me? Ha! Doubtful. I could outrun one of them easily. I think she's just annoyed at the very fact I'm having fun. That's it. She never likes me to enjoy anything. She hates Nik and Colten. I think she's jealous cause Da likes me more. I bet that's it, but I can't prove it, can I?
Remus Lupin, November 29, 1966
Nik and Colten are back! Yayy!!
Remus Lupin, December 14, 1966
Okay, so that was admittedly short. Aren't I a smart person? But I was going to write something more, just the fact that they knocked as I began writing, so you can't blame me. Okay, so now I'm apologizing to a book. A book, for merlin's sake! I really must be losing it. Or have I already lost it? Oh well. Either way, I do have some news. We (Colten, Nik and I) went exploring the forest again (much to Mum's dismay). We found an old cottage in the woods, deserted it is. We plan on making it our secret hideout. Good idea, hmn? We just have to fix it up a small bit, and then we have it! Ha! Go us!
Remus Lupin, December 19, 1966
I think mum was right...
Remus Lupin, December 20, 1966
I guess I need to put an explanation about the last entry here. I should clarify it to myself. I probably won't remember it twenty years from now. But that's doubtful, as it already haunts my dreams. Remember the crack about the wolf? It happened. It chased Colten, Nik and I. We ran, heading for the cabin we had found but it cornered us. Nik and Colten climbed through the window, but I was too small. I couldn't make it. The wolf pounced on me, it bit me, and then I blacked out. I didn't wake up for some time, but things had changed. There was a voice in my head, telling me to hurt people. Everything was so loud, and light hurt my eyes so badly. Why me? I've always tried to behave, I have. Now I can't stand it. I feel like...like I'm going insane. What will Colten and Nik say when they find out? Will they still be my friends? My dad says I'm a werewolf...and that everything will be okay. My mum...she avoids me more than ever. She hates me. Will everyone else feel the same?
Remus Lupin, January 14, 1967
I can't help but feel tired. I spend half of the month tired, depressed and easily agitated. The other half I spend thoroughly exhausted, unable to sleep, and sick. What could be worse? Colten and Nik have been inquiring about this. I just tell them I must have caught something when the wolf bit me. And it isn't exactly a lie, I guess.
Remus Lupin, February 13, 1967
Wow, first day I'm feeling aright since the accident! Hooray? Maybe it has something to do with the fact there's a New Moon tonight, But I wouldn't know. I really should look some stuff up on this. Maybe I will sooner or later. Don't know for sure. But I probably will. Going outside. Waste of time, you are.
Remus Lupin, February 19, 1967
Nik found out today. He looked at me like I was...a monster. He's going to tell Colten, and Colten will be the same. They'll both hate me forever. And I can't help it! It's not fair! It isn't! I didn't ask to be bitten! I didn't ask to have to change into a monster every full moon! I never did! I never wanted it! I just wanted to be normal! Normal! Why can't anyone understand that? I'm not a monster! I'm just Remus...the same person...except I look different... nothing else. Why'd this have to happen to me? I hate it. I hate everything.
Remus Lupin, February 27, 1967
He told Colten. Colten crosses the road when he sees me coming.
Remus Lupin, February 28, 1967
Now I turn to you, lost of all other worldly contact. My mum looks at me like I'm a piece of scum, my dad's trying to find a cure, but people have been trying that for years. No one ever has, so why would one show up now? What's the use? I don't see it.
Remus Lupin, March 3, 1967
It snowed today. I used to always be the first one out when it snowed. Now I'm staying in here, watching everyone else play, making snowmen and snow angels and flinging snowballs. It seems every kid in town knows, as whenever I walk out of the house they all duck and run. Nice luck I have.
Remus Lupin, March 5, 1967
The full moon was last night. Everything heals up after I change, but it doesn't stop the pain. No, no way does it. Besides the shadows of numerous gashes, claw marks and bites that are left across my arms and back, I feel like every joint is misplaced, and why wouldn't I? I just had every bone and muscle in my body reshaped twice in less than twelve hours. Oh joy.
