Clouded Judgement
~Still Frame [Trapt]
Please help me 'cause I'm breaking down, this picture's frozen and I can't get out (of here) / Believe me, I'm just as lost as you / And every time I think I've finally made it / I learn I'm farther away than I've ever been before / I see the clock and it's ticking away, and the hourglass empty / What the f*** do I have to say / Keep it inside the image portrayed / As if I couldn't stand losing as if I couldn't be saved, no way / A small confession I think I'm starting to lose it / I think I'm drifting away from the people I really need / A small reflection on when we were younger / We had it all figured 'cause we had everything covered / Now we're older it's getting harder to see / What this future will hold for us, what the f*** are we going to be? / I'm afraid I'm falling farther away (from where I want to be) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gourry returned about an hour later, a grim expression seeming completely out of placec on his normally cluelessly happy face. The hatred, which had somewhat subsided sincee he had left but not completely, still made his whole visage seem obscured with darkness, this kind of feeling was just not right on Gourry and he couldn't think of any other time he had ever felt this way.
Suddenly, he realized as he stepped through the threshold of Lina's house, after no one had answered his knocks, the severe need of a calm, almost soothing attitude. His memory went back to the look on Lina's face when he fought Xellos for her pride, it was as if she had saw her death just before it was about to take her, and perhaps she had, but Gourry knew this, he never wanted to see it on her again. Jsut as hatred did not suit him, that kind of fear was just NOT Lina, Lina was not afraid and Gourry did everything within his power, without the waste of a life or course, to make sure that would never happen again, he had every confidence he could muster that his plan had worked, only the morning would tell.
Now however, was the time necessary to be thought about, down the long, wide, seemingly endless hall, made longer by what awaited him at the end, he walked, trying to lighten his expression into that naive look that so made her angry at times. 'Any mood would be better than that whish she's most likely in right now....' A flash of worry flew through his eyes, quickly diminished when he walked into her room.
Inside, he found Zelgadiss facing the corner, looking like a punished child who had just been told to stand in the corner until they thought about what they did, only, he seemed to be blushing slightly. This confused Gourry until he glanced into the actual room, dimly light by lamplight from Lina's bedstand. The light shown around the room, reflecting the deep crimson walls, red had been Lina's favorite color since they had been children, coming to rest on the two figures who seemed to be wrestling in front of the foot of the bed, theire backs turned on the door and Gourry. Voices reached his ears:
"Come on Miss Lina! Please, just put this robe on, you don't wanna look indecent for Mr. Zelgadiss do you?"
"I don't care, I just wanna be alone, go away!"
"I can't do that Lina, you know I can't! Please, just do this and you can be alone."
"I just want to leave why can't you let me?"
"Oh dear, that robe really is too big isn't it?"
Gourry reddened slightly but walked into the room, causing Lina and Amelia to stop immediately what they were doing. Lina spun around, the robe successfully on her but that's not what Gourry first noticed, the complete lack of trust for anything, especially him, sank his heart and surrounded him in a cloud of despair. "Lina?" He began to advance toward her slowly, hoping to coax her by using a soft, comforting tone, only to have it shoved rudely back into his face.
"No! All of you just go away!!!" Tears streaked down Lina's face, it was as if she was a whole new person, one that no one liked, not for it's rudeness, but for it's utter vulnerability and fear of everything.
"But, why Lina?" Gourry's mind was sinking back into it's comfort zone, where he knew nothing. Like many people, if Gourry went through a hard time or traumatizing event, his mind would retreat into the depths of itself, leaving him clueless to the world. Once he had tried to tell Lina this when she had asked him about his late mother, she had merely giggled and told him his mind was always like that.
"You left me!" The comment was so softly spoken, but the volume it held in meaning screamed in Gourry's mind.
"But Lina, I never wanted to leave, it was my parents. We kept in touch, and I'm here now! Please, talk to me, don't say those things though!"
