The End and Beginning
Chp. 23
Spike sits down on the edge of the bed, and feels her move up behind him to wrap her arms around his chest.
"What'cha thinkin'?" She asks him, placing her chin on his shoulder.
"Just about how beautiful you are, Luv." He answers as he starts to caress her arms lightly, with the tips of his fingers.
"I figured it was the fangy thing in the shower."
"Well yea, that too. What the hell am I Buffy? I'm not fully human and I don't feel like a demon. What the hell am I and why do I feel human and not act the way I was when I was human? I still feel like Spike, The vampire, not William the nancy mamma's boy."
" I don't know the answers to those questions, honey. I wish I did, but I'm glad you're still my Spike. The one I fell for, not William the nancy boy." She smiles as she says the last part.
Being serious again, she says, " Those would be good questions to ask Giles and Wesley though. They're more of the researchy type, I'm more the beheading, action type of girl." She smiles as he looks at her over his shoulder.
He smiles back and says, " I know, Luv. It's just a lot easier to talk to you. The watchers make me feel like some big science project, with all the questions they ask that I don't know how to answer. I don't have answers for them, and I get nervous."
"So, that's why, when we're around everyone it turns into a Spike/Buffy make-out session of epic proportions."
He turns around to look at her and smiles sheepishly, and then it turns into a big grin. "Well, Luv, do you blame me? I don't want to answer questions I don't have answers for. I'm just as or more confused about all of this as they are."
" I have a question for you, baby."
"Wha's 'at, Luv?"
"Well in the shower you said, you didn't know where you were, and I distinctly remember you saying you were in hell. I wanna know what that was all about."
"The truth of it is, Luv. I don't know where I was. It was totally black, there. I couldn't see my soddin' hand in front of my face. It was also like I was waiting for something/ someone. I'm not sure if it was that you and the Scoobies were goin' to bring my back is why I was there, or what. It just felt like I needed to be there to await what was comin'. Back to your question I wasn't literally in hell, but it was to me, because I didn't have you there to make it heaven. So it was total hell. My heaven is you." By the end of the explanation he has turned back around facing the door away from her.
He feels a lone tear hit his shoulder, and turns completely around to take her in his arms. "Oh, baby, don't cry. It wasn't that bad really." He says in a consoling manner, rubbing her back, soothingly.
She looks up at him, unfallen tears still in her eyes. "I think I know the answer to your question 'bout the William/Spike thing."
"Whas'at Luv?" he whispers softly.
"You're both Spike. You've always been both. The William part is the smart, loving, sweet as hell part and the Spike part is the snarky, kick ass, don't take any shit, unless it's from me, part. You've integrated both parts to become the Spike, I love and respect." She says this looking directly into his eyes. She wants him to believe it as much as she does.
He's still looking in her eyes searching for something. He sees it finally the belief in her eyes is overwhelming.
"You are a good man, William." She says while he still looks in her eyes.
He pulls her to him for a hug, and mumbles into her hair. "I KNEW you were the ONE, god, how can I love someone as much as I love you?"
"I'm just so loveable, baby." She says, sarcastically. She gets a chuckle from him. "Knew I could make you laugh."
He studies her face. "You're one hell'uva woman Buffy." He says placing a finger on the mark he made on her neck and pulling her closer for a kiss.
Pulling back from the kiss she retorts, "Yea a little bleach blonde vamp told me that once and you know what? I believe him."
He pulls her as close as he can get her, and slowly kisses her mouth, coaching it open with his tongue. She opens her mouth and invites him in. He deepens the kiss and tastes every part of her mouth that he can get his tongue into. It's a long and sensuous kiss that pours every ounce of his love and devotion in it.
As the kiss goes on, he has slowly been laying her back on the black satin covered pillows. He leaves her mouth, kissing down her face to her throat. He finds his mark and slowly sucks on it. He hears a small gasp in response to this and sucks and licks just a bit harder, getting a groan for his effort. Smiling against her throat, he proceeds to kiss down to her breast, and slowly starts kissing and nipping at it. He stays away from her nipple, until she cries out from the torturous pleasure. He slowly sucks the puckered and swollen nub into his mouth and proceeds to torture her further.
No one has ever made her feel the way Spike always does, hell no one she's ever been with has had the passion and love this one man has for her. It's pure unadulterated fire, when they're like this.
Spike leaves her breast for her ribs and stomach, nibbling, kissing and licking his way all the way to her belly button, which he kisses and then lightly runs his tongue into.
