*A/n: wow, this chapter it pretty damn smarmy. Its that type of smarynesss
that can only be emitted from one's self after listening way too much
dashboard confessional. If you want to gag me with a spoon I'm sorry. I
think its almost done, just an epilogue if I want. Ack, thanks for all the
nice comments from reviewers, and if you hate my story I'm terribly sorry,
really I am*
14
"Ron?" She didn't know how to say it. Was it supposed to be something like, 'Hey Ron, its not like I hate you or anything but I don't like you like that anymore, okay?' And Hermione knew very well that it wasn't going to work, because he could do something horrible then, run off or something. Or worse... Hopefully he wouldn't quite school again.
Of course Hermione didn't now if he would be a wimp about it, especially after he found out she had dumped him for Snape. He might get angry. Or pretend as if she didn't even exist. Poor Ron, she thought to herself, one minute you think you got it going on. The next your being dumped for a professor.
"What Hermione?" He said looking up from his bacon. He was so damn innocent. God this was going to hurt her to do. "Did Hagrid send you a letter or something?" And with a dazzled peep from Hermione he stole the letter out of her long forgotten hands.
Ron found the letter a tad bit different then the friendly letter from Hagrid he had expected. And it showed in his face as his brow changed from its relaxed position to one that looked as if it was bent in half. Because he was bewildered at this, why would Harry be advising Hermione? Why would Hermione ever listen to him? And what the hell was she supposed to tell him?
"What the hell..." Ron managed to sputter but Hermione had managed to dash around the table by this time and jerk Ron up. "Don't fuck with me Hermione, what does this mean?" Ron continued as Hermione tried desperately to pull Ron to the doors.
All Hermione could do now as pray Ron would shut up and let her explain. This wasn't how she imagined it would go. Of course she had no clue what picture she wanted to be painted inside of her head in the first place. And she just felt helpless pulling him out the door. There was nothing that was easy to say or do right now. Everything was just so fucking difficult. Maybe it wouldn't have been this difficult if Harry had gotten away with killing her parents in the first place.
Because Ron wouldn't have caught him then. And Ron would still be an outcast from his family and the wizard world in general. And it is a mean and horrible thing to want, but Hermione knew if that was true that things would be better. At lest for her. She could still be with Severus. Though she would still have no parents, just one lost friend. One lost friend that if she could stop lying to herself she could admit she would probably be happier without right now.
But at the teachers table there was one other person who was involved in all this who didn't know quite what to think. Because His eyes watched all of Hermione's frantic movements. Her hair windswept from running and struggling, her robes off center, and her whole entire emotional balance seemed to be also.
He wanted to do something to help her. Anything, he thought to get Hermione to have to go with him. But his horrible potions professor instincts must have been waning because he could think of no reason to get her in trouble.
It wasn't going to help much anyhow he thought. It was just a lover's quarrel, they would work it out. But secretly he wished it were more.
...
The empty classroom was dark and claustrophobic, the light finding its way around the heavy curtain. Not that the room was dusty. The house elves would never have let that happen. Hermione had desperately dragged Ron here, and it seemed like a rather long ways away but she knew it only seemed that way because Ron was shouting at her the whole way. A group of inquisitive Hufflepuffs was staring when she had ducked into the room.
Hermione was wondering why she hadn't had a break down already.
But it didn't really matter now because Ron was still yelling. Something about not listening to him. That was probably true wasn't it? If he would ever shut up she could actually talk to him. Of course what to say was beyond her. Yes that would be the moment that the break down would actually happen Hermione concluded. Right now Ron was just yelling her at. She wasn't experiencing it. No instead she was inside her own damned head trying to figure out how any of this would work out.
But it wouldn't work out. That was what she could feel a terror inside her chest telling her. And that terror was making her heart pump so fast. Or perhaps it was that running up stairs that did that. Or just maybe it was because she was going insane.
That was certainly what Ron thought. He had called her insane for what seemed to be twenty times already. Insane for writing to that basterd. Insane for not tearing that letter up on spot. Insane if she was even considering listening to Potter. Of course he had yelled thirty times more to tell him what potter had told her to tell him.
