Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or its characters. They belong to J.K Rowling and various publishers. I also don't own Sound of the Bugle it belongs to Bryan Adams . . . I think.

Chapter 4 New Beginnings to Everything part three

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Sound the bugle now- play it just for me

As the season change-remember how I used to be

Now I can't go on-I can't even start

I've got nothing left-just an empty heart

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Lily ran down the hallway, breathing hard, her heart pounding fast. She didn't know where she was going, tears clouded her vision. She stopped and found herself standing in front the great oak doors. Not to be deterred she pushed open one of the heavy doors and ran out leaving it slightly ajar. She ran out into the pouring rain not once looking back.

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"Why do you care?" Sirius said angry standing up. "She had the nerve to come to us . . . us and ask how you were. I told her to shove off. While she was all cozy here, you were out getting hurt. She was here all safe being a bitch to the world giving us the cold shoulder for the past three years . . . three . . . three years." He stopped held out three fingers. Anger etched in every line in his face. Sirius was about to begin again when James interrupted him.

"Sirius you better stop right now if you know what's good for you." His tone was quite but it was a quiet fury. "Don't give me that crap about not caring about us. She does. The fact that we gave up on her proves we didn't care about her has much as she did us. She gave up everything she ever loved, to protect us, Sirius . . . us." James looked at Sirius for a moment, then looked at Remus. "Remus tried to do the same thing in first year when we found out about his lycanthropy but we didn't let him. Lily didn't give up on us first. We gave up on her. I just realized that today." He looked then Jen and asked, "Where is she?"

She tired wiping away the tears but it was of no use. "I-I don't k-know she just ran d-d-down the hall way. She looked like she was limping a-a-a little." She looked away from James she couldn't stand to see the look in his eyes.

He looked back at Sirius again and said, "I would too if I got slammed into a tree and then dropped from ninety-feet in the air." He got up and ran out of the infirmary.

Realizing what that comment meant he collapsed back into his chair and put his head in his hand's tears leaking through.

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James ran down the hall passing Madame Promfrey and Professor Dumbledore. Madame Promfrey was about to run after him when Professor Dumbledore put a hand on her shoulder. "Leave him be Poppy he just found some disturbing news. But I dare say in a couple months, everything will be back the way it was a couple of years ago," he said with a twinkle in his eye and a small on his lips. She was about to protest but thought better of it.

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He ran up all six floors to the Gryffindor Common room nonstop. When he got to the portrait of the Fat Lady, he almost forgot the password with all that was on his mind "Fidelis," he said quietly. When the portrait opened he ran passed crying and confused students up to his dormitory. He quickly put on some muggle clothes, grabbed a cloak, a piece of old parchment and ran out.

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I'm a solider-wounded so I must give up the fight.

There's nothing more for me- lead me away...

Or leave me lying here

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Lily ran as hard and as fast as she could into the Forbidden Forest. Trees flew by, branches whipped at her face and hands. The forest was so dense that the raindrops hardly got past the tops of the trees. Lily ran until the pain from her ankle and other injuries penetrated her foggy mind. She collapsed onto the ground right beside a bush. She hugged her knees and laid her head on them and continued to cry, rocking back and fourth. She didn't know how long she was sitting there for staring at the bush in front of her, all she knew was it felt like eternity to her. She didn't care that she was hurt and wet or that it was cold out. She just kept staring into space not realizing that right now that somebody truly did care for her and that particular person was searching frantically for her and if she knew that she might have cared but she didn't. She just sat there wishing she didn't exist.

There was a rustle coming from behind her and she was about to take her wand out when she remembered she didn't have it. She just shrugged and thought, 'It doesn't matter nobody will miss me.' She turned around and she saw James there panting. Everything was getting too much for and she burst out crying again. James threw himself down next to Lily and hugged her tight. "Shh it's all right Lily. I am here. Nothing is ever going to hurt you again okay? I won't let you down again."

"Where going to be friends forever right James," said the 6-year-old voice of Lily Evans

"The best," he replied with a grin.

"Promise?" She asked looking at him hope in her eyes her smile getting bigger.

"Promise!"

"James," called Lily getting off the Hogwarts express for their first year. "Wait up."

He stopped and turned to her with a big smile. "What you think I would leave you?"

She just smiled. "James' I just want you to promise no matter what happens here we will always be there for each other and that we won't give up each other."

He looked at her for a second. "Why would you think other wise?"

"James please just promise because you never know what's going to happen here. I mean everything is changing and I just need somebody to be my rock. Something that is going to stay solid even when everything else is not." She had tears in her eyes.

"Promise. I will always be there no matter what," he said swinging his arm over her shoulder. "To the boats," he cried and dragged a giggling Lily with him.

