Sorry for not updating; it's just that I had lots of stuff to do....
Anyway, I don't own any of the companies noted in this story, but I own the
story. I bet you're wondering what happened when Bill Gates sued me. I
was going to win, seeing as all the evidence pointed to my innocence, but
then that !@#$!@# billionaire Bill Gates offered to give $5,000,000 to
every member of the jury if they said I was guilty! Needless to say, I
will have to give that obscenely wealthy person more money than he really
needs. Here's hoping I don't have to sell my computer! Hey, what are you
doing? Give me back that monitor! No, don't touch the modem! Well, at
least I have my backup drive; oh, great, me and my big mouth. DON'T TAKE
IT AWAY! My novel is there and it's going to get me lots of money!
The tournament arrangement was designed so that the battles would be as equal as possible. So when the first battle was about to go underway...
"HEADBAND BOY VERSUS HEADBAND GIRL! STAGE IS 100 M DASH TRACK!" the announcer yelled. They were the stars of the Track and Field games, all the way from the NES, and had been given an updated 3-D look. They liked it a lot, and spent the first 2 minutes of the battle admiring themselves.
"HEADBAND KIDS! IF YOU DON'T START BATTLING, YOU'LL BOTH BE DISQUALIFIED!" the announcer roared, as the frightened kids began to duel.
Headband Boy started pumping air into his bubble, which he promptly entered when it was full. Meanwhile, Headband Girl was on her skateboard, trying to get to Headband Boy as soon as possible. However, he immediately jumped up and threw his bubble on to his female counterpart. It hurt.
"OWWWWWWWW! That hurt!" Headband Girl cried midst tears of anguish. Headband Boy immediately took pity on her.
"Are you OK?" he asked, but as soon as he finished the sentence, he was smacked upside the head by Headband Girl's skateboard.
"You're gonna pay!" the athlete shouted shortly after his concussion. He grabbed his tug-of-war rope and whipped Headband Girl on the back. The fighting was extremely gruesome, yet no one was going out of the ring. Just before blood showed, which would force me to bump the rating to PG-13, a miracle happened.
"GAME!" the announcer shouted.
"What? No one was forced out of the ring!" Headband Boy exclaimed. The announcer answered his disbelief.
"SUDDEN DEATH!" I, however, saw a problem with that.
"No death!" I said, again popping out of nowhere. "One of the purposes of this story is to show that this is not a bad game for kids! We can't have death, so find another word."
"Uh, OK, uh, SUDDEN WALLOPING!"
"Better," I approved.
The fight resumed, after each fighter drank a potion to instantly put them to 300% damage. The game was soon over when Headband Girl sped over to Headband Boy, again with the skateboard, and hit him in the shins with the kicktail. The male sprinter flew out of the ring, and the announcer once again called game.
"GAME!" the announcer called.
"You moron! I just said that you said that!" I said in a rage.
"Come on, it's my job," the loud one pleaded.
"Not anymore, it isn't. Now hand me that microphone."
"Aw, f-" he attempted to swear.
"OH NO YOU DON'T! THIS STORY IS FOR KIDS, AND YOU HAVE BROKEN THE FIRST OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF KID FANFICS, WHICH IS 'THOU SHALT NOT SWEAR'! I, AS AUTHOR, SHALL NOW PERFORM THE SNAP OF NON-EXISTENCE ON YOU!" I bellowed. He begged and pleaded, but with a single snap of my fingers, he never existed. No wonder everyone was so confused when I talked about him.
Anyway, back to the fight. Headband Girl enjoyed her victory over her male mirror image, but not for long, as they began their epic tussle once more.
"Enough! You are both disqualified, and the winner of the match between Noah and Ash gets a bye the next round!" I ordered as the kids were hauled away by security, still extremely bloodthirsty.
Man. If some kids could be as violent as that, I'd better skip across the other battles. So when everything was over, this sheet was out up next to the Big Fat Virtual Portal Thingabob.