Lina's face adopted that of intense anger. Zel had stepped away from the corner, but not far, wanting to stay away from the redhead's anger as much as possibly, he knew what she was capable of, a gift granted few now-a-days it was considered a curse. Still though, he couldn't avoid the anger soaked distrustful glare Lina sent to everyone in the room. "You left me, you all abandoned me! My sister doesn't even care!" Gourry quickly took stock of who was present in the room and indeed found that Luna was comsumately absent. "And now, I've been betrayed by the only one I could have loved!" Gourry felt as if he had had been forced to watch as someone ripped his heart out and now let him watch himself bleed to death. His mind started to grow dark, receeding into blissful ignorance.
Gourry shook his head forcibly, bringing himself back to reality. Lina needed him right now. Amelia's yell helped bring him back along with a shove that unbalanced him so suddenly he almost fell atop Amelia. Not long did it take to find that Lina had ran out on him, dashing out of the house and down the dark street.
Amelia's eyes grew puffy and red with unshed tears, she looked hopefully up at him, "Please Mr. Gourry, please go after her. Don't let her hurt herself."
Without a second thought, Gourry sped off after Lina, nearly tripping up in the clothes Lina still had strewn about on the floor of the hall and foyer from when she came home from the festival. Not slowing down however, he followed the large purple sheen that reflected the streetlight as it's wearer raced down the road towards the....Gourry's eyes suddenly bulged, he HAD to catch up to her.
Zel took Amelia's arm in his, a grim look set on his face, although hiding some kind of fondness, Amelia blushed despite the situation.
"Come Amelia, there'll be nothing more we can do here, let me take you home." *** Lina ran, blindly, nothing flashed through her mind as she ran, and yet, somewhere inside she knew what she was about to do, and she was scared. Only once before had she thought of doing this, but then she thought back to what he would feel, what he'd say, why she was so concerned about what he would think, she didn't know, but she knew she didn't want to make him upset, it just didn't seem right on him. But now, he had betrayed her trust twice, albeit not on purpose, but that didn't matter to her anymore, it wouldn't happen again, never again, and it scared her more. Running to the bridge, she took a blind leap off the edge and closed her eyes at the feeling of pure flight came over her, only, she wasn't flying. *** Gourry threw the top half of his body over the bridge, reaching for all he was worth, anchoring himself as only years of sword practice would allow a person, to the ground, holding him in place. To his surprise, and extreme joy, his hand gripped something and he held on for all her life was worth.
From underneath him, he could hear cries and struggles, "Just let me go! You've left me before, just please!"
"No, Lina, I WON'T!" He grunted as he began to pull her up.
Lina looked up at him, the anger that once clouded it now abated, she saw this man holding onto her, wanting her to stay in this life for as long as she could. The emotion given in that one act was more than Lina had ever felt from a person since her mother had simply explained something to her rather than physically punish her. It was a sense that someone actually loved her rather than simply put up with her.
And then, his hand slipped. Lina screeched, despertaely trying to find a hold. She wanted to stay, stay forever, with him. To live life, greet the sun each morning, waking up in Gourry's arms each morning. Strange how love can come at the most inconvenient times.
"Gourry don't let go! Don't leave me!" *** Gourry threw his other arm over and grabbed Lina's one little hand with both of his. With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he hefted Lina over the guardrail of the bridge, pulling her into his arms, as if convincing himself that she really was safe, she really was here, with him. "Sh, it's ok, I'm never gonna leave again, I promise."
Almost instantly, the whole situation caught up to Lina, she began to sob into Gourry's pale blue shirt, soaking it in the procecss of apologizing for everything. Gourry merely ran his one hand through her hair while his other held her 'round the waist, close to him. *** Silence reigned as Lina's sobs dwindled to shaky hiccups. Gourry still hadn't moved from his position, holding her protectively, shielding her from the evils of the world that dared stride near her in her vulnerable state.
It only took a little while for Gourry to finally move, "Lina?" Only, nothing came back to him as he found she had fallen asleep. He couldn't help but smile fondly, this is how it should be, it just felt too right.
