A Wedding Song 11: Mad Season
Thanks again to suz for very politely slapping me upside the head when I don't do my research. You're becoming my saving grace. Thank God you're not afraid to crack me a good one when I get lazy! LOL. This chap is significantly different than the version that was here.
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MONDAY MORNING
"Will you please sit down?"
"Uh-uh! Get away from me! You put that down, Claire, or I'm never comin' in the Keep again!"
"Bobby, you are being ridiculous! Get over here...."
"Yeah, right! I got a gun an' I'll use it, I swear...."
"You will not!"
"Well.... okay, so I won't, but you're still not gettin' any closer to me with.... that!"
Disgusted, Claire threw down the exam gown she held and unleashed her secret weapon.
"Robert Albert Leviticus Mercutio Hobbes! You come and sit down in this administering chair or..."
Instantly Bobby whipped around to make sure the door to the soundproofed lab was secure and that noone outside could have heard Claire's intentional indiscretion. When he faced her again, she held up the door remote, sporting an evil grin. He quailed for a minute, then developed a grin of his own.
"You open that door an' I'm gone."
"That's not all this remote does anymore. I've recently programmed it to trigger the building-wide intercom system, just in case the day ever arrived that I was in trouble and couldn't reach the regular controls. Shall I?"
"You've been learnin' blackmail from Eberts."
"Absolutely. Now, if you don't mind...." she said, gesturing at the chair.
"That's just creepy, ya know that?" Bobby commented, desperately trying to stall. When her expression didn't soften in the least, he turned on his best Darien impression. "Aw, c'mon.... don't make me...."
"Building-wide. Everyone, including the Official, is about to know your middle name.... all your middle names I should say." she threatened. Finally Bobby began to move, very slowly, toward where Claire waited. "You can afford to expend a little more energy than that."
Reluctantly, he complied and finally reached the chair, climbing up into it with a fearful, mildly outraged expression.
"It ain't my fault my mom was a Shakespeare freak an' my granddad was a preacher!"
"I never said it was. I just wanted to make clear that I was perfectly willing to take utterly unfair advantage of your family's eccentricities and bad taste. Alright, before we go any further, you will tell me what that fuss was all about. You've never given me such a problem over a simple physical before."
"Simple? You got a strange way with words...."
"Bobby.... I'm sorry, alright? I explained to you...."
"You explained, yeah, but it don't make sense. You don't like the Official's orders anymore than we do. Suddenly he says somethin' an' you drop an' give him twenty. How come?"
"For once he made sense, Bobby. Being over forty puts you at higher risk for cancer and several other things. A hernia exam can uncover more than just that, you know. Every other male agent in your age group will have to suffer the same indignity, so resign yourself, alright? As for why I won't be conducting the exam.... well, I hate to admit it, but he was right about that too. If something grave were to show up in your tests I'm far too close to you to be objective. I'd find it almost impossible to even tell you, never mind help you explore your options... I just can't." she added gently as Darien strolled in and stopped on the other side of Bobby from where Claire stood.
"I'm sorry, man, really. I meant to be here when she told you but the fat man hung me up for an hour tryin' to get me to tell him more than was in my report or yours. Claims he can't authorize payment for another agent in therapy unless he knows the whole story. Jackass..."
"What'd you end up tellin' him?"
"Not half as much as he wanted to know. I said if he won't pay for the treatment, I'll do it myself. He doesn't want me to go. I could see it in his beady little eyes. All he sees is one more stain on the Agency reputation; one more thing for the FBI an' the rest of the acronym squad to laugh about. He thought if he used the money excuse, I'd back down. Boy did he get a surprise."
"Cheryl's not cheap, buddy. If he makes good on that threat...."
"I'll work it out with her somehow. We'll deal with that later if it comes up. We're supposed to be talkin' about you right now. You givin' poor Claire a hard time?"
"Damn right! Nobody's touched my.... you know, since Viv, an' I ain't breakin the streak now!"
"You have to trust me, Bobby. Betsy Young is one of the kindest, gentlest physicians I've ever worked with and she's a wonderful person...."
"You could get Mother Theresa in here an I wouldn't let her... It's just..... I'm not lettin' some stranger.... I've had enough humiliation an' embarrassment to last two lifetimes. Forget it."
Darien leaned in a little and stared directly into Bobby's eyes.
"Bobby. Before we found each other, neither one of us thought much about this kinda thing. Duckin' bullets or stayin' outta jail was pretty much all the health care we had time to worry about. Right?"