Buffy lets out loud gasp at the pure pleasure running through her abdomen.
He loves the taste and feel of her against his lips and tongue. To him she is the most expensive wine and he's getting drunk off of her.
He wants her so damned much, but he wants this to last and if he goes in now it won't last more than two minutes.
He looks up at her. She has her eyes closed, panting slightly, hair pooled out all around her. The candlelight is playing against her face.
*My golden goddess, definitely, on hell'uva woman. She's so beautiful. * He thinks as he goes back to lavishing her body with tongue, lips, and hands.
As he continues his exploration, she has opened her eyes to watch him. She thinks to herself while looking at the top of his sandy haired head. *It couldn't get any better than this, the man I love making love to me. He's a really good man*
They lock eyes as he looks up at her from his position between her thighs. Conveying their thoughts to one another. Holding a conversation, without words. Seeing all the love they have for each other in just that one glance. They both know that yes 'this is the one'.
Spike's known it. Buffy is finally figuring it out, and it's the best thing in the world to her, just being here with him.
After that look Spike slides a finger inside her to get her ready for him. She gasps loudly from the unexpected, but quite enjoyable intrusion. She grabs the soft curls on the top of his head with her tiny hands.
She thought what he was doing before was exquisite, she now knows there's something a whole lot more exquisite.
He feels her muscles tighten slightly and knows she's ready. Slowly slides into her, giving her sometime to adjust to him.
He sets a slow and steady pace; he's not going to rush this.
This is how he always wanted it to be between them. Although what they had before wasn't anything to complain about, but she had never let him make slow love to her, it was always a frenzied mating, nothing like what is happening now. Of course it was always love to him, because that was all he knew when it came to her. It was either love her or want to kill her. There was never any in-between. When it came to her it was always love, ALWAYS LOVE.
Now that he gets to finally do what he always wanted, he wants it to go on forever.
With all these thoughts going through his head, he almost misses the guttural moan she lets out and knows that she is almost there. He's nowhere near.
He stops moving and looks down at her, after he kisses her slow and sensually he says, "Not yet, Baby."
He picks back up into a really slow rhythm, trying to make it last as long as possible.
*Not yet baby, he says! My god, I'm about to implode here. * Buffy thinks. Even though she wants it to last as long as possible, too. God if it doesn't feel so good. She loves this man, and you can see it written all over her face.
She looks up into those deep, cerulean eyes and instantly calms. She sees the total love there and it makes her heart beat faster and louder. How could she not have seen it the so many other times they'd been together, before this?
*You were an idiot, that's why. * She thinks chiding herself for her stupidity. Picturing her past self and beating the hell out of her, in her mind.
He tenses up and she knows he's ready.
She picks up the pace for him, but just a slight bit and moans. Whispering out gibberish, that makes absolutely no sense what so ever.
He pulls her to him, whispering over and over, again. "My beautiful, golden goddess I love you so, so much."
She opens her eyes, and looks straight to his and moans out "I love you, Spike."
Just at that moment he can't hang on any longer. He reaches between them and twists at her most sensitive spot. She screams his name and they both explode in ecstasy together.
Panting they come down from they're high and snuggle into each other, neither one moving.
She's lying on his chest, head resting on his shoulder. His arms are around her, chin resting on the top of her head. He kisses it getting a mouthful of hair, he doesn't even care, and he just made love to his woman. He's in heaven, just laying here with her.
He turns on his side; she's still lying up against him, facing him.
"You remember once I told you, that the night you let me hold you in that abandoned house, was the best bloody night of my life?"
"Yea, that was the night you laid it all out there, for me. I don't think I could ever forget it."
"Well, I lied then."
She looks at him, with a look of disbelief.
"This bloody night beats any other night I've ever had, as the best bloody night of my life, Luv." He says in explanation.
She smiles and snuggles a little closer to him, and looks up at him, smiling. "Tell me about it."
"Luv, you were there I believe you already know about it." He says, smiling down at her, and chuckling.
She smacks him lightly on the stomach.
"Holding you was something, but getting to make love to you, and you actually being there and knowing it was me. That's the best thing by so soddin' far. You don't know how much that means, how much you mean to me." He says, getting serious again.
"Yeah, I do know. I seen what you went through, Spike. Everything you've done. Hell you died for me. It took me awhile to figure it out, but I didn't know it was really love 'til that split moment that you were gonna leave me, like all the rest. I know you did it to save the world, but you were still leaving, just after I finally knew that the feelings were love, and I was dying all over again."
