I hovered over James' sleeping form, my left index finger outstretched poking him repeatedly. "Poke, poke," I muttered to him in his ear. "Wake up," I whispered. James rolled over and looked at me with sleepy eyes. "Good morning sunshine," I smiled and took the covers off of him to get him awake. "It stopped snowing," I informed him.
"Wha-?" He sat up rubbing his eyes with his fist and looked outside. "Wow, it's pretty," I couldn't agree more.
**
We dressed in our rooms quietly. I dug through my clothing to find something, anything. I settled on gray snowboarding pants I wore once when I went snowboarding in Nagano. I picked apart my dresser looking for a shirt and sweatshirt to wear that fit. I pulled on a long sleeved black shirt that had written in hiragana 'Bite Me'. I tied a sweatshirt around my middle and met James in the hallway.
"You look nice," He told me. Wow, I was deprived of compliments.
"Thanks," I told him. "We'd better act like we're a couple going down there, just in case Tachibana is down there," I noted to James. He nodded and took my hand and laced his fingers through mine. I lead him down the hall and down the stairs.
My mouth fell open when I saw the person I despised most (besides Tachibana), Hitomi. Hitomi was my step-sister and the bitch from hell. She always seemed to find some flaw with me. She was just plain nasty to me. "Looks like this is going to be the trip from hell for me," I mumbled into James' ear. He looked at Hitomi reading Vogue Nippon, flipping the pages absentmindedly.
"Who is that?" He said looking at Hitomi.
"Step-sister," I winced. She smiled and ran to me.
"Yuri-chan," She hugged me so tight I thought I would bust. Here it comes. She took a piece of my hair and tugged on it. I opened my mouth and then closed it and bit my lip. No one believed me that Hitomi was mean to me, so it would do no good to scream.
"Ohayoo," I mumbled stepping back from her, fixing my hair from her tugging. I saw James looking at us confused. "Yuri is Lily in Japanese," I explained quickly.
"long time no see, ne?" She put both of her hands on her hips. "All that time in England, you better visit," Yeah, so it can be an all out war between us. I thought as she said this. My mother came in after Hitomi's comment.
"Lily, so you've seen that Hitomi came in earlier this morning," My mother was clad in dark blue pants outfit, complete with a matching hat. I was a tad surprised to see her up and dressed this early.
"Yeah, we have had the pleasure of seeing Hitomi this morning," I said sarcastically, yet no one but James picked it up and snickered at it.
"Hitomi, ready?" Hitomi nodded and stood next to my mom. "We're going to Tokyo for the day, important business with the Matsuura's," Mom stuck her nose in the air and they left. I felt pale.
"Matsuura....ack, crap, I was right, Tachibana will make an appearance this holiday," I leaned against James after they left.
"Pumpkin, can I ask you something?" James asked me, letting go of my hand. I looked at him.
"Sure, what?" I sat on the couch where Hitomi was sitting and James sat next to me.
"Well, it's been bugging me for some time...why do you go to school in England?" He asked me point blank, "I mean, you grew up here, why go to school so far away?"
I laced my fingers together and prepared to answer, "Well, my father wasn't Japanese, it's kind of obvious that I'm not 100% Japanese like Aya is. Dumbledore met with my mom and they agreed it would be best to get me out of Japan for the time being."
"Do you know who your father is?" He asked me.
"Nope,"
**
I think over that day we became a little closer. We just laid in my room and talked about odd things. I forgot that then, I was falling more into love than ever before. I was getting closer to James than I had anyone (with exception of Aya) before.
"So that's when I decided that Hitomi needed a haircut," I giggled telling James a story about Hitomi and my first row.
"I can't believe what a mischievous girl you were!" James said laughing.
"I guess I was, not a lot has changed," I said having both of my hands on my stomach. "I mean, I'd willingly sheer all of her perfect black hair off," I said. "But that will never happen,"
"You can always wish," He told me. I rolled over on my futon and looked at James.