"I guess. Yeah, except for the regular blood-work that's part an' parcel a'my meds, you're pretty much right on."
"It's different now. We've got a little girl; someone to stay healthy for. I want us both to be there when she turns twenty-five. Don't tell me you're not livin' for the day she walks into the fat man's office an' makes her own decision whether to sign a paper or spit in his wrinkled, liver- spotted face."
Darien's description conjured up an image of Jabba the Hutt for Bobby and he laughed, in spite of his fear and concern.
"You know I am, Fawkes."
"Then chill out, okay? I know it's not gonna be a party, but we're doin' this for Bobbi."
"We? Who said anything about we?"
"I did. I know I'm young yet an' I know Claire keeps my skinny bod in top shape, but with everything I've been goin' through the past year and a half, I don't wanna take chances. Besides, I didn't want you to have to suffer alone. So? How about it? We doing this?"
"Crap.... you make a good case, kid, but...."
"I'll be right here to help you through it. I swear."
"I know. That's what I'm thinkin' about. I'm gonna need somebody's hand to grab onto.... probably crush, but all we've done is.... no way we're ready to...."
"Oh. Okay.... You're right. Way too much exposure at this point. Ummm...."
"I have an idea that will solve that problem. You...." Claire intoned darkly, pointing at Bobby. "are not to leave. I expect to find you right in that spot when I come back. Understood?"
"Yeah, yeah."
"While I'm gone, you might as well get into the gown. It's right there on the end of the chair."
"No way! No changin' room, nowhere to hide...."
"Darien will turn his back, I'm sure." Claire told him as she opened the door and stepped out. When she discovered her colleague outside about to touch the chime, Claire greeted her with quiet enthusiasm and encouraged the redheaded newcomer to enter.
"Good to see you, Betsy. Go on in. You can help with containment."
"Agent Hobbes eager to bolt is he?"
"The first chance he gets. I had to use blackmail."
"The doctor's most valuable tool." The other woman laughed, hugging Claire briefly. "I'll keep an eye on him. Where are you headed?"
"To find a portable privacy screen. Bolt his shoes to the floor if you have to. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"I'll save you some time. There's one in the lab just down the hall."
"You're a life-saver! Thank you!"
"No problem. Get going."
Claire dashed off and Betsy ambled into the Keep, making sure the door was closed behind her. "Morning, gentlemen. Betsy Young." She said cheerily, extending her hand as she neared the couple. Darien grasped it quickly; Bobby stared at it but refused to offer his hand in return. "Mmm- hmm. Now I know which is which." she chuckled.
"Hi. Just for the sake of courtesy, I'm Darien Fawkes. That's Bobby Hobbes. Don't pay any attention to his completely rude behavior." Darien commented, elbowing Bobby in an effort to get him to loosen up. "He's a little.... nervous."
"Nervous?! Try freakin' terrified..." the smaller man mumbled.
"Bobby, I told you it's okay. I'm not goin' anywhere...."
"Please. Who wouldn't be scared?" she admitted, claiming a stool near the foot of the admin. chair and setting the small bag she carried by her left foot. "I'll be the first to admit how embarrassing and uncomfortable this can be. Trust me, I understand, but it's only fair. We had to find some way to get revenge for men inventing the specialty of gynecology."
Darien turned away, blushing intensely and laughing like a loon. Bobby was guffawing so hard he nearly fell off the chair. When he finally recovered, he sat forward, pulling one leg in close to his body, and faced Betsy eye to eye.
"Okay. So you've got a decent sense of humor. What else do I need to know before I let you just.... do this?"
"About me or the exam?"
"Either. You choose."
"How about a little of both? I've been working here since about 1993. Before that I was a G.P., but I felt like I wanted a more personal connection with my patients. I wanted to feel like I was really making a difference for individuals, not HMO's."
"Personal connection." Darien snickered. "I guess that's one way to put it."
Bobby elbowed his fiancée this time, though with more force than he'd received.
"Hey!"
"Quit interruptin' and quit with the questionable comments, okay? Go on, doc."
"Betsy, please. I prefer most people to use my first name. The ones I like anyway, and you two are definitely in that category. I knew the minute I saw you both. Let's see, where was I? Oh, right. I talked to an old professor of mine who turned me on to medical service for the government and nine years later, here I am. Oh, and I also sing karaoke and I hold a J.P. license. That's Justice of the Peace for the uninitiated."
