Disclaimer: All Valdemar related items in the below story are the possessions of Mercedes Lackey, not me.

I plodded tiredly after the caravan. It had been days since I last got true rest or food. Sure I could graze as I went, but large equine shaped animals need more than a mouthful of grass every now an then to keep up a steady canter.

I was searching for someone, someone important, I remembered that much. It had been getting harder for me to remember anything though. My chosen, that's who I had to find … her name was, um, Asia? No I realized; that was my name. I should remember my chosen's name. Should and do are so very different though. After thinking for a moment I come up with that name, Elsa. Such a pretty name, and it belongs to my chosen.

I like being able to think that. My chosen, I am late choosing, I know companions close to half my age already with a chosen. I heard some of the older companions talking about it. I used to wonder if anyone had simply never chosen before, I couldn't think of any off the top of my head, but I never cared for history, and happening before has never been a prerequisite for problems.

As I thought this I realized I had wandered in among the wagons that made up the caravan. Elsa was here. I had been chasing that caravan for close to two weeks. My poor dress tack was ruined, beyond repair I thought, and I looked to be an unidentifiable shade of gray-brown beneath my layer of muck and dust. My normally flowing mane and tail had gone from silky white to a dirty yellow snarled mat. None of that mattered because I finally had found my Chosen.

I had lost the name again, I knew that my chosen's name was something to never forget, but it had just flown from my mind. I realized I felt sick, really sick. My chosen could help me soon though, until then nothing else mattered. I had to hunt down that name again.

:Elsa!: I cried gleefully upon gleaning it from the thoughts in my head :I'm going to find you, Elsa…: I hadn't meant to broadcast that but there is was for all the world to hear.

:Go away! I don't want you to find me.: came the bitter angry reply. I wondered who the smooth mature voice came from, it had the mature quality of an adult, yet the accent and words spoke of late childhood.

I was too tired to respond; besides the voice was unimportant, I had to find my chosen. I was getting closer, I could feel it.

I shuffled past a wagon and there she was, older than I had thought, but still my chosen, I knew it the moment I saw her leading a pack mule. She was wearing bright pink and blue and I simply couldn't hang back anymore.

:Chosen: I cried happily :My chosen, Elsa!:

:I can't hear you,: the sophisticated voice that had greeted my earlier call responded, with a hint of fear :Go away and leave me be! Get out of my mind! I don't have magic:

Obviously my chosen had been trained; she spoke as well as any aged herald I had heard already. So why was she denying that had mind-magic. Why would she deny me, okay so maybe I hadn't exactly introduced myself in the most conventional manner, but I wasn't feeling well, surely my chosen could understand that?

:But, I choose you; I can't leave you, Elsa, look at me:

I gave her my best puppy eye, quite a sight on something roughly the size and shape of a horse. The comical effect was wasted on her though; she didn't even glance at me. Instead she buried her face in the mule's neck. I was the only equine I wanted her that close to! There was something wrong here.

There was a simple remedy for that; I thrust my nose into her face, nuzzling her gently.

:Trust me, I love you:

:Liar: Elsa replied firmly :Who are you?:

:I am your companion …: suddenly I drew a blank where my name should be, after a moment's panic it came to me though, :Asia. I want to help you:

:Prove it:

Something was wrong I realized. My chosen should not be fighting with me, she shouldn't mistrust me. Weren't chosen glad to have a companion? Didn't children dream of hearing they had been chosen by a white companion?

:I am a companion, get on my back and I will prove it: definitely something wrong.

:You aren't even white:

:Mud: I sighed, my chosen would probably clean me once we got to Haven.

:I will let you prove yourself, but I cannot be your chosen, I shouldn't even be talking to you: my chosen was suspicious, but she climbed onto my back easily.

Something wrong, I thought, something really wrong. I repeated that to myself over and over until it sounded through my mind like a song :something, something, something wrong, not quite right, something wrong: I sang it gently, not knowing I was letting her hear it.

I ran. Everything would be fine once I reached Haven. It was only a few marks ride away; I could arrive by nightfall if I hurried.

:Something wrong…: I continued to sing gleefully, I knew I had to remember that. Remember something … my chosen's name, Elsa, my name is Asia :something wrong!:

:Be quiet: a dry angry voice growled at me. Quiet? I didn't even realize I was talking. I ran as fast as I could, because something was wrong I remembered, Haven would fix it.