'I brought you back; well I should say that Wills and the rest of the gang brought you back. Now that I think about it. I'm kinda highly pissed at them. They sent me off to look at some stupid weapons, knowing full well that they were gonna bring you back and they didn't tell me or even let me be there. Oh! They are so going to get it.'
Spike's been sitting there listening to her little rant, tears in his eyes. " You know how I felt the night they brought you back, now. I saw you on those stairs and your hands were all scratched and bleeding and it killed me. I knew in that instant what had happened. I wanted to kill every soddin' one of 'em.
'They had brought you back and didn't even see fit to tell me. Hell I didn't even have a clue as to what they were plannin', Luv. For a hundred and forty seven bloody days I was in misery. Saving you in my dreams every night, I didn't want to wake up. At least then I got to see you and be near to you. Which brings up the question, Luv. How long was I gone?'
"Two days, one hour, and thirty two minutes. Well that's up until I saw you lying on that table, in that god-awful room. How long was it for you?"
"You love me that much, Huh? Never thought I'd see the day a Slayer would love a vampire so much she actually counted the minutes he was gone." He chuckles, slightly.
'As for how long it was for me, in all the blackness, it seemed like forever, Luv. When I got here and seen you lyin' on that floor, it seemed like five minutes. I can't believe you actually counted the minutes.' He chuckles again.
"Yes Spike I love you that damned much." She says slapping him lightly on the chest.
Then she yawns and says, "I'm a little sleepy."
" Go to sleep, Pet. I'll be here when you wake, and I'll hold onto you all night long."
She leans up and presses a kiss to his soft lips, then snuggles deeper into his chest, and falls into a peaceful sleep.
He presses a kiss to her head and whispers "I love you, Pet." Into her ear as he closes his eyes and falls into a peaceful dreamland, along with her.
(Damn that took way to long to type, I guess it didn't help that "Crush" and "I was Made to Love You" was on and well I took a 2 hour break. But still this sucker is long. I hope you guys enjoyed and I think I answered a couple of questions in this one, and thanks to MSU Did you have to take that shower? Just wondering. Cause after writing this one I believe I might have to have one myself.)
Chp. 23
Spike sits down on the edge of the bed, and feels her move up behind him to wrap her arms around his chest.
"What'cha thinkin'?" She asks him, placing her chin on his shoulder.
"Just about how beautiful you are, Luv." He answers as he starts to caress her arms lightly, with the tips of his fingers.
"I figured it was the fangy thing in the shower."
"Well yea, that too. What the hell am I Buffy? I'm not fully human and I don't feel like a demon. What the hell am I and why do I feel human and not act the way I was when I was human? I still feel like Spike, The vampire, not William the nancy mamma's boy."
" I don't know the answers to those questions, honey. I wish I did, but I'm glad you're still my Spike. The one I fell for, not William the nancy boy." She smiles as she says the last part.
Being serious again, she says, " Those would be good questions to ask Giles and Wesley though. They're more of the researchy type, I'm more the beheading, action type of girl." She smiles as he looks at her over his shoulder.
He smiles back and says, " I know, Luv. It's just a lot easier to talk to you. The watchers make me feel like some big science project, with all the questions they ask that I don't know how to answer. I don't have answers for them, and I get nervous."
"So, that's why, when we're around everyone it turns into a Spike/Buffy make-out session of epic proportions."
He turns around to look at her and smiles sheepishly, and then it turns into a big grin. "Well, Luv, do you blame me? I don't want to answer questions I don't have answers for. I'm just as or more confused about all of this as they are."
" I have a question for you, baby."
"Wha's 'at, Luv?"
"Well in the shower you said, you didn't know where you were, and I distinctly remember you saying you were in hell. I wanna know what that was all about."
"The truth of it is, Luv. I don't know where I was. It was totally black, there. I couldn't see my soddin' hand in front of my face. It was also like I was waiting for something/ someone. I'm not sure if it was that you and the Scoobies were goin' to bring my back is why I was there, or what. It just felt like I needed to be there to await what was comin'. Back to your question I wasn't literally in hell, but it was to me, because I didn't have you there to make it heaven. So it was total hell. My heaven is you." By the end of the explanation he has turned back around facing the door away from her.
He feels a lone tear hit his shoulder, and turns completely around to take her in his arms. "Oh, baby, don't cry. It wasn't that bad really." He says in a consoling manner, rubbing her back, soothingly.