"James, who was that in your wallet," I would find out one way or another.
"I told you, it was a very old crush. Nothing more," Something told me this wasn't the whole truth, only a little bit.
"Don't play games, what's her name?" James sighed and turned over and faced me.
"Chailuck," He said rolling his eyes. "She was the daughter of someone in my father's department. I don't like her anymore, I think I love someone else,"
"Who?" I asked smiling and anxious to hear who he 'loved'.
"It's not important," He said matter-of-factly. "I'll tell you when you tell me what you and Nobu said in the car," He smirked at me.
"Ahh! James Potter, you are so stubborn!" With that I threw my pillow at him. He hit me back on the head.
**
"Hey James, have you ever been to a club before?" I asked him after our immature pillow fight. We called it a truce
"No..." He raised his eyebrow at me. "Why?"
"Well, there is this one, but it's in Tokyo. We could go tonight! Nobu could cover for us, it'll be so much fun," I think I made James nervous.
"I don't know. Loud music and lots of people, not my idea of fun," He said. He yawned. "I'm still tiered. "I think it would be good if we went if Tachibana is coming,"
"Oh, yeah, you're right," I said a little dejected. But if you think about it, you just can subject someone to that kind of life after he'd been living like a mouse for so long.
"Look, the sun is setting," I looked outside at the sun. The light from the sun was so pretty against the snow.
"Well, I tonight is going to be kind of formal, I guess we couldn't have gone anyway,"
"What do you mean by 'formal'?" James asked me getting up from his spot on the floor. He plucked a down feather from his hair, looked at it and let it drop to the floor.
"Oh, we're all dressing in traditional wear for dinner. Bit annoying, but my step-dad has some important official coming over for dinner,"
"Oh,"
"You should ask Nobu for for something to wear, he'll be downstairs," I said to him.
**
I dressed in the kimono I bought with Aya and pulled my hair into a bun tied with a black ribbon. I put on light make-up in front of my vanity and looked myself over. I did a so-so job tying my obi, I was impressed with myself.
I took a breath. I placed my hands over my kimono to get rid of the creases and with one fleeting glance at the mirror, I left opened my door to see the James had opened his at the very moment I had. We smiled at each other.
"You look cute," James said, not able to really think of anything else to say to a girl that would much rather be wearing jeans and a t-shirt.
"Thanks," I tucked a stray piece of hair behind my ear. "So do you," After I said this, I giggled. "You know what I mean, right?" I asked giggling uncontrollable.
"Yes, Pumpkin," He took my hand (I had grown accustomed to this by now) and we walked slowly down the hall. I was really dreading seeing my step-father. He was just so...mean. But can you blame him really? His daughter is a bitch and his second wife prances around like an empress. That's got to drive any man insane, wouldn't you think so?
"I'm praying my mom won't be home, you know she loves to surprise people." I commented, my fingers crossed behind my back.
"Well, it would help to know whether she was here or not by opening your eyes," We stopped and her unhooked his hand from mine and placed each hand on each side of my face and opened my eyelids.
"I guess so," I mumbled looking at him. I had so much self control that night, it scares me. I don't think I've ever disobeyed an instinct so strong ever before and ever will. But I didn't say my heart wasn't beating about a million miles a second.
And then we continued walking. That one second I felt it. Something that I didn't know what, but know now.
**
"Sit on your knees," I advised James as we entered the dinning room. There was a table about up to a persons' knees while standing up with cushions all around. I couldn't tell if mom would be joining us since I didn't know how many business people my step-father was having over.
Minutes after we sat down, a noisy bunch came in jabbering about who knows what. Among the group of men was a middle-aged man with graying hair and a mustache. This was my step-father.
"Ah, Yuri-san, nice to see you!" He said warmly. I smiled. Okay, his intentions were good and all, but this isn't medieval times, you don't arrange for people to get married. That only happens on Reality Television.
