A/N:
Mel: Ok, we have to make it shorter.
Sharon: Awww…
Mel: We've had people complain.
…
Mel: What are you doing?
Sharon: Typing.
Mel: Typing what?
Sharon: The A/N.
Mel: But it's my turn.
Sharon: No, it's not. *is assailed by father*
Sharon: Ack! Glah, burae, apwof!
Sharon's Father: Come talk to me when you're done.
Mel: What are you doing?
Sharon: Being assailed by my father. Now then, speak.
Mel: Why are you typing the A/N thing?
Sharon: Cause you do the chapter, I do notes and reviews.
Mel: No, you do end notes and reviews.
Sharon: At any rate, I've already started.
Mel: Righty, then. Stupid—thing—WORK!
Sharon: Computer again?
Mel: Yeah. Finish the stupid song!
Sharon: "The Cat Came Back," do we know who that's by?
Mel: No, isn't it an old folk-type song?
Sharon: Meh. Well, kudos to whoever wrote it.
Mel: WHY?
Sharon: It's a good song.
Mel: No it's not.
Sharon: Yes, it is, don't be silly.
Mel: Fred Penner sang it. Repeatedly.
Sharon: That's the way the song GOES.
Mel: He sang it once every show.
Sharon: I'll have you know that at this moment, I have… 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 Fred Penner songs on my computer.
Mel: Please tell me you're not serious?
Sharon: I am.
Mel: Why don't you just do reviews now, so I can swear at my computer?
Sharon: OK.
Reviews:
None, since either you SLIMY DAMNED GITS didn't give us any, or FF.net is acting up. Either way, we sentence you to forty days and nights in the deepest pits of Hell! West Dungeons, Statue of Salazar Slytherin. Password is 'Gryff***ers suck'. (MEL: I had to put the stars there, because Shar refused to let me change it, and this IS a PG fic.)
Chapter 5 (The Cat Came Back *shudder*)
On the screen now was a tabby cat. The cat stalked silently toward the desk in the room, and stood absolutely still. The next instant, standing in the room where the tabby had been was none other than Minerva McGonagall, Transfiguration Professor and Head of Gryffindor House. She pointed her wand at the door and muttered two spells: first, the locking spell, followed by the silencing charm. McGonagall let out a sigh.
On her desk sat various magical pictures of Dumbledore. She smiled as they waved to her and called out cheery greetings. Nobody knew her secret, and no one ever would.
"Good evening, Sirs," McGonagall said to the photographs.
"Good evening, fair Minerva," the one in the gold frame answered. "You're looking lovely tonight."
McGonagall blushed. These pictures had been altered a bit from the real Dumbledore, though Minerva didn't like him any less. However, she didn't really want the photos to be offering her various sweets and cookies at all hours of the night, or going on about Purple Funny Friars and such (A/N: refer to Harry Potter and the Excruciatingly Pointless Fanfic by Hedwig and the Angry Snitch).
She sat back in her chair, thinking about random things. She remembered the parts of her life she had spent as a cat, and she began to sing softly.
"Old Wizard Merlin
had troubles of his own
He had a yellow cat who wouldn't leave its home;
He tried and he tried to give the cat away,
He gave it to a man going far, far away.
But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, they thought she was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea."
After this, she began to sing louder, thankful for the Silencing Charm she had put on her office previously.
"The man around the corner swore he'd kill the cat on sight,
He hid in the bushes in the dead of the night;
He waited and he waited for the cat to come around,
Ninety seven pieces of the man is all they found.
But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, they thought she was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea
He gave it to a man going up on his
broom,
He told him to take it to the man in the moon;
The broom came down about ninety miles away,
Where he is now, well I dare not say.
But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, they thought she was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea
He gave it to a man going to Hogwarts,
Told him for to take it to the Hogsmeade ports;
First the train hit the track, then it jumped the rail,
Not a soul was left behind to tell the gruesome tale.
But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, they thought she was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea."
She came to the most
sentimental verse, and her voice caught in her throat.
"The cat was a possessor of a family of
its own,
With seven little kittens till there came a tebo (A/N: Fantastic Beasts and
Where to Find Them);
Tore the houses all apart and tossed the cat around,
The air was full of kittens, and not a one was ever found.
But the cat came back the very next day,
The cat came back, we thought she was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea."
By this time, the
Professor was into the song heart and soul.
She jumped up from the chair and began to dance wildly around the
office. Anyone walking by would have
thought she'd dropped ice down the back of her robes.
"But the cat came back the very next
day,
The cat came back, we thought she was a goner
But the cat came back; it just couldn't stay away.
Away, away, yea, yea, yea."
McGonagall stopped singing. She twirled around one last time for effect before magically turning out the lights and retiring to her bedroom.
Back in the Great Hall, the real McGonagall was sitting with her head in her hands. She couldn't believe that she had done that. Now everyone knew…everything! They knew about Albus! They knew about her family! They knew her AGE!
Dumbledore, being his balmy self, didn't have a clue as to what had just happened, and helped himself to another sweet. Anyone who didn't know him would wonder how he could eat so many sweets without being overweight. Anyone who did know him knew that Albus kept the weight off by endlessly chasing butterflies around the Hogwarts grounds.
Fred and George shuddered. They remembered that editing session, too. Before they could think about it any more, another blue blast hurdled toward the screen. The twins grinned. Time for some more fun.
A/N: Mellimetre here. Wow. That chapter sucked. I hate Fred Penner. I didn't when I was a kid, but I do now. And Raffi. Raffi irks me. What kind of a name IS Raffi anyway?
Next chapter will be better, I promise. Sharon's writing it!
R-E-V-I-E-W!
Ttfn!
~ Author #2