Darien and Bobby both gazed intently at her then turned their eyes to each other, slow smiles blossoming on their faces.
"You thinkin'..." Bobby began.
"Maybe. Let's get past this first."
"Yeah, right. We may not...."
"No, but I get a feelin'..."
"Me too. I mean we're never..."
"It's real....
"....unlikely. Yeah. Definite maybe."
"Definite."
Throughout the rapid, truncated conversation, Betsy simply kept looking from one to the other, growing more and more bewildered. When they finally finished, she blinked rapidly once or twice and finally spoke up.
"Translation into English if noone minds terribly?"
"Sorry. We've been tryin' not to do that so much. It freaks people out. A friend of ours calls it shorthand speech. See, as partners, we're so close sometimes it just.... happens."
"We'll give you the gist of it later." Bobby demurred. "Let's see how this.... exam goes first. Then, we might have some stuff to talk about. For now...."
Over the next few minutes, Betsy explained the basics of the procedure to both men and watched their eyes grow wider and wider. When Claire returned, the readhead paused to greet her friend then returned to her conversation with the men.
"That.... that's it, huh?" Darien forced out.
"As I said, it sounds scary but it isn't that bad. In my hands, that part of the checkup will be easy as pie. Over in no time"
"In your hands.... yeah, right. Funny." Bobby commented grimly.
" So. Who's first?"
"What's on second?" Darien joked, producing a tiny smile.
"Nice try, Darien." Claire complimented from just behind Betsy.
"I had to give it a shot or you wouldn't know it was me."
"True. Bobby? You go to the back of the lab and get into that gown."
"Oh, no! Not with...."
"You weren't about to say with ladies in the room, were you? I know you're not going to tell me you're a unicorn magnet, Mister Hobbes. I wouldn't believe it even if you did." Betsy teased.
"Not exactly. Well, not in every way...."
Claire's eyes widened in surprise and she clamped her lips closed on a laugh. Darien clamped his hand over Bobby's mouth.
"Hobbes! She doesn't need to know everything.... Man."
"Hey, you can't get much more personal with a guy than she's about to get. I figured her knowin' that was no big deal." Bobby countered as he rose to his feet and moved to the other side of the lab. "Go on. All of ya. Turn around."
The others obligingly did as he'd requested. Betsy looked at the floor for a moment, then turned her gaze on Darien.
"So.... that's what the excitement over me being a JP was all about. You two are a couple."
"Yeah, but really, let's talk about it later, okay?"
"That's fine. I should have seen it right off. The... what did you call it, shorthand? That makes a lot more sense now. So cool...."
"Glad you think so. Just... right now I'm havin' a hard enough time tryin' to focus on what's goin' on in the moment, never mind a few months in the future."
"Sorry. I understand." She said, grinning. "I've never actually done a commitment ceremony, but I have no objection. Feel free to call if...."
"Betsy, do I have to clap a hand over *your* mouth to get you to stop?" Claire interrupted. "You'll have to pardon her. She's absolutely incorrigible sometimes!"
"I noticed. Makes her a good match for the three of us, doesn't it?"
"Now that you mention it.... yes." Claire giggled.
"Okay." Bobby announced warily from the other side of the room. "I guess.... I'm ready."
As his partner approached the chair again, one hand clasped tightly behind him to hold the gown together, Darien smiled brightly and moved to meet Bobby, touching his face gently.
"It's gonna be fine. I'm right here. We have to do this, you know that, right? Bobbi needs both of us healthy and strong."
Hobbes stared up at his fiancée and laid his free hand over the one cradling his jaw.
"You gonna call Cheryl back?"
Darien stiffened slightly and his smile wavered.
"It's only been a couple days since.... I need time."
"An' Captain Kirk beamed your homework up to the Enterprise for the Tribbles to do their business on...."
"Bobby, it's different, an' you know damn well..."
"It's not different. Strong an' healthy, you said. That means in every possible way. Are you gonna call her?"
"Yeah. I'll call her when we're done here, okay, super-noudge?"
"More than okay." Bobby responded, placing a swift, light kiss on the corner of Darien's mouth and moving around him to climb back onto the admin. chair which had now been flattened out into an exam table. "Get that screen set up, Claire. We ain't married yet an' he don't see nothin' below the neck until I hear some vows outta him." Bobby joked tensely.
"Even after the wedding it's gonna be a long while before we get anywhere near.... bumpin' booty."