She looks up at him, unfallen tears still in her eyes. "I think I know the answer to your question 'bout the William/Spike thing."
"Whas'at Luv?" he whispers softly.
"You're both Spike. You've always been both. The William part is the smart, loving, sweet as hell part and the Spike part is the snarky, kick ass, don't take any shit, unless it's from me, part. You've integrated both parts to become the Spike, I love and respect." She says this looking directly into his eyes. She wants him to believe it as much as she does.
He's still looking in her eyes searching for something. He sees it finally the belief in her eyes is overwhelming.
"You are a good man, William." She says while he still looks in her eyes.
He pulls her to him for a hug, and mumbles into her hair. "I KNEW you were the ONE, god, how can I love someone as much as I love you?"
"I'm just so loveable, baby." She says, sarcastically. She gets a chuckle from him. "Knew I could make you laugh."
He studies her face. "You're one hell'uva woman Buffy." He says placing a finger on the mark he made on her neck and pulling her closer for a kiss.
Pulling back from the kiss she retorts, "Yea a little bleach blonde vamp told me that once and you know what? I believe him."
He pulls her as close as he can get her, and slowly kisses her mouth, coaching it open with his tongue. She opens her mouth and invites him in. He deepens the kiss and tastes every part of her mouth that he can get his tongue into. It's a long and sensuous kiss that pours every ounce of his love and devotion in it.
As the kiss goes on, he has slowly been laying her back on the black satin covered pillows. He leaves her mouth, kissing down her face to her throat. He finds his mark and slowly sucks on it. He hears a small gasp in response to this and sucks and licks just a bit harder, getting a groan for his effort. Smiling against her throat, he proceeds to kiss down to her breast, and slowly starts kissing and nipping at it. He stays away from her nipple, until she cries out from the torturous pleasure. He slowly sucks the puckered and swollen nub into his mouth and proceeds to torture her further.
No one has ever made her feel the way Spike always does, hell no one she's ever been with has had the passion and love this one man has for her. It's pure unadulterated fire, when they're like this.
Spike leaves her breast for her ribs and stomach, nibbling, kissing and licking his way all the way to her belly button, which he kisses and then lightly runs his tongue into.
Buffy lets out loud gasp at the pure pleasure running through her abdomen.
He loves the taste and feel of her against his lips and tongue. To him she is the most expensive wine and he's getting drunk off of her.
He wants her so damned much, but he wants this to last and if he goes in now it won't last more than two minutes.
He looks up at her. She has her eyes closed, panting slightly, hair pooled out all around her. The candlelight is playing against her face.
*My golden goddess, definitely, on hell'uva woman. She's so beautiful. * He thinks as he goes back to lavishing her body with tongue, lips, and hands.
As he continues his exploration, she has opened her eyes to watch him. She thinks to herself while looking at the top of his sandy haired head. *It couldn't get any better than this, the man I love making love to me. He's a really good man*
They lock eyes as he looks up at her from his position between her thighs. Conveying their thoughts to one another. Holding a conversation, without words. Seeing all the love they have for each other in just that one glance. They both know that yes 'this is the one'.
Spike's known it. Buffy is finally figuring it out, and it's the best thing in the world to her, just being here with him.
After that look Spike slides a finger inside her to get her ready for him. She gasps loudly from the unexpected, but quite enjoyable intrusion. She grabs the soft curls on the top of his head with her tiny hands.
She thought what he was doing before was exquisite, she now knows there's something a whole lot more exquisite.
He feels her muscles tighten slightly and knows she's ready. Slowly slides into her, giving her sometime to adjust to him.
He sets a slow and steady pace; he's not going to rush this.
This is how he always wanted it to be between them. Although what they had before wasn't anything to complain about, but she had never let him make slow love to her, it was always a frenzied mating, nothing like what is happening now. Of course it was always love to him, because that was all he knew when it came to her. It was either love her or want to kill her. There was never any in-between. When it came to her it was always love, ALWAYS LOVE.
Now that he gets to finally do what he always wanted, he wants it to go on forever.
With all these thoughts going through his head, he almost misses the guttural moan she lets out and knows that she is almost there. He's nowhere near.
He stops moving and looks down at her, after he kisses her slow and sensually he says, "Not yet, Baby."
He picks back up into a really slow rhythm, trying to make it last as long as possible.
