The next night…
Buffy slowly blinked her eyes wondering where she was. She was in a familiar room. Then she realized that she was in the mansion. Why was she in the mansion? And why did she feel a hunger...no a thirst for...blood? Then the events of the previous evening came back to her. Her hand flew to her face and she felt ridges. She choked back a sob. Wait. A sob? She tried to think about killing her friends. Part of her hungered for blood but most of her was repulsed by the idea. At that moment Buffy realized why Slayers weren't turned…she had kept her soul. Buffy's relief that she wasn't about to go on some sort of killing spree was short lived when she heard voices in the hall.
"But why did you turn the nasty Slayer, Daddy?" Drusilla, Buffy thought.
"Because Dru. I think that turning all that purity and those good intentions to the dark will be the best way to truly destroy the world." Angelus answered. Buffy felt a cold chill run through her. She had to escape. Concentrating she could feel her demonic face fade back to her human guise.
Trying to ignore the burning hunger coursing through her she went to the window and stealthily moved down the vines. She was actually a little bit amazed at how quietly she moved now. Jumping to the ground Buffy ran from the mansion. Hearing a loud howl she knew that Angelus had discovered she was missing.
Now that she had escaped the mansion Buffy could no longer ignore her bloodlust. She turned to the nearest butcher shop. On her way she wondered idly what her friends were doing. If they knew what had happened to her would they accept her or would they stake her instantly? Thanking the butcher and quickly drinking the blood in the alley she began to realize the hopelessness of her situation. She would go and say good-bye then wait for sunrise. It was the only way.
With a new purpose Buffy walked to her house. She would say good-bye to her mother first. As she walked up the path she realized she could sense there was more than one person in the house. Cool new senses she thought and then frowned remembering why she had these new senses. Hesitantly she knocked on the door. Her mom swung it open and went hug her but pulled back immediately.
"Buffy." Joyce mumbled.
"Hi mom." Buffy said meekly. Her mom knew. Buffy could see Willow, Xander, Cordelia, and Oz walking up behind her mom in the hallway.
"Buffy. We know you wouldn't have wanted to hurt anyone. It…" Giles said stepping forward with a cross and a stake. Buffy held her arms up waiting for the blow. But it never came.
Buffy slowly looked up and saw a confused Giles holding a cross in front of her. Hesitantly she reached out to touch it. It didn't burn her. Giles gasped in surprise and dropped the cross to the ground. He reached out to hug Buffy but she pulled back.
"Giles! NO!" Buffy yelled. Her watcher looked at her in surprise.
"But Buffy...if you haven't been turned what is the problem?" Giles looked confused but happy, an expression mirrored on everyone's faces as well.
"But, I was turned." And she looked down at the cross on the ground in confusion. Kneeling down she picked it up with a look of enlightenment on her face. "But I think I kept my soul." Her friends looked at her confused.
"You kept your soul Buffy?" Willow wasn't sure what to do. But after restoring Angel's soul she was in touch with that sort of thing and could still sense Buffy's presence. It was still her presence, but with a shadow over it. Pushing forward Willow walked forward and took Buffy's hand. "I believe you." And as Willow hugged her both girls burst into tears.
"Willow stop!" Xander yelled. "It's not Buffy! It can't be! Buffy's dead and all that's left is an evil vampire!" Xander ran forward with a stake but Joyce stopped him.
"No. I will not lose my daughter again." Xander stopped and looked at her. His shoulders slumped. He glanced at Giles, Cordelia, and Oz who were watching him uncertainly. Then he looked at his two best friends. One witch and one vampire. "It's just like Jesse." He mumbled and dropped his stake to the ground. Willow walked over to him.
"No Xander. Jesse wanted to kill you. Buffy doesn't. She's still Buffy." Willow patted his shoulder and their eyes turned to Buffy who was watching them awkwardly.
"Well. I uh…just came to say good-bye. Really." She looked at their tear-stained faces. "I'm can't live like this. I still feel the blood lust. I don't want to hurt you but I still feel the pull. I need to go." Buffy turned and started to walk away.
"Wait." Buffy turned in surprise at Oz's request. "Buffy. I know how you feel. I can feel the wolf fighting to break free all the time." He paused as everyone looked at him surprise. "But you can fight it. You're strong. If I can do it so can you. And we'll all be here to help you." The others mumbled their agreement, a little shocked at Oz's semi-emotional outburst. For the first time in two days Buffy smiled and tears sprang to her eyes.
"Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. But I don't think that I can stay with you tonight." Before they could protest she rushed on. "I want to. But it's just when Willow hugged me...I...uh...I wanted to feed." She looked down ashamed.
"Buffy it is only natural." Giles said quietly. "But if you feel the temptation would be too strong we won't force you to stay. Except you have to promise me and you mother that you will find shelter and come to the library tomorrow at sunset." Buffy looked at their faces...so hopeful at the thought of having her back. She smiled a little again.
"I promise." She whispered. Her mom ran forward to hug her but Buffy stopped her. "Mom. I-I can't. I love you too much." The Summers women looked at each other. One feeling sorrow of putting her mother through so much and the other feeling joy that her daughter was still alive.
"Take your time Buffy. But I'll be here for you when you're ready." And Joyce returned to the house.
"Did you do the disinvite?" Buffy asked suddenly remembering Angelus.
"Yes." Willow said quietly.
"Who knew the one time Spike was being honest." Buffy muttered to herself, although she felt a little guilty. Spike had always been honest about what he wanted. "Well guys, I'll see you in the library." And Buffy turned from her friends and walked slowly to a cemetery to find a nice crypt to house her for a while.
*****
Angelus stormed out of the now empty room where Buffy had been laid. He lashed out at several minions and Dru ran around screaming about some stars and pixies and something that was driving him crazy.
"Dru will you stop that noise?! We have to find Buffy and we have to punish her for running out."
"Daddy the nasty Slayer is still whole! She's not all light now but she'll never be in the dark with us." Drusilla whimpered. Angelus sighed and reached out to pet Dru's hair. He grabbed her sharply and tilted her face so she was looking up at him.
"Well we'll just have to teach her then." Angelus said sharply. Drusilla began to laugh insanely and Angelus bent down and kissed her harshly. "But not just yet." As they two of them began to rip and tear at each other the minions quickly left the room, scared by the frequent mood swings of their masters.
*****
Buffy walked through the cemetery half-heartedly looking for somewhere to stay. She should have asked her mom for the credit card so that she could stay in a motel she thought ruefully. No. It was better to stay here and away from all living things. She contemplated waiting for the sun to rise despite her promise. Suddenly her morbid reverie was interrupted by a loud cry of "bloody hell".
"Slayer. I told you to look after Angelus and here you are wandering about the bloody town aimlessly."
"Spike." Buffy said cutting off his tirade. "You know I really don't have time for your crap. Can we just fight now?" She wondered if he would stake her if she asked. That would save her lots of self-loathing and she wouldn't even be breaking her promise. But he was just standing there staring at her. He approached her quickly and soon had her in a strong grip…much like Angelus had the previous night.
"Who did this?" he growled at her. Then he had a look of enlightenment. "Angelus? You let him turn you?!" Spike began to shake her roughly. "So you two will be together for all eternity just like he wanted!" Buffy was surprised by his violent reaction but quickly regained her composure and pushed him to the ground. Looking down at him she was surprised to see that he was crying.
"Why do you care Spike?" Buffy asked. "Sad your sire got to kill me instead of you?"
Spike looked up at her sadly. "He should never have turned you. You didn't deserve this curse." Without her new hearing she might not have heard what he said. But she did hear and knelt down beside him.
"Stake me Spike." He looked into her tear filled eyes with disbelief and longing. She pressed the stake into his hand but he tossed it aside. He pulled her into his arms and began to stroke her hair and whisper words of reassurance to her.
"You still have your soul." Spike sounded relieved, which surprised her. Then he shocked her to the core when he buried his face in her hair and murmured "It's still you. You're still you." Buffy pulled back and looked at him in shock.
"Uh Spike?"
"Didn't you bloody well wonder why I would come back to soddin' Sunnyhell to warn you about Dru?"
"Ummm to unleash some evil plan and piss me off?" He sighed and laughed lightly at her.
"No you silly bint. I couldn't well stand the thought of being turned. Dru- she said that she could see you dancing around my head. I thought that she was bloody insane…well more so. But then I realized that well…oh bloody hell." He couldn't tell her. But it would be perfect to tell her now. Under the moon…her in his arms and quiet for once. "Went to find Dru. But when I got to her all I could think of was you. I…I love you Buffy." Spike held his nonexistent breathe waiting for her reply.