"Darien!" Claire admonished as she finished placing the screen around the chair. "Remind me to spend a few hours introducing you to a dictionary. Your general knowledge is impressive but your vocabulary certainly could use some work."
"Just 'cause I don't talk like I just graduated from Harvard? Big deal.... People who're always throwin' eleven letter words into their conversations are just showin' off...."
Bobby suddenly drew in a sharp breath, causing Darien to immediately refocus his attention. Bobby slipped one had through a gap between the screen and the frame and Darien gripped it tightly.
"Hobbes. You okay?"
"I'm fine. Nothin' but a cold stethescope."
"I'm sorry. I'm right here for you, okay? Try an' relax. It'll be over soon."
"Yeah.... so you say... " Bobby retorted.
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90 MINUTES LATER
"Damn. " Bobby complained quietly to Darien as they perched side by side on the chair. His gaze flicked momentarily to Betsy and Claire standing on the other side of the room, then returned to his knee, where his hand and Darien's lay entwined. "I think I'm kinda... confused. There was a time when I woulda given anything if a woman.... That just felt.... wrong. Really, really wrong..."
"I know. I... I kept thinkin' I should be feeling something... anything. All I felt was cold; cold and sorta.... grimy. I just wanna forget the past hour an' an half ever happened." he replied, pushing away the thought of anyone but Bobby touching him that intimately. Slowly, the idea began to stimulate his imagination and his body took the hint. Embarrassed, he reluctantly derailed the pleasant train of thought, forcing himself to relax and the unwanted reaction to subside. Sighing, Darien rose to his feet and stretched. "I'm gonna need at least an hour of yoga an' a long hot bath when we get home tonight."
"Me too." Bobby agreed. When Darien glanced at him, eyes wide, he responded quickly. "Not together!"
"No! 'Course not. Not yet anyway...."
"Like I said, goofball, after the wedding. *Way* after."
"Will you at least wash my hair again? That did me so much good last time..."
Bobby paused in thought for a moment, then looked up at Darien hopefully.
"Mutual? I'll show you how. It's not that hard."
"Yeah! I've been really hoping you'd offer."
Unfortunately, the two women chose that moment to stroll back over and join the men, receiving a very skewed impression of what little they overheard.
"You said you weren't doing anything beyond an occasional kiss...." Claire said, laughing.
"Get your mind outta the gutter, Keepie! We're talkin' about washin' each others hair..." Bobby reproached her, turning away from the conversation when he heard someone rush into the Keep.
"Albert? What is it? You look upset."
"It's the Official. He wants to see all of us in his office immediately. Apparently Alex took it on herself to search out the records of...."
Realizing someone unknown to him was in the room, Eberts halted suddenly. Betsy took her cue, grabbed her now packed up equipment, gave Claire a quick hug and left, handing Darien a business card as she hurried out.
"Alright, Ebes. Keep goin'. What's up?" Bobby encouraged.
"After the birth, Charles was quite upset about my interference in the matter of Roberta Claire. He never bothered to read the pregnancy diaries you gave him, considering the matter closed. If he had read them... this trouble would have erupted long before now."
"What trouble? What happened?"
"I think I can guess. " Claire replied. "He didn't read them, but Alex has?"
"Unfortunately for us.... yes. She discovered a notation you made about the monitor tattoo. It was obscure, but she's so bright.... she simply filled in the blanks, made an assumption...."
"And took it straight to the Official. Damn...."
"You mean... they know you gave me the cure?" Darien asked, his face pale.
"They think they know." Claire corrected him.
"They'll have their confirmation in a few minutes I'm afraid."
Abruptly, Darien moved from fear to anger.
"Monroe... oh, bitch, you are so about to get damaged...." he growled, pushing the ordeal of the morning to the back burner in favor of a chance to get his hands on Alex. Bobby, fortunately, stopped him before he'd even taken two steps away from the chair..
"Fawkes, no! There's nothin' they can do now. It's too late an' the gruesome twosome have to know that. Trust me, I'd never let anything happen to Claire or you or Bobbi."
"Oh, I trust you. That doesn't mean Alex an' I aren't gonna have a little impolite conversation...." Darien said, lurching forward in an attempt to get away.
"Stop! You know they're just lookin' for a reason to slap you down! You can't give that to 'em, you hear me? You gotta promise me you won't touch Monroe. Promise me, damn it!"
"Okay. For your sake.... I promise I won't lay a pinky finger on her, but she even looks at me sideways..."
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TBC.....
