Driven
"What did he do to you?" Harry whispered to her as he silently carried her into the hospital wing, feeling warmth in his arms. Hermione opened her eyes and moaned in pain, squirming in his grip. Feeling vaguely uncomfortable, Harry opened the door with a push of his foot and walked in, and set her down on an empty bed, as gently as possible, brushing the hair off of her face. Her brown eyes squinted back at him, and she had never look so vulnerable.
"Harry..." she whispered softly, pulling her arms around his neck, motioning him further. "Please..."
"Please what?" he breathed back, his hands on either side of the bed, his legs at an awkward angle. He could feel tingling rise as her hand reached up, sliding against his chest. Her palm felt warm against him.
"Kiss me," she demanded.
His eyes widened through his blood-stained glasses as he gave an audible gulp, restraining every emotion inside of him. His heart was pounding against his chest. It hurt too much. "No, Hermione, I can't..."
"Why not? I am your girlfriend, aren't I?"
Harry looked at her blankly. "Hermione, you know your not."
"What? What are you talking about? Of course you are."
"No, Hermione, Ron is," Harry said firmly. He had to do this; he couldn't cause any more drama anymore. All he wanted is to have his two best friends again, and be the same as always.
"Ron?" she repeated, then her eyes widened. "Who's Ron?"
***
You have no idea how sorry I am. I love you and Hermione so much and I know you're angry right now, and you have every right to be. You don't have to speak to me anymore, but don't take it out on Hermione, it was my fault. All mine. She's not interested in me, I've seen the way she looks at you and she's never looked at me like that before. Pure, unconditional love. When she looks at me, she sees me as the closest friend she's ever had or something. I have to do this alone. I have to save her one last time; because I know you're not going to let me see her anymore. That's okay, but I can't bear to lose you either. So please think about the conditions I promised. I promise I'll never see her again, I promise I'll do anything you want me to. As long as you forgive me a little. I know this will be hard to do, but please try.
Love,
your best friend (I hope)
Harry.
Ron felt paralyzed. Every bone, joint in his body was numb, and his mind was not getting the messages across. He re-read it several times before it did. The letter fell from his hands. Various emotions were invading his chest. Jealousy, anger, betrayl, sadness, and even a bit content. He had no idea which emotion he should concentrate on; all he knew was that he'd never felt this way in his life. Scared, confused. His body was shaking uncontrollably.
He always gets everything. Because he's famous, he had once told Hermione during his and Harry's fight during fourth year. He always gets everything, Ron thought to himself.
"Ron?"
The voice startled him as Harry's face came into view. His glasses were smudged with dirt and bloodstains, his shirt dirty and ripped, but then realization came over his face.
"You read the letter," Harry said softly.
"Yes, I did." The stone-cold way he said it shook the air so furiously that Harry backed away.
"Listen, Ron, there's a problem with Hermione's mind, she's in Dumbledore's office, I came to get you to see her..."
"Remember the summer after our fourth year? You blew up on me and 'Mione. See, this is what I am going to do right now. I AM GOING TO FUCKING BLOW UP. YOU HAVE TO HAVE EVERYTHING DON'T YOU, HARRY? IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH IF I HAVE THE GIRLFRIEND THIS TIME AND YOU WANTED HER TOO?"
"Ron, I lo-"
"DON'T YOU GET ENOUGH? I KNOW LIKE PLAYING THE FUCKING PART AS POOR ORPHAN BOY THAT GOT MISTREATED BY MUGGLES, BUT WHO GIVES A DAMN? THAT WAS THEN, THIS IS FUCKING NOW!"
"Orphan boy?" Harry was yelling now. "OH, SO YOU JUST THINK MY CHILDHOOD WAS A MESS? WHAT ABOUT CEDRIC? WHAT ABOUT FUCKING SIRIUS? WHAT ABOUT YOU? WHAT ABOUT THE TIMES YOU AND HERMIONE ALMOST GOT KILLED AT MY EXPENSE? DO YOU THINK ITS FUN, TO SAVE THE WORLD BY EITHER GETTING KILLED YOURSELF OR BECOME A MURDERER? WELL LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, IT'S NOT A FUCKING JOYRIDE! I'D KILL MYSELF IF I EVER LOSE YOU OR HERMIONE, BECAUSE IT'D ALWAYS BE MY FAULT, RON. IT ALWAYS IS. WHENEVER SOMEONE DIES, IT'S MY FAULT, OR I AM PRESENT, OR IT ALWAYS HAS TO BE ME TO SAVE THEIR ASSES! EVERYONE ALWAYS LABELED ME, RON. THE-BOY-WHO-LIVED, BUT I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT WAS ABOUT BACK THEN! HOW ABOUT 'INSANE EVIL MANIAC', LAST YEAR? EVERYONE THOUGHT I WAS CRAZY. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN 'THE-BOY-WHO-LIVED' OR THE BOY WHO COULD TALK TO SNAKES OR THE BOY WHO SAVED EVERYONE FROM VOLDEMORT! BUT NOBODY FAILS TO NOTICE SOMETHING ELSE, RON. I AM A STUPID, BETRAYING GLASS-WEARING BASTARD, ALRIGHT? I MAY HAVE DONE MY SHARE OF SAVING MYSELF OR OTHER PEOPLE, BUT IT'S ALL DEPENDED ON STUPIDITY, NOT ME. IT'S ALWAYS BEEN IMPULSE! THERE'S NOTHING ELSE TO ME THAN A SCAR AND SOME GLASSES!"
