Chapter Five

Neither Xander nor Robin had been particularly happy about Spike staying at the farmhouse but they were outnumbered and neither had a specific reason as to why he shouldn't. Willow had made up a bed in Dawn's old room; it had been strange going in there knowing it wouldn't be filled with her things but she knew that Spike would appreciate being put there. He seemed to be keeping to himself; only speaking to Faith if he spoke at all, Willow reasoned it was due to their similarities. He had only stayed two nights when he had asked Willow if he could speak to Buffy on their telephone, Willow had consented immediately; she was actually surprised he had waited so long to ask her. Maybe he had been worried that he wouldn't be able to handle it, or that he wouldn't have the strength to hear any news about her and Angel, if there was any. She left the number of Buffy's father's house out by the phone and left Spike alone in the living room; moving into the kitchen with Kennedy to talk about what they should do next about Spike's reappearance.

Spike had been ready to hang up after the first ring but after the third, a man's voice answered the phone and Spike nervously asked to speak to Buffy. He considered hanging up when the man he assumed to be Hank Summers left the phone to go and get his daughter but there was no way he could give up now, he had made half the journey, he had to finish it.

"Hello?" she said sweetly. He had missed that lilt to her voice, she always sounded upbeat, even if she had just been beaten down the night before. He almost replaced the receiver but managed to compose himself. "Hello?"

"Hey Buffy," he said slowly. There was silence.

"Who is this?" she asked, her voice dropping low and sounding almost menacing.

"It's Spike," he said, more silence. "Look, I know what you must be thinking but I'm with Willow and Faith and they're trying to work out why I'm back but it really is me. I swear to God,"

"What…? I don't understand," she sighed, the confusion apparent in her voice. "How can you be back? You died, I watched the building collapse on you, you were burning alive. Did you get out or something?"

"No, Buffy," he said softly, wondering how to phrase his next announcement. "I woke up with a heartbeat a fortnight ago; Willow says I'm definitely human now," Buffy was silent; Spike could hear Dawn on the other side asking who it was and how long Buffy was going to be on the phone. He heard her mumble something and there was a crackle of plastic against skin.

"Spike?" said Dawn so loudly that he had to bring the phone away from his ear. "Is that really you? What are you doing back? I've missed you so much, I'm gonna come back to Ohio straight away," There was more crackling as Buffy forcibly removed the phone from Dawn.

"Do you want me to come back, Spike?" asked Buffy. "Do they need more help up there?" Spike ached to say yes, he wanted to beg her to come back to Cleveland, just to see him and see if they could finally be together now that he was the man he had wanted her to see but he couldn't do that to her.

"No, we're doing okay without you. We haven't spoken to Giles yet either so he'll probably have something to say about it all. Look, I just wanted to let you know that I was back and that I was sorry. I mean, I never wanted to leave you, Buffy, it just worked out that way,"

"I know," she whispered, Spike couldn't tell if she was upset or not. She sounded strange over the telephone, her voice growing fainter. "I've got to go, Spike, if you need me then just call, okay? Tell Will I said hi,"

"Okay," he smiled sadly. Buffy replaced the receiver and Spike was left holding a dial-tone to his ear. "I love you," he whispered before putting the phone down. He sighed loudly and stood up, mentally shaking himself off and walking into the kitchen to join Willow and Kennedy.

"Everything okay?" asked Willow, Spike smiled and nodded. Willow was being so good to him and he felt almost guilty at not being able to talk to her, he only felt comfortable with Faith and he knew why. She was the only one there who reminded him of Buffy; he found it odd that despite Xander and Willow knowing her the longest and being closest to her, he couldn't find anything of Buffy within them but Faith emanated it. It was as if they were two halves of the same person; completely different yet somehow identical. He thought that it might have been a Slayer thing but he felt no pull towards Kennedy at all; it was something between Buffy and Faith alone but he had no idea what it was.

"So, what's the deal here?" asked Spike. "Does everyone go patrolling or what? I can't wait to get out there and see what I can remember about fighting,"

"We could go out tonight if you want," smiled Kennedy, Spike nodded thankfully but Willow still looked worried about something. She remained silent though so Spike ignored it. "Do you think you can still do all that cool martial arts stuff you used to do?"