"Nice to see you, too," My step-fathers' English is very good since he does business with a lot of people who speak English, and lets face it, Japanese isn't exactly the language of business. "Who is this?" He asked looking over James. James felt nervous.
"Ah, this is James Potter, my boyfriend," I put the cheesiest grin I could must then and pulled onto James arm. In response, he put his arm around me.
"Oh," He scuffed as he sat down and left us alone.
When dinner was served, James looked suspiciously at it and pocked at it with one of his chopsticks. I noticed this and grabbed one of his arms and whispered: "I promise it won't bite even though it's uncooked," I laughed at my own joke. "Besides, it's just white rice, carrots and seaweed. Just try it," I took both my chopsticks and took a bite of my vegetarian sushi. I wasn't one for uncooked fish.
I watched James take a bite and chew it and finally swallow the little tire-looking thing. I smiled.
**
I stayed in my kimono longer than I wished. It wasn't exactly unpleasant, I mean
I like showing James how pretty I was in it. Over that holiday, my self esteem
got much better and I'm a better person for it.
"Do you want to go outside and see the garden?" The sun had now set and the stars were shining over head. My mother had thankfully not shown up with Hitomi during the meal so we were kind of free to do what we wished since my step-father didn't care about anything but work.
"Sure," He left his plate of picked at food and followed me. We didn't draw much attention from the group of me talking about whatever men talk about. I opened the backdoor and slid on my shoes that I left by the backdoor. James did the same and followed me on the path that winded into the garden.
We stopped in the center and looked around at the crystallized plants. The moon hit everything so spectacular. I shivered underneath my kimono. James took note and placed his arms around me as we looked around.
The trees were green underneath the sheet of ice that the could air brought. The snow covered the ground and reminded me of a snow globe that had yet to be shaken. The front door opened and shut from the inside and I heard footsteps...
James looked out to who it was. I paid no attention to who was home, I was just trying hard to remember this moment forever. I could tell him now...I thought as I shivered against James' breath.
He leaned in and his face was inches from me. My heart was in my throat the whole time, but James spoke instead. "It looks like Hitomi is home with your mother," I had closed my eyes momentarily wishing maybe James would take my lips in a kiss, but after he spoke, my eyelids fluttered open to look beyond his body to see three figures.
I sighed dejectedly. "He's here." I said turning my body to face my house. "Well, this is going to be the big test, don't hold back,"
**
Why had James been so willing to do just about anything I said? I don't know, still don't really. I don't understand people in love (including myself). It does crazy things to the mind. If it's happened to you, you know what I mean. I've done things I'd never done since I fell in love.
When we returned, Tachibana was with my mother, with his plastic smile wrapped around his face. James held me close, just as if we were a real couple. "Ah, Lily, how nice to see you, Saiai," I was disgusted by this. He took my hand and kissed it. I was even more repulsed by the fact that he pressed his tongue to it. I pulled my hand away from him and whipped it on the back of my kimono.
"Always a surprise to see you," I said with not a lot of enthusiasm in my voice. "This is James, my boyfriend," I said with emphasis on boyfriend. I hope that he got the hint because I didn't want to deal with the slime ball. It was bad enough he was 19. It would be, like, illegal if he tried anything (don't make me say it), I think.
"Oh, hello," I could just tell that he despised James already. "Nice to meet you," Tachibana looked him up and down.
"You to," They shock hands and I could tell something was up, something tacit. I just didn't know what.
"Tachibana and you have lots of catching up to do, ne?" Hitomi said yanking me by the shoulders. Oh joyous day.
**
I came into James' room around half past three early that morning. I was subjected to hearing Tachibana's escapades at Tokyo U. I got fed up and put him to sleep with a simple spell. I know, no magic, but how can the Ministry get to me? I mean, they'd have total sympathy for me. I'd like to see Fudge in my position.