:Thank you: the dry voice chimed in my head. Thank me for what? I wasn't signing anymore. My song! I had forgotten it, how did it go? I couldn't remember.

I slowed down to try and figure out the words, but then I knew that I wouldn't make it to Haven if I walked.

:Run legs!: I ordered them, silly legs, they should remember to run. Remember … I wanted to remember my song. :Run legs: I reminded them, I wish someone would remind me of my song. I decided to sing a new song :Run legs run, run legs run: I started belting out happily.

:Quiet: the dry voice shushed me.

:Chosen?: when did I get a chosen? That wasn't right, I should remember that; something was wrong … that was it! My song :Something, something, something, wrong!: I practically screeched the words triumphantly, I decided to throw in a verse from my other song, I should keep reminding my legs or else they might forget to run.

I was tired, so tired. My head was so fuzzy I couldn't tell up from down. I could too! I argued to myself. Down is grass, up is sky. I looked ahead to see if I was right.

Gray grass, grey sky… they are touching. Wrong! I belted out another chorus of my song. Grass is green, the sky is blue. I looked up, the sky was turning dark grey, it was wrong all wrong.

:It's the city wall, the grass is still green dummy: the nasty voice corrected me. So the city was trying to trick me! Definitely something wrong. I reminded my legs to keep running.

Two guards at the gate they look at me for a minute. Maybe they want to stop me?

:Something is wrong!: I shout my song at them, to prove that I can.

:Shush: nasty voice urges me. I ignore it, but I switch to reminding my legs to run. They seem to be slowing down. I am still running! But my legs aren't; they are slowing down.

Legs should do as they are told! I hear other companions on the edge of my mind, they will like my song :something wrong…: I sing at the top of my voice. I hear alarmed responses. Maybe they can't hear me properly, I sing louder. I am only trotting now :keep going legs, we are almost home … almost safe:

I realize I can't see anything, it isn't that dark … my eyes are closed. Silly me, silly Asia, open eyes, I order them. Grudgingly they obey me. I see … blurbs of white coming toward me.

Companions. I have a companion, Trevino, he rescued me from … from what? Drowning, no he drowned me. Not with water, drowning in love, and blue eyes. It must be him coming to help me now … good Trevi will like my song. He likes all my songs.

:Trevi: I call weakly, but I only hear the dry voice in reply.

:They want to know what happened to you Mud-face:

I was too tired to tell her my name … what was my name? Oh, well it hardly mattered.

:We are in Haven, Elsa: Elsa is my chosen, I remembered bleakly, but I am Trevi's chosen, how can I have a chosen. No, Trevi is dead, he died a long time ago … we both died.

:Trevi? Who's there?: I called still not sure who I was.

:Hush, Asia, we are here to help: a soft familiar voice told me. It had the tones of a shout, but it was so soft I scarcely heard it.

:Can you remember my song?: I asked frantically just before I realized my mind felt fuzzy. Fuzzy like fur, I giggled at the thought of fur growing inside my head.

:Who is on you back?: the soft shout asked me firmly.

:My chosen: I responded happily, happy that I finally had a chosen and happy that I had remembered that she was my chosen. I realized the white blurbs were surrounding me now. Like clouds … maybe grass was up and the sky was down, or maybe I was flying. That was when I fell, plummeted really, to the ground. The last thing I saw was my pink blobby chosen running away from me and being caught by one of the clouds.

When I came to I was lying on a wagon with the cloud shapes surrounding me. One of the little clouds was talking to a tall dark blob. I rolled my eyes to look for my little pink blob. She was sitting on one of the clouds, safe. Reassured I fell back asleep. The wagon rumbled gently under me, lulling me and I slept until we stopped. I opened my eyes enough to see a stable. I wondered briefly how they had loaded me onto the wagon unconscious, and how they intended to unload me. I decided would rather not know. I tried to stand up, but my silly legs still weren't listening, and I was tired. There was only one thing for it, I would fall back asleep.

The next time I awoke there were only two clouds and my now gray-clad blurb with me. The big cloud nuzzled me.

:Asia, what happened to you dear?: the shouting-soft voice from before spoke gently to me.