"You're such a hypocrite Ronald!" Hermione manage to scream over him. Then the room fell silent. Oh shit, she had to do something now.
Hermione silently walked towards the window and flung the curtains open .The sunlight streaming in Ron squinted to see her frame outlined in the blinding light. Hermione just continued to open the widow. Perfectly normally Hermione reactions Ron thought exasperatedly.
What was wrong with her? He killed your parents, don't you remember? How can you even think of talking to him let alone asking for advice? Why couldn't she have just come to him? And that just made him more afraid about what this was all about.
"I don't expect you to understand." Hermione said simply looking out the window. A warm breeze hit her face and she willed herself to face Ron, but she couldn't do it. Then she would break down. And then He would think she didn't want to do this. That she was just doing this because Harry Potter was telling her to. He thought she was messed up enough in the head to listen to him. But she wasn't, she just realized what she wanted because of him.
"Understand what?" Ron asked with a thread of anxiousness sewn into his voice. he inquisitively watched Hermione trace the frame of the window. She flicked the imaginary dust off her finger. He just stood there, waiting.
"The letter..."
"Bloody Hell, I don't give a damn about the letter anymore, I want to know what it means." Ron cried out in frustration. He was tired of this game. Why wouldn't Hermione just get to the point? Ron marched up to her and tried to look into her eyes. She looked away. He grabbed her head and forced a look.
Hermione's throat formed a dry block. And Ron wasn't giving up. Didn't he realize this made it harder? He was smothering her. She needed air. And with a sharp intake of breath She stuttered the word "I"
"I" ... don't love you. I love Severus. I am insane. I need my space. I need someone to hold me. I need Severus to hold me. I need you to quite being so protective. I know Harry is insane. I am not dumb. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt me either. I just want to do what is right. I am not quite sure I know what is right...
And with her shudder and a million thoughts weaved in her head, she shoved Ron away. She let the tears itching in her eyes finally fall and laid her head in her arms on the windowsill. And a small bird on the sat next to her and decided to sing a beautiful song, perhaps just in spite of her.
...
Severus glanced around the room, trying to look as though he was just looking for something wrong with everyone's potions. Trying to seem like he wasn't concerned about anything. Luckily no one ever looked him in the eye if they didn't have to anyways. So no one could tell that he really was desperately concerned about the fact Hermione was gone.
Her and Ron were having a long bout then, if they were still fighting. Or perhaps they had already made up and were making out and Hermione not noticing she was missing potions. The thought about Ron gave him a headache. Always had. But now that he had this horrible mental image of him snogging Hermione, it was worse then ever.
She probably wanted to avoid Potions anyhow.
"Where is Ms. Granger?" He barked out to the class that were all quietly concentrating on the extremely advanced potion he gave them. A few glanced up, but most just continued trying to fix the potion from being horribly wrong. Stupid kids will they not pay attention to him? Oh, wait there was Malfoy...
"Her and Ron left breakfast early, looked as if Weasley was going to explode. Rumor is the mudblood cheated on him." Malfoy drawled out adding too much powdered lizard lungs to his potion. Snape choose to ignore this, instead wondering if Draco had made up this rumor himself.
"Or they are just fucking in an abandoned classroom on the third floor." Pansy Parkinson added looking at Malfoy, who gaged in turn. Snape wanted to do so also but settled for glaring at Pansy who looked very pleased at herself.
"Honestly they shouldn't reproduce." Malfoy muttered, though saying it loud enough for Pansy to let out a pathetically stupid giggle. How she even managed to get this far was beyond Snape. And the mix of her and Malfoy was enough to make anyone's blood boil.
And then he had to pretend to love them, damn their parents.
But not today. No he was worried about Hermione. Or rather worried about what she was doing. The fact he didn't want to consider the options of what she was doing was not keeping them from rolling across his mind. Especially after Malfoy winked at Pansy who let out another one her annoying giggly screeches.
