* * * * * * *2
Tenten wiped her forehead.
It was getting hot. She was getting tired.
Training was good, but under the sun's blaze it was more like self-inflicted torture.
She picked up the kunais and shurikens she had thrown at the trees.
Gai-sensei wasn't there. He was never there anyway.
So they could do as they pleased, train the way they wanted.
After all, they weren't kids anymore.
The girl sighed tiredly.
Her team-mate was still practising some moves. He never gave it a rest.
The two of her team-mates never gave it a rest.
She smiled. A sad smile.
Then her face lit up.
"Say Neji-kun. What about paying Lee a visit? It has been a week already..."
The boy stopped.
His vein-scarred face gazed at the girl with an unreadable expression.
Angry or annoyed?
"What for?"
"What do you mean 'what for'? He must be bored all alone there."
The boy raised a annoyed eyebrow.
"I've got better things to do than babysitting an idiot who hurt himself on purpose."
Tenten startled. Then frowned.
"Neji-kun, you perfectly know why Lee-kun----"
The face remained impassive.
"That's not my business. Go see him alone."
"As you want..."
She took her jacket and several steps forward.
"...please try to rest from time to time. You too look very tired, Neji-kun."
Eyes slowly closed.
Hands moved, executing quick signs.
Wind rose up.
Air sparkles around him.
Eyes jerked open.
He flew to the logs surrounding him. His fists struck at incredible speed, his legs kicked with an amazing grace. In a blur, all of the logs had exploded and disappeared in the air.
Eyes were closed again.
He was back to his first position. Then suddenly lashed his fist against the air.
"Take it easy, Neji..." a deep voice started.
The boy opened his eyes.
"...It's only me."
Gai-sensei had seized his arm.
He frowned.
The man had the bad habit of appearing without warning. One day he would regret it.
"What did you come for, sensei?" he asked, freeing his arm.
The man looked at the surroundings. Shattered trees, broken shurikens. The practise ground was slashed with steps marks. He raised an appreciative eyebrow and smiled.
"To talk..."
"About?"
"You."
Neji's face became severe.
"Tenten is worrying about you."
"Why would she?"
"She knows you've been training really hard. Even harder than you used to do."
"...That's none of her business."
Gai chuckled.
"She knew you would say that. But as for me..."
"I don't see-------"
"...I hope it has nothing to do with what happened during the Chuunin tournament prelims."
He quickly dismissed the surprise showing on his composed face.
"I don't want to talk about it."
"Neji." Gai called seriously. "You are a shinobi, you do things the way you esteem right. But we've talked about this before. And you promised me not to lose your mind on the Main and Branch family thing. I'm expecting you not to break your promise."
"I won't."
"Good. You may continue your training." He vanished.
He closed his eyes as questions assaulted his uncertain mind.
He was over with that matter, wasn't he? That day Hiashi-sama told him the truth about his father's death, he had understood all his grief was pointless. He had understood his resentment was leading him no where. He had understood he was weak, so weak his Hyuga blood didn't prevent him from losing to a rookie. That was the reason why he had decided to become strong.
But after what Gai-sensei had told him, he couldn't help but wonder. Could it be that these feelings hadn't totally dissipated? Could it be that he wanted to become strong as a revenge on the Main family? Was it that all this time he has been going round in a circle, chained and fooled by his resentment? He couldn't accept that. He knew he had moved on.
All these doubts were pointless.
He is getting strong.
Red drops splashed on the immaculate surface.
Blood dripped on the marble.
The boy kept on walking, blind to his own suffering.
"You're early to---"
The woman's eyes widened in fright.
"Neji!"
She ran to her son.
He frowned.
"What happened? It's the mission isn't it?! You're still a gennin! Why did your sensei assign you to such a dangerous mission??!..." she kept on blabbering, anxious. "Let me see your arm..."
He slapped her hands away.
Her now blurry eyes looked at him, bewildered.
"Neji...why..."
"I can take care of myself."
She winced.
"Your arm is practically ripped off, you can't----"
His hard look cut her off.
Her eyes softened.
"You are training too much. Look at yourself. If you keep on like that you'll...you'll..."
"I'm not a loser. I'm not a weakling!"
He glared, furious. Veins were threatening to invade his face.
She took a step backwards.
"Neji, what's wrong? Did I---"
"Leave me alone..." he angrily spat turning away.
Her lips parted as if to say something that never came out.
He laid on the ground.
His breath panting.
His face sweating.
His body sweating blood under the bandages.
The sun kept on burning his skin.
It felt like hell.
He wasn't getting stronger. He had been fooling himself.
All these days training, it was more like killing himself...since he wasn't getting any stronger. He wasn't getting any near to that power.
Naruto was simply unreachable. He was far beyond his grip. His power at another level.
He had been a fool to believe he could become strong. He was a loser.
He chuckled.
Things sometimes were getting strange. Strangely ironical.
He had always thought of the guy as a loser, because he had no situation, because unlike him he didn't belong to any great clan. He had never thought of him as a serious opponent before the Chuunin tournament. Even now he still didn't.
But now, it was for another reason. Now, he was the weak one, he was the loser. At least now he was aware of his weakness. He knew it was useless to try. He knew he would never be stronger than Naruto. And unlike Lee, he accepted that fact.
It was no use straining himself for nothing.
But...there was no pride in knowing your weakness either.
Neji closed his eyes with resignation.
The sun would always be stronger than him.
The heat was eating his strength away.
He suddenly felt very tired.
He wanted to lay there forever.
He wanted to close his eyes forever.
He wanted a very deep sleep.
So he could never feel this shame again.