Chapter Ten: Fate
He sat in her hospital room wit her, reminiscing about memories he didn't even know he had. Yet as soon as she'd pick up on a story, he'd automatically remember being there. It made him wonder, how many memories did he once have that he'd lost? But as long as he could recover them, he didn't really care. And even so, he didn't need to remember all of his past anyway. It wasn't the past that mattered, nor was it the future. It was living for today that mattered.
"My big brother," Sei smiled, voice barely audible over the machines keeping her alive. "I can't thank Sefie enough for allowing me to meet you once again."
"If I had known you--"
"--don't apologize for fighting against me again, Seifer. Had you not destroyed my anger, I'd still be enveloped in darkness causing chaos in the world...You helped me, actually. It is I who should thank you."
"Sei..."
"I hate to play the part of the older sibling here, but go to bed. It's 10:00, and I don't care if you don't think you need rest, I do and I can't sleep with you in here. Go away."
He smiled, shaking his head. So they were alike, in a lot of ways...she was just...hm...different, and that was the only way he could think to put it.
"Wish we could have spent more time together, brother, but fate is a cruel person. Very cruel indeed...I always loved you as my brother and looked up to you, and I always will. Good night, Seifer."
"G'night, Sei."
~//~
There was a sharp knock at his door around 5 that morning. He scowled, pulling his pillow over his head. Whoever was out there must have been really brave--anyone who woke him up earlier then he intended on getting up wasn't exactly the brightest crayon in the box.
"Seifer," he heard Selphie call. "This is important..."
He lazily stood up, quickly changing from his pajamas into his regular clothes and opening the door. She was lucky, he thought to himself. I don't get up like this for just anyone.
Only for you, Sefie...
"Have a seat," Seifer said, letting her in and vaguely gesturing around the room. She sat at the foot of his bed, and he plopped down beside her. Her eyes were red and puffy, as if she'd been crying for quite a long while, and her hands were clasped in her lap.
"We lost Sei this morning."
Seifer shook his head.
I don't wanna believe this at all...I don't wanna believe that the only family I got left is gone...but...I knew it was coming...I think she did too. I think that's why she said everything she did...and the true meaning of her goodbye...
"It's my fault," Selphie sniffled. "She was my best friend, and I killed her..."
"Sefie..."
"I'm sorry. I just thought you should know that she's..."
He stood up, stretching.
"I don't know how to feel about this," he admitted. "Obviously I'm sad because I never got to know her, but I don't feel like, overcome with grief because I didn't really know her. I only recovered a few memories with her, and I only talked to her, really, when she was normal, once...is that bad?"
"Not at all, Seifer."
He glanced at his old yearbook that was still laying open on his desk, then his eyes traveled to Selphie.
"You feelin' okay? I been meanin' to ask you this. Cid's not over-stressin' ya, is he?"
"No, Headmaster Cid isn't stressing me at all. Do I look stressed?"
"Yeah."
"Oh. I guess I may be, then, but it's not Headmaster Cid's fault. I've just been thinking...about Sei and all...and you never know when you'll live your last day..."
He sat down beside her again, both of them silent. It wasn't a bad silence, though, it was actually quite nice. He was perfectly content just to be here with her, and nothing more.
"Well," Selphie finally said, as if an idea had just come to her. "You know what?"
"No, what?"
"It's been a month since that night in the training center, when I promised you I'd teach you to enjoy life. ...have I showed you how great life is?" she asked anxiously, twisting her hands in her lap.
He smiled, nodding slowly.
"Selphie...that night, I felt so hopeless and alone...Like there was nothing in the world worth me living for. And then--then I met you. Despite all the crappy stuff that's happened this month, this has been the greatest month of my life."
She grinned, clapping her hands in delight.
"That's great! I'm so happy!"
"You taught me more then just the meaning of life, though."
A confused look passed through her eyes.
"I did?" she asked, tilting her head to the side making her look like a cute, innocent little child.
"Yeah. You..." he paused, unsure of whether he could actually admit this to her or not. This is Selphie we're talking about...she'll understand, or whatever, but she won't laugh or make fun of you or make you feel stupid...just say it, Seifer... "You taught me the meaning of true love."
She blinked a few times, looking slightly uncomfortable.
"How so?" she asked faintly.
Isn't it obvious?
"Ever since Ultemecia, I lost my friends...Fujin and Raijin stuck around for awhile, but even they ended up turning against me...I was completely alone. And I swore that I hated everyone and everything, because that's obviously how they felt about me. That was for the first bit, but after that...when I really started feeling suicidal and depressed, I realized I wasn't gonna be able to keep living without a friend...and then I met you. You've changed my life so much, Selphie...if you wouldn't have talked to me that night in the training center, I wouldn't be here. You've taught me how great life is, and I...I don't know how to say this. If something were to happen to you right now, I don't know how I'd survive. I love you, Sefie."
She jumped up, tears instantly filling her eyes.
"No you don't!! You don't feel that way about me!! You can't say that!"
Then...she doesn't feel the same...I can't believe I just told her all that, and she doesn't even care...
"I'm sorry, then," he frowned. "I hoped you'd feel the sa--"
"--Seifer, I do feel the same!" she cried. "It's just...it'd never work out..."
"Why?!" Selphie, you never admit that anything's impossible!! Where there's a will, there's a way. How many times have I heard you say that?! What on earth are you talking about?! "Does this have something to do with Irvine?!"
"No," she sighed impatiently. "Irvine has nothing to do with this."
"Then what is it, Sefie?"
"Seifer..."
"What, what is it?"
"You'll still feel the same, even after I tell you? You won't hate me?"
The scared look in her eyes broke his heart. He reached over and took her hand.
"Of course, Sefie, of course I'll still feel the same. I'll never hate you. What's wrong?"
"Seifer, I...I have cancer."
~//~