"Silence." Severus sighed out, knowing he would have rather shouted it instilling fear in them. But he "liked" them and he was supposed to be agitated at Ms. Granger not them. "Malfoy, I'm leaving you in charge, While I go and find Ms. Granger. "
Malfoy beamed Saying 'good luck' evidently being sure Gryffindor was going to lose housepoints for this one. Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes and turned on his heel out the door. Hearing the door slam shut behind him he could almost imagine the chaos that had already started happening though he was but one step away from the door.
But he had bigger things to worry about. Things that as he thought of them made him almost want to slow his frantic steps down. Things like what he would walk in onto. Or what might have been this fight been about. Okay, so it was true Ron ad Hermione always had these stupid "disputes." And maybe it was nothing. But what if it was something more horrible.
He couldn't put anything past the old member's of the Hogwarts trio. Somehow they had all gone downhill and didn't know when to stop. Like how Ron had moved out and left his family. Not that Severus really cared. But he did care about that other one... Hermione.
Hermione didn't know when to stop either. Like when she kissed him. She didn't know when to stop doing anything she could do to hurt Harry. Because as it left a bitter scratch in Harry, it left one in him too. And he told himself that he should be angry about it. He should be enraged to the full limit an ex-death eater should be enraged to. But oddly enough he wasn't.
It's been more like a sick test. Like he had dealt with so many more important things then this silly girl, that it shouldn't bother him. At least that's what his head screamed at him.
So when Severus opened up the closed door to the abandoned class room n the 3rd floor corridor, he had to admit he was rather pleased they weren't making out or some thing along those lines. As much as it would have pleased him to take away points from Gryffindor it was still better this way. Even though it would have been better not to feel something to see Hermione in tears and Ron glaring angrily at her. And even though his better conscious intelligent left side of his brain was telling him not to indulge into his hidden passion for Hermione, he did so anyhow.
"Hermione," Let the name hang in the air. As stepping closer to her heart broken form. He looked at her eyes, though red and glazed over he wanted to see them more then anything. Lightly placing his fingertips on her cheekbone he saw her swimming brown eyes and leaned down to place a small kiss on her forehead. He then pulled back and stepped away, only wondering what Ron might say.
"This is complete and utter bull." Ron shouted from his position still next to the window. Fists balled up, and face as red as his hair. Cause you would be quite agitated too, and hour latter you have received not one answer at which the letter in question was about. And just as you thought you were breaking through some person who hated you walked in, and totally interrupted all you've been working at all morning.
Especially for Ron, he had been walking a fine line the last weeks. It got to be tiring, trying not to make Hermione cry. He understood it was all very hard for her, but he could only handle so much negativity. All the tears left really nothing for him. He felt as though there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. And that there was nothing she could do to make him happy anymore, because she couldn't even be happy with her own damn self.
Ron had not fucking idea that this relationship was going to be like this when he thought of Hermione before. No, she was always more loving and less longing. And then there was this letter, from Potter. And when she read it, he saw the first smile flicker on her lips that he seen in what seemed to be forever. No it was longer then that, it was last summer.
He still had the crumpled letter in his hands and looked at it. Then he looked at his professor and his girlfriend. What the hell, he thought, go with your instincts. And he hoped to god that his instincts were wrong. And he was no more physic then a tealeaf. But he was going to say it, since they were both staring expectantly at him now, waiting for him to say something.
"Hermione I won't allow you to fall in love with him." Ron shook the letter. Looking at her fallen face as his mouth gaped open at what he, himself, had just said. His heart pounding out of his chest in a vain refusal to his mind telling to keep his emotions down. "I mean, if you want to not be with me, I can live with that." Ron looked at her looking fixedly at the floor tile, him trying to breath, finally relaxing he needed to breath out and not in. "I can just not let you do that to yourself Hermione."
"I would not go as far to say love Mr. Weasley" Came Snape's cold voice, and for once Ron was happy to hear it because he didn't know how long he could go on talking for himself. "I don't know if she could..."