Buffy slowly began to laugh. This had to be a dream. Spike loved her. No way. He was just messing with her. She looked up at him expecting to see him smirking back at her. But what she saw stopped her laughter. He had a look of such pain and hurt and anger. It was etched in every feature.
"Oh God." Buffy said and reached out to touch his cheek but he pushed her off of his lap and quickly stood up. He looked like he was really upset and for some reason Buffy felt guilty that she had been the cause of it.
"Spike! I'm sorry. I-I thought that you were joking." He started to walk away from her but she grabbed his hand.
"Sod off." Spike growled and tried to wrench his hand from her grasp but her grip was like steel.
"No. Wait. I'm sorry. I just well...it was Angelus who changed me and I heard Dru with him and I thought that you were just messing with me too. I'm sorry." She released his hand and he turned to look at her as the tears began to flow down her face.
Spike sighed and he realized just how much she had gone through in the past few days. Pushing down his own pride he sat down beside her and put his arm around her. She snuggled into his embrace. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like that."
"Shhhhh. It's ok pet. I guess it was a little sudden." He looked at the beautiful sobbing girl in his arms. "Let's get you to my crypt ducks."
"Ok." She mumbled against his chest.
"Can I take care of you tonight?"
"Yeah. That would be of the good." Buffy sighed in relief. Spike would help her. 'Ok…what alternate universe am I in this time?' She thought. "Spike?"
"Yeah Princess?"
"Come with me to the library tomorrow?"
"Well..."
"I won't let them stake you Spike."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Why not?" Spike was hoping that she would say that she cared about him. His ego could definitely use some sort of boost.
"You make a comfy pillow?" He chuckled at her and she sighed in relief.
"Let's go cutie." With that he pulled her to her feet and they walked towards the crypt he was staying in.
In the distance two pairs of gleaming yellow eyes watched their retreat.
"Miss Edith knew the nasty Slayer would bring nothing but trouble. Now she has stolen my brave knight." Drusilla whined.
"The boy will pay for taking what is mine." Angelus' face was colder than usual and Drusilla was gleeful. Her Daddy was going to make everything right again.
Buffy slowly blinked her eyes wondering where she was. She was in a familiar room. Then she realized that she was in the mansion. Why was she in the mansion? And why did she feel a hunger...no a thirst for...blood? Then the events of the previous evening came back to her. Her hand flew to her face and she felt ridges. She choked back a sob. Wait. A sob? She tried to think about killing her friends. Part of her hungered for blood but most of her was repulsed by the idea. At that moment Buffy realized why Slayers weren't turned…she had kept her soul. Buffy's relief that she wasn't about to go on some sort of killing spree was short lived when she heard voices in the hall.
"But why did you turn the nasty Slayer, Daddy?" Drusilla, Buffy thought.
"Because Dru. I think that turning all that purity and those good intentions to the dark will be the best way to truly destroy the world." Angelus answered. Buffy felt a cold chill run through her. She had to escape. Concentrating she could feel her demonic face fade back to her human guise.
Trying to ignore the burning hunger coursing through her she went to the window and stealthily moved down the vines. She was actually a little bit amazed at how quietly she moved now. Jumping to the ground Buffy ran from the mansion. Hearing a loud howl she knew that Angelus had discovered she was missing.
Now that she had escaped the mansion Buffy could no longer ignore her bloodlust. She turned to the nearest butcher shop. On her way she wondered idly what her friends were doing. If they knew what had happened to her would they accept her or would they stake her instantly? Thanking the butcher and quickly drinking the blood in the alley she began to realize the hopelessness of her situation. She would go and say good-bye then wait for sunrise. It was the only way.
With a new purpose Buffy walked to her house. She would say good-bye to her mother first. As she walked up the path she realized she could sense there was more than one person in the house. Cool new senses she thought and then frowned remembering why she had these new senses. Hesitantly she knocked on the door. Her mom swung it open and went hug her but pulled back immediately.
"Buffy." Joyce mumbled.
"Hi mom." Buffy said meekly. Her mom knew. Buffy could see Willow, Xander, Cordelia, and Oz walking up behind her mom in the hallway.
"Buffy. We know you wouldn't have wanted to hurt anyone. It…" Giles said stepping forward with a cross and a stake. Buffy held her arms up waiting for the blow. But it never came.