"Argh! I can't believe how boring someone's life can be!" I said yawning. James had one light on with a book open. He was clad in warm flannel pajamas. Somehow I wished that it was warm and he was only wearing boxers, but hey, that's just how I am.
I sat on the edge of his futon and crossed my legs Indian style. I had on flannel pajamas too since I was too cold last night. My feet were cold (when weren't they? I thought. But this was another problem entirely I found out later) so I had fuzzy slippers on. "I don't know. I was pretty boring until I met you," James said closing his book on a book mark and setting it aside.
"Well, don't let anyone know that because it's always the silent ones," I put my index finger on my chin and smiled innocently enough.
"Shut up, Lily," James shook his head in disgust. "You know, you're really different then what everyone says behind your back. They make you out as this snobby bitch. But I think I know the real Lily Tamura," This was the first time in a long while since anyone my age called me Lily.
"There is no Lily Tamura, as soon as I turn 18, I'm going to change my name to Evans. That was my dad's last name. I'm never going to see this country again. Hopefully Lily Evans will be more liked by society, but so much is placed on looks alone-"
"I think you're pretty," That was random. Really out of nowhere. But I blushed at it. I couldn't help it. "Scary sometimes, but still pretty," He said. James was just tiered. He needed sleep, I rationed. I left a few minutes later because I would have fallen asleep right then and there if I didn't get to my room. And I didn't want everyone thinking that we were that close. Although it would turn Tachibana off, but couldn't just do that. It wouldn't be fare to James.
**
I woke that morning to coffee. Coffee and pancakes. My eyes flung open and I dressed faster than I think I have in a while.
I loved pancakes. So did James.
**
The rest of the day was pretty unsettling to me. I spent the whole day running away from Tachibana with James at my heals.
"He's just so damn persistent!" I said to James when we said that we needed to talk in private for a moment. "He should just go find someone his own damn age," I said. "I'm sure there is plenty of girls who'd want to go out with him,"
"Yeah, but he's got his eyes set on you," James told me. "He won't stop until he's claimed his prize,"
"How do you know that?" I said leaning against the door of my room. "Is it some unspoken guy language?"
"Something like that. It's just we all work the same for the most part," I looked away at the sun. It was mid day, time for lunch. The snow wad beginning to melt away into small puddles around my house.
"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked a little bitchier than I meant to be. James didn't seem to notice and continued.
"We all want one thing, sad, yes, and he's not into you for you conversation skills," James raised an eyebrow as he said this. Ha ha, very funny James Potter.
"Ugh, don't bring that up. That's just wrong. I bet he wouldn't want me if he knew about the real me," I said provocatively.
"Maybe..." James thought. "he could walk in on us-" My brain tuned out for a while. Did James just say what I thought he did? I think so, "-but how to get him to catch us kissing?" Whaa!!! This wasn't happening! This was great, me kiss James Potter seriously! This like, wasn't happening! I felt like the people who win both showcases on The Price Is Right and Jump on Bob Barker as he tells you to get your pets spade or neutered.
"Really...." I put my hand on my chin like I was thinking it over, but I was trying to stop myself from jumping out of my skin.
"I guess it's going to have to wait until we think of a better plan," Oh, wait!! I've got it! It was farfetched, I have to say, but us sleeping in the same futon. Come one, it's perfect. Only problem is on getting the words out of my mouth. That would be difficult.
**
Difficult it would be. I had no idea how to bring it up. It was going to be harder than telling him my feelings. We returned to being with Tachibana to my dismay.
**
That week must have been the longest in my life. Tachibana had to leave the day before Christmas Eve, thank goodness. It left me and James to shop for Christmas presents for each other. I had a notebook out writing down possibilities, but none. I chewed on my pen that had a cute figure of a black cat with a crescent moon on its forehead.
What about a book? Not good, don't know what he's into. Nobu was driving us to a shopping district and looked at me. "Are you okay?" He asked me looking in his rear view mirror.