"I am sorry I broke the promises I made to you Lily." He was crying now too. The sound of the rain hitting the treetops seemed to have a calming effect on them.

Lily pulled back and stared at James. "Its just too much James. Too much. I can't take it anymore. Every night I see them in my dreams and I think of them every second of the day and I don't have anybody to talk to except the damn walls and if I get to close to anybody they are going to get hurt.. and I just can't take it," she sobbed into his shirt.

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Sound the bugle now - tell them I don't care

There's nothing I know - that leads anywhere

Without a light I fear I will - stumble in the dark

Lay right down - decide not to go on

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James was confused. He didn't know whom she was talking about. "Who are you talking about Lily?"

She looked up at him with tearful eyes. "My family. Every single one of them."

" I don't get what you mean. Are they okay?" Terror gripped James, he knew her family very well and the thought of one them getting hurt was just too much to bare.

"They're dead James..Every single one of them. All of them dead . . . except Petunia. But she just as well should be for all the times I actually see her. Do you know I saw them die James, that's I heard his laugh when he killed them? I wasn't even there James but I still saw and do you want to know how I saw it?" She asked her voice a little muffled. Her head was buried in his shoulder racking sobs tore through her body.

"How?" James had a gut feeling he didn't want to know how.

" Through a v-v-video camera that's h-how. It was on a pick-picnic table an-and somebody forgot to turn it off when they went to go ge-get food." She started to cry harder until she almost couldn't breathe. James just sat there rubbing her back horrified at what she was saying. " Then they appeared out of nowhere and started shooting unforgivable curses and peo-p-people where screaming and running. And oh gods they killed little Sam. You know Sam was only three and his birthday was the next day. He was always ex-excited on his birthday. They killed him. He didn't do anything..he was only three. He was so helpless sitting on the ground crying and they k-k-kk-I-killed him. I saw all this because somebody forgot to turn the damn camera off. Then I found the camera when the Aurors gave me their stuff. And because I am so curious I just had to see what was on that. Oh gods I see I that every night when I go to sleep and I see it every morning when I wake up." Lily was starting to calm down now that she was telling James something she hasn't told anybody. "I just want this nightmare to end. When is it going to end James I just give up. I just give up." She whispered the last part. "It was all my fault and today just proves that. I should have been there that day you know it was a family reunion and I should have been there. I can't do this anymore. How can I go on when I have nothing to live for? I have got nothing left." She was talking quietly to herself.

"Lily," he said taking away his hand from her back. He grabbed her chin and made him look at her. She was startled she was lost in her own thoughts and forgot James was there. "None absolutely none of this was your fault. Okay? None! Just remember who you have left. You have me okay I will never leave you again. Just remember who you are. You are Lillian Evans my best friend." He said softly. He took his hand away and saw he left a red mark there and was about to say sorry when he noticed that there was red stuff all over his hand too. He looked at his other hand and noticed it was there to. He got up and pulled Lily with him and turned her around and saw blood was covering her back. "Lily," he almost shouted then in a softer, "Why didn't you go to the infirmary and get your self checked out?"

She turned around favoring her bad ankle and shrugged. "It didn't seem important at the time," she said almost grinning.

"Come on lets go back. I don't know what I am going to do with you. Forgetting your wand, getting thrown against a tree, running away with a possibly broken foot. I don't know why I put up with you." He picked her up despite her protest saying that she can 'walk'.

"Well now your stuck with me," she said giving her first genuine smile in a long time. After talking with James she felt like a weight has been lifted from her shoulder. She felt that everything was going to be okay from now on just as long as she had James's shoulder to cry on.

"I wouldn't have it any other way Lily..I wouldn't have it any other way."

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There from on high - somewhere in the distance

There's a voice that calls - remember who you are

If you lose yourself - your courage will soon follow

So be strong tonight - remember who you are

Ya you're a solider now - fighting in a battle

To be free once more . . .

Ya that's worth fighting for

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~*~*End Chapter 4 part 3 New Beginnings to Everything*~*~

A/N I am so glad that chapter is over with I have written and re-written this chapter and its still not good enough I was going to make it longer but I its late and I am tired and I do have school tomorrow unfortunately I have school tomorrow. This year I am applying to colleges and studying for the SAT's so I don't know when I am going to be able to write again. But never fear I will continue this story even if it takes forever. Suggestions would be greatly appreciated to help me move along with the story. I had major writers block with this chapter that's why it took so long to update and I am really sorry about that I hate it when I do what I did but you can't rush a creative genius like me lol I wish. But hoped you like it.

~* Chapter 5 (finally) *~

~*Dumbledore informs Lily about her past history.

~* The group starts to make amends

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