Minerva gazed frantically around the staff room. There was no cover that she could see: the wardrobe was too far for them too reach, the armchairs too small to hide them from view. Only the counter, jutting out at an angle from the wall, was a suitable prospect.
Before she could even think about it she was flying toward Remus. She hit him hard, knocking him backward onto the carpet. Remus let out a yelp of protest and she felt her spectacles fly from her nose. But a moment later they landed safely - if heavily - behind the cupboards that filled the space between the counter top and the floor, just as the door creaked open and soft footsteps could be heard entering the room.
Instantly she froze, hardly daring to breathe in case that was enough to betray their presence. With any luck Dolores would see that the room was empty and move on to search elsewhere.
Umbridge's footsteps paused for a moment and then continued. Was she leaving? Minerva wasn't sure. And then she glanced across to the other side of the room and her heart sank. Her robes lay as she had left them: carelessly folded over the back of a nearby chair. Her fallen spectacles lay on the carpet just beneath. There was no way that the Headmistress would not see them.
The floorboards creaked loudly, but not loudly enough to hide the sudden intake of breath from the other side of the counter. Sure enough, Minerva's carelessness had given the game away.
How are we going to get out of this one?
A well placed hex would have done the trick but her wand was out of reach, tucked snugly inside her robes.
There's got to be a way...
And then it was too late and a tall, black clad shape had rounded the edge of the counter and was towering over them, frowning curiously.
It was not Dolores Umbridge.
It was Severus Snape.
The lank haired potions master had never been a more welcome sight. Minerva exhaled loudly in relief.
Snape, however, did not look impressed. As comprehension of what he was seeing dawned, disgust became evident on his face.
"Lupin," he sneered. "My apologies. I didn't realise you were on heat."
Minerva opened her mouth to protest and then saw their predicament as it was through his eyes. Remus shirtless and looking extremely shocked. Her without robes and glasses and wearing a man's shirt... a shirt that was somewhat loose and was now - thanks to Snape's position - giving him a direct view of her cleavage. Hastily she covered herself up and scrambled to her feet.
"It's not what you think," she muttered, cheeks aflame.
He said nothing but merely raised a supercilious eyebrow.
Remus, still slightly winded from where she had landed on top of him, rose casually to his feet as if there was nothing unusual about lying half-naked on the staff room floor with a dishevelled Deputy Headmistress. Ignoring Snape he helped himself to another mug of coffee.
"More tea, Minerva?" he asked politely.
She shook her head, going instead to retrieve her spectacles from the floor. Snape leant an elbow on the counter, obviously deriving great pleasure from her embarrassment.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Minerva," he said maliciously. "I'm sure we all get a little... frustrated... from time to time."
"I thought you were Dolores," she snapped coldly, replacing her glasses on her nose and immediately turning the full force of her glare on her colleague.
"Right," Snape drawled. "And that's why the two of you are half undressed, is it? Because you thought I was Dolores."
"I don't have to answer to you."
Minerva gathered her robes up and made to sweep past him in the direction of the door. Surely Dolores - the real Dolores - was gone by now. Severus was making her wand hand itch desperately. She longed to wipe the smug smile from his malevolent face but knew better than to resort to such childish antics. If only she could remain as calm and unconcerned as Remus, who was by now perusing the contents of the biscuit tin in search of an early supper. Instead she clenched her fists in anger and kept her mouth firmly shut.
"I wouldn't go that way if I was you. Our esteemed Headmistress" - he spat the word with venom - "is on her way down here for a staff meeting."
Minerva stopped abruptly.
"No one said anything about a staff meeting to me," she said suspiciously.
"Nor me. Obviously our presence isn't welcome. Which is exactly the reason I made sure that I was here first."
Apparently tired of the conversation, he left the counter and went to sit down. The latest edition of the Daily Prophet lay folded on the coffee table and he snatched it up and flipped through its pages with a dark expression on his face. Minerva saw Cornelius Fudge smiling regally from the front page and grimaced.
"Might I suggest the wardrobe?" Severus said dryly from behind the newspaper. "And this time take your clothes with you."
His words spurred Minerva into action. Remus was grinning broadly at her, no doubt highly amused at the prospect of hiding in a cupboard with his former colleague. Severus was probably smirking too, though she couldn't see his face to be sure.
Why does this have to happen to me?
"Perhaps we could-" she began, but was interrupted by the murmur of voices and the scuffling of feet echoing along the corridor and through the still open door. There was no time to escape any other way: the wardrobe would have to do.
"After you."
Remus held the door open for her and she climbed in as quickly as she could. He joined her a moment later, pulling several cloaks down from the railing so that they would have something to sit on. Then the door swung shut and they were plunged into blackness.