Thanks again to suz for very politely slapping me upside the head when I don't do my research. You're becoming my saving grace. Thank God you're not afraid to crack me a good one when I get lazy! LOL. This chap is significantly different than the version that was here.
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MONDAY MORNING
"Will you please sit down?"
"Uh-uh! Get away from me! You put that down, Claire, or I'm never comin' in the Keep again!"
"Bobby, you are being ridiculous! Get over here...."
"Yeah, right! I got a gun an' I'll use it, I swear...."
"You will not!"
"Well.... okay, so I won't, but you're still not gettin' any closer to me with.... that!"
Disgusted, Claire threw down the exam gown she held and unleashed her secret weapon.
"Robert Albert Leviticus Mercutio Hobbes! You come and sit down in this administering chair or..."
Instantly Bobby whipped around to make sure the door to the soundproofed lab was secure and that noone outside could have heard Claire's intentional indiscretion. When he faced her again, she held up the door remote, sporting an evil grin. He quailed for a minute, then developed a grin of his own.
"You open that door an' I'm gone."
"That's not all this remote does anymore. I've recently programmed it to trigger the building-wide intercom system, just in case the day ever arrived that I was in trouble and couldn't reach the regular controls. Shall I?"
"You've been learnin' blackmail from Eberts."
"Absolutely. Now, if you don't mind...." she said, gesturing at the chair.
"That's just creepy, ya know that?" Bobby commented, desperately trying to stall. When her expression didn't soften in the least, he turned on his best Darien impression. "Aw, c'mon.... don't make me...."
"Building-wide. Everyone, including the Official, is about to know your middle name.... all your middle names I should say." she threatened. Finally Bobby began to move, very slowly, toward where Claire waited. "You can afford to expend a little more energy than that."
Reluctantly, he complied and finally reached the chair, climbing up into it with a fearful, mildly outraged expression.
"It ain't my fault my mom was a Shakespeare freak an' my granddad was a preacher!"
"I never said it was. I just wanted to make clear that I was perfectly willing to take utterly unfair advantage of your family's eccentricities and bad taste. Alright, before we go any further, you will tell me what that fuss was all about. You've never given me such a problem over a simple physical before."
"Simple? You got a strange way with words...."
"Bobby.... I'm sorry, alright? I explained to you...."
"You explained, yeah, but it don't make sense. You don't like the Official's orders anymore than we do. Suddenly he says somethin' an' you drop an' give him twenty. How come?"
"For once he made sense, Bobby. Being over forty puts you at higher risk for cancer and several other things. A hernia exam can uncover more than just that, you know. Every other male agent in your age group will have to suffer the same indignity, so resign yourself, alright? As for why I won't be conducting the exam.... well, I hate to admit it, but he was right about that too. If something grave were to show up in your tests I'm far too close to you to be objective. I'd find it almost impossible to even tell you, never mind help you explore your options... I just can't." she added gently as Darien strolled in and stopped on the other side of Bobby from where Claire stood.
"I'm sorry, man, really. I meant to be here when she told you but the fat man hung me up for an hour tryin' to get me to tell him more than was in my report or yours. Claims he can't authorize payment for another agent in therapy unless he knows the whole story. Jackass..."
"What'd you end up tellin' him?"
"Not half as much as he wanted to know. I said if he won't pay for the treatment, I'll do it myself. He doesn't want me to go. I could see it in his beady little eyes. All he sees is one more stain on the Agency reputation; one more thing for the FBI an' the rest of the acronym squad to laugh about. He thought if he used the money excuse, I'd back down. Boy did he get a surprise."
"Cheryl's not cheap, buddy. If he makes good on that threat...."
"I'll work it out with her somehow. We'll deal with that later if it comes up. We're supposed to be talkin' about you right now. You givin' poor Claire a hard time?"
"Damn right! Nobody's touched my.... you know, since Viv, an' I ain't breakin the streak now!"
"You have to trust me, Bobby. Betsy Young is one of the kindest, gentlest physicians I've ever worked with and she's a wonderful person...."
"You could get Mother Theresa in here an I wouldn't let her... It's just..... I'm not lettin' some stranger.... I've had enough humiliation an' embarrassment to last two lifetimes. Forget it."
Darien leaned in a little and stared directly into Bobby's eyes.
"Bobby. Before we found each other, neither one of us thought much about this kinda thing. Duckin' bullets or stayin' outta jail was pretty much all the health care we had time to worry about. Right?"