"Un? Oh, yes," I said taking the pencil out of my mouth. James was sitting next to me looking out the window, probably thinking the same thing as me. Maybe I could ask him. I thought better of it. It seemed kind of stupid.
**
"I'll meet you here in two hours?" I said looking down at my watch. James looked at his and nodded.
"Alright," He waved goodbye to me. He turned around and went to other way.
No for the difficult part, finding something that would look like I put a lot of thought into it. I passed a shop with books. I went inside and looked around. He wouldn't be able to read a single word, so I left.
I looked down at the sidewalk, placing one foot perfectly in front of the other. I laughed at this. It was just so stupid. It had no point and never will seem to serve purpose. Kind of like my feelings for James. They'll never be shared with anyone, not even Aya. They'll sit within me and whither away. See how stupid I was? I was young, I guess that was my excuse. Young and stupid and not knowing any better.
I walked by a store that had all kinds of watches. I looked at the store and all it's clocks. They ticked away, some with Roman Numerals, some with no numbers and ones with animals where numbers should be. I thought it was cute, the ones with animals in place of numbers.
But why would James want a big clock? I sighed in defeat.
**
I did find the perfect present, eventually. It kind of came to me and would take a lot of guts on my part. I had heard of it through a girl named Naomi when I was in grade school. She told me about it and I had stored it in the back of my mind for prior knowledge. When I passed by a craft store and saw it in the window, I went crazy. It would take a lot of work, but I was up to it because I didn't want my feelings to serve no purpose, like the way I was walking before.
I purchased what I needed and left, giggling like crazy. I couldn't believe what I was doing, I had no head on my shoulders. It was just a balloon filled with helium painted with my expression. I had to calm myself down, James might think I'm a head case or something bad.
I noticed him slouching in the place where I had last seen him with a pink bad tapped shut (I wish bags in England were like the way Japanese did it. It was just so....kawaii.
"I guess I'll call Nobu to come and pick us up," I reached into the pocket of my sweatshirt and pulled out my cell phone.
"What's that?" James asked pointing at my phone. Brain freeze.
"Huh...? Oh, yeah, you wouldn't know. It's a cell phone. You know what a telephone is, right?" James shook his head. "It's like that only portable." I explained. I thought my phone was adorable. The same character that was on my pencil hung from my phone. They were very popular in Japan back then.
**
We sat on a bench and waited for Nobu to come back in his mafia car. He came back and we jumped in. "Did you find everything okay?" He asked us. I nodded happily. I was just brimming with happy. It was disturbing, but nice. The smile on my face seemed to get bigger and bigger.
"Are you okay?" James raised his eyebrow at me suspiciously. I snapped my head to look at him. Stupid hormones.
"Ah, yes, of course!" I said sheepishly. James shook his head and looked out the window again. My voice was squeaky, like a mouse. I was imitating a mouse now. Oh well, at lease my life will be complete.
**
"A woman never runs away
A woman never hides away
In order to survive
You should not want to be healed
Without fighting
A woman never shows her fears
A woman never shows her tears
In order to survive
You should not easily
Show your tears to someone"
I had my CD player on humming along to the happy tune. I really learned a lot from this song. It made me think about my emotions and who to give them to. "Ouch!" I yelled after I accidentally (oh yeah, like I'd do it purposely...) stuck myself with a needle. "Damn it!" I yelled before I shoved my finger in my mouth to stop it from bleeding.
I picked myself off the floor and went down to the kitchen. I ran into James there. He had been in room wrapping his present for me. "Hey," I smiled at him. What I thought was strange was that he had band-aids on four of his left fingers. "Nobu, do you have a band-aid I could have?" I asked. He looked at me and re-opened the first-aid kit and put a band-aid on my bleeding cut.
"What're you two doing up there? Playing with needles?" He asked after he shut the case and replaced it.
"I guess so!" I said scratching the back of my head.