"OH YEAH, SURE, HARRY! YOUR JUST A GLASS-WEARING BASTARD. THAT'S ALL. IT DOESN'T MATTER THAT YOU'RE WRONG, DOES IT? YOU WERE PUT IN GRYFFINDOR, YOU WERE ALWAYS HARRY POTTER, YOU WERE ALWAYS THE BRAVE ONE, THE ONE THAT WAS ALWAYS BETTER THAN ME. DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES IN THE MORNING I WAKE UP AND THINK 'I WISH I COULD BE YOU'?" Ron shook with fury, his chin quivering, his eyes twitching slightly.
"AND DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY FUCKING TIMES I WISHED I WAS YOU?"
Ron and Harry both looked astonished. Harry clutched his head in his hands and plopped backwards into his bed, feeling the ringing in his ears from all the screaming. His throat was dry, his pulse beating increasingly.
"I am sorry, Ron," Harry croaked, nudging his glasses upward slightly with his hand so he would wipe his eyes. He hoped it wasn't too noticeable. Luckily, Ron seemed to have turned away and done something with his hand as well. "I am so sorry...I don't want Hermione. I don't need her as much as I need you."
He almost gasped when the truth came out; but there it was, bluntly positioned.
"What?" Ron retorted, not looking at him.
"Oh, come on, Ron. You were the first one I became friends with in Hogwarts. You know I love Hermione, but - but the truth is, when we had that fight back in fourth year, I felt frustrated; I could hardly stand to be around her at that time..."
Ron choked back a laugh. "Oh."
"And...,and, in fourth year...you know, in one of the tasks...who was the one I'd most miss?"
"Me," Ron said sheepishly.
"Right. I don't care any more if you date Hermione, all I want is it to be the same again."
"I..." Ron was speechless.
"You know, where I save the world and all that shit, and Hermione goes to the library to look up theories, you flinch at Voldemort's name, and everything like that. I want it to be the same again."
"Me too," the freckled boy agreed.
"But it can't be the same, because..."
"It will be the same," Ron said sternly. "I promise. Well, maybe not the exact same...but...I...think me and Hermione should be just best friends."
"What?" Harry looked at him, surprised. "No, Ron, I couldn't stand that if it was because of me..."
"It isn't," Ron confirmed. "I love her, and she loves me, but not the way I want her to."
"Yeah, she loves me the same way," Harry mumbled.
"Harry? Ron?" said a weak voice behind them. Harry and Ron both turned at Hermione, who was clothed in her robes again, her hair brushed, the damage in her wounds vanished. She wore a small smile on her face.
"You remember him?" Harry asked, motioning toward Ron, who looked immensley puzzled.
Hermione smiled. "Yes, it was actually Malfoy that undid it."
"Malfoy?"
"Dumbledore forced him to. And I have some good news," Hermione said excitedly, eyeing Ron.
"You do? And what the hell are you guys talking about, anyways?" Ron asked.
Hermione ignored this question. "Malfoy's going to be most likely expelled."
"Expelled?!" Both Harry and Ron jumped to their feet, tremendous grins on their faces.
Hermione nodded. "Yes."
"YES! FINALLY!" Ron yelled, jumping around frantically in utmost pleasure. Then, he stopped. "But for what, exactly?"
Hermione looked pointedly at Harry, and had a vague recalling of their third year. "You tell him," she decided, smiling at him.
***
"Love potion?"
"Apparently, when I was asleep by his side, he slipped me some." Hermione shuddered.
"I can't believe you 'did it' with Malfoy," said Ron and Harry at the same time, jealousy and disgust seeping from their voices.
"Me either. But it was to save your life...you feel okay, right?" she asked, concern washing over her face.