: I found my chosen: I said triumphantly :she was with a traveling caravan and I had to track them down first, it took me two weeks to catch them traveling back and forth and all, but I found her:

:Elsa told us you found her, frightened her half-to-death and then forced her to come to Haven with you. You have been in and out of consciousness for days, and your fever only broke this morning, how did you let yourself get so rundown?:

:I found my chosen … she is safe?: alarm filled me, I couldn't feel her, where was Elsa?

:I'm fine, and I'm right here: my chosen told me, sounding amused at me distress, but still angry and scared.

:I followed them with barely any rest or food for weeks … I guess I should have paced myself, but I was so excited! I didn't think I would ever choose, Tally: I used the big cloud's name because I had finally remembered it, but she wasn't a cloud, she was a companion, my eyes were finally focusing properly. That left my legs, I decided to wait until my friend and her chosen left to test them; it would be decidedly embarrassing to fall on my face in front of Tally.

:You had us all worried sick. You came in here screaming about something wrong: I gently interjected a few verses of my little song.

:If I hear that song again I'll brain you!: my chosen growled at me.

:Sorry: I replied. Briefly I wondered why my chosen was being so mean, but it didn't matter because at last I had one.

:If you are feeling better Asia I will leave you to your chosen, I'm sure she will tend to you, there's a nice warm mash in your feeder too: Tally informed me as she and her chosen, Fred, left Elsa and me alone.

:You are in desperate need of a bath: Elsa informed me rudely. I got the impression of my chosen being forced to sit next to a latrine, for days.

:If you'll scrub my back I'll gladly take one … right after I eat:

:Bath first food later: She insisted. Obediently I acquiesced, if I smelled as bad as she had implied I would be better off to bathe before eating anyway.

I struggled to my feet. My silly legs still weren't quite doing what I told them to yet. Once I managed to stand Elsa haltered me and led me toward the river as if I were some common pack animal. I might have fought her about that, but my legs hurt badly and I was just glad to be back in Companion's Field with my chosen. Besides which, I really couldn't take much more of Elsa's dry mind voice.

My bath wasn't as long as I might have hoped, but when I clamored out of the river I caught a glimpse of my reflection and found that though I wasn't my most glistening snowy white I was at least clean.

:I knew companions were supposed to be white: my chosen grumbled to me, sounding decidedly upset.

:I told you it was mud. I know the way to the stable chosen: I added the last because she was yanking on my halter as if I were one of her old pack mules. Me! A companion reduced to being led like such a lowly beast of burden. I sighed and followed her as it became apparent she had no intention of responding to me.

I ate in silence, wishing my chosen would say just one nice thing to me, then I knew everything would feel better, lacking that my mash tasted very good and I had enough hay to last at least a few hours.

:They told me about being a herald … the night you brought me here. They said I have to be one: Elsa whispered into my mind, coldly :I have to be a herald because of you!: she mentally screeched at me :I don't want to be a herald, I hate you!:

So much for saying something nice, the worst part was though, she absolutely meant it.

:Chosen: I begged, which did me no good :What's wrong, I … I want to help you:

:You can't!: Elsa's controlled, mature mind voice sounded like that of a child, just learning to use it.

:Tell me what's wrong, I might be able to help:

:Will you let me go?:

:I … I can't:

:I thought you said you loved me:

:I do!: how could she doubt that? The same way she could hate me I supposed :If you tell me and I cannot help you within a month I will help you get away and I will never speak to you again, if that is your wish: I agreed reluctantly; if it would have made her happy I would have lit my tail on fire … but I didn't see any need to point that out to her with the amount of anger and fear and even hate that her mental voice throbbed with.

:You promise?:

:Yes:

:Good … What should I tell you then?:

:Start with why you tried to deny you could hear me:

:I am not supposed to use my mind-magic:

:Why not?:

:Because the clan forbids girls to use it, and because they will kill me if they find out I did:

:The clan:

:My family, the people you took me from. We are travelers, there are no more that fifteen of us. My father left when he married my mother and we lived on a farm, I had two older brothers:

:Had?:

:The clan doesn't give up its own, they were searching for us and when they found us they killed my brothers and my mother. Father had magic, they wanted him back, it is easier to bargain, steal, and generally avoid prolonged contact with other human beings when those you deal with are considered crazy, by themselves or others:

:They use mind magic to make people think they are insane?: I would have laughed if my chosen hadn't been so dead serious. Her mind voice had lost some of its edge, the hate had waned and some of the fear with it, but anger still punctuated her every thought.

