Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or any of its characters they belong to the Lovely and Talented J.K Rowling. I only own Jen Cedrone and some other characters my brilliant mind hasn't had time to come up with.

Chapter 1 Memories

I was sitting in a compartment on the Hogwarts Express looking out at the platform. Thinking back when I used to be like them, talking to friends, saying goodbye to your family, playing pranks. But those days are long now. I remember the day exactly, the day I got my letter. It changed my life, for better and for the worst. You see, it was my birthday, and I had just turned eleven. I looked away from the window, to the seat across from me and saw the faded image of a girl walking down the hall and I could just hear her whistling

MEMORY

" Happy Birthday to me hmmm hmm hmm Happy Birthday . . ." TAP . . . TAP . . .TAP . . . I looked around quickly, my red hair getting into my eyes. Nobody was there. I began to walk down the hall singing and whistling to myself. 'It's not every day you turn 11, it should be a momentous occasion. Everybody should celebrate- not because I am turning eleven, but because it's me,' I thought to myself. TAP . . . TAP . . . TAP . . . This time, I was standing next to a window and what I saw made me jump.

"What the heck," I said. There hovering outside the window was a barn owl and it was holding something. I hesitantly went over to the window. I wasn't sure if I should let it in or not. I mean would you just go over and let a strange animal- that is supposed to be nocturnal, I might add, and let it in? I opened the window slowly and the owl came in and dropped what it was carrying and left. I picked up the envelope, which was strangely enough addressed to my bedroom and opened it. I began to read it and I dropped it in surprise. I quickly picked it up and ran down the stairs yelling for my mother . . .

MEMORY END

Well you can guess what was in the letter and what happened next considering I WAS on the Hogwarts express. I have become quite used to owl post now. I turned to look out the window a second time, but I immediately wish I hadn't. What I saw brought back painful memories. I saw my friends or they used to be my friends. God I missed them.

Jennifer Cedrone. Jen moved here from the United States when she was 10. She liked to call herself a mutt. She did that because of her family's background. Her mother was ½ Italian, 1/4 French Canadian and a little Irish and Scottish on the side. Her father was Black Foot Native American, Irish, and Lithuanian. She looked more Italian than anything, with her curly black hair and her dark brown eyes that look black, she was very pretty. She was very athletic too; she played on the house qudditch team. She is a very good chaser, she and James work seamlessly when they're on the pitch. She was like a sister to me. I smiled ironically. WAS being the key word. She was my best girl friend. I didn't have many others.

Sirius Black. Sirius, he was . . . different to say the least. Crazy in the head some people might think, but to me he was the funniest person in the world. If Jen was like a sister to me, then Sirius was like a brother, the same goes for the rest of the Marauders, as they liked to call themselves. Sirius was a flirt, but not a heartbreaker. He would flirt but unusually enough never go out with girls. I asked him one time why he would ignore all these girls, who were practically throwing themselves at his feet. He replied, 'You know Lils just because they're there doesn't mean I have to do something about it. The right girl is out there and I am just waiting for her to come find me. . .I am to lazy to do it on my own.' He would give me a wink and grin and stroll away from me. That's the first time, in my history with him, that he was serious. Other girls liked to say he was tall, dark, and handsome. Me, well I liked to say abnormally tall and funny looking. Sirius was unbelievably mischievous. I bet if you gave him a piece of parchment and some spell-o-tape he would find some way to prank somebody. 'Where there's a will there's a way' he always said.

Then there was Remus Lupin. The quiet studious one as many people dubbed him. But to the people who knew him he was the exact opposite. He was just as mischievous as Sirius was. But instead of being the one to pull off the pranks, he made sure they did what he was supposed to. 'The brains behind the operation', he liked to say. With his sandy blonde hair and hazel eyes lots of girls fell for him. But unfortunately for some and fortunately for one he's taken, by Jen. They seem like total opposite and it was funny when they first started seeing each other -way back in 4th year. She's about the only girl I can think of that wouldn't have a problem with his condition. Remus was a werewolf. I was the first to find out. I always helped him out, by making excuses to say to people and helping him catch up on the work that he missed. It was a relief, when all our other friends found out and we didn't have to hide it anymore, at least to them. I don't think he blames me as much for what I did as the others did. I think he understands, in a way our situations are kind of similar, if you think about it. He almost did the same thing I'm doing. He was trying to protect us, like I am trying to protect them.

Then there was Peter Petigrew. Peter was so sweet sometimes. He was short, although he was taller than I was. Peter had curly hair and blue eyes and a chubby little face that made you think he was your little brother. Peter was loyal and smart. Although he wasn't as smart as the other four, still he wasn't the dumbest person alive either. He was average. Peter was like the little brother I never had and the sibling I wanted, instead of the one I didn't want.

Last but certainly not least, there was James Potter. James was the unofficial leader of the Marauders. He and Sirius could have been twins if it hadn't been for James unruly black hair and glasses. James, I think, took it the hardest. We were best friends. Granted Sirius was another of James best friends, but we had a different type of relationship. We've known each other since we were three. When we first got to Hogwarts, which was as much of a surprise to James as it was to me that I was even there, I think we broke all the rules the first week of school. Of course Sirius helped too, we couldn't leave him out. James made me laugh when nobody else could. We knew everything about each other from our favorite color up to our deepest, darkest secret.

I surprised myself when I never went to James when my family died. Yes, my family died. ALL of them. I don't have a mother or father. I also don't have any aunts, uncles, cousins or grandparents. All of them dead. Except for one lousy good for nothing sister that hated me because I was . . . well me.

At the end of fourth year my family decided to have a reunion. It started the day before I got out of school. Since I was coming the next day they decided to start early and then somebody would come and pick me up . . . I think you can guess nobody did. Amazingly enough Petunia, my lousy sister, survived. Unfortunately or fortunately whichever way you look at it.

Afraid of getting hurt again I pushed all my friends away. They wouldn't let me push them away, so I did the next best thing I could do . . . I avoided them. I didn't eat in the Great Hall, I ate in the Kitchens, I spent all my free time in the Library, and I was always to busy for them to talk to me during class.

I guess a part of me secretly wished that they wouldn't give up trying to seek me out, but eventually they did. They gave up thinking I hated them, a reason they couldn't figure it out. I wish they could know that I did it with the of best intentions. Knowing that they would be killed because they associated with me. I still haven't figured out why almost everybody I had known and loved was killed. The only explanation I can come up with is for some unknown reason it was my fault. Maybe because I am a witch or just out of revenge for some reason.

Jen once said that 'death was the next great adventure'. Well if it is a 'great adventure' I was left in the dust with nobody to catch me when I fell.

As the train started up, I thought back to the time when I told them that I would do everything I possibly could for them and I still would even though all this has happened.

End Chapter 1 Memories

A/N I hope you guys like this because I think she's rambling on parts.

My heartfelt thanks to:

Lizmaurder4eva

Senna

citrus scented my very first review about 5min after I put it up I was ecstatic, even though it was only the prologue.

You guys gave me the courage to continue thank you.

Well enough mushy junk that's just not me. Review if you want and give me suggestions.

Review or not to review that is the question?

I am already done chapter 2, 3 and done half of 4 so when I can get off my lazy but and type this stuff it'll be up so look for a update this weekend 4/12-4/14

Revised June 5 2004