"I guess. Yeah, except for the regular blood-work that's part an' parcel a'my meds, you're pretty much right on."
"It's different now. We've got a little girl; someone to stay healthy for. I want us both to be there when she turns twenty-five. Don't tell me you're not livin' for the day she walks into the fat man's office an' makes her own decision whether to sign a paper or spit in his wrinkled, liver- spotted face."
Darien's description conjured up an image of Jabba the Hutt for Bobby and he laughed, in spite of his fear and concern.
"You know I am, Fawkes."
"Then chill out, okay? I know it's not gonna be a party, but we're doin' this for Bobbi."
"We? Who said anything about we?"
"I did. I know I'm young yet an' I know Claire keeps my skinny bod in top shape, but with everything I've been goin' through the past year and a half, I don't wanna take chances. Besides, I didn't want you to have to suffer alone. So? How about it? We doing this?"
"Crap.... you make a good case, kid, but...."
"I'll be right here to help you through it. I swear."
"I know. That's what I'm thinkin' about. I'm gonna need somebody's hand to grab onto.... probably crush, but all we've done is.... no way we're ready to...."
"Oh. Okay.... You're right. Way too much exposure at this point. Ummm...."
"I have an idea that will solve that problem. You...." Claire intoned darkly, pointing at Bobby. "are not to leave. I expect to find you right in that spot when I come back. Understood?"
"Yeah, yeah."
"While I'm gone, you might as well get into the gown. It's right there on the end of the chair."
"No way! No changin' room, nowhere to hide...."
"Darien will turn his back, I'm sure." Claire told him as she opened the door and stepped out. When she discovered her colleague outside about to touch the chime, Claire greeted her with quiet enthusiasm and encouraged the redheaded newcomer to enter.
"Good to see you, Betsy. Go on in. You can help with containment."
"Agent Hobbes eager to bolt is he?"
"The first chance he gets. I had to use blackmail."
"The doctor's most valuable tool." The other woman laughed, hugging Claire briefly. "I'll keep an eye on him. Where are you headed?"
"To find a portable privacy screen. Bolt his shoes to the floor if you have to. I'll be back as soon as I can."
"I'll save you some time. There's one in the lab just down the hall."
"You're a life-saver! Thank you!"
"No problem. Get going."
Claire dashed off and Betsy ambled into the Keep, making sure the door was closed behind her. "Morning, gentlemen. Betsy Young." She said cheerily, extending her hand as she neared the couple. Darien grasped it quickly; Bobby stared at it but refused to offer his hand in return. "Mmm- hmm. Now I know which is which." she chuckled.
"Hi. Just for the sake of courtesy, I'm Darien Fawkes. That's Bobby Hobbes. Don't pay any attention to his completely rude behavior." Darien commented, elbowing Bobby in an effort to get him to loosen up. "He's a little.... nervous."
"Nervous?! Try freakin' terrified..." the smaller man mumbled.
"Bobby, I told you it's okay. I'm not goin' anywhere...."
"Please. Who wouldn't be scared?" she admitted, claiming a stool near the foot of the admin. chair and setting the small bag she carried by her left foot. "I'll be the first to admit how embarrassing and uncomfortable this can be. Trust me, I understand, but it's only fair. We had to find some way to get revenge for men inventing the specialty of gynecology."
Darien turned away, blushing intensely and laughing like a loon. Bobby was guffawing so hard he nearly fell off the chair. When he finally recovered, he sat forward, pulling one leg in close to his body, and faced Betsy eye to eye.
"Okay. So you've got a decent sense of humor. What else do I need to know before I let you just.... do this?"
"About me or the exam?"
"Either. You choose."
"How about a little of both? I've been working here since about 1993. Before that I was a G.P., but I felt like I wanted a more personal connection with my patients. I wanted to feel like I was really making a difference for individuals, not HMO's."
"Personal connection." Darien snickered. "I guess that's one way to put it."
Bobby elbowed his fiancée this time, though with more force than he'd received.
"Hey!"
"Quit interruptin' and quit with the questionable comments, okay? Go on, doc."
"Betsy, please. I prefer most people to use my first name. The ones I like anyway, and you two are definitely in that category. I knew the minute I saw you both. Let's see, where was I? Oh, right. I talked to an old professor of mine who turned me on to medical service for the government and nine years later, here I am. Oh, and I also sing karaoke and I hold a J.P. license. That's Justice of the Peace for the uninitiated."