"No," Ron forced the voice out of his mouth to stop Snape. Something about his old professor was easier to talk to then Hermione anyways. A little easier, but not much. "She would have to love Potter to stick with him this long."
Hermione let out a cackle like laughter, because this was all so awkward. Because Ron had gotten it so wrong. She crossed over to him and gave it a hug. She could only imagine Severus behind her still trying to catch up. She felt Ron awkwardly pat her on the back from this hug. And she let go, to save him from his own embarrassment.
"No," Hermione said biting lip that was actually trying to curl up into a smile at Ron's accusations. She sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. "I would never love Harry, Ron."
"You wouldn't? I mean, I just thought, your face was so..."Ron face flooded with a huge blush, as he inspected his shoes now. "What was the, ?"
And then the room fell into its utter silence again. And Ron almost wished he hadn't asked. Hermione felt the exact same way, because she as much as she wanted to say it had all her self-confidence depleted out of her. She gulped, and looked at her hands, mad urge to bit her fingernails suddenly occurring. But instead she found herself tracing the shirt in front of her that was such a dark navy that it was almost black. But it wasn't black. She listened to Severus breath a little more deeply with her touch.
"It told me to tell Severus I" She was staring so hard at that navy fabric But now his hands came down and intertwined with hers. She dared to look up into his eyes. And she saw there the most genuine smile, because though something of a smile played at his lips his eyes could not lie. And you could never trust Severus without that.
But then Hermione stopped, because as wonderful as this all seemed, there was Ron. And she looked at him. He had his hand buried in his pockets, and he gave a rather feeble excuse for a shrug. And of course Hermione felt so guilty.
"I'm sorry Ron;" She spoke softly, latching onto Severus's hands for support. And what was she supposed to say to Ron? Something horrible cliche, like 'Lets still be friends' or try to explain how and why, which really wouldn't make much since anyways. And she felt so damned horrible, she felt like the worst person ever.
"Its okay Hermione, things weren't the greatest anyways, and he's a slight improvement from Harry... I guess." Ron stumbled on, so many words falling out of his mouth, he wasn't keeping track of what he was saying. It didn't matter anyways. He was going to have to break up with her soon if she was always so miserable anyways. And this way she wasn't more miserable by the matter. Of course if it was the other way around maybe he wouldn't feel like his internal organs were all taken out and stomped on. But then again maybe he would have still felt this way.
"I hate to interrupt this teenage drama and all." Severus butted into the dead silence, that was in fact as much of the conversation Hermione and Ron were having as much as the words. "But I came down here in the first place to bring Ms. Granger to class, and I have spent a bit of time down here and I am absolutely petrified to see what shape my classroom is in by now, and so.."
Hermione nodded her head. He was still Snape, and there was something comforting about that. Or it was just the fact they could all have a reason to leave this room. Hermione let go of her professor's hands and walked up to Ron. She gave him a peck on the cheek.
"I hope this will all work out." She muttered, and blushed immediately at how much more cliché that was then 'lets still be friends' and turned approaching the door handle to turn it and be followed by Severus out the door where he took her hand again and they walked silently to the potions room.
And for once they both felt at least a bit contented, maybe with a twinge of hopefulness each.
...
Potions class ended, Hermione stood watching Draco Malfoy finally exit the room smirking at her. He was convincing that Gryffindor had just lost a ton of house points. But she couldn't help roll her eyes because Slytherin had lost more because of the right state the room was in when they arrived. And the fact that his potion was done absolutely horribly. Not that she was even allowed to attempt to do the potion herself.
She had managed to take such a long time doing the absolute nothing of putting her cauldron away that she was the last one left in the room except for Severus. She had just finished slowly putting her notes into her bag and closing it. Finished she looked up to see Severus looking at her transfixed. She smiled at the gaze, and he rewarded her with a smile returned.
"I really should punish you Ms. Granger." Her said in a tone that let her know that he was really considering it. He crossed across the room to go ending up looking down at her listening to the not yet familiar sound of his pounding heart because he was not yet all that familiar at being with her. Gazing down into her brown eyes he let a kiss fall between them. A sweet suffocating kiss because he was not sure he could breath anymore. Because he wanted her.