"Yeah...but I might need a sponge bath or something," hinted Ron. Harry bit his lip from laughing.
"Really?" Hermione said, smiling. "Alright, Harry, why don't you help with him that?"
"WHAT!?" Harry and Ron looked at each other in horror.
"So...everything's okay?" Hermione asked. "Everything...is going to be...okay again?"
"Well, it'll be a bit hard getting over the fact that we're not together anymore," said Ron hesitantly. "Who's going to annoy me every second?"
Hermione glared.
Ron grinned. "But I'll get over it. Everything will...be okay."
"Yeah, I guess it will," said Hermione after a deep breath. "Harry?"
Harry looked at both of them, then shook his head. "No, it can never be the same again."
"What?" Ron and Hermione exclaimed in the same time. "Why not?"
"Because I'll never forgive Ron for what he did," Harry said, a solemn look on his face.
"Ron?" Hermione looked confused.
"What did I do?" Ron protested.
"You called me orphan boy. I can - never - forgive that - ever," Harry said, making his eyes well up with fake tears once more.
"Harry!" Hermione said, rolling her eyes, but Ron was already pouncing on him with a nearby pillow, so she shrugged and joined in.
"I assume I am not interrupting anything massively important, then?" a drawling voice quipped. All three friends jumped at the voice, turning to where it had come from.
A boy was standing at the doorway.
It was Draco Malfoy, dressed in black robes, his silver-blonde locks slicked back this time, a cruel smile running along his lips. One eyebrow was raised in a professional manner, and in his hand were two parchments that hung carelessly off his palm.
"What the hell are you doing here?" Hermione scoffed, holding back Harry and Ron, who was looking at him "You're supposed to be expelled, Malfoy," she told him bitterly.
"I am, aren't I?" Draco shrugged, the smile faltering only slightly. "However...I have unfinished business before I leave the castle grounds."
"What does this have to do with Hermione?" Harry asked through gritted teeth. He was being restrained from killing him with his bare hands.
Draco's smile turned into a smirk in retort, and he calmly outstretched his hand, where the two parchments were neatly folded in halves. Hermione reluctantly stepped forward.
"No! You don't know what it is!" Ron exclaimed.
"Relax," Hermione murmured.
She grasped the parchments, and opened it carefully, flipping the creases downwards, and peered over the words with a sudden forbidding in her stomach, a leap in her heart, and saw her own, cursive signature at the end of the contract.
She felt frozen ice go through her veins. She could feel her throbbing temples as she reread the contract.
And got the shock of her life.
***
1:17 P.M., August 11th.
Modified Ending, August 30th, 2003
6:08 P.M.
***
Alright, people. Calm down. Do. Not. Kill. Me. Yet. I told you an upcoming event was making it's arrival at the end. Yes, this is the end of the fic. Calm down, however.
I told you I also had a surprise in store for you.
Ready for this?
A sequel.
That's right, there might be a sequel. I don't know for sure, I've actually been out of this fic for a while now, so I'd really appreciate some encouragement. Leave your email if you don't recieve update notices and would like to if the sequel comes out (yes, I've written the first chapter, but I am not sure you guys will like it).
And - by encouragement, I mean the following things:
1) Support , pure support.
2) Some reccomendations. I am in my G/D phase right now, and if you have any spectacular H/HR fics, I'd love them by review, email, MSN messenger, AOL IM, any way possible.
3) Don't tell me what or what not to write; I really hate when people do that. Especially if they say ' I like your fic, but hurry up with the H/HR stuff, and DONT put D/HR', etc. You're allowed to have an opinion, I don't mind this (example: Love your fic, I wish Malfoy would get what he deserves, though.), and I love all of your opinions, but nobody has the right to tell me what or what not to put.
I write for myself.
4) Review. Reviews help. And please not one sentence reviews. Some encouraging, critique, reviews. I'd love them. I really need them right now.
Now, now, onto the chapter a/n's.
Playlist
American Life by Madonna
A/Ns:
I am really sorry if the Ron and Harry thing was sort of... "queer", but I thought it was cute and very sweet. Oh, who am I kidding...if it wasn't for the "H/HR" shipping, I would've made them make out any time now. Oh, yes, I know you reviewers will hate me since it's not H/HR...I really don't know WHICH shipping it was, exactly, it was like a twist story that kept going on and on and on with drama. I hoped you enjoyed reading this, as much as I enjoyed writing it.
Love to all my reviewers, silent readers, critiquers, and more,
and please read Ellen Wittlinger's "Hard Love" (it's nothing like this story, but it did prompt me to write this story in the first place),
-S.A.