I'm not JK Rowling or Naoko Takeuchi. I don't like the Matrix or Escaflowne, nor do I care that they exist. I write fiction and fanfiction and poetry, and I don't care about flames, though they are amusing. I can proudly write about anything I want, because even though I have an imagination, Flamers still hunt me down! I believe in writing what you want, any way you want and sick, twisted, grammatically incorrect fics described as good! I believe in reviewing, even if it means emailing the author and writing something, and Mamoru said "Love Me" not "I love you!" Harry and Draco are the largest ship in the Potterverse, Usagi and Mamoru the largest Moonie one, and all flamers can rot in hell where your unimaginative kind exist. My name is Serenitas and I write fanfic! Thank you very much.
(If you have ever heard the "I am Canadian" rant by Joe Canada, get that tune in your head before reading this.) Enjoy the new chapter, sorry it's short but I have a new job and Real Life is interfering.
Mamoru stretched languidly in the bed that he shared with Usagi. A grin slowly crept across his face as he buried his face in a pillow that she had laid upon. Her scent was all around him, as he closed his eyes to relive the past few hours. He had seen Nirvana, touched Heaven, been to Paradise and now he could die a happy man. Usagi had been some time in the washroom and just as he was considering going after her (for a shower together also), the door opened and a white-faced Usagi walked out. He understood that she had just undergone another Trial and all thoughts of more lovemaking vanished from his mind as he leapt across the room to lead her back to the bed. Her gorgeous eyes were so haunted, speaking volumes to him, telling him more than words ever could. At this moment she needed reassurance, as if she had discovered something about herself that she had denied, as if she had come to a realization that terrified her. "I enjoyed it Mamoru." She said in a dead voice. "I watched myself torture and degrade and humiliate them and I enjoyed it. I wanted them to hurt. I wanted to go into the mirror and hurt them more."
Mamoru said nothing, sensing that his comments would not be welcome. "I watched you be killed and felt no emotion, I was responsible for a reign of tyranny and slavery and fear that was renowned through the Galaxy. I was dark and I was cruel and for a moment I closed my eyes to savour the emotion. The darkest part of my soul, the part I always denied I saw. So many times since the Pink Spoor arrived have I had dark thoughts and dreams of hurting her, of torturing her. So frequently when Rei would lay into me for no apparent reason would I visualize causing her half as much pain as she caused me. I finally got to see it played out in front of me, what would happen if I chose another path…and I enjoyed it."
A chill ran down his spine. He knew he was dealing with a powerful woman, but up until this point he never realized just how dangerous she could be. That she was so blasé about what she had seen, what another manifestation of her had done…there were no words for him to describe it. This was not his gentle Usako who loved pink and bunny rabbits and gave soft and tender kisses. This was an Usagi (for Usako was too cute) who was into art deco, black and liked it hard, fast and rough.
"So what do you think of that?" she finished, her eyes catching his, preparing to see the horror and the disgust in them. She was not disappointed.
"Usagi…you have just told me that you saw yourself perform unspeakable horrors and you felt no remorse."
"Do you have any idea the torment some of these Trials have put me through? And to do two at once…it's hard."
"You are pure and beautiful and good." Mamoru continued.
"Am I not allowed to have darkness in me?"
"Not you, not the Light of Hope. You are everything to so many people, and the fact that you got off on the torture you tell me about, the fact that these thoughts have occurred before…despite Chibi Usa being what she is, despite Rei being the way she is…Usagi I can't accept that."
"It's part of me Mamoru. You told me that you loved me for who I am and who I am becoming. You told me that you put your allegiance, love and trust in me."
"If this is who you are, if this is who you are going to be…if you have these thoughts…then I cannot. I can't be the consort of a cold blooded killer." Mamoru began looking for his clothes.
Usagi's eyes burned with an icy fire even as they welled up with tears. "You promised." She whimpered. "You promised you wouldn't do this to me. You promised to support me and be with me."
"I never knew you capable of this Usagi." Mamoru sighed as he pulled on his shirt. "How does this make you any better than Beryl who killed all borne of the reason that she was spurned and cast out of the Senshi? How does this make you better than Chaos who wanted total control?"
"I recognize and accept these desires. It's part of who I am. No one can be as pure and naïve as you seem to think. It's impossible."
"It IS possible Usagi, you just don't want to and I think that's horribly selfish of you."
"Can I not be like everyone else?"
"You never have been Usagi and that seems to be the point you are missing." Mamoru searched for his shoes.
"You're leaving me." She said in a whisper, horror racing through her.
"I thought I could accept you no matter what." He looked into her hurt and horrified and glazed eyes. He saw the light in them fading and somehow he knew it might never come back again. "I realized you were changing into someone who would shine and light up the world. I saw your growing power, noticed your hidden intelligence, and recognized your cunning and desire to reclaim what was yours. I admired it, I loved it, and I yearned for it."
"Now you have tasted it."
"I was wrong." He said simply. "You are not the person I thought you were Tsukino Usagi, you are not the white and pure angel I wanted you to be."
"So you're leaving because I will not conform to your stupid and impossible standards?"
"I'm leaving because I see you becoming the embodiment of the creature who destroyed our timeline, who destroyed my planet. I'm leaving because like it or not Usagi, you are evil."
Those were his final words as he quietly closed the bedroom door behind him and walked to the door out of the apartment not realizing that all hell was about to break loose.
