Reporter: Hello welcome to Channel 99 News..I'm your host Bitch
Address..Today Yoda the little green dude from Star Wars has killed 2
people.more on that at 11....
Yoda: The little short green dude you say.Hmm...Bitch must die! No one makes jokes on Yoda! *Walks over to computer* Where does she live?
Computer: Hello, welcome Master Yoda how may I help you?
Yoda: Find address of bitch lady from television I must.
..The computer prints out a copy of the reporters address and as Yoda gets ready to leave there is knock on the door....
Yoda: Come in you may..
C3PO: Yo what's up dawg? Ya heard dis new shit on da radio? *blasts music so Yoda flies back a few feet into a cabinet while c3po sings* I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE ALL YOU OTHER BROTHER'S CAN'T DENY..
Yoda: *stuck on the rack from the cabinet door* HELP YOU MUST! Heights am I afraid of..YOU STUPID ROBOT! MOVE YOUR ASS AND GET ME OFF THIS SHIT!
Han Solo: Yo Yoda my man main what's up?
Yoda: I'm up you babbling idiot now get me down!
Han Solo: Sorry bro bad back I shouldn't be moving shit..
Yoda: what do you mean I weight like 10 pounds!
Han Solo: Sorry maybe the force can get you down..
Leia: I got it..*removes Yoda off the rack and places him on the floor.
Yoda: Much thanks I give, but excuse me you must.*Turns towards C3PO*..Picks him up...DIE U STUPID ASSHOLE!.*throws him out his window*..
Leia: Well that's one way to get rid of help
Yoda: PISSED ME OFF HE DID!
Luke: Hey Yoda how are you anger management and therapy classes going?
Yoda: Piss me off they do, All they ask is how feel you. I pay money to be robbed! Those jerks, that is what they are!
Luke: So they haven't helped?
Yoda: Of course they did not! Hit on me the Therapist does! Tells me small and cute am I.
Leia: Why don't you be nice to them maybe the classes will get better.
Yoda: Rather be in jail than with them! JERKS ARE THEY! Tried to rob me of my light saber did they!
Leia: What did you do?
Yoda: Killed them did I...Dead they are and shall remain!
Han Solo: Well Sorry to ruin dis but I gotta bounce peace out!
Yoda: Much problems does he have..sigh...
Luke: Well, I me and Leia have to get back and from the looks of things we're taking you with us..
Yoda: Touch me and die...
Leia: *Pokes Yoda* Poke!
Yoda: Warn you I am.Don't mess with Yoda I advice you..
Luke: Well Leia looks like we have no other choice, we're going to have to drag him...
Yoda: Don't even think about it..
Leia and Luke grab the kicking and screaming Yoda as they reach their car..
Yoda: I'm going to kill you I will! *stares at white Mercedes* ..Would have been better in red..
Luke: You would have been better with a mussel!
Leia: Open the door
Luke: Right *Opens door and shoves Yoda into a baby car seat*..
Yoda: ASSKICKING YOU TWO SHALL RECEIVE! RELEASE ME AT ONCE!
..As the car starts Yoda sits in the back and stares out the window...
"Stupid am I.the force will help me!"
....click...the seat belt unlocks and Yoda dives into the front seat a Luke *who is driving*
Luke: Yoda.I...I..I can't see...your little body is blocking my view..
Yoda: DIE YOU MUST DIE!!!
...Leia reaches for Yoda but the car swerves and Leia is knocked unconscious. Yoda then bites Luke as he draws blood Luke lets go of the wheel. Yoda then opens the door and sends Luke tumbling down the street. Leia still unconscious is the next to be thrown out of the car. Yoda reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out sunglasses puts them on and places two books underneath him to see over the wheel..
Yoda: Badass I am! Hehehe...*Honks horn at defenseless old lady crossing the street*..MOVE! nyhahahahahahaaha!!
...Suddenly Yoda is rammed by a black SUV. As Yoda turns he realizes a wasted Vader is on his tail..
Yoda: Damn.Knew I shouldn't have let him drink and drive..sigh..
..Suddenly Vader rams his car as Yoda goes flying through the front windshield onto a nearby-parked car. As Yoda lifts his head he sees Vader's car skidding into the parked one. As the car slams into it, it lets off a fiery explosion that sends Yoda hurtling in the air...
Yoda: AHHHHHHHH!! Heights I like not!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
....Yoda flies into a giant stadium surrounded by thousands of screaming people....
Yoda: HELL I AM IN! AHHH!!
...As Yoda sees the wall coming New York Yankees player Bernie Williams catches him in mid air. Bernie stares at the messed up looking Yoda and decides it is a doll..
Bernie: Yo! There's a stupid little puppet on the field what should I do with it?
Jeter: Throw it out.
Yoda: what..
...caplank..Yoda is dropped into the waist basket and the Yankees players return to the game...
Yoda: Smell bad do I..yuck..how am I suppose to get out of her..Hmm...Must be revenge for killing people..sigh..
