A/N: Bon jour, mes amis. I realized that I NEEDED TO POST ANOTHER CHAPTER! Life screwed up and I was distracted, so bear with me, please. As with any story, it will have to delve into sadness for a little while only to return to the light a little while later. After about a year of writing, the first movie is almost DONE! I can't believe it. Strange things happen in this chapter. smiles satanically to Maruit
DISCLAIMER: The world is ending, but I can deal with that. My point? Anarchy! No laws! Everything belongs to everyone else! Okay, so I lie. It belongs to Tolkien, but all the horrible actions I do to Ete and Merut are of my creation and... let's saaaaaaaayyyy... divine inspiration. Now read and review already!
The next day, everyone set out for Anduin. Merut left the SAB in Lorien, only after much hassling from Ete.
Ete and Merut had a conversation in the boat.
"Merut?"
"Yes, E.T.?"
"I have a question."
"What?"
Ete instantly turned into the devil, turning on Merut. "HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT SUPER ARCHER BOY WAS IN MORIA?"
Merut held her calm... for once.
"You see, my dear extra terrestrial, I have this complicated theory, a parallel world theory, if you must know. I figure that if I lived in Middle-earth, then I would live in Lorien, you in Mirkwood, Missy in Mordor (because she is Sauron herself) and SAB in Moria."
"Why would he live in Moria?" Ete asked, sighing and rowing her boat.
"Plenty of targets!" Merut said, cheerfully.
"Abby!" Ete said, sighing and continuing to row her boat.
Hours passed in silence on the waters.
Hours... and hours... andhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhoursandhours.
Ete couldn't stand it.
"That's it! Everyone, I'm teaching you an old song from the days of yore!"
"What would that be?" Gimli asked.
"ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT! GENTLY DOWN THE STREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM! MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, LIFE IS BUT A DREEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAMMMM! Everyone now, in a round! ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT-."
"ROW, ROW, ROW YOUR BOAT-." Merut chimed in.
"GENTLY DOWN THE STREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAMMM!"
"GENTLY DOWN THE STREEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAMMM!"
"MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY,"
"MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY, MERRILY,"
"LIFE IS BUT A DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMM!"
"LIFE IS BUT A DREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAMM!"
The hobbits hid. Gimli rolled his eyes. Legolas laughed. Aragorn pretended not to notice. Boromir rowed up next to Merut and hit her on the head.
"HEY!" Merut said, jumping out of the boat and going to beat on Boromir. She jumped on him, causing the boat to shake and the hobbits to hold on for dear life now that their pilot was being assaulted. Merut straddled Boromir and held the collar of his shirt tightly in her fist, pulling her arm back to punch.
"Quit your incessant droning!" Boromir yelled, almost dropping the paddle.
"Don't insult me!" Merut spat back.
"Don't offend my ears!" Boromir retorted.
"You offend my eyes!"
"I hate you!"
"I hate you more!"
"You're gorgeous!"
"You're- What?" Merut became extremely puzzled. She was even more puzzled, outright confused when she found Boromir kissing her.
Ete's face resembled something along the lines of O.O
"MERUT!" Ete said, hiding her face. "Where is your sense of decency?" Merut broke everything off.
"What the hell is your problem!" Merut said, flustered and pissed off.
"Sorry!" Boromir said, trying to make up for the atrocious crime he committed.
"Sorry's not going to cut it!" Merut said, standing up. The hobbits again feared for their lives. "What if your obsession with the ring is contagious?"
Before anyone could say anymore, Merut was back on the boat, paddling fast, moving the boat away from Boromir without Ete's help.
Everyone had a comment. It was all the same comment.
"It's the end of the world. Forget the ring. When Boromir kisses Merut, we're all going to die."
When it was quiet, Ete spoke it Merut.
"Maybe we shouldn't sing 'Row, Row, Row Your Boat' anymore."
Moments later, one could hear Ete singing under her breath...
"99 bottles of beer on the wall..."