Darien and Bobby both gazed intently at her then turned their eyes to each other, slow smiles blossoming on their faces.
"You thinkin'..." Bobby began.
"Maybe. Let's get past this first."
"Yeah, right. We may not...."
"No, but I get a feelin'..."
"Me too. I mean we're never..."
"It's real....
"....unlikely. Yeah. Definite maybe."
"Definite."
Throughout the rapid, truncated conversation, Betsy simply kept looking from one to the other, growing more and more bewildered. When they finally finished, she blinked rapidly once or twice and finally spoke up.
"Translation into English if noone minds terribly?"
"Sorry. We've been tryin' not to do that so much. It freaks people out. A friend of ours calls it shorthand speech. See, as partners, we're so close sometimes it just.... happens."
"We'll give you the gist of it later." Bobby demurred. "Let's see how this.... exam goes first. Then, we might have some stuff to talk about. For now...."
Over the next few minutes, Betsy explained the basics of the procedure to both men and watched their eyes grow wider and wider. When Claire returned, the readhead paused to greet her friend then returned to her conversation with the men.
"That.... that's it, huh?" Darien forced out.
"As I said, it sounds scary but it isn't that bad. In my hands, that part of the checkup will be easy as pie. Over in no time"
"In your hands.... yeah, right. Funny." Bobby commented grimly.
" So. Who's first?"
"What's on second?" Darien joked, producing a tiny smile.
"Nice try, Darien." Claire complimented from just behind Betsy.
"I had to give it a shot or you wouldn't know it was me."
"True. Bobby? You go to the back of the lab and get into that gown."
"Oh, no! Not with...."
"You weren't about to say with ladies in the room, were you? I know you're not going to tell me you're a unicorn magnet, Mister Hobbes. I wouldn't believe it even if you did." Betsy teased.
"Not exactly. Well, not in every way...."
Claire's eyes widened in surprise and she clamped her lips closed on a laugh. Darien clamped his hand over Bobby's mouth.
"Hobbes! She doesn't need to know everything.... Man."
"Hey, you can't get much more personal with a guy than she's about to get. I figured her knowin' that was no big deal." Bobby countered as he rose to his feet and moved to the other side of the lab. "Go on. All of ya. Turn around."
The others obligingly did as he'd requested. Betsy looked at the floor for a moment, then turned her gaze on Darien.
"So.... that's what the excitement over me being a JP was all about. You two are a couple."
"Yeah, but really, let's talk about it later, okay?"
"That's fine. I should have seen it right off. The... what did you call it, shorthand? That makes a lot more sense now. So cool...."
"Glad you think so. Just... right now I'm havin' a hard enough time tryin' to focus on what's goin' on in the moment, never mind a few months in the future."
"Sorry. I understand." She said, grinning. "I've never actually done a commitment ceremony, but I have no objection. Feel free to call if...."
"Betsy, do I have to clap a hand over *your* mouth to get you to stop?" Claire interrupted. "You'll have to pardon her. She's absolutely incorrigible sometimes!"
"I noticed. Makes her a good match for the three of us, doesn't it?"
"Now that you mention it.... yes." Claire giggled.
"Okay." Bobby announced warily from the other side of the room. "I guess.... I'm ready."
As his partner approached the chair again, one hand clasped tightly behind him to hold the gown together, Darien smiled brightly and moved to meet Bobby, touching his face gently.
"It's gonna be fine. I'm right here. We have to do this, you know that, right? Bobbi needs both of us healthy and strong."
Hobbes stared up at his fiancée and laid his free hand over the one cradling his jaw.
"You gonna call Cheryl back?"
Darien stiffened slightly and his smile wavered.
"It's only been a couple days since.... I need time."
"An' Captain Kirk beamed your homework up to the Enterprise for the Tribbles to do their business on...."
"Bobby, it's different, an' you know damn well..."
"It's not different. Strong an' healthy, you said. That means in every possible way. Are you gonna call her?"
"Yeah. I'll call her when we're done here, okay, super-noudge?"
"More than okay." Bobby responded, placing a swift, light kiss on the corner of Darien's mouth and moving around him to climb back onto the admin. chair which had now been flattened out into an exam table. "Get that screen set up, Claire. We ain't married yet an' he don't see nothin' below the neck until I hear some vows outta him." Bobby joked tensely.
"Even after the wedding it's gonna be a long while before we get anywhere near.... bumpin' booty."