Buffy slowly looked up and saw a confused Giles holding a cross in front of her. Hesitantly she reached out to touch it. It didn't burn her. Giles gasped in surprise and dropped the cross to the ground. He reached out to hug Buffy but she pulled back.
"Giles! NO!" Buffy yelled. Her watcher looked at her in surprise.
"But Buffy...if you haven't been turned what is the problem?" Giles looked confused but happy, an expression mirrored on everyone's faces as well.
"But, I was turned." And she looked down at the cross on the ground in confusion. Kneeling down she picked it up with a look of enlightenment on her face. "But I think I kept my soul." Her friends looked at her confused.
"You kept your soul Buffy?" Willow wasn't sure what to do. But after restoring Angel's soul she was in touch with that sort of thing and could still sense Buffy's presence. It was still her presence, but with a shadow over it. Pushing forward Willow walked forward and took Buffy's hand. "I believe you." And as Willow hugged her both girls burst into tears.
"Willow stop!" Xander yelled. "It's not Buffy! It can't be! Buffy's dead and all that's left is an evil vampire!" Xander ran forward with a stake but Joyce stopped him.
"No. I will not lose my daughter again." Xander stopped and looked at her. His shoulders slumped. He glanced at Giles, Cordelia, and Oz who were watching him uncertainly. Then he looked at his two best friends. One witch and one vampire. "It's just like Jesse." He mumbled and dropped his stake to the ground. Willow walked over to him.
"No Xander. Jesse wanted to kill you. Buffy doesn't. She's still Buffy." Willow patted his shoulder and their eyes turned to Buffy who was watching them awkwardly.
"Well. I uh…just came to say good-bye. Really." She looked at their tear-stained faces. "I'm can't live like this. I still feel the blood lust. I don't want to hurt you but I still feel the pull. I need to go." Buffy turned and started to walk away.
"Wait." Buffy turned in surprise at Oz's request. "Buffy. I know how you feel. I can feel the wolf fighting to break free all the time." He paused as everyone looked at him surprise. "But you can fight it. You're strong. If I can do it so can you. And we'll all be here to help you." The others mumbled their agreement, a little shocked at Oz's semi-emotional outburst. For the first time in two days Buffy smiled and tears sprang to her eyes.
"Thanks guys. I really appreciate it. But I don't think that I can stay with you tonight." Before they could protest she rushed on. "I want to. But it's just when Willow hugged me...I...uh...I wanted to feed." She looked down ashamed.
"Buffy it is only natural." Giles said quietly. "But if you feel the temptation would be too strong we won't force you to stay. Except you have to promise me and you mother that you will find shelter and come to the library tomorrow at sunset." Buffy looked at their faces...so hopeful at the thought of having her back. She smiled a little again.
"I promise." She whispered. Her mom ran forward to hug her but Buffy stopped her. "Mom. I-I can't. I love you too much." The Summers women looked at each other. One feeling sorrow of putting her mother through so much and the other feeling joy that her daughter was still alive.
"Take your time Buffy. But I'll be here for you when you're ready." And Joyce returned to the house.
"Did you do the disinvite?" Buffy asked suddenly remembering Angelus.
"Yes." Willow said quietly.
"Who knew the one time Spike was being honest." Buffy muttered to herself, although she felt a little guilty. Spike had always been honest about what he wanted. "Well guys, I'll see you in the library." And Buffy turned from her friends and walked slowly to a cemetery to find a nice crypt to house her for a while.
*****
Angelus stormed out of the now empty room where Buffy had been laid. He lashed out at several minions and Dru ran around screaming about some stars and pixies and something that was driving him crazy.
"Dru will you stop that noise?! We have to find Buffy and we have to punish her for running out."
"Daddy the nasty Slayer is still whole! She's not all light now but she'll never be in the dark with us." Drusilla whimpered. Angelus sighed and reached out to pet Dru's hair. He grabbed her sharply and tilted her face so she was looking up at him.
"Well we'll just have to teach her then." Angelus said sharply. Drusilla began to laugh insanely and Angelus bent down and kissed her harshly. "But not just yet." As they two of them began to rip and tear at each other the minions quickly left the room, scared by the frequent mood swings of their masters.