*Not yet baby, he says! My god, I'm about to implode here. * Buffy thinks. Even though she wants it to last as long as possible, too. God if it doesn't feel so good. She loves this man, and you can see it written all over her face.
She looks up into those deep, cerulean eyes and instantly calms. She sees the total love there and it makes her heart beat faster and louder. How could she not have seen it the so many other times they'd been together, before this?
*You were an idiot, that's why. * She thinks chiding herself for her stupidity. Picturing her past self and beating the hell out of her, in her mind.
He tenses up and she knows he's ready.
She picks up the pace for him, but just a slight bit and moans. Whispering out gibberish, that makes absolutely no sense what so ever.
He pulls her to him, whispering over and over, again. "My beautiful, golden goddess I love you so, so much."
She opens her eyes, and looks straight to his and moans out "I love you, Spike."
Just at that moment he can't hang on any longer. He reaches between them and twists at her most sensitive spot. She screams his name and they both explode in ecstasy together.
Panting they come down from they're high and snuggle into each other, neither one moving.
She's lying on his chest, head resting on his shoulder. His arms are around her, chin resting on the top of her head. He kisses it getting a mouthful of hair, he doesn't even care, and he just made love to his woman. He's in heaven, just laying here with her.
He turns on his side; she's still lying up against him, facing him.
"You remember once I told you, that the night you let me hold you in that abandoned house, was the best bloody night of my life?"
"Yea, that was the night you laid it all out there, for me. I don't think I could ever forget it."
"Well, I lied then."
She looks at him, with a look of disbelief.
"This bloody night beats any other night I've ever had, as the best bloody night of my life, Luv." He says in explanation.
She smiles and snuggles a little closer to him, and looks up at him, smiling. "Tell me about it."
"Luv, you were there I believe you already know about it." He says, smiling down at her, and chuckling.
She smacks him lightly on the stomach.
"Holding you was something, but getting to make love to you, and you actually being there and knowing it was me. That's the best thing by so soddin' far. You don't know how much that means, how much you mean to me." He says, getting serious again.
"Yeah, I do know. I seen what you went through, Spike. Everything you've done. Hell you died for me. It took me awhile to figure it out, but I didn't know it was really love 'til that split moment that you were gonna leave me, like all the rest. I know you did it to save the world, but you were still leaving, just after I finally knew that the feelings were love, and I was dying all over again."
'I brought you back; well I should say that Wills and the rest of the gang brought you back. Now that I think about it. I'm kinda highly pissed at them. They sent me off to look at some stupid weapons, knowing full well that they were gonna bring you back and they didn't tell me or even let me be there. Oh! They are so going to get it.'
Spike's been sitting there listening to her little rant, tears in his eyes. " You know how I felt the night they brought you back, now. I saw you on those stairs and your hands were all scratched and bleeding and it killed me. I knew in that instant what had happened. I wanted to kill every soddin' one of 'em.
'They had brought you back and didn't even see fit to tell me. Hell I didn't even have a clue as to what they were plannin', Luv. For a hundred and forty seven bloody days I was in misery. Saving you in my dreams every night, I didn't want to wake up. At least then I got to see you and be near to you. Which brings up the question, Luv. How long was I gone?'
"Two days, one hour, and thirty two minutes. Well that's up until I saw you lying on that table, in that god-awful room. How long was it for you?"
"You love me that much, Huh? Never thought I'd see the day a Slayer would love a vampire so much she actually counted the minutes he was gone." He chuckles, slightly.
'As for how long it was for me, in all the blackness, it seemed like forever, Luv. When I got here and seen you lyin' on that floor, it seemed like five minutes. I can't believe you actually counted the minutes.' He chuckles again.
"Yes Spike I love you that damned much." She says slapping him lightly on the chest.
Then she yawns and says, "I'm a little sleepy."
" Go to sleep, Pet. I'll be here when you wake, and I'll hold onto you all night long."
She leans up and presses a kiss to his soft lips, then snuggles deeper into his chest, and falls into a peaceful sleep.
He presses a kiss to her head and whispers "I love you, Pet." Into her ear as he closes his eyes and falls into a peaceful dreamland, along with her.
(Damn that took way to long to type, I guess it didn't help that "Crush" and "I was Made to Love You" was on and well I took a 2 hour break. But still this sucker is long. I hope you guys enjoyed and I think I answered a couple of questions in this one, and thanks to MSU Did you have to take that shower? Just wondering. Cause after writing this one I believe I might have to have one myself.)