Disclaimer- Hellsing and any of it's characters are not mine. They will never be. I own nothing.

Read and Review people. Wrote this late at night so it may seem kinda' cheesy. Some characters may seem a little bit OOC. Only because this is a humor type of fanfic. How can you make it funny otherwise?

Also, can anybody tell me the name of Integra's father? Series never mentioned it. Enjoy.

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Chibified...aka Integra's Mothering Skills

By: SilverGlaive

'thoughts'

Sir Integra Fairbrooks Wingates Hellsing, the woman of steel, the virgin queen. Head of the Hellsing Organization and one of the Protestant Knights of England. Just most likely met her greatest obstacle.

"....................Alucard....................."

A pair of small red eyes looked towards cold blue ones.

"This is not funny. How dare you mock me....I command you to stop this instant."

The pair of small red eyes that were on the floor looked up at her curiously.

"I am the head of the Hellsing Organization, your master. I order you to stop playing these childish games and get out of my office immediatly!"

Alucard just sat there, on the ground, and giggled. Yes, giggled and pointed straight at her and said.....

"Yuhxe cece."

Integra looked outraged. She sat up from her desk and took out her famous gun. She went up and took Alucard by the collar.

"I don't know what you are doing, but you stop this illusion right now!" screamed Integra at the small Alucard.

Alucard had turned into a chibi.

"Walter!"

A loud voice rang throughout Hellsing Manor. Everyone was in a deadlock. Children stopped playing, dogs barking, people talking, even angels turned their heads. Behold the call of the Integra. After a few seconds two short taps on a door could be heard.

"Come in."

"Good evening Sir Integra. What is it that you have called me for?" asked Walter.

"This!," and with that she dropped Chibi Alucard on the floor, "I want you to make this madness stop. I have many important documents that need my approval and I can not get that done with him around." stated Integra.

"Fowgauz! Yuhxe cece." Sniff.

Walter looked over at Alucard. Alucard looked just about the same. Same clothes, hair, eyes, etc. Except he was now 3 feet tall. All his clothes fit him like before, his hat was a teeny bit big though. Sometimes it would cover his eyes and his glasses would slip down his nose if any sudden movements would occur.

"Oh my........Sir....Well, I think this may be my doing......" replied Walter.

"Explain." commanded Integra in a monotone voice.

"Well after the fight with Incognito two years ago...I was very much ashamed. I did not perform my duty to you Sir Integra! I let you go to harm's way...You were almost killed. So I went to the library and dug up the old archives of your ancestor, Van Hellsing. A little while afterward I found a very peculiar spell. It was written in ancient latin and hard to translate, but I made out most of it...."

Sigh. "Walter," interupted Integra ," You of all people should know that it couldn't be helped. Nobody couldn't do anything....It was my duty to protect Hellsing from any forms of attack, not yours."

Alucard started to hug Integra's leg very tightly. "A bupnus ifo!" screeched the Chibi.

Integra just raised her eyebrows. Trying to ingnore the thing clinging to her leg. "Please continue."

"To summarize this up Sir. It said it was a spell to turn one back to their younger years. I thought with this I could be much more efficent. I started to chant, but I came across a very uninvited visitor." Walter gives Alucard a stare.

"He didn't......" Integra said giving a cold frown.

Deep breath. "Yes, I'm afriad he broke my concentration and I accidently directed the spell towards him......Nothing happend at the time, so I thought nothing of it till now." explained Walter.

"Basically you turned him into some kind of child.....I want you to take those files to someone who can translate them properly...Also, please take him...He's cutting the circulation out of my legs." told Integra.

"Bcccccccc. Cu pfdu cezyux! Uznuwappi bux qpffs. " chided the small Alucard.

"Right away Sir. Sir Alucard. It's time to go. Come here." said Walter.

Alucard started to shake his head no and gave him a rude raspberry. Walter came over to where they, Alucard and Integra, were and scooped him up in his arms.

'I can't believe I'm picking him up.....I wish I knew what he was saying though...'

"Neybuyaw cfxyep! Cezyux!" whined Alucard.

"Hush you! Act your age." chided Walter. After that he left Integra's office.

'Someone better tell me what's going on...How will this effect Hellsing?' thought Integra, while lighting one of her cigars from her desk.

Walter was just about to put Alucard in his coffin. The little monster was making rude noises and obscene gestures the whole time they were traveling to the dugions. Just because he changed in looks doesn't mean his personality changed with it.

'Poor Sir Alucard...Hope Miss Victoria is alright.....Wait a minute...Miss Victoria!'

Walter quickly put Alucard in the coffin and quickly went to Ceras's chambers. When inside he got a unpleasant suprise.

"Oh Miss Victoria......."

"Buddi ci recu Wexuz!"

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Well what do you people think? Anyways just Read&Review....

If you people were wondering what Alucard and Ceras were saying...Here is a few letters so you can try to translate. I just scrambled the letters up..nothing special......

Chibi to Eng.

X-R

I-Y

B-H

Ci-Hi

cece- mama

neybuyaw-pathetic

fowguaz-ouchies

If you want to know if you were right, just send me what you got by email. I'll tell you if you were close or not. Well Later..............