And he wasn't quite sure if breathing was that important anymore.
14
"Ron?" She didn't know how to say it. Was it supposed to be something like, 'Hey Ron, its not like I hate you or anything but I don't like you like that anymore, okay?' And Hermione knew very well that it wasn't going to work, because he could do something horrible then, run off or something. Or worse... Hopefully he wouldn't quite school again.
Of course Hermione didn't now if he would be a wimp about it, especially after he found out she had dumped him for Snape. He might get angry. Or pretend as if she didn't even exist. Poor Ron, she thought to herself, one minute you think you got it going on. The next your being dumped for a professor.
"What Hermione?" He said looking up from his bacon. He was so damn innocent. God this was going to hurt her to do. "Did Hagrid send you a letter or something?" And with a dazzled peep from Hermione he stole the letter out of her long forgotten hands.
Ron found the letter a tad bit different then the friendly letter from Hagrid he had expected. And it showed in his face as his brow changed from its relaxed position to one that looked as if it was bent in half. Because he was bewildered at this, why would Harry be advising Hermione? Why would Hermione ever listen to him? And what the hell was she supposed to tell him?
"What the hell..." Ron managed to sputter but Hermione had managed to dash around the table by this time and jerk Ron up. "Don't fuck with me Hermione, what does this mean?" Ron continued as Hermione tried desperately to pull Ron to the doors.
All Hermione could do now as pray Ron would shut up and let her explain. This wasn't how she imagined it would go. Of course she had no clue what picture she wanted to be painted inside of her head in the first place. And she just felt helpless pulling him out the door. There was nothing that was easy to say or do right now. Everything was just so fucking difficult. Maybe it wouldn't have been this difficult if Harry had gotten away with killing her parents in the first place.
Because Ron wouldn't have caught him then. And Ron would still be an outcast from his family and the wizard world in general. And it is a mean and horrible thing to want, but Hermione knew if that was true that things would be better. At lest for her. She could still be with Severus. Though she would still have no parents, just one lost friend. One lost friend that if she could stop lying to herself she could admit she would probably be happier without right now.
But at the teachers table there was one other person who was involved in all this who didn't know quite what to think. Because His eyes watched all of Hermione's frantic movements. Her hair windswept from running and struggling, her robes off center, and her whole entire emotional balance seemed to be also.
He wanted to do something to help her. Anything, he thought to get Hermione to have to go with him. But his horrible potions professor instincts must have been waning because he could think of no reason to get her in trouble.
It wasn't going to help much anyhow he thought. It was just a lover's quarrel, they would work it out. But secretly he wished it were more.
...
The empty classroom was dark and claustrophobic, the light finding its way around the heavy curtain. Not that the room was dusty. The house elves would never have let that happen. Hermione had desperately dragged Ron here, and it seemed like a rather long ways away but she knew it only seemed that way because Ron was shouting at her the whole way. A group of inquisitive Hufflepuffs was staring when she had ducked into the room.
Hermione was wondering why she hadn't had a break down already.
But it didn't really matter now because Ron was still yelling. Something about not listening to him. That was probably true wasn't it? If he would ever shut up she could actually talk to him. Of course what to say was beyond her. Yes that would be the moment that the break down would actually happen Hermione concluded. Right now Ron was just yelling her at. She wasn't experiencing it. No instead she was inside her own damned head trying to figure out how any of this would work out.
But it wouldn't work out. That was what she could feel a terror inside her chest telling her. And that terror was making her heart pump so fast. Or perhaps it was that running up stairs that did that. Or just maybe it was because she was going insane.
That was certainly what Ron thought. He had called her insane for what seemed to be twenty times already. Insane for writing to that basterd. Insane for not tearing that letter up on spot. Insane if she was even considering listening to Potter. Of course he had yelled thirty times more to tell him what potter had told her to tell him.
"You're such a hypocrite Ronald!" Hermione manage to scream over him. Then the room fell silent. Oh shit, she had to do something now.
