Chapter Twelve: My Dreams
Selphie's condition had only gotten worse as the days progressed, eventually reaching the point where they had to permanently hospitalize her. She had refused to leave Balamb Garden's infirmary, however, saying she didn't want to die alone in some hospital.
She slept a good deal of the time, but tried to stay awake as much as she possibly could.
"Aren't you tired too If you keep camping out in this awful little room, you'll get sick too!" Selphie exclaimed to Seifer, who had, for the last consecutive two weeks stayed in the hospital room with her.
But Seifer had refused to leave her room except when Dr. Kadowaki kicked him out, or some of Selphie's other friends came to visit. Obviously her friends who were on the mission in Centra were back, since Zell would bring Selphie cafeteria hotdogs on a daily basis and Quistis would bring copies of 'Timber Maniacs' to keep her occupied. Squall dropped in quite frequently to visit, and Rinoa would sometimes talk to her for hours. Even Irvine occasionally dropped in, a look of guilt on his face that Seifer knew he deserved to be feeling...
"I'm not tired," he responded absent-mindedly, sitting beside her bed, hardly able to look at her for all the machines hooked up to her, yet at the same time hardly able to not look at her because even in her weak, sickened state, she was still so beautiful...
"Seifer, what are you gonna do with your life?"
He let those words sink in, taken somewhat by surprise.
"Whaddya mean?"
"What are your dreams?"
"I dunno," he replied thoughtfully. At one time he had wanted to become a sorceress's knight, but that dream was long since over. "I'll do whatever Cid wants me too, obviously, as a SeeD...but, hm...wonder if I could pick up a side job?"
"I bet you could handle it. What are you wanting to do?"
"I think...I think I'd like to go into sciences and medicines. I'd like to find a cure to cancer."
"I think that's a great idea..." she smiled, eyes closing as she drifted into an uneasy sleep.
He closed his eyes too, squeezing her hand and leaning back in his chair, drifting into a state somewhere in between sleep and consciousness...
"You know what?" Selphie mumbled sometime later.
"What is it, Sefie?"
"I'm not gonna cry anymore. Because I'm not gonna leave this world crying."
He hated it when she spoke like this, speaking about her death and leaving this world...
"You're the bravest person I know, Sefie."
"I don't think it's courage I'm leaving with, though..."
"I do," he smiled.
She smiled too, eyes traveling to the clock on the wall.
"Seifer, it's late...you really should go get a good night's sleep for once."
"I don't wanna leave you."
"I'm worried about you. You've got circles under your eyes. Go sleep for at least three hours, okay? Please? For me?"
How could he possibly resist? It was as if she, just by giving him that pleading look, had completely taken over his world.
"Fine," he sighed, standing up and reluctantly letting go of her hand.
"Oyasumi, Seifer," she smiled.
"Good night, Selphie," he smiled as well, kissing her. "Love you."
"Love you too, Seifer...See you tomorrow," she waved as he walked out the door.
~//~