Talk About Books

Chapter 3 – There 'cause we're friends

Disclaimer: I don't own GG, nor do I own any books, movies, colleges, etc.

A/N:  Sorry this has taken SO long! I've written up to chapter…6 on this story, so more should be up soon—I have tons of typing to do! But all my fics should be updated soon! Hope you like this! FYI, I know Jess is getting a little OOC. But this is how I think he really is…they ruined his character in S3! Okay, that's another story. Lol. Thanks to everyone at S-H.org who gave me ideas for this story, and thanks for all the great reviews!! Hope you like this.    ~Arianna

I went to bed that night, still upset about the fight I'd had with Jess, not to mention confused about why he'd suddenly yelled at me. I didn't get it; it didn't make sense at all. I thought we'd been getting to really be friends… And of course, I wouldn't be able to tell Dean why I was upset.

Mom woke me up the next morning, saying—yelling—"Luke's! Luke's! Coffee coffee coffee!"

"Mom?" I said sleepily.

"Get up, Rory!"

"I'm getting up," I replied, lying back down.

"Rory!"

"I'm getting up, I'm getting up." This time I actually did. "Hey Mom, wanna try something new today?"

"Something new?"

"Like Al's for breakfast. Maybe today he'll actually have pancakes…"

"Rory?" Mom said, looking worried. "Remember? Luke's? Al's coffee is horrible. Terrible. Awful. I may suffer from shock if we go to Al's for breakfast!"

"Maybe it'll be better," I said lamely. I didn't want to see Jess yet. I wasn't sure if I'd yell at him. If I'd say something I would regret. And if Dean were there, that would make it twice as bad.

But why was I so upset over this? Why did I suddenly feel like I had to hide everything from Dean? I sighed. I hated this.

"Rory?" Mom asked, now genuinely concerned. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, fine." I gave up.

"Sure?" I nodded. "We don't have to go to Luke's. I can—"

"It's okay!" I interrupted. "I'll go, let's go." I had made up my mind. I dressed in jeans and a blue shirt and got my denim jacket. "Ready."

"Okay then…" We walked over to the diner. I kept my head down, staring at the floor, wondering in the back of my mind if Jess was there now.

He was. Why wouldn't he be? He probably thought the same thing I did, right? That I had Dean…and since I had Dean—so Jess and I had a fight, big deal. But I couldn't help feeling like it was a big deal.

And now I was in the diner, and Jess was in the diner. I really hoped Dean's mom had made breakfast this morning. Because he'd notice the tension, and then he'd think…

Mom and I sat down, me carefully avoiding everyone's eyes, especially Jess' and Luke's.

"Hey, Rory," Mom said again, "are you really okay?"

"What? Oh, yeah, I am." She looked at me strangely for a moment; went back to deciding between eggs and waffles. I decided on pancakes.

The door opened, and I instinctively turned around to see who it was.

It was Dean. Everything bad always happens at once! But I wasn't supposed to be thinking that! Dean was my boyfriend; he loved me and I loved him. So I was supposed to be glad to see him… But that's not it, I reasoned. I just don't wanna hurt our relationship. The other side of my mind whispered, It's because you had a fight with another guy… I wanted to tell my mind to shut up.

Dean walked over. "Hey, Rory."

"Hey," I said, smiling weakly. He leaned over and kissed me.

"Can I sit down?"

"Oh. Oh yeah. Sure." He took the other chair next to me. I kept my head down, trying to be unobtrusive.

"Oh, I still have to read that assignment," Dean remembered, half to himself.

"What is it?" I asked, interested.

"It's part of Democracy in America, by…by Detaq—I don't remember," he admitted.

"DeToqueville," I supplied. My eyes stung, but I couldn't quite explain why. I glanced up suddenly and saw that Jess, who had been staring fixedly at the counter since I'd gotten there, was now looking up—his gaze focused somewhere around Dean and me.

I froze, uncomfortable.

"Rory?" Dean said.

"Oh, sorry," I said quickly, with my best fake smile.

"Right…" He knew something was going on.

"Really," I told him. "I've just got a lot of work and everything…"

"Okay. You wanna order?"

I pretended to grin. "Yeah." I looked up cautiously; then went to the opposite side of the counter from Jess. "Hey, Luke?"

He looked up from what he was writing. "Pancakes and coffee?"

"You got it," I answered.

"Just coffee for me," Dean said.

"Coming right up." Luke handed them to us.

We went back to sit down. As I did, I stole a quick glance at Jess. He was leaning against the counter, a book open in front of him. I couldn't quite see the title. Forget it, I told myself. Hadn't he told me to go back to Dean? But…why had he said that? It just—it just hadn't sounded like Jess.