James accompanied me upstairs and we stopped at our doors. "So, what are you doing in there/ I hear a lot of 'Damn its' and 'Peice of crap!'."
"Oh, it's just being stubborn," I said leaning on my door, my hand playing with the knob. "See you later," I opened it and slid back into my room.
**
Rumor upstairs was that Tachibana would be back Christmas Eve to spend more 'time' with me. I made up my mind and I was going to tell him to go fuck himself. Not exactly lady like, but I didn't need to tell you that. He just creeps me out too much. But if I tell him this, I won't have to use my other plan, remember? The one about Tachibana walking in on us.
I finished my present and wrapped it up with red and green wrapping paper. I set it in the corner of my room and I smiled at it's odd shape. I didn't have a box to put it in, so thus, it looked like a blob of peculiar angles.
I knocked on James' door and waited to hear his voice. Instead, he opened the door and greeted me. He closed the door behind him and smiled. "Hello, what's up?" He asked me.
"Nothing really. I finished wrapping. Damn, I don't think I'll ever get the hang of it," I looked at my hands. They had paper cuts all over them along with a few cuts from scissors.
"I know, me too," James showed me his bandaged hands and I laughed at our mess.
"I don't think I was meant to gift wrap," I shook my head. "Do you want to go and get ice cream with me?" I brought up.
"Ice cream? Just look outside, it's freezing outside," He said like I was being irrational.
"Fine...how about coffee?"
"Don't drink coffee," He told me.
"Neither do I...hot chocolate?" I suggested. James shrugged. "Be out in a minute," I went back into my room and pulled on a pair of white stockings under my plaid skirt. I opened my closet and got out my big black puffy coat with the fuzzy hood and pulled it on over my sweatshirt.
"Ready?" I asked.
"Yup," He took my hand and we walked down to the front door. I slipped on my knee-high combat boots before we left. "You look like one of those crazy people you see in the Daily Prophet. The ones with the really funky hair protesting a new law." He put his shoes on.
"Really....? Be back later!" I yelled as we left.
**
Prior to our last journey, the little coffee house (that served hot chocolate to die for!) wasn't far. "I think winter is growing on me," I said as we made our way though the slush of melting snow.
"It is pretty,"
"Japan normally doesn't get this much snow...Oh! You should be here in the summer! One time I thought my face was going to melt off it was that hot!" I giggled remembering a day that had come to past.
"Really?" James smiled. "I can just imagine you with no face. There wouldn't be as much character as there is now," James was just so sweet. I was surprised that no one had scooped him up before. Any girl would kill for someone this sensitive.
"Are you sure? I didn't know that," I stuck my hands deeper in my pockets thinking about this. I smiled inwardly. I couldn't wait to give James his present. I hoped that he'll like it and understand it. Not a lot of people do.
**
I sipped the contents of the cup as I listened to the people around the table we sat at. "Isn't it good?" I asked. James pointed to his nose. "What?"
"You've got some on your nose," His hand reached out and dapped my nose with a napkin. He showed it to me. I blushed a little in embarrassment.
"Oh, thanks," I said, my blush disappearing from my cheeks. Why couldn't life be this simple? It's totally like what John Lennon said, 'All you need is love.' But maybe the person loving you in return. That would be just awesome. But at that point, I would have had to get back to you on that.
**
I woke up the next day feeling as if something was going to happen I really didn't want to happen. "Ahh!" I pushed my pillow into my face remembering Tachibana and the present I got for James. Would I have cold feet with it? I was having second thoughts. It wasn't such as good of an idea like it seemed yesterday, but I had to go through with it. If I didn't then I got all those cuts for nothing.
I dressed in a festive outfit of bright red pants with a thick black belt and green long sleeved top. I slipped into my slippers too because me feet were so cold, they were killing me!
I slipped into James' room to watch him sleep. I hunched over his bed and looked at his sleeping frame. He was like a sleeping baby. His mouth was open a little to let air in. His cheeks were so rosy and his lips had the gentlest smile.