Hermione silently walked towards the window and flung the curtains open .The sunlight streaming in Ron squinted to see her frame outlined in the blinding light. Hermione just continued to open the widow. Perfectly normally Hermione reactions Ron thought exasperatedly.
What was wrong with her? He killed your parents, don't you remember? How can you even think of talking to him let alone asking for advice? Why couldn't she have just come to him? And that just made him more afraid about what this was all about.
"I don't expect you to understand." Hermione said simply looking out the window. A warm breeze hit her face and she willed herself to face Ron, but she couldn't do it. Then she would break down. And then He would think she didn't want to do this. That she was just doing this because Harry Potter was telling her to. He thought she was messed up enough in the head to listen to him. But she wasn't, she just realized what she wanted because of him.
"Understand what?" Ron asked with a thread of anxiousness sewn into his voice. he inquisitively watched Hermione trace the frame of the window. She flicked the imaginary dust off her finger. He just stood there, waiting.
"The letter..."
"Bloody Hell, I don't give a damn about the letter anymore, I want to know what it means." Ron cried out in frustration. He was tired of this game. Why wouldn't Hermione just get to the point? Ron marched up to her and tried to look into her eyes. She looked away. He grabbed her head and forced a look.
Hermione's throat formed a dry block. And Ron wasn't giving up. Didn't he realize this made it harder? He was smothering her. She needed air. And with a sharp intake of breath She stuttered the word "I"
"I" ... don't love you. I love Severus. I am insane. I need my space. I need someone to hold me. I need Severus to hold me. I need you to quite being so protective. I know Harry is insane. I am not dumb. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want to hurt me either. I just want to do what is right. I am not quite sure I know what is right...
And with her shudder and a million thoughts weaved in her head, she shoved Ron away. She let the tears itching in her eyes finally fall and laid her head in her arms on the windowsill. And a small bird on the sat next to her and decided to sing a beautiful song, perhaps just in spite of her.
...
Severus glanced around the room, trying to look as though he was just looking for something wrong with everyone's potions. Trying to seem like he wasn't concerned about anything. Luckily no one ever looked him in the eye if they didn't have to anyways. So no one could tell that he really was desperately concerned about the fact Hermione was gone.
Her and Ron were having a long bout then, if they were still fighting. Or perhaps they had already made up and were making out and Hermione not noticing she was missing potions. The thought about Ron gave him a headache. Always had. But now that he had this horrible mental image of him snogging Hermione, it was worse then ever.
She probably wanted to avoid Potions anyhow.
"Where is Ms. Granger?" He barked out to the class that were all quietly concentrating on the extremely advanced potion he gave them. A few glanced up, but most just continued trying to fix the potion from being horribly wrong. Stupid kids will they not pay attention to him? Oh, wait there was Malfoy...
"Her and Ron left breakfast early, looked as if Weasley was going to explode. Rumor is the mudblood cheated on him." Malfoy drawled out adding too much powdered lizard lungs to his potion. Snape choose to ignore this, instead wondering if Draco had made up this rumor himself.
"Or they are just fucking in an abandoned classroom on the third floor." Pansy Parkinson added looking at Malfoy, who gaged in turn. Snape wanted to do so also but settled for glaring at Pansy who looked very pleased at herself.
"Honestly they shouldn't reproduce." Malfoy muttered, though saying it loud enough for Pansy to let out a pathetically stupid giggle. How she even managed to get this far was beyond Snape. And the mix of her and Malfoy was enough to make anyone's blood boil.
And then he had to pretend to love them, damn their parents.
But not today. No he was worried about Hermione. Or rather worried about what she was doing. The fact he didn't want to consider the options of what she was doing was not keeping them from rolling across his mind. Especially after Malfoy winked at Pansy who let out another one her annoying giggly screeches.