In one graceful movement, he picked her up and walked proudly back to Lina's house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a/n: ok, so there's one more chapter to go, i decided i'd finish up with extra fluff so those who don't like sappy stuff, then this'll be your last chapter. hope you enjoyed this fic, cuz i really liked writin in! comments welcome! and now, i'll finally get round to writin that one story i promised all those xel/lina fans! ttyl!
lay i claim to no slayers character, or that of which was made by trapt
Please help me 'cause I'm breaking down, this picture's frozen and I can't get out (of here) / Believe me, I'm just as lost as you / And every time I think I've finally made it / I learn I'm farther away than I've ever been before / I see the clock and it's ticking away, and the hourglass empty / What the f*** do I have to say / Keep it inside the image portrayed / As if I couldn't stand losing as if I couldn't be saved, no way / A small confession I think I'm starting to lose it / I think I'm drifting away from the people I really need / A small reflection on when we were younger / We had it all figured 'cause we had everything covered / Now we're older it's getting harder to see / What this future will hold for us, what the f*** are we going to be? / I'm afraid I'm falling farther away (from where I want to be) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Gourry returned about an hour later, a grim expression seeming completely out of placec on his normally cluelessly happy face. The hatred, which had somewhat subsided sincee he had left but not completely, still made his whole visage seem obscured with darkness, this kind of feeling was just not right on Gourry and he couldn't think of any other time he had ever felt this way.
Suddenly, he realized as he stepped through the threshold of Lina's house, after no one had answered his knocks, the severe need of a calm, almost soothing attitude. His memory went back to the look on Lina's face when he fought Xellos for her pride, it was as if she had saw her death just before it was about to take her, and perhaps she had, but Gourry knew this, he never wanted to see it on her again. Jsut as hatred did not suit him, that kind of fear was just NOT Lina, Lina was not afraid and Gourry did everything within his power, without the waste of a life or course, to make sure that would never happen again, he had every confidence he could muster that his plan had worked, only the morning would tell.
Now however, was the time necessary to be thought about, down the long, wide, seemingly endless hall, made longer by what awaited him at the end, he walked, trying to lighten his expression into that naive look that so made her angry at times. 'Any mood would be better than that whish she's most likely in right now....' A flash of worry flew through his eyes, quickly diminished when he walked into her room.
Inside, he found Zelgadiss facing the corner, looking like a punished child who had just been told to stand in the corner until they thought about what they did, only, he seemed to be blushing slightly. This confused Gourry until he glanced into the actual room, dimly light by lamplight from Lina's bedstand. The light shown around the room, reflecting the deep crimson walls, red had been Lina's favorite color since they had been children, coming to rest on the two figures who seemed to be wrestling in front of the foot of the bed, theire backs turned on the door and Gourry. Voices reached his ears:
"Come on Miss Lina! Please, just put this robe on, you don't wanna look indecent for Mr. Zelgadiss do you?"
"I don't care, I just wanna be alone, go away!"
"I can't do that Lina, you know I can't! Please, just do this and you can be alone."
"I just want to leave why can't you let me?"
"Oh dear, that robe really is too big isn't it?"
Gourry reddened slightly but walked into the room, causing Lina and Amelia to stop immediately what they were doing. Lina spun around, the robe successfully on her but that's not what Gourry first noticed, the complete lack of trust for anything, especially him, sank his heart and surrounded him in a cloud of despair. "Lina?" He began to advance toward her slowly, hoping to coax her by using a soft, comforting tone, only to have it shoved rudely back into his face.
"No! All of you just go away!!!" Tears streaked down Lina's face, it was as if she was a whole new person, one that no one liked, not for it's rudeness, but for it's utter vulnerability and fear of everything.
"But, why Lina?" Gourry's mind was sinking back into it's comfort zone, where he knew nothing. Like many people, if Gourry went through a hard time or traumatizing event, his mind would retreat into the depths of itself, leaving him clueless to the world. Once he had tried to tell Lina this when she had asked him about his late mother, she had merely giggled and told him his mind was always like that.
"You left me!" The comment was so softly spoken, but the volume it held in meaning screamed in Gourry's mind.
"But Lina, I never wanted to leave, it was my parents. We kept in touch, and I'm here now! Please, talk to me, don't say those things though!"
Lina's face adopted that of intense anger. Zel had stepped away from the corner, but not far, wanting to stay away from the redhead's anger as much as possibly, he knew what she was capable of, a gift granted few now-a-days it was considered a curse. Still though, he couldn't avoid the anger soaked distrustful glare Lina sent to everyone in the room. "You left me, you all abandoned me! My sister doesn't even care!" Gourry quickly took stock of who was present in the room and indeed found that Luna was comsumately absent. "And now, I've been betrayed by the only one I could have loved!" Gourry felt as if he had had been forced to watch as someone ripped his heart out and now let him watch himself bleed to death. His mind started to grow dark, receeding into blissful ignorance.
