Chapter Six: Reminiscence
"I...have no idea how I knew that...I had a strange dream, and--"
"--oh, I see."
See? Se what? Did Selphie know what was going on or something?
"This happened to us--um, Irvine, Zell, Quistis, Squall, and me--when we were in Trabia. It was about then we started piecing together our childhoods. Memory loss is a side effect of a GF, and it affected all of us...but was it about two years ago? ...well, at that time we started remembering, so we'd start writing it all down so we wouldn't forget," she smiled. "I've done okay at writing it all down, but there's just so many blank spots…" she sighed. "I wanted to remember it all before--" she stopped, another thought overtaking her last one. "You were there too, y'know. We all knew each other as kids. Except Rinoa, but you probably already knew that too. But it's really strange, 'cuz I don't remember much about you at all...I never remember talking to you a lot...all I remember about you was that you fought with Squall and Zell all the time...."
"It's your fault, Seifer!"
"No, it's your fault, Squall!"
The two boys were once again in a heated argument, much to the other children's dislike.
"I want 'em to stop fighting..." the brown-haired girl sighed. "I hate it when people fight..."
"I want them to stop too, Sefie," commented the blonde haired girl.
"I'll make 'em stop!" the blonde-haired boy grinned, punching the air.
"No, Zell," the girls chorused in unison.
"Please, Quisty?" Zell asked, turning to the blonde girl.
"Maybe we should go get Matron!" Sefie suggested. "She's so smart that she'll know what to do!"
"I'll go get her!" Zell exclaimed, running off.
"What if they get in trouble for fighting?" Sefie bit her lip.
"Maybe we should talk to them and get them to stop!" Quisty suggested, rushing over to Squall. Selphie ran towards Seifer.
"Seifer, wouldja please stop fightin' with Squall?" she asked politely.
"He started it!" Seifer scowled.
"Wouldja stop fighting anyway? Zell went to get Matron...I don't wantcha to get in trouble!!"
"Why do you care?!"
"'Cause I'm your friend...remember?"
"I never remembered that, though...I never could remember anything about you," Selphie said honestly, thoughtfully staring at the night sky out the window of the library.
"I never could remember anything..."
"Sometimes our memories come back, whether it's because we change our junctions or for some other reason, but I'm always glad when I remember something new. Some things are even harder for me to remember, because if they hurt me in any way, I hid them away from myself and then when I started using GFs...maybe that's why it took me so long to remember that I was even friends with you before..."
"The memories of your friends hurt you? Why?"
"Well, I really missed you all when I went to Trabia, so I tried to forget about you so that my memories wouldn't hurt me..."
"I wanna remember everything," Seifer sighed. "I'm tired of not even knowing the story of my own life..."
"Well let's see what we can remember, then."
"You're not tired? It's awfully late..."
"Pssht. It's only midnight. If they close the library on us, we'll just go to the training center to talk. I'll stay up until three in the morning if that's what it takes."
He had been four or five when he was first left at Matron's house. For the first few weeks, he had refused to leave his room, confused and upset about the death of his parents.
It was during this time he first met her.
"Um, hi!" A small, brown-haired girl ran inside the room and smiled. She seemed about a year younger than him, maybe, but she was little enough to have been two years younger than him... "Why don't you come outside and play with us?"
"No. If my Mommy and Daddy come back, and I'm outside, they won't find me. So I'm gonna stay right here and wait for them."
"...What happened to your Mommy and Daddy?"
"I dunno. I got told they went to the clouds, but maybe they'll get back from there soon."
A sad expression crossed the girl's face. She sat down beside him, looking at him thoughtfully.
"I know where your Mommy and Daddy are at. My Mommy and Daddy are there too. It's a place called 'Heaven', but they're not gonna come back..."
"But…they have to! Don't they miss me?!"
"Of course they miss you!! But they're up their with their Mommies and Daddies, and their Mommies and Daddies won't let them come back here. I've been at Matron's house since I was a little-bitty baby. My Mommy and Daddy went to Heaven a long, long time ago. Hey! Maybe my Mommy and Daddy have met your Mommy and Daddy and they're playing right now! I bet they're really good friends and they're probably having lots of fun! Will you come and play with me?"
"...okay."
"My name's Sefie!"
"I'm Seifer."
"I guess," she sighed, "we both tried to forget this one...not because it was our initial meeting, but because of our parents. Let's not give up yet, though! Let's remember as much as we possibly can!"
He was seven or eight now, and had never remembered feeling angrier at her, at Matron, at the entire world...
"Sefie's about to leave. Aren'tcha gonna go say goodbye?" Quisty had asked him.
"No. She told me we'd always be friends, and now she's leaving. She lied to me."
"Well, I'm gonna go tell her bye anyway," Quisty frowned, dashing off.
Sefie had been his only good friend...Sure, he was friends with the others, sometimes, but she was the only one with enough patience to deal with his temper. She was the only one he never ended up fighting with.
"Seifer?" Aren'tcha gonna talk to me?" Sefie asked in a quiet, hurt tone of voice, slowly walking into the room he was in.
"No," he snapped. "You lied to me. You told me you'd always be my friend, and now you're leaving too!! First Squall left, and now you're leaving too!!"
"Matron's making me leave! You'll have to leave soon too!!"
"I don't care!! Go away!! Leave me alone! You're not my friend anymore!!"
"Fine," she snapped, crying. "I'll go away! But I'm gonna be your friend, again, someday, just wait and see!"
With that said, she turned and ran out.
"Selphie...I acted like such an idiot..."
"You were just a kid, Seifer, I don't care...Besides, we're friends, now, right?"
One of his worst habits was not thinking before he spoke, and once again, words slipped out of his mouth before he could even give them a second thought.
"Always and forever."
~//~