Otay, now dere was a nok on da door and den im like hoo is it? And den mrs norris wllked in n she was lyke, tapdance 4 me. And im lyke wat da hell and shes lyke tapdance u foolish hooman! And so I tapdanced expurtlee without 1 leson wien snappey kame in. and im lyke I hayte you and hes lyke but I luv u! and im lyke stoop acting like a purvuted freek and den I throo my banjo at him and den snappie poo and mrs norris/hagrid possessed startd eatin zuchhnes and den I was lyke omg the fooms are keeling me! Butt den merakooluslee my aire filter turned on so I was savd a painfull death. But den, snape got down and prupused 2 mrs norris/hagrid and if I did so make dis hapn it wulld b a possessed slash thing so ill stop. But Neways snapey had pked up mrsnorris/hagrid and throo it out da window yellin I hope you go bald. But then, haggie realized he was bald and convulsed. So den of his mullteepull convulsions he died a painful 4th death. Every1 was like yay cuz they all hate him and his zuccinis. So dere was mooch rejoicing. butt den, all o de sudden, helga huffopoof kam up 2 me nad was like, ur the chosen prinsess of hoggyworts and im like, omg, no way! And shez like, u must protect the sakrd jewel of ackaxaboooooshooo. So im like, I tink I kan do dat. But den, mrs. norris rose freakishly from the grund with her freakish cat magic squib powers cuz she read out of filchs bok and she said again zuccinihs belong in hell and im lyke ya I agre. But how do u tllk? And shes like, im a squibcatthing so just ber wit me kay? And im like otay and den she uoosed her freekishcatsquid powas I turned into a visheus parakeet and started peccin all da hoggywartsmooshamooo stoodents on da head and dey were lyke ow. But, cuz I have mirrorakuluss powers of the gods, I fund hermyninnys time turner on the ground, so im like, hahaha. So I used it and I want bak in tyme and then I saw remus and stuff and im like oh yeah a whole new generation to ask out. It was sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooooooooooo sweet cuz then I got marryed and deevorced to most peeps dads. It rawked my poolkadotted sawks.

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Thank you to moween for co-writing this wit me. Well. Uh. Bye!

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