Remus Lupin, March 11, 1967
You know what I realized? This JOURNAL is depressing me more than I already am. I think I'll put it away for some time, maybe forever. I don't really need it. Mum's pretending I don't exist. I'm only going to write when something..something big happens. Then that's it. So, g'bye for now.
Remus Lupin, March 13, 1967
TBC
~-~_~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
b A/n:/b Well, that's it? Like it? Hate it? XD Tell me what's wrong or right with it, if you want. *shrugs* If you even read it. *points to button dully* Oh yes, I know it's short. I have longer too...
The Diary of Remus Lupin
By Jess
Take this kiss upon the brow!
And, in parting from you now,
Thus much let me avow--
You are not wrong, who deem
That my days have been a dream;
Yet if hope has flown away
In a night, or in a day,
In a vision, or in none,
Is it therefore the less gone?
All that we see or seem
Is but a dream within a dream.
I stand amid the roar
Of a surf-tormented shore,
And I hold within my hand
Grains of the golden sand--
How few! yet how they creep
Through my fingers to the deep,
While I weep--while I weep!
O God! can I not grasp
Them with a tighter clasp?
O God! can I not save
One from the pitiless wave?
Is all that we see or seem
But a dream within a dream?
-Edgar Allen poe, Dream Within a Dream
~-Part One: The Age of Innocence-~
I'm not going to call you a 'diary' as a matter of fact, you know the title mum put on you? I taped over it with JOURNAL! Because I refuse to call you a diary. It's girly! You know that? Nik and Colten would tease me to no end if they found this thing. I'm only doing this because mum insists. Quite pitiful this is. Most six year olds, or as far as I know, can't write. (Nik and Colten can't, they're parents haven't made them yet. HA!) Okay, so basic information. I'm Six, my birthday is November 23. I'm really short, sadly. My hair is dark brown and eyes are gray. Nik says they're odd, but I disagree. And...I guess that's it? Still not seeing the point of writing in this.
Remus J. Lupin, October 15, 1966
Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday to me! Happy birthday dear Remmy! Happy birthday to me! If you didn't guess by that, I'm seven years old today! Ha! In your face! The birthday party was awesome! Mum and Da made a cake, a big one too, and Colten and Nik were in good moods! We played games and I won musical chairs. We played tag but I tripped, so they got me. Fell flat on my face in front of everyone then got laughed at. Admittedly, I've never been much graceful. Never, so the meeting with the floor was nothing new. As you noticed, I'm not writing in here unless I'm either really bored or have something to write about, but I'm not bored very often so it's doubtful. See ya later alligator! Now if only you could reply...bah.
Remus Lupin, November 23, 1966
This is boring. Very. Boring. Nik is out of town, lovely. Colten is stuck with his grandmother, oh joy! And here I am. So bored I'm actually writing in here without anything to say, besides the fact that my mum went nuclear earlier. Yea, she went nuclear, and I found it rather amusing. Rather shameful. Okay, so I'm not supposed to be amused by the fact that mum went nuclear. Actually, even less so as I was the one she went nuclear on, but I'm rather used to it. I figured out a while back that she considers me a waste of time and energy. Anyways, this time it was about going out to the forest alone again. Don't see why she's so concerned, nothing's lived there in ages. What does she think will happen? A wolf will bite me? Ha! Doubtful. I could outrun one of them easily. I think she's just annoyed at the very fact I'm having fun. That's it. She never likes me to enjoy anything. She hates Nik and Colten. I think she's jealous cause Da likes me more. I bet that's it, but I can't prove it, can I?
Remus Lupin, November 29, 1966
Nik and Colten are back! Yayy!!
