Authors note - Hey, I know it's been an age, sorry about that. this chapter is short, but, it's better than nothing at all, right!! hope you enjoy, and bare with me!

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Chapter 4 - Not that easy.

After there lunch eaisland had gone back to her room as Lex had been called to the Plant. After talking about what would be happening to her now she was going to stay at the mansion, an image of her stepfather crept unbidden to her minds eye and she shivered. Her mind went back to that last night in the house again even though she tried desperately to stop herself. She could feel his hands reaching out, NO, NO, NO, I WILL NOT THINK ABOUT THAT, STOP IT NOW!' Screaming at herself Eaisland hurried into the bathroom, pulled of her clothes and jumped under the spray of water that she turned to hotter than she could stand it. She felt her skin cry out in pain as she near burned herself. Ruthlessly she picked up the sponge and started scrubbing herself until she thought no skin could be left on her body. Slowly her anger ebbed away and she felt her skin complaining at her hash treatment. Sighing, she turned off the water and stepped out of the shower, picked up a fluffy towel and dried herself of very carefully. Dressing in her discarded clothes again Eaisland didn't think she could stay in her room at the moment, the temptation to get back in the shower and scrub of another layer of skin was nagging at her. She needed to get her mind off things. Looking to the doorway her mind hit on an idea, Exploration, yep, good as anything, and I do need to learn my way around.' Eaisland's mood picked up a little as she headed for the door.

It had been hours, and Eaisland had found many interesting rooms and hallways to keep her mind occupied. But stopping to contemplated the view from one of the many windows was her undoing, her mind began to stray from the topic od what was in front of her. As she started to walk the halls of the mansion again, silent but for her footsteps, Eaisland let her mind wander back lunch. It had been less than 24 hours ago that her life had changed beyond all recognition. Her emotions where warring inside of her. One side of her wanted to leap around in joy, she now lived somewhere that she didn't need to fear that her stepfather would get drunk and try to hurt her, and she could finally be herself, no masks, no saying that nothing was wrong even though it was, no more shame and hiding in dark rooms. Lex, he had been there to helped her, and it seemed he would be there for awhile. But.

But, there just had to be a but' didn't there' her mind sighed. Even if she was not physically, bodily living in that place still, mentally it was a very different matter. You couldn't just erase that many years of pain, memories weren't things that could be etch-a-scetch wiped clean. If only that were true' Eaisland laughed, a short and mirthless sound, choked before it could even be finished. It had come from the heart of the other side of her, the one that wanted to curl up into a little ball a cry, the one that Lex had scraped of the side of the road last night, the one that was scared and lost and lonely, the one that she tried to keep back with her jump for joy side, the one that was by far the larger part of her whole self and the one that would not be kept back any longer. She stopped walking and lent against the cool stone of the wall, she slowly sank to the ground as her legs failed to support her. The memories stabbed at her, flooding her, a maelstrom tide intent on drowning her.

Eaisland felt the tears burning at the back of her eyes and she clutched her legs up to her and hugged the fiercely. How was it that no matter how many times she scalded her skin with hot water, rubbed it raw by washing, told her self that it was nothing, how was it that she could still feel his hands, his breath, his presence. Eaisland bowed her head and began to tremble with rage. How is it that he can still do this to me, why do I give him the power, he's not here, he never will be.' Letting go of her knees she hit her fists against the wall behind her in frustration. But that doesn't stop me being afraid to go to sleep because I might have him there waiting for me all over again.' Small soft tears escaped her hazel eyes and ran in tiny rivulets down her cheeks. Eaisland let them drop onto the soft fabric of her top as she once more curled up around herself. The maelstrom swallowed Eaisland, dragged her down to a pit of darkness, far away from the sunlight.

TBC.....

Authors note - As I said, this was short, more to come very soon hopefully!