I sat cross legged, my head in my hands (my elbows rested on my knees) and watched the new love of my life sleep. It may not seem like a big deal to you, but in it's own way to me, it was romantic.
His eyes began to move. "Good morning James," I said looking over him. His eyes went wide with surprise to see me leaning over him. A grin came to play on both of our faces.
"Hey Pumpkin," James sat up and stretched.
"Nice morning. We should start to get snow around six at night." Could you ask for a more perfect Christmas? Not me!
**
"That would be wonderful, Tachibana!" I heard my mother. I hadn't told James what I planned to say to him. He'd probably say it was a bad idea.
"Yuck, slime ball ahead...I ought to hex him," I said under my breath for just James to hear.
"Yeah, you should," James smiled smugly and put his hands into his pockets.
"Ah, Lily, your mother was telling me how much you'd love to go out for breakfast with me," Ahhh! She said what? I couldn't believe what a mother I had.
"Re-really? You don't say," I pulled James close to me and slipped my hand into his back pocket for him to get the idea. I wasn't really thinking. I didn't want to be alone with Tachibana for a second.
James (with some hesitation) put his hand in my back pocket. Too bad this was just pretend. I thought we would be so good together.
"Yes, lets go now," He put his hand onto my hand and clapped it around in a firm hold. Holy shit.
**
And so we went to breakfast leaving James all by himself. I looked at him when leaving with such a sad expression, I could see that he felt bad for having to go with Tachibana.
Tachibana had his own car and liked to drive it, didn't have a driver. He let me go on the left side and I got in. He went around to the right side and got in and started the engine. The worst was yet to come.
**
We drove for a long time, or at least it seemed that way. We just kept on going, to places I'd never seen before. I didn't want to talk to him for fear we might start a conversation. I crossed my arms and leaned onto the window with my legs crossed facing the window. I looked like I was mad, and boy did I feel it.
We stopped when we got to a house-like structure and he got out without saying a word. I got out by myself knowing he wouldn't open the door for me. I looked at my watch. We had been driving for close to an hour or so. I sighed and put all my weight on my right foot and crossed my arms with my bad-ass attitude.
"C'mon," He grabbed me by the arm so hard, it made me whimper. "I have a story for you," He said as we entered the house. The house would have been pretty with a new coat of paint. It was nestled on the side of the road. It was a one story place with a decent sized front yard.
"Make it quick, I don't want to hear your voice," I sneered back at him. Then we were inside.
"By your age a hundred years ago or so-" He stopped as he squeezed my hand and lead me to the back of the house. I started trembling then, knowing where this would leave us, and on Christmas Eve no less...."-an apprentice geisha would have a mizuage," My heart sunk dreadfully low into the ground. I wished James was hear, he would have known what to do.
"Please, no..." I whispered as he opened a door to a room with a bed. Tears fell over my pink cheeks. My mom would never believe me if I told her what happened in that room. I doubted that she knew his real intentions, if she did I think she still would have let me go.
**
I thought my eyes would be permanently red from all the tears I shed. Either that or I'd have used up all the tears I could get for a month. I felt so...I can't even find the words to properly describe it. It was so odd. Unlike any other feeling....besides the love I had for James that might not be returned by him.
I put that thought aside as we were driving back. My head rested on window making a mark where it had been. My eyes stopped crying now, they were just so besides themselves, they couldn't cry any longer.
The worst part about it was that I didn't even get to tell Tachibana to fuck himself.
**
I opened the door to my room slowly with droopy eyelids. I was just so exhausted. I didn't feel like putting my heart on the line to James, not after today.
I heard his door open and then heard a knock on mine. I jumped, not knowing what to do. I wrapped myself in a quilt and then opened the door. Immediately he saw through me. "Oh Lily, what's wrong?" He said putting both his hands on my shoulders and looked at me.