Yoda: The little short green dude you say.Hmm...Bitch must die! No one makes jokes on Yoda! *Walks over to computer* Where does she live?
Computer: Hello, welcome Master Yoda how may I help you?
Yoda: Find address of bitch lady from television I must.
..The computer prints out a copy of the reporters address and as Yoda gets ready to leave there is knock on the door....
Yoda: Come in you may..
C3PO: Yo what's up dawg? Ya heard dis new shit on da radio? *blasts music so Yoda flies back a few feet into a cabinet while c3po sings* I LIKE BIG BUTTS AND I CANNOT LIE ALL YOU OTHER BROTHER'S CAN'T DENY..
Yoda: *stuck on the rack from the cabinet door* HELP YOU MUST! Heights am I afraid of..YOU STUPID ROBOT! MOVE YOUR ASS AND GET ME OFF THIS SHIT!
Han Solo: Yo Yoda my man main what's up?
Yoda: I'm up you babbling idiot now get me down!
Han Solo: Sorry bro bad back I shouldn't be moving shit..
Yoda: what do you mean I weight like 10 pounds!
Han Solo: Sorry maybe the force can get you down..
Leia: I got it..*removes Yoda off the rack and places him on the floor.
Yoda: Much thanks I give, but excuse me you must.*Turns towards C3PO*..Picks him up...DIE U STUPID ASSHOLE!.*throws him out his window*..
Leia: Well that's one way to get rid of help
Yoda: PISSED ME OFF HE DID!
Luke: Hey Yoda how are you anger management and therapy classes going?
Yoda: Piss me off they do, All they ask is how feel you. I pay money to be robbed! Those jerks, that is what they are!
Luke: So they haven't helped?
Yoda: Of course they did not! Hit on me the Therapist does! Tells me small and cute am I.
Leia: Why don't you be nice to them maybe the classes will get better.
Yoda: Rather be in jail than with them! JERKS ARE THEY! Tried to rob me of my light saber did they!
Leia: What did you do?
Yoda: Killed them did I...Dead they are and shall remain!
Han Solo: Well Sorry to ruin dis but I gotta bounce peace out!
Yoda: Much problems does he have..sigh...
Luke: Well, I me and Leia have to get back and from the looks of things we're taking you with us..
Yoda: Touch me and die...
Leia: *Pokes Yoda* Poke!
Yoda: Warn you I am.Don't mess with Yoda I advice you..
Luke: Well Leia looks like we have no other choice, we're going to have to drag him...
Yoda: Don't even think about it..
Leia and Luke grab the kicking and screaming Yoda as they reach their car..
Yoda: I'm going to kill you I will! *stares at white Mercedes* ..Would have been better in red..
Luke: You would have been better with a mussel!
Leia: Open the door
Luke: Right *Opens door and shoves Yoda into a baby car seat*..
Yoda: ASSKICKING YOU TWO SHALL RECEIVE! RELEASE ME AT ONCE!
..As the car starts Yoda sits in the back and stares out the window...
"Stupid am I.the force will help me!"
....click...the seat belt unlocks and Yoda dives into the front seat a Luke *who is driving*
Luke: Yoda.I...I..I can't see...your little body is blocking my view..
Yoda: DIE YOU MUST DIE!!!
...Leia reaches for Yoda but the car swerves and Leia is knocked unconscious. Yoda then bites Luke as he draws blood Luke lets go of the wheel. Yoda then opens the door and sends Luke tumbling down the street. Leia still unconscious is the next to be thrown out of the car. Yoda reaches into the glove compartment and pulls out sunglasses puts them on and places two books underneath him to see over the wheel..
Yoda: Badass I am! Hehehe...*Honks horn at defenseless old lady crossing the street*..MOVE! nyhahahahahahaaha!!
...Suddenly Yoda is rammed by a black SUV. As Yoda turns he realizes a wasted Vader is on his tail..
Yoda: Damn.Knew I shouldn't have let him drink and drive..sigh..
..Suddenly Vader rams his car as Yoda goes flying through the front windshield onto a nearby-parked car. As Yoda lifts his head he sees Vader's car skidding into the parked one. As the car slams into it, it lets off a fiery explosion that sends Yoda hurtling in the air...
Yoda: AHHHHHHHH!! Heights I like not!!! AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
....Yoda flies into a giant stadium surrounded by thousands of screaming people....
Yoda: HELL I AM IN! AHHH!!
...As Yoda sees the wall coming New York Yankees player Bernie Williams catches him in mid air. Bernie stares at the messed up looking Yoda and decides it is a doll..
Bernie: Yo! There's a stupid little puppet on the field what should I do with it?
Jeter: Throw it out.
Yoda: what..
...caplank..Yoda is dropped into the waist basket and the Yankees players return to the game...
Yoda: Smell bad do I..yuck..how am I suppose to get out of her..Hmm...Must be revenge for killing people..sigh..