Remus Lupin, December 14, 1966
Okay, so that was admittedly short. Aren't I a smart person? But I was going to write something more, just the fact that they knocked as I began writing, so you can't blame me. Okay, so now I'm apologizing to a book. A book, for merlin's sake! I really must be losing it. Or have I already lost it? Oh well. Either way, I do have some news. We (Colten, Nik and I) went exploring the forest again (much to Mum's dismay). We found an old cottage in the woods, deserted it is. We plan on making it our secret hideout. Good idea, hmn? We just have to fix it up a small bit, and then we have it! Ha! Go us!
Remus Lupin, December 19, 1966
I think mum was right...
Remus Lupin, December 20, 1966
I guess I need to put an explanation about the last entry here. I should clarify it to myself. I probably won't remember it twenty years from now. But that's doubtful, as it already haunts my dreams. Remember the crack about the wolf? It happened. It chased Colten, Nik and I. We ran, heading for the cabin we had found but it cornered us. Nik and Colten climbed through the window, but I was too small. I couldn't make it. The wolf pounced on me, it bit me, and then I blacked out. I didn't wake up for some time, but things had changed. There was a voice in my head, telling me to hurt people. Everything was so loud, and light hurt my eyes so badly. Why me? I've always tried to behave, I have. Now I can't stand it. I feel like...like I'm going insane. What will Colten and Nik say when they find out? Will they still be my friends? My dad says I'm a werewolf...and that everything will be okay. My mum...she avoids me more than ever. She hates me. Will everyone else feel the same?
Remus Lupin, January 14, 1967
I can't help but feel tired. I spend half of the month tired, depressed and easily agitated. The other half I spend thoroughly exhausted, unable to sleep, and sick. What could be worse? Colten and Nik have been inquiring about this. I just tell them I must have caught something when the wolf bit me. And it isn't exactly a lie, I guess.
Remus Lupin, February 13, 1967
Wow, first day I'm feeling aright since the accident! Hooray? Maybe it has something to do with the fact there's a New Moon tonight, But I wouldn't know. I really should look some stuff up on this. Maybe I will sooner or later. Don't know for sure. But I probably will. Going outside. Waste of time, you are.
Remus Lupin, February 19, 1967
Nik found out today. He looked at me like I was...a monster. He's going to tell Colten, and Colten will be the same. They'll both hate me forever. And I can't help it! It's not fair! It isn't! I didn't ask to be bitten! I didn't ask to have to change into a monster every full moon! I never did! I never wanted it! I just wanted to be normal! Normal! Why can't anyone understand that? I'm not a monster! I'm just Remus...the same person...except I look different... nothing else. Why'd this have to happen to me? I hate it. I hate everything.
Remus Lupin, February 27, 1967
He told Colten. Colten crosses the road when he sees me coming.
Remus Lupin, February 28, 1967
Now I turn to you, lost of all other worldly contact. My mum looks at me like I'm a piece of scum, my dad's trying to find a cure, but people have been trying that for years. No one ever has, so why would one show up now? What's the use? I don't see it.
Remus Lupin, March 3, 1967
It snowed today. I used to always be the first one out when it snowed. Now I'm staying in here, watching everyone else play, making snowmen and snow angels and flinging snowballs. It seems every kid in town knows, as whenever I walk out of the house they all duck and run. Nice luck I have.
Remus Lupin, March 5, 1967
The full moon was last night. Everything heals up after I change, but it doesn't stop the pain. No, no way does it. Besides the shadows of numerous gashes, claw marks and bites that are left across my arms and back, I feel like every joint is misplaced, and why wouldn't I? I just had every bone and muscle in my body reshaped twice in less than twelve hours. Oh joy.
Remus Lupin, March 11, 1967
You know what I realized? This JOURNAL is depressing me more than I already am. I think I'll put it away for some time, maybe forever. I don't really need it. Mum's pretending I don't exist. I'm only going to write when something..something big happens. Then that's it. So, g'bye for now.
Remus Lupin, March 13, 1967
TBC
~-~_~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
b A/n:/b Well, that's it? Like it? Hate it? XD Tell me what's wrong or right with it, if you want. *shrugs* If you even read it. *points to button dully* Oh yes, I know it's short. I have longer too...