DISCLAIMER: Tolkien? Not mine. Legolas? Not mine (much to my dismay). Ete and Merut? Yeah, they're mine. Super Archer Boy? Nope, unfortunately. I don't know his name, so he ends up being referred to as SAB.

The group ran to the bridge and jumped over the hole and was swiftly followed by the Balrog.

"Wait!" Merut said, veering away from the path.

"Merut, what in Mordor's name are you doing!" Ete screamed after her comrade.

"Getting what I hope to be there! Go ahead! And tie a rope around Gandalf!"

"But we'd be messing with the script!"

"We don't have time for this!" Legolas said, grabbing Ete by the arm and pulling her off. Merut joined the crew, followed by a cloaked figure.

"Who the hell's that?" Ete inquired, falling back to Merut.

"Later, E.T." Merut said, a large grin on her head. "Didja tie him up?"

"Eww," Ete said.

"Not like that!" Merut cringed.

"Either way, no." Ete said, still running. "That messes with the will of Tolkien. You know what authors do."

"Yeah." Merut said, thinking. "But he'll fall into shadow and we won't see him for days. Little Froooooooooodooooooooooo will be most displeased."

"Well, we don't have time to think of 'Froooooooooodooooooooooo' now." She tossed Merut into cover as the Balrog came.

"YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" They heard Gandalf say. Ete couldn't handle it.

"I'm leaving now." She said. It was fine to deal with on the silver screen, but in real life, it was unbearable.

Before long, the fellowship emerged, all sad and worried. Legolas looked utterly bewildered and Ete gave him a hug. Boromir held Gimli back from trying to get vengeance for Gandalf and all the hobbits sat and cried. Ete and Merut were on the brink of tears themselves and sighed.

"Well, we have to go." Ete said, sighing.

"By nightfall, these hills will be swarming with orcs." Aragorn said and the group set out to Lothlórien.

"Whozzat?" Ete asked Merut, pointing to the black hooded figure.

Merut suddenly sparked up as she pulled the figure up to everyone.

"My predictions were right!" Merut said. Ete was lost.

"What?"

"SUPER ARCHER BOY LIVES IN MORIA!" Merut squealed, de-hooding the figure to reveal Super Archer Boy, the 16-year-old archery prodigy of the East.

"Hey." SAB said, waving a hand.

"He what!" Ete said most alarmed.

"We're in loove." Merut said, sighing and attaching herself to SAB's shoulder.

"You're WHAT!" Ete said, now really alarmed. "You've known each other for one hour!"

"But it's true love!" Merut said.

"I feel sorry for ya, bud." Ete said, patting SAB's shoulder and walking ahead.

During the walk, you could most often see Merut clinging to SAB and the hobbits wondering what the trip would have been like if Ete and Merut weren't there.

"Gimli, don't breathe." Ete said, snickering.

"I would stop it if I could." Gimli said, making the hobbits stay close to him. "They say there's an elf witch here. But they won't fool me..." Gimli went off into his rant about elves and how he's so stealthy.

"Hey, Haldir." Ete said in elvish as the arrows were pointed at her. "We throw ourselves upon your mercy." Ete leaned against a tree.

"I don't believe I've met you before..." Haldir said. He thought for a moment. "And you stepped on my lines!"

"That was my favorite line in the movie." Merut said, sighing.

Before they knew it, they were being ushered through the forest. Lothlórien was really a nice sight to hold. The iridescent lights were beautiful and the trees stretched up to the sky for ages.

"Well bless the devil and damn the gods." Merut said, clinging to SAB, looking up at the trees.

"That's my line!" Ete said.

"That's my line!" Said Joly, the hypochondriac member of Les Amis.

Obsidie: takes Joly and pushes him out of Lothlórien Whoops!

They met Galadriel. Not too exciting. Up close she has a couple black heads. Not really all she's cracked up to be. Ete's favorite part about their stay in Lothlórien was the music and the lament for Gandalf, which was very pretty. Merut liked snuggling with SAB.

"Merut, we're going to have to leave him here." Ete said, making an executive decision.

"But why?" Merut said, whining.

"Oh heavens, you're turning into me!" Ete said, ready to beat her brains in with the closest thing handy: Leggie's bow! She reached for it and it was halfway to her head when it was grabbed by our dear elf and she found herself being dragged along with the bow to a pavilion. "When did I become a bowstring?"

Merut didn't notice and continued her elven snuggling.

"Ete, may I talk with you?" Legolas asked, sitting her down on a root.

"You could have asked before you dragged me over here!" Ete said, dusting off her skirt. "You want to talk about Merut again? Dude, she's got her Super Archer Boy."

"Nah. I wanted to talk to you." Legolas said, sitting on some of the blankets.

"Ah, why not?" Ete said, slouching over and placing her elbows on her knees.

"What did Galadriel say to you?" Legolas asked.

"Ah, she said I didn't belong here. That I wasn't supposed to be here." Ete said, not the slightest bit set off by it. Legolas seemed quite alarmed.

"Why did she say that?"

"Because I don't. Merut and I are from this place called Earth. We were playing in a stream and we got transported here through a riverbed. You see, your story is a piece of fiction in our world and we know all about you. We know what's going to happen because we read it." Legolas stared at her. "But we like you. You've actually been made into moving pictures at home. I'm actually a human along with Merut and her super archer boy."

"Why did you tell me this?" Legolas seemed to try and make it a serious scene. Ete didn't want it like that.

"Ah, because you're cool... and cute... okay, dead sexy, but it doesn't matter. I know that in the greater part of a year, I'm going to wake up and find myself in the riverbed after going on this adventure and life will go on. Now I have to pry Merut off of the SAB." Ete stood up.

"Ete." Legolas said, standing up and kissing Ete.

"How'd I get into this?" She thought. It wasn't the worst of situations she could be in. She made the most of it and turned her first kiss into the best she could... with the sexy elven prince of Mirkwood!

When they... Erm... parted, Ete stumbled back, giggling hysterically, to Merut, decided against it and just sat down and chatted with Pippin.