I did not say to him what I wanted. I didn't say a thing for that matter. Just a few tears came down my face and spilled onto my face. But then they started spilling onto James' shirt because he hugged me and I hugged him.
He held me there, in my doorway and rocked us back and forth, rubbing my shoulders along with our motion. "It's okay Lily," He knew what must have happened. The way his voice sounded, full of dread and understanding. The grip he had on me then, it was so protective. I stood there for I don't know how long crying. The worst was over and it was going to go uphill from here.
**
James sat me down on my bed sometime later, it must have been late afternoon by the looks of outside. He sat across from me and whipped the tears from my eyes with his hands and pushed hair from my face behind my ear. His eyes were lower than normal.
He left me alone, but said at the doorway: "Pumpkin, you should just get some rest now, I think Tachibana and I will have a little chat,"
**
I woke up I guessed an hour later. The sun had now set and a light snow had come to fall onto the ground. In the doorway I noticed James sitting, reading a book. His legs were outstretched and crossed at the ankles.
I pulled myself up to look at him. "Where's everyone, what happened?" I asked confused at the situation and why I was in bed. I didn't remember falling asleep at all.
"You needed a nap," Then I remembered as the memories came back. He was so calm the way he said it. "Everyone went out to eat. I told them you weren't feeling good," He closed the book. He was almost done.
"Oh," I felt my forehead. My head was pounding harder than my heart beat when James was near. "So you figured it out then....?" My eyes were red, I could feel it, the tears coming again.
"Well, I can assume, that's all," He turned to me.
"You know about assuming? It makes an ass of u and me," I smiled at my joke.
"That's the Lily I know," He called me Lily again. I liked that somehow since it was special between me and him since not a lot of my friends did. "If you want to tell me..."
**
It poured from my mouth like water fell over Niagara Falls. Every detail from that morning. He nodded a lot. "-and then we left," I finished after the graphic description.
"I'm so sorry Pumpkin," He hugged me again. I nestled my head on his shoulder and sighed.
'There wasn't anything you could do," I told him to make him feel less responsible.
"I know. But I wish there was something I could have done." He let me go and left for a second, coming back with a wrapped present. By the looks of it, he had used the whole roll of paper and a roll or two of scotch tape. I smiled at his lame attempt at wrapping.
"What's that?" I asked playing dumb.
"I have something else to give you tomorrow, I think this will make you feel better." He handed it to me to open. "I asked around, and found out about this,"
"Wait," I got up and got my present. "I want to give this to you. I don't want to give this to you in front of you," I handed the present to him, kind of embarrassed. I would explain it to him after he opened it.
I tore through the paper and my mouth dropped at what I saw. Sitting there was a teddy bear. It looked like James had made it. My heart went out. It was the same thing I had gotten him. "James..." joy struck my heart. He had made it himself.
"Lily, oh my God," Was what he said when he looked at the teddy bear that I made for him. I had dressed it in clothes that looked liked mine. I looked closely at the bear situated in front of me. It had little glasses made out of wire that looked just like James' and the bear dressed like James did.
"I was hoping that you might name it Lily," I said sheepishly. "Maybe you already know, but if two people give bears that they made and the person names the bear after the other, they'll be together forever,"
"I know, when asked around, they told me that story," There was some confusion. "And I want to name her Lily,"
"And he's going to be James,"
James hesitated, leaving room for me to say no. But I didn't because this is what I wanted, even with the events of earlier in my life.
His lips were soft, just as I imagined. And gentle. It was a caring kiss, the one that you give someone who you care deeply about. I just couldn't believe it. Everything was falling into place. And one of the gaps in my life was being filled. But the other gap would be filled with the help of my new boyfriend.
**
This is part one. Yay! Almost a month to write. Expect another month until
the next part. Sorry!!
DISCLAIMER:
Harry Potter belongs to J.K.R.
Song: Rainbow. Written by Ayumi Hamasaki