Author's Note: I'm breaking my pattern with this chapter, as it still
follows Hisoka's point of view. Or should I say, Mrs. Harvey's. Anyway,
this chapter exists because otherwise Chapter Six would've been huge. And I
wouldn't have gotten my cliffhanger! XP Hope you like it, and cliffhangers
are still my little C&C bitches.
I fixed the weird periods. They should be in order, now.
Chapter Seven: With Soft Fingers
I'm in the bedroom, sitting on the bed. My back hurts for all the cleaning I've been doing the whole day. I've pulled back the covers, made sure the bed looks as nice and welcoming as possible, but Albert's obviously not coming back until the small hours, and he'll prefer the sofa downstairs. It's happened before, I really shouldn't mind. It's almost the end of the semester, so I shouldn't worry, should I? It's completely normal, yes it is. I can be alone for another night, another week. What difference would it make, were he here with me? He's always so distant, irritated, snaps at me for minor reasons. His work must be getting into him, but why, why doesn't he let me help?
My head is starting to throb. My nerves, I really should watch out for them, the doctor said I have high cholesterol levels. I'm just so tired. I reach out for the painkillers I take each night, for the headache.
Then a sudden thought comes to me. Wouldn't it be so nice to rest... for longer than I've ever rested, let go and travel to a happier place, where my husband still remembers me and I'm loved? This is a horrible thought, I know, but I... I just don't have the strength anymore. It would be better for everybody if I just rested, went away. I'm of no use to anyone anymore.
Around the sixth pill, I begin to gag and go over to the bathroom to take a glass of water. Already the blood is humming in my ears, yes, this is the soft and comfortable way, I'll walk it until the end. I fill a mug with water, hastily gulp some more pills down, quick, I don't want to stay...
In a second I realize that it was too quick, and I barely have time to reach the toilet before I'm sick all over the carpet. I cough and splutter, weak and powerless, then slip down on the bathroom floor. My body is wracked with ugly, loud sobs. Why can't I do it, why can't I even put an end to my own life? Such a failure, failure, failure...
Someone attacks me then, throws me on the floor. My god, a burglar, I think, and the blood is pulsing in my veins, and I can hardly hear anything over the steady sound. But it doesn't look like a burglar, it's a young woman, she's got light brown hair and her eyes are like stone. She takes a hold of my collar and lifts me up, then repeatedly slaps me, hard, on my face. The pain is dulled down, but I can still feel it, and I'm afraid, please, someone, help me!
"Look at you," she spits out, dragging me up from my nightshirt and hair, "here you are feeling sorry for yourself, while Albert is working for you, he does it all *for you*, you selfish bitch! You don't even *know* what Albert has to go through, no, you only care about having a big important foreign husband who is a professor at the university!"
This is not happening. This is a nightmare. I didn't spit out all the pills, maybe I'm actually dying, maybe this is my purgatory.
"You don't deserve him. But he can't get rid of you." The woman might be quite pretty, without that scary, grim expression. "I can make it right. Yes I can. A service for everybody." Her voice is softer now. or maybe I'm starting to drift to unconsciousness.
Her fingers are soft too. So very soft, as her nails bury into my neck.
But the voice that booms from somewhere behind the woman and her fingers is sharp and cuts right through me. Just hearing that voice used to make me so happy.
"Rachel! Rachel, dear God in heavens, what are you doing?! What is going on? Let her go, are you crazy, let go of her I said!"
Why... why couldn't you even let me die without your name in my lips?
***
*I have to get out. Now.*
As soon as I tell myself that, I can feel the misery start to fade. It's warm in here, I don't feel alone at all. I'm just very, very tired. I gulp air down like a drowning man. I'm alive. She's not. And now I know why.
Voices that I know... gods am I glad to hear them. I need to catch my breath, calm myself.
"He's okay now? I tell you, Watari-san, sometimes you folks scare me. There's something personal in your powers that just cuts too damn close, if you follow me."
"He will be fine. Though exhausted. Allendorf-sensei, would you mind informing Tatsumi that we have new information, available after a healthy nap?"
"Heh. Will do. Should probably report back to my own team, too. No more ghostbusting in here, I reckon."
"You tell me, sensei."
"I'm telling you, drop the sensei already. It's all about the rituals, not damn titles."
Maybe I could actually open my eyes for a bit. For as long as it takes to find a nice futon, at least. I feel I could sleep until the next ice age. My eyelids are heavy, but I can drag them open.
The first thing I see is a half-eaten piece of chocolate cake.