"Any new movies out?" I asked casually.

"I don't think so. I mean, not any I'd want to see."

"Me neither," I agreed. "So are we doing anything today?" I didn't really feel like it, but I guessed I wouldn't mind.

"Well, I have to work today," Dean said apologetically. "If I don't, Taylor says he'll suspend my paycheck for a month—"

"It's okay. I can…work."

"Have fun," he said, smiling. He kissed me goodbye and left. I finished my pancakes, glanced quickly again at Jess, who was still reading, and then I left too. My mom had left to check something at the Inn during my conversation with Dean.

I didn't actually have anything to do, so, yet again, I wandered over to the bookstore. I had been looking around for a few minutes when Jess came in.

He walked over to the section I was at, and something snapped.

"Where are you gonna tell me to go now?" I said angrily. "Or is it just gonna be 'go away'? Or is there something different this time?"

He winced. "It isn't."

"Isn't what?" I demanded.

"Any of those."

"Really."

"Uh…listen…"

"What?" I said, softer this time.

"I'm…" He turned away, glancing over the shelves. I didn't say anything, knowing this was hard for him. "I'm sorry," he said at last. "What I said—I didn't mean it.  I was just…thinking about something else, and I…I guess I took it out on you…"

"Hey, it's okay."

"Rory—"

"Listen, let's forget it. I'm not mad."

"Huh."

I smiled. "Not anymore."

"Okay, good." He still looked kind of sad.

"Hey, Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"Look, I know…you might not wanna talk about it…but you're my friend, and…I care about you. And if you need me, I'm here."

"Okay," Jess said softly. "Um…thanks." I smiled slightly, and then I suddenly reached out and hugged him. He was pretty surprised, but he kinda hugged me back for a second.

And then, over his shoulder, out the window, I saw Dean, looking horrified. He stalked away. I was so shocked for a second, I didn't move. Then I pulled away from Jess and started running after Dean. He ignored me. After a few blocks, I stopped, defeated, crying.

"Rory?" someone said. I turned to face Jess. "You okay?"

"Do I look okay?"

"What…what happened?"

I couldn't talk normally; I was crying too hard. "I saw Dean and he's mad and I ran but it didn't work and I don't know…"

"Oh—I'm sorry," he said, his hands in his pockets, looking away.

"It's not your fault," I said, wiping my eyes. "It's mine. He's never gonna…"

"You wanna…" He shook his head, unsure of what to say. I suddenly found myself hugging Jess again. He put his arms around me, trying to comfort me. "Hey…it'll…you guys will get back together," he said awkwardly.

"How do you know?"

"I…I just know. Wanna go to Luke's?"

"No," I said, letting go of Jess. "Everyone will know I cried, and I don't want to answer their stupid questions."

"That I understand." Jess grinned.

"Yeah…"

"Uh…you okay?"

"Better. Sort of. Thanks."

"Okay."

"You want to go back to the bookstore?" he asked nervously.

"Sure." We started walking, together. As we headed to the bookstore, we passed Luke's. I hurried past, so no one in the diner would see me. "Hey, Jess?" I said, when he'd caught up. "Could you…maybe…"

"Get you some coffee?" He went in.

"Thanks," I said as he handed it to me. We continued. "Um, Jess?"

"Yeah?"

"You won't…you know…tell anyone what happened, will you?  I really don't want anyone else to know."

"I won't."

"Thanks." I looked up at him. "I really appreciate it."

"Appreciate what?"

"You being there. Letting me cry, not telling anyone. Getting me coffee."

Jess shrugged, looking uncomfortable. "I owe you…"

"You're doing this just because you owe me?"

"No…"

"Go on, I won't tell anyone," I promised. Seeing his skeptical glance, I added, "Really, no one."

"Well—you said you'd be there. And you're…you're my friend. And I thought you needed that."

"I did." This was the Jess that nobody else knew. And I really liked him. It kind of scared me.

We got to the bookstore and went inside. Jess looked at me for a second, saying again, "You okay?"

I wasn't sure. "Not really. Sort of. I just…don't know what to do."

"Me neither," he said in a low voice.

"Don't worry about it," I said firmly.

"Do—do you really love him?"

"What?"

"Just wondering," Jess said quickly, and went back to looking for books.

"Right now," I said honestly, "I don't really know." Neither of us knew what to say after that. We kept searching for books, more together than separately, in a comfortable silence.

It was nice there. Me. Books. And Jess. And for some reason, I didn't feel so awful. Just unsure. And confused, a little. And safe, somehow.