"Darien!" Claire admonished as she finished placing the screen around the chair. "Remind me to spend a few hours introducing you to a dictionary. Your general knowledge is impressive but your vocabulary certainly could use some work."
"Just 'cause I don't talk like I just graduated from Harvard? Big deal.... People who're always throwin' eleven letter words into their conversations are just showin' off...."
Bobby suddenly drew in a sharp breath, causing Darien to immediately refocus his attention. Bobby slipped one had through a gap between the screen and the frame and Darien gripped it tightly.
"Hobbes. You okay?"
"I'm fine. Nothin' but a cold stethescope."
"I'm sorry. I'm right here for you, okay? Try an' relax. It'll be over soon."
"Yeah.... so you say... " Bobby retorted.
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90 MINUTES LATER
"Damn. " Bobby complained quietly to Darien as they perched side by side on the chair. His gaze flicked momentarily to Betsy and Claire standing on the other side of the room, then returned to his knee, where his hand and Darien's lay entwined. "I think I'm kinda... confused. There was a time when I woulda given anything if a woman.... That just felt.... wrong. Really, really wrong..."
"I know. I... I kept thinkin' I should be feeling something... anything. All I felt was cold; cold and sorta.... grimy. I just wanna forget the past hour an' an half ever happened." he replied, pushing away the thought of anyone but Bobby touching him that intimately. Slowly, the idea began to stimulate his imagination and his body took the hint. Embarrassed, he reluctantly derailed the pleasant train of thought, forcing himself to relax and the unwanted reaction to subside. Sighing, Darien rose to his feet and stretched. "I'm gonna need at least an hour of yoga an' a long hot bath when we get home tonight."
"Me too." Bobby agreed. When Darien glanced at him, eyes wide, he responded quickly. "Not together!"
"No! 'Course not. Not yet anyway...."
"Like I said, goofball, after the wedding. *Way* after."
"Will you at least wash my hair again? That did me so much good last time..."
Bobby paused in thought for a moment, then looked up at Darien hopefully.
"Mutual? I'll show you how. It's not that hard."
"Yeah! I've been really hoping you'd offer."
Unfortunately, the two women chose that moment to stroll back over and join the men, receiving a very skewed impression of what little they overheard.
"You said you weren't doing anything beyond an occasional kiss...." Claire said, laughing.
"Get your mind outta the gutter, Keepie! We're talkin' about washin' each others hair..." Bobby reproached her, turning away from the conversation when he heard someone rush into the Keep.
"Albert? What is it? You look upset."
"It's the Official. He wants to see all of us in his office immediately. Apparently Alex took it on herself to search out the records of...."
Realizing someone unknown to him was in the room, Eberts halted suddenly. Betsy took her cue, grabbed her now packed up equipment, gave Claire a quick hug and left, handing Darien a business card as she hurried out.
"Alright, Ebes. Keep goin'. What's up?" Bobby encouraged.
"After the birth, Charles was quite upset about my interference in the matter of Roberta Claire. He never bothered to read the pregnancy diaries you gave him, considering the matter closed. If he had read them... this trouble would have erupted long before now."
"What trouble? What happened?"
"I think I can guess. " Claire replied. "He didn't read them, but Alex has?"
"Unfortunately for us.... yes. She discovered a notation you made about the monitor tattoo. It was obscure, but she's so bright.... she simply filled in the blanks, made an assumption...."
"And took it straight to the Official. Damn...."
"You mean... they know you gave me the cure?" Darien asked, his face pale.
"They think they know." Claire corrected him.
"They'll have their confirmation in a few minutes I'm afraid."
Abruptly, Darien moved from fear to anger.
"Monroe... oh, bitch, you are so about to get damaged...." he growled, pushing the ordeal of the morning to the back burner in favor of a chance to get his hands on Alex. Bobby, fortunately, stopped him before he'd even taken two steps away from the chair..
"Fawkes, no! There's nothin' they can do now. It's too late an' the gruesome twosome have to know that. Trust me, I'd never let anything happen to Claire or you or Bobbi."
"Oh, I trust you. That doesn't mean Alex an' I aren't gonna have a little impolite conversation...." Darien said, lurching forward in an attempt to get away.
"Stop! You know they're just lookin' for a reason to slap you down! You can't give that to 'em, you hear me? You gotta promise me you won't touch Monroe. Promise me, damn it!"
"Okay. For your sake.... I promise I won't lay a pinky finger on her, but she even looks at me sideways..."
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TBC.....