"Guess we'll find out, won't we?" he smiled; speaking to Buffy had somehow removed a large weight from his shoulders. He felt lighter; he was able to speak to her friends without hurting and he realised that he was actually looking forward to the idea of getting back into the game. Buffy had pre-occupied his mind for so long and now he had spoken to her, she had moved aside, letting other things move into her place. He knew it would take a while to come to terms with the fact that in his absence, Buffy has moved on and finally found her place in the world, something she had been searching out for so long and no matter how much he wanted her back, he could never take that away from her.

"I don't think you should strain yourself, Spike," warned Willow quietly, obviously still pondering recent events. "We still don't know what's been going on with you; maybe you should take it easy?"

"I'll be careful, Red," smiled Spike. "Nice to know you care," Willow smiled as he walked out of the room and headed to the front garden to check over his motorbike but Faith had beaten him to it. The engine cover was lying on the ground and she was already stuck in with a spanner. Her blue jeans were covered in oil and her thick hair was tied back in a blue bandana; Spike couldn't help but smile at her. He knew she was getting bored with the lack of demonic activity in Cleveland despite its ideal mystical location but attacking his bike was not what he had expected. He walked out to join her, she barely noticed his presence, she was too busy frowning into the engine. "You know you've got oil all over your jeans?"

"I know, smart-ass," she grinned, throwing the spanner to the ground and pushing a few stray strands of her hair from her face. Spike looked out across the open countryside that surrounded the house; he wondered what Buffy and Dawn were doing right now. Probably off on some shopping trip or lying to their father about fighting a new demon, maybe even popping into the Hyperion Hotel for a little catch-up with old friends. He sighed and looked over at Faith; she had been watching him with a quizzical smile and wiped her hand over her forehead. "You talk to B?"

"How'd you guess?" he said, sitting down on the old wooden bench that sat beneath a huge tree. Faith shrugged and put the engine cover back on the bike before walking over to sit beside him.

"Don't know, just look kinda down, more down than usual," she sighed, Spike nodded. "We'll knock that outta you, get you patrolling and taking a beating. You'll brighten up after a bit of action,"

"Is that your prescription for everything?" he laughed, Faith joined him and nodded. "It feels weird being with all of you but not her. I'm just waiting for her to come walking through the door but I know that she's not. I'm being such a bloody poof about it all," Faith didn't really know what she could say but she placed a hand on Spike's knee; Robin did it to comfort her so maybe it would work on Spike. He seemed to appreciate the gesture and neither of them moved; sitting silently together in the shade thinking about Buffy and how strange it was to be living without her.

Night seemed to fall quickly in Cleveland and soon the whole gang were kitted up and ready to go out into the dark world of vampires and demons and monsters living by the kiss of the moonlight. Spike realised quite early in the evening that his vampire senses had long gone when he saw Faith and Kennedy begin to look at each other; confirming the other's senses as they walked. It stung; he hated feeling so useless – he had no vampire skills, no super-hearing or fast healing or anything; he was just an ordinary man, just like Xander and Robin. He could feel his heart pumping harder in his chest as they entered the graveyard; it was frustrating him and taking away from his sense of sound. All he could hear was the thump-thump of his own heartbeat, pounding in his ears and making him deaf to the world outside.

It seemed his instincts had remained when a vampire jumped out at them and with a deft kick to the leg; he went down leaving Spike free to drive the wooden stake through his chest. He was pleased that his body remembered how to fight and suddenly the night improved. It would appear that Faith was right; a good beating was the best prescription for the moody blues. He was enjoying himself in a way he hadn't for a long time; even before he had left Buffy in the Hellmouth. Robin didn't look too impressed by Spike's abilities and refused to join in the conversation about it on the way home; there was too much about Spike's return that was still unclear. Why was he back? Why was he human now? What was his purpose in the world? Robin knew that the girls, especially Faith, were seeing it as a second chance at life but he was a little more wary – he fully believed that there was a chance Spike was back not for the powers of good but for the powers of evil. He never trusted him in Sunnydale and there was no way he was going to trust him now; back then Buffy had kept him around for no discernible reason but she was gone now and there was nobody here for Spike. There was no reason for him to be with them at all. He knew he would never be able to make Faith see that but he knew that there was at least one person just as suspicious as he was; Xander would be the perfect ally in his distrust of Spike. Maybe the two of them together could make sure that something was done about it.