:Yes:

:How did they end up finding you then chosen?:

:I led them to us: Elsa said icily.

:Led them? Why?:

:I heard them calling out one day, to anyone who could hear them … Father had taught my eldest brother and I how to use our mind-magic as soon as he realized we had any. I just talked to them, told them about me, my family, and my home. It took them maybe three months to catch us:

:What happened when they found you?: I felt her fear returning full-force.

:They killed everyone but me and my father and then told him that he was to return to his work as a mind-mage else I would die as well. They told me that if I were to use my mind-magic at all they would kill both of us:

:Will your father be safe now then?:

:No, they probably killed him already:

:Is that why you didn't want to come with me? Or even talk to me?:

:Yes: Elsa responded calmly, but her voice was teetering on the edge of hysteria.

:Chosen … : I filled the word with as much love as would fit :Look at me:

Elsa surprised me by actually looking. I decided that would be as good a time as any to redo my introduction, properly, there are reasons for old customs and unoriginal phrases I reasoned :I am Asia, and I choose you: I locked my eyes onto hers sending love and acceptance to my chosen. For a moment I feared she would bolt, but she looked back at me.

:I am Elsa, and I accept you: Elsa returned. It was the first nice thing that she had said to me, and it was the first time I heard her mind-voice with anything other than anger, hatred and fear, it was a musical voice. I could have run three laps around the planet and still had energy left over at that simple phrase.

:You will be my herald then?:

:As I understand it there isn't any choice, but … no one has ever sat still long enough to hear me out before. No one understands what it's like suddenly not being able to talk like this:

:Most people can't understand Chosen: I offered in consolation. She nodded, and I walked over to her and rubbed my nose against her affectionately. She hugged my neck, crying into my white fur. I let her cry herself out ignoring my legs' protests at the slight extra weight.

:I am worried about my father: Elsa said at last, her mind held concern as well as love, the first for her father and the second for me.

:Did you tell the heralds who spoke to you about him?:

:I didn't have a chance they were so busy yelling at me about how badly I had treated you … I thought you had told them it was my fault you were sick:

:I would never do that Elsa!:

:I know that now:

:I will tell Tally to tell Fred … the others will send someone to fetch your father home safe:

:You think so?:

:Of course Elsa, we can't go ourselves, you have classes and I am not fully recovered but they will send someone:

:I believe you Asia:

:Good: I reply happily. I quickly passed my message about Elsa's father to Tally, who verifies it with me before passing it along.

:There is a herald who just got back from a circuit at the healer's collegium with a patient for the healers. The man had been left for dead near where you found Elsa. He is being seen to by a healer right now. He's going to live, but he will be on bed rest for quite some time: Tally informed me a few minutes later.

:Thank you Tally:

:No problem Asia, I hope your Elsa doesn't take the news too hard:

:If he is even the right guy:

:Of course, I'll come visit you later, okay? You should stay close to the stable you know, get your rest and all:

:Yes, Mother!: I teased. I was rewarded by a mental chuckle from my friend. I turned my attention to my chosen.

:Did they send someone?: She asked eagerly.

:They think he may have been found … if so he is with the healers right now. If the man Tally told me about is your father then you have nothing to worry about, he will be fine:

:Can I go see him?:

:Of course, in fact I was about to suggest that you go. I will be fine without you for an hour or so:

:Are you sure?: Elsa shot me a worried query.

:Yes: I replied good-naturedly :go ahead:

Without further comment Elsa left me and I decided to take a nap until her return.

My nap was cut short moments later by my chosen's gleeful cry, the man had in fact been her father and he was doing remarkably well for a man who had been nearly dead that very morning. His wounds had been largely superficial, blood loss would have killed him if he hadn't been found, but he had and everything was okay.

That reminded me of my song, I simply couldn't resist the temptation :Nothing's wrong, nothing's wrong, nothing, nothing, nothing's wrong: I belted out my little song with those few minor lyrical changes. Elsa gave me a hearty mental laugh and joined in.

We had years of training and enough problems for any herald and companion ahead, but for that moment nothing truly was wrong.

A/N this story was thought up while the author was arranging seed potatoes to be cut... staring at a conveyer belt full of mucky brown orbs for hours on end is one sure cure for writers block … its amazing what a mind can do when its forced to do nothing. Try working harvest or planting on potato farm if you don't get it.