"Silence." Severus sighed out, knowing he would have rather shouted it instilling fear in them. But he "liked" them and he was supposed to be agitated at Ms. Granger not them. "Malfoy, I'm leaving you in charge, While I go and find Ms. Granger. "
Malfoy beamed Saying 'good luck' evidently being sure Gryffindor was going to lose housepoints for this one. Severus fought the urge to roll his eyes and turned on his heel out the door. Hearing the door slam shut behind him he could almost imagine the chaos that had already started happening though he was but one step away from the door.
But he had bigger things to worry about. Things that as he thought of them made him almost want to slow his frantic steps down. Things like what he would walk in onto. Or what might have been this fight been about. Okay, so it was true Ron ad Hermione always had these stupid "disputes." And maybe it was nothing. But what if it was something more horrible.
He couldn't put anything past the old member's of the Hogwarts trio. Somehow they had all gone downhill and didn't know when to stop. Like how Ron had moved out and left his family. Not that Severus really cared. But he did care about that other one... Hermione.
Hermione didn't know when to stop either. Like when she kissed him. She didn't know when to stop doing anything she could do to hurt Harry. Because as it left a bitter scratch in Harry, it left one in him too. And he told himself that he should be angry about it. He should be enraged to the full limit an ex-death eater should be enraged to. But oddly enough he wasn't.
It's been more like a sick test. Like he had dealt with so many more important things then this silly girl, that it shouldn't bother him. At least that's what his head screamed at him.
So when Severus opened up the closed door to the abandoned class room n the 3rd floor corridor, he had to admit he was rather pleased they weren't making out or some thing along those lines. As much as it would have pleased him to take away points from Gryffindor it was still better this way. Even though it would have been better not to feel something to see Hermione in tears and Ron glaring angrily at her. And even though his better conscious intelligent left side of his brain was telling him not to indulge into his hidden passion for Hermione, he did so anyhow.
"Hermione," Let the name hang in the air. As stepping closer to her heart broken form. He looked at her eyes, though red and glazed over he wanted to see them more then anything. Lightly placing his fingertips on her cheekbone he saw her swimming brown eyes and leaned down to place a small kiss on her forehead. He then pulled back and stepped away, only wondering what Ron might say.
"This is complete and utter bull." Ron shouted from his position still next to the window. Fists balled up, and face as red as his hair. Cause you would be quite agitated too, and hour latter you have received not one answer at which the letter in question was about. And just as you thought you were breaking through some person who hated you walked in, and totally interrupted all you've been working at all morning.
Especially for Ron, he had been walking a fine line the last weeks. It got to be tiring, trying not to make Hermione cry. He understood it was all very hard for her, but he could only handle so much negativity. All the tears left really nothing for him. He felt as though there was nothing he could do to make her feel better. And that there was nothing she could do to make him happy anymore, because she couldn't even be happy with her own damn self.
Ron had not fucking idea that this relationship was going to be like this when he thought of Hermione before. No, she was always more loving and less longing. And then there was this letter, from Potter. And when she read it, he saw the first smile flicker on her lips that he seen in what seemed to be forever. No it was longer then that, it was last summer.
He still had the crumpled letter in his hands and looked at it. Then he looked at his professor and his girlfriend. What the hell, he thought, go with your instincts. And he hoped to god that his instincts were wrong. And he was no more physic then a tealeaf. But he was going to say it, since they were both staring expectantly at him now, waiting for him to say something.
"Hermione I won't allow you to fall in love with him." Ron shook the letter. Looking at her fallen face as his mouth gaped open at what he, himself, had just said. His heart pounding out of his chest in a vain refusal to his mind telling to keep his emotions down. "I mean, if you want to not be with me, I can live with that." Ron looked at her looking fixedly at the floor tile, him trying to breath, finally relaxing he needed to breath out and not in. "I can just not let you do that to yourself Hermione."
"I would not go as far to say love Mr. Weasley" Came Snape's cold voice, and for once Ron was happy to hear it because he didn't know how long he could go on talking for himself. "I don't know if she could..."
"No," Ron forced the voice out of his mouth to stop Snape. Something about his old professor was easier to talk to then Hermione anyways. A little easier, but not much. "She would have to love Potter to stick with him this long."