Winners: Mario, Peach, Kirby, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Link, Captain Falcon, Ness, Samus Aran, Fox McCloud, Mr. Game and Watch, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Noah. Noah receives a bye.
When the news of the winner of this bye spread through HQ, Noah just smiled and said, "It's the power of God." Everyone suspected differently.
The tournament arrangement was designed so that the battles would be as equal as possible. So when the first battle was about to go underway...
"HEADBAND BOY VERSUS HEADBAND GIRL! STAGE IS 100 M DASH TRACK!" the announcer yelled. They were the stars of the Track and Field games, all the way from the NES, and had been given an updated 3-D look. They liked it a lot, and spent the first 2 minutes of the battle admiring themselves.
"HEADBAND KIDS! IF YOU DON'T START BATTLING, YOU'LL BOTH BE DISQUALIFIED!" the announcer roared, as the frightened kids began to duel.
Headband Boy started pumping air into his bubble, which he promptly entered when it was full. Meanwhile, Headband Girl was on her skateboard, trying to get to Headband Boy as soon as possible. However, he immediately jumped up and threw his bubble on to his female counterpart. It hurt.
"OWWWWWWWW! That hurt!" Headband Girl cried midst tears of anguish. Headband Boy immediately took pity on her.
"Are you OK?" he asked, but as soon as he finished the sentence, he was smacked upside the head by Headband Girl's skateboard.
"You're gonna pay!" the athlete shouted shortly after his concussion. He grabbed his tug-of-war rope and whipped Headband Girl on the back. The fighting was extremely gruesome, yet no one was going out of the ring. Just before blood showed, which would force me to bump the rating to PG-13, a miracle happened.
"GAME!" the announcer shouted.
"What? No one was forced out of the ring!" Headband Boy exclaimed. The announcer answered his disbelief.
"SUDDEN DEATH!" I, however, saw a problem with that.
"No death!" I said, again popping out of nowhere. "One of the purposes of this story is to show that this is not a bad game for kids! We can't have death, so find another word."
"Uh, OK, uh, SUDDEN WALLOPING!"
"Better," I approved.
The fight resumed, after each fighter drank a potion to instantly put them to 300% damage. The game was soon over when Headband Girl sped over to Headband Boy, again with the skateboard, and hit him in the shins with the kicktail. The male sprinter flew out of the ring, and the announcer once again called game.
"GAME!" the announcer called.
"You moron! I just said that you said that!" I said in a rage.
"Come on, it's my job," the loud one pleaded.
"Not anymore, it isn't. Now hand me that microphone."
"Aw, f-" he attempted to swear.
"OH NO YOU DON'T! THIS STORY IS FOR KIDS, AND YOU HAVE BROKEN THE FIRST OF THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF KID FANFICS, WHICH IS 'THOU SHALT NOT SWEAR'! I, AS AUTHOR, SHALL NOW PERFORM THE SNAP OF NON-EXISTENCE ON YOU!" I bellowed. He begged and pleaded, but with a single snap of my fingers, he never existed. No wonder everyone was so confused when I talked about him.
Anyway, back to the fight. Headband Girl enjoyed her victory over her male mirror image, but not for long, as they began their epic tussle once more.
"Enough! You are both disqualified, and the winner of the match between Noah and Ash gets a bye the next round!" I ordered as the kids were hauled away by security, still extremely bloodthirsty.
Man. If some kids could be as violent as that, I'd better skip across the other battles. So when everything was over, this sheet was out up next to the Big Fat Virtual Portal Thingabob.
Winners: Mario, Peach, Kirby, Yoshi, Donkey Kong, Link, Captain Falcon, Ness, Samus Aran, Fox McCloud, Mr. Game and Watch, Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Noah. Noah receives a bye.
When the news of the winner of this bye spread through HQ, Noah just smiled and said, "It's the power of God." Everyone suspected differently.