*****
Buffy walked through the cemetery half-heartedly looking for somewhere to stay. She should have asked her mom for the credit card so that she could stay in a motel she thought ruefully. No. It was better to stay here and away from all living things. She contemplated waiting for the sun to rise despite her promise. Suddenly her morbid reverie was interrupted by a loud cry of "bloody hell".
"Slayer. I told you to look after Angelus and here you are wandering about the bloody town aimlessly."
"Spike." Buffy said cutting off his tirade. "You know I really don't have time for your crap. Can we just fight now?" She wondered if he would stake her if she asked. That would save her lots of self-loathing and she wouldn't even be breaking her promise. But he was just standing there staring at her. He approached her quickly and soon had her in a strong grip…much like Angelus had the previous night.
"Who did this?" he growled at her. Then he had a look of enlightenment. "Angelus? You let him turn you?!" Spike began to shake her roughly. "So you two will be together for all eternity just like he wanted!" Buffy was surprised by his violent reaction but quickly regained her composure and pushed him to the ground. Looking down at him she was surprised to see that he was crying.
"Why do you care Spike?" Buffy asked. "Sad your sire got to kill me instead of you?"
Spike looked up at her sadly. "He should never have turned you. You didn't deserve this curse." Without her new hearing she might not have heard what he said. But she did hear and knelt down beside him.
"Stake me Spike." He looked into her tear filled eyes with disbelief and longing. She pressed the stake into his hand but he tossed it aside. He pulled her into his arms and began to stroke her hair and whisper words of reassurance to her.
"You still have your soul." Spike sounded relieved, which surprised her. Then he shocked her to the core when he buried his face in her hair and murmured "It's still you. You're still you." Buffy pulled back and looked at him in shock.
"Uh Spike?"
"Didn't you bloody well wonder why I would come back to soddin' Sunnyhell to warn you about Dru?"
"Ummm to unleash some evil plan and piss me off?" He sighed and laughed lightly at her.
"No you silly bint. I couldn't well stand the thought of being turned. Dru- she said that she could see you dancing around my head. I thought that she was bloody insane…well more so. But then I realized that well…oh bloody hell." He couldn't tell her. But it would be perfect to tell her now. Under the moon…her in his arms and quiet for once. "Went to find Dru. But when I got to her all I could think of was you. I…I love you Buffy." Spike held his nonexistent breathe waiting for her reply.
Buffy slowly began to laugh. This had to be a dream. Spike loved her. No way. He was just messing with her. She looked up at him expecting to see him smirking back at her. But what she saw stopped her laughter. He had a look of such pain and hurt and anger. It was etched in every feature.
"Oh God." Buffy said and reached out to touch his cheek but he pushed her off of his lap and quickly stood up. He looked like he was really upset and for some reason Buffy felt guilty that she had been the cause of it.
"Spike! I'm sorry. I-I thought that you were joking." He started to walk away from her but she grabbed his hand.
"Sod off." Spike growled and tried to wrench his hand from her grasp but her grip was like steel.
"No. Wait. I'm sorry. I just well...it was Angelus who changed me and I heard Dru with him and I thought that you were just messing with me too. I'm sorry." She released his hand and he turned to look at her as the tears began to flow down her face.
Spike sighed and he realized just how much she had gone through in the past few days. Pushing down his own pride he sat down beside her and put his arm around her. She snuggled into his embrace. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you like that."
"Shhhhh. It's ok pet. I guess it was a little sudden." He looked at the beautiful sobbing girl in his arms. "Let's get you to my crypt ducks."
"Ok." She mumbled against his chest.
"Can I take care of you tonight?"
"Yeah. That would be of the good." Buffy sighed in relief. Spike would help her. 'Ok…what alternate universe am I in this time?' She thought. "Spike?"
"Yeah Princess?"
"Come with me to the library tomorrow?"
"Well..."
"I won't let them stake you Spike."
"Really?"
"Really."
"Why not?" Spike was hoping that she would say that she cared about him. His ego could definitely use some sort of boost.
"You make a comfy pillow?" He chuckled at her and she sighed in relief.
"Let's go cutie." With that he pulled her to her feet and they walked towards the crypt he was staying in.
In the distance two pairs of gleaming yellow eyes watched their retreat.
"Miss Edith knew the nasty Slayer would bring nothing but trouble. Now she has stolen my brave knight." Drusilla whined.
"The boy will pay for taking what is mine." Angelus' face was colder than usual and Drusilla was gleeful. Her Daddy was going to make everything right again.