"Hello there," Tsuzuki says as he licks some chocolate off the side of his mouth. Then he gives me a smile sweeter than any cake in the world. "You took your time, didn't you?"
I fixed the weird periods. They should be in order, now.
Chapter Seven: With Soft Fingers
I'm in the bedroom, sitting on the bed. My back hurts for all the cleaning I've been doing the whole day. I've pulled back the covers, made sure the bed looks as nice and welcoming as possible, but Albert's obviously not coming back until the small hours, and he'll prefer the sofa downstairs. It's happened before, I really shouldn't mind. It's almost the end of the semester, so I shouldn't worry, should I? It's completely normal, yes it is. I can be alone for another night, another week. What difference would it make, were he here with me? He's always so distant, irritated, snaps at me for minor reasons. His work must be getting into him, but why, why doesn't he let me help?
My head is starting to throb. My nerves, I really should watch out for them, the doctor said I have high cholesterol levels. I'm just so tired. I reach out for the painkillers I take each night, for the headache.
Then a sudden thought comes to me. Wouldn't it be so nice to rest... for longer than I've ever rested, let go and travel to a happier place, where my husband still remembers me and I'm loved? This is a horrible thought, I know, but I... I just don't have the strength anymore. It would be better for everybody if I just rested, went away. I'm of no use to anyone anymore.
Around the sixth pill, I begin to gag and go over to the bathroom to take a glass of water. Already the blood is humming in my ears, yes, this is the soft and comfortable way, I'll walk it until the end. I fill a mug with water, hastily gulp some more pills down, quick, I don't want to stay...
In a second I realize that it was too quick, and I barely have time to reach the toilet before I'm sick all over the carpet. I cough and splutter, weak and powerless, then slip down on the bathroom floor. My body is wracked with ugly, loud sobs. Why can't I do it, why can't I even put an end to my own life? Such a failure, failure, failure...
Someone attacks me then, throws me on the floor. My god, a burglar, I think, and the blood is pulsing in my veins, and I can hardly hear anything over the steady sound. But it doesn't look like a burglar, it's a young woman, she's got light brown hair and her eyes are like stone. She takes a hold of my collar and lifts me up, then repeatedly slaps me, hard, on my face. The pain is dulled down, but I can still feel it, and I'm afraid, please, someone, help me!
"Look at you," she spits out, dragging me up from my nightshirt and hair, "here you are feeling sorry for yourself, while Albert is working for you, he does it all *for you*, you selfish bitch! You don't even *know* what Albert has to go through, no, you only care about having a big important foreign husband who is a professor at the university!"
This is not happening. This is a nightmare. I didn't spit out all the pills, maybe I'm actually dying, maybe this is my purgatory.
"You don't deserve him. But he can't get rid of you." The woman might be quite pretty, without that scary, grim expression. "I can make it right. Yes I can. A service for everybody." Her voice is softer now. or maybe I'm starting to drift to unconsciousness.
Her fingers are soft too. So very soft, as her nails bury into my neck.
But the voice that booms from somewhere behind the woman and her fingers is sharp and cuts right through me. Just hearing that voice used to make me so happy.
"Rachel! Rachel, dear God in heavens, what are you doing?! What is going on? Let her go, are you crazy, let go of her I said!"
Why... why couldn't you even let me die without your name in my lips?
***
*I have to get out. Now.*
As soon as I tell myself that, I can feel the misery start to fade. It's warm in here, I don't feel alone at all. I'm just very, very tired. I gulp air down like a drowning man. I'm alive. She's not. And now I know why.
Voices that I know... gods am I glad to hear them. I need to catch my breath, calm myself.
"He's okay now? I tell you, Watari-san, sometimes you folks scare me. There's something personal in your powers that just cuts too damn close, if you follow me."
"He will be fine. Though exhausted. Allendorf-sensei, would you mind informing Tatsumi that we have new information, available after a healthy nap?"
"Heh. Will do. Should probably report back to my own team, too. No more ghostbusting in here, I reckon."
"You tell me, sensei."
"I'm telling you, drop the sensei already. It's all about the rituals, not damn titles."
Maybe I could actually open my eyes for a bit. For as long as it takes to find a nice futon, at least. I feel I could sleep until the next ice age. My eyelids are heavy, but I can drag them open.
The first thing I see is a half-eaten piece of chocolate cake.
"Hello there," Tsuzuki says as he licks some chocolate off the side of his mouth. Then he gives me a smile sweeter than any cake in the world. "You took your time, didn't you?"