Before Super Smash Brothers
By origreatguy
I don't own Nintendo, Hal Laboratories or Olive Garden. Also, I had a little help from a book by Suzee Vlk with the big words Bowser says. There, I said it, now I don't have to worry about getting my pants sued off. *receives a letter hand-delivered to him* Let's see, oh, cripes! I'm getting my pants sued off! It seems that they were the true reason for Bill Gates' butt being painted white! Got to run; I hope I'm not being sued for any monetary value.
Sign-up sheets were all over the bulletin boards at every Nintendo headquarters around the world. They were completely filled up. When the deadline had passed, Mario, Luigi, Toad, Peach, Bowser, Yoshi, a Shy Guy and a Goomba were all heading from the Mushroom Kingdom toward the virtual HQ that all video game characters go to that isn't really in any place. This was a compromise between the European, American and Japanese HQs.
"Beat up Bowser, Mario, or I'll make sure I do the same to you!" Peach exploded.
"All right-a, all right-a. It's not-a my fault I got-a walloped. That idiot-a brother of mine gave away-a my position with his awful-a singing," Mario whined.
"Hey, I'm-a right here, you know," Luigi shot back.
"The things I do for an Italian wuss!" Peach said, exasperated. At once, thousands of Olive Garden employees began to charge toward Peach, pummeling her with every move. The scene was violent, but soon stopped after each employee got a severe burning. They dashed away into their respective restaurants, leaving the whole group amazed at the source of the fire.
"Bowser? What did you do that-a for?" Mario asked.
"I'm trying to make sure we get there on time, remember?" Bowser said. "I'm the one who actually had to fight through a large mob to get to the sign-up sheets. You, Mario, on the other hand, have gazillions of fans filled with adulation. No one dared to keep you from coming."
"Adulation? What the heck?" the Goomba asked.
"It's the act of hero worship," Bowser explained simply.
"And may I ask-a how you got to know such a word-a?" Mario asked with a smirk.
"Well, uh, er, hmm, let's see now, um," he stammered.
"Oooooh, someone's-a boning up-a on vocabulary! Please-a, tell me the other words you learned," Mario requested with a huge grin spreading across his face.
"NO!" Bowser refused.
"I'll kick your-a hiney halfway to the moon if you don't-a!" Mario threatened.
"All right!" Bowser surrendered. "Pusillanimous means cowardly, pulchritudinous means beautiful, parsimonious means being a cheapskate, garrulousness is being talkative, to ossify is to make into bone, an archipelago is a group of islands, to scintillate is to twinkle..." Bowser continued while everyone laughed, even Peach. When he was done, Bowser stomped the ground in a furious rage.
"If I hear word of this going around to anyone else in the universe, I'll personally marinate the person whose fault it is ALIVE!" Bowser roared.
"Come on-a, it was just a joke," Mario said.
"Sure it was." Within moments, the whole posse had made it to the patent pending Big Fat Virtual Portal Thingabob. It looked like a small arch with some rainbow semi-liquid stuff suspended in the walls.
"Hey, aren't we virtual anyway?" Toad asked.
"I. Don't. CARE! Let's just get in the thing!" Bowser ordered. They all did. Once this happened, they felt that they were being hurled through a tunnel. The ride was very psychedelic, but very bumpy. They felt like they were going to throw up at any minute. (Note: this tunnel thing comes straight from a snowman story I made in 5th grade, which is my best schoolwork yet, at least in my opinion.)
At last, when the ride was over, they all fell into a rectangular room that was packed full of Nintendo stars. There was Donkey Kong, Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, Captain Falcon, Ness (whom Mario hadn't seen in years) and five Pokemon, which included Mewtwo and Mew. Naturally, every human being in the room was trying to catch Mew and Mewtwo, and every human being in the room got pummeled out of the virtual HQ by the energy balls that had been fired at them. All of a sudden, Celebii popped up.
"How come I don't get to be in this story? I'm better than any of those worthless Pokemon, even Mew and Mewtwo," she complained.
"You know why!" I said, also popping up out of nowhere. "This is NOT 2002! How many times do I have to break it to you guys?"
"Well, if it's not 2002, I'll make it 2002! I have time control, you know." Celebii used her power to force everyone in the room into 2002. It didn't work.
"What happened?" Celebii asked, angered and slightly scared.
"Duh. This IS 2002, but we're pretending it's 1999. Haven't you watched a single movie in all your infinite years on this Earth?" I answered, obviously annoyed.
"Uh, heh heh heh. Bye." With that, Celebii zoomed away and left everybody thoroughly confused.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Samus Aran could be seen too, as well as Kraid (it was difficult for that big reptilian body to fit in HQ), Ridley, a Metroid, Marth, Roy, the whole Star Fox team, a totally black LCD character, some kids in headbands, Ash (who somehow didn't get zapped away when he tried to get Mew), and for some strange reason, there was also the biblical man Noah.
"Noah? What are you doing in a Nintendo convention?" Peach asked.
"It turns out I was a character in some NES game. I used to be all for love and peace and all that, but now it's time for me to kick some butt." Just after that, the MAN came. It was the head honcho, the big cheese, leader of them all: Shigeru Miyamoto.
"Ladies, gentleman, kids and et cetera, we would like to welcome you all to an exciting tournament which will determine who gets to participate in Super Smash Brothers, our upcoming game. The tournament spreadsheet is to the left of Ms. Aran there. Everyone looked at their names, glanced at their opponents, and knew that this was for all the marbles, even the cats- eyes and clearies.