Gourry shook his head forcibly, bringing himself back to reality. Lina needed him right now. Amelia's yell helped bring him back along with a shove that unbalanced him so suddenly he almost fell atop Amelia. Not long did it take to find that Lina had ran out on him, dashing out of the house and down the dark street.
Amelia's eyes grew puffy and red with unshed tears, she looked hopefully up at him, "Please Mr. Gourry, please go after her. Don't let her hurt herself."
Without a second thought, Gourry sped off after Lina, nearly tripping up in the clothes Lina still had strewn about on the floor of the hall and foyer from when she came home from the festival. Not slowing down however, he followed the large purple sheen that reflected the streetlight as it's wearer raced down the road towards the....Gourry's eyes suddenly bulged, he HAD to catch up to her.
Zel took Amelia's arm in his, a grim look set on his face, although hiding some kind of fondness, Amelia blushed despite the situation.
"Come Amelia, there'll be nothing more we can do here, let me take you home." *** Lina ran, blindly, nothing flashed through her mind as she ran, and yet, somewhere inside she knew what she was about to do, and she was scared. Only once before had she thought of doing this, but then she thought back to what he would feel, what he'd say, why she was so concerned about what he would think, she didn't know, but she knew she didn't want to make him upset, it just didn't seem right on him. But now, he had betrayed her trust twice, albeit not on purpose, but that didn't matter to her anymore, it wouldn't happen again, never again, and it scared her more. Running to the bridge, she took a blind leap off the edge and closed her eyes at the feeling of pure flight came over her, only, she wasn't flying. *** Gourry threw the top half of his body over the bridge, reaching for all he was worth, anchoring himself as only years of sword practice would allow a person, to the ground, holding him in place. To his surprise, and extreme joy, his hand gripped something and he held on for all her life was worth.
From underneath him, he could hear cries and struggles, "Just let me go! You've left me before, just please!"
"No, Lina, I WON'T!" He grunted as he began to pull her up.
Lina looked up at him, the anger that once clouded it now abated, she saw this man holding onto her, wanting her to stay in this life for as long as she could. The emotion given in that one act was more than Lina had ever felt from a person since her mother had simply explained something to her rather than physically punish her. It was a sense that someone actually loved her rather than simply put up with her.
And then, his hand slipped. Lina screeched, despertaely trying to find a hold. She wanted to stay, stay forever, with him. To live life, greet the sun each morning, waking up in Gourry's arms each morning. Strange how love can come at the most inconvenient times.
"Gourry don't let go! Don't leave me!" *** Gourry threw his other arm over and grabbed Lina's one little hand with both of his. With a sudden burst of adrenaline, he hefted Lina over the guardrail of the bridge, pulling her into his arms, as if convincing himself that she really was safe, she really was here, with him. "Sh, it's ok, I'm never gonna leave again, I promise."
Almost instantly, the whole situation caught up to Lina, she began to sob into Gourry's pale blue shirt, soaking it in the procecss of apologizing for everything. Gourry merely ran his one hand through her hair while his other held her 'round the waist, close to him. *** Silence reigned as Lina's sobs dwindled to shaky hiccups. Gourry still hadn't moved from his position, holding her protectively, shielding her from the evils of the world that dared stride near her in her vulnerable state.
It only took a little while for Gourry to finally move, "Lina?" Only, nothing came back to him as he found she had fallen asleep. He couldn't help but smile fondly, this is how it should be, it just felt too right.
In one graceful movement, he picked her up and walked proudly back to Lina's house. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ a/n: ok, so there's one more chapter to go, i decided i'd finish up with extra fluff so those who don't like sappy stuff, then this'll be your last chapter. hope you enjoyed this fic, cuz i really liked writin in! comments welcome! and now, i'll finally get round to writin that one story i promised all those xel/lina fans! ttyl!
lay i claim to no slayers character, or that of which was made by trapt