Makoto ran. She yearned to be the wind, to race with it, to become one with it and not stop until she was far, far away from here and not embroiled in the turmoil and mess that she was in. There was one place for her to go, one place for protection. She would beg, she would plead for she had nothing left. No pride, no dignity and no honour, but she would promise to serve Usagi with all her heart if only it would keep her safe and away from Rei. The apartment that Usagi lived in shone like a beacon in her mind, a sanctuary where she could at last be safe. She knew not if Rei followed her but she ran like the hounds of hell themselves were on her heels. It was all coming to a head, spiralling together into an explosive climax from which people might die. If she had to go, she was going on her terms, following the one she believed in.
"You'll grant me death?" Minako's eyebrows nearly crawled off her forehead.
"It is your fondest wish. I can smell it coming off you in waves, your yearning, your desire for the eternal darkness that is death. I will grant it to you."
Minako shut her eyes, torn between gratitude that it would all end in a heartbeat and horror, desperate desire inside her screaming 'I don't want to die!' but the power of Rei and Chibi Usa was too strong, and Rei's Chi had a will of it's own. "Do it."
Hotaru drew her lips up in a small smile. "You think I'm going to do it here? Now?"
"You're not?" Minako's heart dropped. She had been so close…
"I WILL kill you, if that is what you want. You have captured the power of death itself, and I will be more than happy to turn my power on you if for no other reason than payback for the pain in my head."
"So why won't you?"
"I never said it would be painless. It will hurt a lot to die. It will be tremendous pain, horrible pain."
"I thought you could make it not hurt."
"I COULD, but I choose not to." She sighed and shrugged. "You see I'm in a bit of bind here. I have a mission to complete and as much as I would like to kill the one who has hurt Usagi, who turned against her despite all your blather about redemption and finding your way again, blah, blah, blah…" she waved her hands to emphasize her point. "Then I will be an outcast, a mercenary on the run."
"What are you talking about?" Minako narrowed her eyes.
"The only one who has the power to take life or grant it at a whim is the True Queen. I can only take life in battle, and we are not fighting therefore I cannot do what you ask."
Minako looked at her furiously. "You made me believe…"
"You believed what you want to. Until you understand the power that I follow, you will understand nothing. You take me to Rei now." Hotaru said firmly.
Minako's eyes widened in comprehension. "You're going to kill her."
"Perhaps."
Mamoru closed the door behind him and closed his eyes, unable to believe what he'd done. A roar broke through the silence of the hall. "You unmitigated BASTARD!"
The only thing he saw, other than stars was a furious blonde head and a fist aiming straight for him. "What the…" he spat, spitting out a tooth.
"You touched her! You were warned and warned and you did it anyways! You're going to die, fiancée or not!" Haruka roared, grabbing one of his arms and yanking it roughly behind his back, dislocating it.
"Let me go!"
"You'll pay for the innocence you've taken!"
Mamoru laughed bitterly. "Innocent? Her? You jest surely. Go in and talk to her. Listen to her talk about her last Trial…she tortured, she maimed, she destroyed. She watched herself torture and hurt Rei and Chibi Usa and she enjoyed it. She revelled in it. You want innocence and purity? It's not with her. She is evil just as sure as any enemy we ever fought was."
Haruka paused and glanced at Michiru, worry shading her features. "Another Trial?" Michiru said softly.
"What number does that make?" Motoki asked from the background; where he and Unazuki were hidden and unnoticed.
"Six I think." Haruka counted. She turned to Mamoru, eyes narrowed dangerously. "She told you about her Trials?"
"Yes and how she had a iron grip and a reign of terror, slavery and corruption. How everyone was afeared of her, how she captured Rei and Chibi Usa and tortured them. Made them hurt. How she paid them back every cruelty ever accorded her and she relished it." Mamoru explained. "I have left her for good, for I cannot be with someone who's heart is so black."
"You hypocrite." Michiru spat. "No one can be as pure as you believe."
"She is no better than Beryl, or Chaos." Mamoru said stubbornly.
"You took her virginity and then you left her?" Haruka asked slowly.
"I did, and I will not return. I love her, and I admire her strength, her power and her courage. But I cannot and do not admire her heart. It is not beautiful and huge and forgiving, her soul not untarnished and untouched. She is not the Light of Hope, but the Destroyer of it."
Whatever else Mamoru was going to say he never got the chance to for Haruka's fist was joined with Michiru's and Motoki's as one made contact to his mouth, one to his stomach and one to his ribs. The wind knocked out of him, he crumpled in a heap on the floor as Haruka let out an evil laugh and turned to him. "You hurt her. Again." She stated. "You will die now."
Unazuki cleared her throat. "Forgive me for interrupting this wonderful show, but shouldn't someone be inside with Usagi now? Mamoru has left her and she's vulnerable and prey to who knows what."
Haruka nodded. "Point well taken." She kicked Mamoru. "You filthy cur. You will be gone from these premises by the time I come out and if I see you go anywhere near her again, your life is forfeit."
She spun on her heel to enter the apartment and was unprepared for the sight that greeted her inside.
Rei jumped with a start from the Sacred Fire, the vision scaring her. A dark shadow which she could only term as death was heading towards her, and hell followed with it. Fear, fear such as she had not known for a long time ran down her spine as she understood that Chibi Usa and Luna were going to try and kill her, to dispose of her properly for her usefulness was at an end and the child she carried could not be allowed to live.
Chibi Usa plotted, she planned. She would turn on Rei as Rei knew she would, for if she did not attack, Rei would come after her. Luna was going to be disposed of, the renegade Senshi eliminated and she would create new ones and her mother…a special punishment lay in store for her. Mamoru would be hers at last, with Helios at her side.
"We finish this." A voice echoed in a void. "It's almost done, for good or for evil."