Before she could even think about it she was flying toward Remus. She hit him hard, knocking him backward onto the carpet. Remus let out a yelp of protest and she felt her spectacles fly from her nose. But a moment later they landed safely - if heavily - behind the cupboards that filled the space between the counter top and the floor, just as the door creaked open and soft footsteps could be heard entering the room.
Instantly she froze, hardly daring to breathe in case that was enough to betray their presence. With any luck Dolores would see that the room was empty and move on to search elsewhere.
Umbridge's footsteps paused for a moment and then continued. Was she leaving? Minerva wasn't sure. And then she glanced across to the other side of the room and her heart sank. Her robes lay as she had left them: carelessly folded over the back of a nearby chair. Her fallen spectacles lay on the carpet just beneath. There was no way that the Headmistress would not see them.
The floorboards creaked loudly, but not loudly enough to hide the sudden intake of breath from the other side of the counter. Sure enough, Minerva's carelessness had given the game away.
How are we going to get out of this one?
A well placed hex would have done the trick but her wand was out of reach, tucked snugly inside her robes.
There's got to be a way...
And then it was too late and a tall, black clad shape had rounded the edge of the counter and was towering over them, frowning curiously.
It was not Dolores Umbridge.
It was Severus Snape.
The lank haired potions master had never been a more welcome sight. Minerva exhaled loudly in relief.
Snape, however, did not look impressed. As comprehension of what he was seeing dawned, disgust became evident on his face.
"Lupin," he sneered. "My apologies. I didn't realise you were on heat."
Minerva opened her mouth to protest and then saw their predicament as it was through his eyes. Remus shirtless and looking extremely shocked. Her without robes and glasses and wearing a man's shirt... a shirt that was somewhat loose and was now - thanks to Snape's position - giving him a direct view of her cleavage. Hastily she covered herself up and scrambled to her feet.
"It's not what you think," she muttered, cheeks aflame.
He said nothing but merely raised a supercilious eyebrow.
Remus, still slightly winded from where she had landed on top of him, rose casually to his feet as if there was nothing unusual about lying half-naked on the staff room floor with a dishevelled Deputy Headmistress. Ignoring Snape he helped himself to another mug of coffee.
"More tea, Minerva?" he asked politely.
She shook her head, going instead to retrieve her spectacles from the floor. Snape leant an elbow on the counter, obviously deriving great pleasure from her embarrassment.
"It's nothing to be ashamed of, Minerva," he said maliciously. "I'm sure we all get a little... frustrated... from time to time."
"I thought you were Dolores," she snapped coldly, replacing her glasses on her nose and immediately turning the full force of her glare on her colleague.
"Right," Snape drawled. "And that's why the two of you are half undressed, is it? Because you thought I was Dolores."
"I don't have to answer to you."
Minerva gathered her robes up and made to sweep past him in the direction of the door. Surely Dolores - the real Dolores - was gone by now. Severus was making her wand hand itch desperately. She longed to wipe the smug smile from his malevolent face but knew better than to resort to such childish antics. If only she could remain as calm and unconcerned as Remus, who was by now perusing the contents of the biscuit tin in search of an early supper. Instead she clenched her fists in anger and kept her mouth firmly shut.
"I wouldn't go that way if I was you. Our esteemed Headmistress" - he spat the word with venom - "is on her way down here for a staff meeting."
Minerva stopped abruptly.
"No one said anything about a staff meeting to me," she said suspiciously.
"Nor me. Obviously our presence isn't welcome. Which is exactly the reason I made sure that I was here first."
Apparently tired of the conversation, he left the counter and went to sit down. The latest edition of the Daily Prophet lay folded on the coffee table and he snatched it up and flipped through its pages with a dark expression on his face. Minerva saw Cornelius Fudge smiling regally from the front page and grimaced.
"Might I suggest the wardrobe?" Severus said dryly from behind the newspaper. "And this time take your clothes with you."
His words spurred Minerva into action. Remus was grinning broadly at her, no doubt highly amused at the prospect of hiding in a cupboard with his former colleague. Severus was probably smirking too, though she couldn't see his face to be sure.
Why does this have to happen to me?
"Perhaps we could-" she began, but was interrupted by the murmur of voices and the scuffling of feet echoing along the corridor and through the still open door. There was no time to escape any other way: the wardrobe would have to do.
"After you."
Remus held the door open for her and she climbed in as quickly as she could. He joined her a moment later, pulling several cloaks down from the railing so that they would have something to sit on. Then the door swung shut and they were plunged into blackness.