Hermione let out a cackle like laughter, because this was all so awkward. Because Ron had gotten it so wrong. She crossed over to him and gave it a hug. She could only imagine Severus behind her still trying to catch up. She felt Ron awkwardly pat her on the back from this hug. And she let go, to save him from his own embarrassment.
"No," Hermione said biting lip that was actually trying to curl up into a smile at Ron's accusations. She sniffed and wiped a tear from her eye. "I would never love Harry, Ron."
"You wouldn't? I mean, I just thought, your face was so..."Ron face flooded with a huge blush, as he inspected his shoes now. "What was the, ?"
And then the room fell into its utter silence again. And Ron almost wished he hadn't asked. Hermione felt the exact same way, because she as much as she wanted to say it had all her self-confidence depleted out of her. She gulped, and looked at her hands, mad urge to bit her fingernails suddenly occurring. But instead she found herself tracing the shirt in front of her that was such a dark navy that it was almost black. But it wasn't black. She listened to Severus breath a little more deeply with her touch.
"It told me to tell Severus I" She was staring so hard at that navy fabric But now his hands came down and intertwined with hers. She dared to look up into his eyes. And she saw there the most genuine smile, because though something of a smile played at his lips his eyes could not lie. And you could never trust Severus without that.
But then Hermione stopped, because as wonderful as this all seemed, there was Ron. And she looked at him. He had his hand buried in his pockets, and he gave a rather feeble excuse for a shrug. And of course Hermione felt so guilty.
"I'm sorry Ron;" She spoke softly, latching onto Severus's hands for support. And what was she supposed to say to Ron? Something horrible cliche, like 'Lets still be friends' or try to explain how and why, which really wouldn't make much since anyways. And she felt so damned horrible, she felt like the worst person ever.
"Its okay Hermione, things weren't the greatest anyways, and he's a slight improvement from Harry... I guess." Ron stumbled on, so many words falling out of his mouth, he wasn't keeping track of what he was saying. It didn't matter anyways. He was going to have to break up with her soon if she was always so miserable anyways. And this way she wasn't more miserable by the matter. Of course if it was the other way around maybe he wouldn't feel like his internal organs were all taken out and stomped on. But then again maybe he would have still felt this way.
"I hate to interrupt this teenage drama and all." Severus butted into the dead silence, that was in fact as much of the conversation Hermione and Ron were having as much as the words. "But I came down here in the first place to bring Ms. Granger to class, and I have spent a bit of time down here and I am absolutely petrified to see what shape my classroom is in by now, and so.."
Hermione nodded her head. He was still Snape, and there was something comforting about that. Or it was just the fact they could all have a reason to leave this room. Hermione let go of her professor's hands and walked up to Ron. She gave him a peck on the cheek.
"I hope this will all work out." She muttered, and blushed immediately at how much more cliché that was then 'lets still be friends' and turned approaching the door handle to turn it and be followed by Severus out the door where he took her hand again and they walked silently to the potions room.
And for once they both felt at least a bit contented, maybe with a twinge of hopefulness each.
...
Potions class ended, Hermione stood watching Draco Malfoy finally exit the room smirking at her. He was convincing that Gryffindor had just lost a ton of house points. But she couldn't help roll her eyes because Slytherin had lost more because of the right state the room was in when they arrived. And the fact that his potion was done absolutely horribly. Not that she was even allowed to attempt to do the potion herself.
She had managed to take such a long time doing the absolute nothing of putting her cauldron away that she was the last one left in the room except for Severus. She had just finished slowly putting her notes into her bag and closing it. Finished she looked up to see Severus looking at her transfixed. She smiled at the gaze, and he rewarded her with a smile returned.
"I really should punish you Ms. Granger." Her said in a tone that let her know that he was really considering it. He crossed across the room to go ending up looking down at her listening to the not yet familiar sound of his pounding heart because he was not yet all that familiar at being with her. Gazing down into her brown eyes he let a kiss fall between them. A sweet suffocating kiss because he was not sure he could breath anymore. Because he wanted her.
And he wasn't quite sure if breathing was that important anymore.