I don't own Nintendo, Hal Laboratories or Olive Garden. Also, I had a little help from a book by Suzee Vlk with the big words Bowser says. There, I said it, now I don't have to worry about getting my pants sued off. *receives a letter hand-delivered to him* Let's see, oh, cripes! I'm getting my pants sued off! It seems that they were the true reason for Bill Gates' butt being painted white! Got to run; I hope I'm not being sued for any monetary value.
Sign-up sheets were all over the bulletin boards at every Nintendo headquarters around the world. They were completely filled up. When the deadline had passed, Mario, Luigi, Toad, Peach, Bowser, Yoshi, a Shy Guy and a Goomba were all heading from the Mushroom Kingdom toward the virtual HQ that all video game characters go to that isn't really in any place. This was a compromise between the European, American and Japanese HQs.
"Beat up Bowser, Mario, or I'll make sure I do the same to you!" Peach exploded.
"All right-a, all right-a. It's not-a my fault I got-a walloped. That idiot-a brother of mine gave away-a my position with his awful-a singing," Mario whined.
"Hey, I'm-a right here, you know," Luigi shot back.
"The things I do for an Italian wuss!" Peach said, exasperated. At once, thousands of Olive Garden employees began to charge toward Peach, pummeling her with every move. The scene was violent, but soon stopped after each employee got a severe burning. They dashed away into their respective restaurants, leaving the whole group amazed at the source of the fire.
"Bowser? What did you do that-a for?" Mario asked.
"I'm trying to make sure we get there on time, remember?" Bowser said. "I'm the one who actually had to fight through a large mob to get to the sign-up sheets. You, Mario, on the other hand, have gazillions of fans filled with adulation. No one dared to keep you from coming."
"Adulation? What the heck?" the Goomba asked.
"It's the act of hero worship," Bowser explained simply.
"And may I ask-a how you got to know such a word-a?" Mario asked with a smirk.
"Well, uh, er, hmm, let's see now, um," he stammered.
"Oooooh, someone's-a boning up-a on vocabulary! Please-a, tell me the other words you learned," Mario requested with a huge grin spreading across his face.
"NO!" Bowser refused.
"I'll kick your-a hiney halfway to the moon if you don't-a!" Mario threatened.
"All right!" Bowser surrendered. "Pusillanimous means cowardly, pulchritudinous means beautiful, parsimonious means being a cheapskate, garrulousness is being talkative, to ossify is to make into bone, an archipelago is a group of islands, to scintillate is to twinkle..." Bowser continued while everyone laughed, even Peach. When he was done, Bowser stomped the ground in a furious rage.
"If I hear word of this going around to anyone else in the universe, I'll personally marinate the person whose fault it is ALIVE!" Bowser roared.
"Come on-a, it was just a joke," Mario said.
"Sure it was." Within moments, the whole posse had made it to the patent pending Big Fat Virtual Portal Thingabob. It looked like a small arch with some rainbow semi-liquid stuff suspended in the walls.
"Hey, aren't we virtual anyway?" Toad asked.
"I. Don't. CARE! Let's just get in the thing!" Bowser ordered. They all did. Once this happened, they felt that they were being hurled through a tunnel. The ride was very psychedelic, but very bumpy. They felt like they were going to throw up at any minute. (Note: this tunnel thing comes straight from a snowman story I made in 5th grade, which is my best schoolwork yet, at least in my opinion.)
At last, when the ride was over, they all fell into a rectangular room that was packed full of Nintendo stars. There was Donkey Kong, Link, Zelda, Ganondorf, Captain Falcon, Ness (whom Mario hadn't seen in years) and five Pokemon, which included Mewtwo and Mew. Naturally, every human being in the room was trying to catch Mew and Mewtwo, and every human being in the room got pummeled out of the virtual HQ by the energy balls that had been fired at them. All of a sudden, Celebii popped up.
"How come I don't get to be in this story? I'm better than any of those worthless Pokemon, even Mew and Mewtwo," she complained.
"You know why!" I said, also popping up out of nowhere. "This is NOT 2002! How many times do I have to break it to you guys?"
"Well, if it's not 2002, I'll make it 2002! I have time control, you know." Celebii used her power to force everyone in the room into 2002. It didn't work.
"What happened?" Celebii asked, angered and slightly scared.
"Duh. This IS 2002, but we're pretending it's 1999. Haven't you watched a single movie in all your infinite years on this Earth?" I answered, obviously annoyed.
"Uh, heh heh heh. Bye." With that, Celebii zoomed away and left everybody thoroughly confused.
Where was I? Oh, yeah. Samus Aran could be seen too, as well as Kraid (it was difficult for that big reptilian body to fit in HQ), Ridley, a Metroid, Marth, Roy, the whole Star Fox team, a totally black LCD character, some kids in headbands, Ash (who somehow didn't get zapped away when he tried to get Mew), and for some strange reason, there was also the biblical man Noah.
"Noah? What are you doing in a Nintendo convention?" Peach asked.
"It turns out I was a character in some NES game. I used to be all for love and peace and all that, but now it's time for me to kick some butt." Just after that, the MAN came. It was the head honcho, the big cheese, leader of them all: Shigeru Miyamoto.
"Ladies, gentleman, kids and et cetera, we would like to welcome you all to an exciting tournament which will determine who gets to participate in Super Smash Brothers, our upcoming game. The tournament spreadsheet is to the left of Ms. Aran there. Everyone looked at their names, glanced at their opponents, and knew that this was for all the marbles, even the cats- eyes and clearies.