A/N: Sorry I kept you hanging, I couldn't help myself. I still like reviews, thanks for all of them...

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Chapter 11 – In Dreams

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Peter was surprised at his own reaction when his snow owl dropped the letter in his lap that Saturday night. Maybe he had imagined that he had been forgotten. It had been quite a while since he last heard from the man. Peter had actually been hoping he had been forgotten.

He hurried up to the dorm to avoid curious eyes, but when he opened the letter he found he'd had no reason to hide;

Hogsmede, midnight.

It was not signed. Peter put it down on his nightstand, and the letter burst into flames, the ashes flying out of the open window.

'What can he possibly want now?' Peter thought, heading back down to the common room. It was eleven o'clock, and he hoped it would empty out by midnight. 'He hasn't requested anything of me in ages.'

He found James and the others in front of the fire, James looking a little off.

"What's wrong?" Peter asked. James didn't reply.

"Lily," Sirius said. "She… she fell down the stairs. She's unconscious."

Peter gasped. "Will she be OK?"

"We don't know," Sirius sighed. "Lucky Prongs was there so he could"

He was interrupted by James getting up.

"I'm going to bed," he said shortly. "Good night."

"He's taking it hard," Peter pointed out when James was out of earshot.

"No surprises there," Sirius muttered. "I'd better go and talk to him."

"Prongs?" Sirius looked into the dorm. The drapes on James' bed were shut.

"Prongs, I know you're awake," Sirius said, moving closer. No reply.

"Listen, I know you're worried about Lily," Sirius started. "But I'm sure she'll be fine." 

Still no reply.

"Fine," Sirius shrugged. "Good night, Prongs."

*

It wasn't a very cold night, but Peter still shivered as he stood under the tree waiting. Suddenly, the man appeared in front of him.

"My lord," Peter said, bowing.

"Peter," the man smiled. "It's been a while."

"It has," Peter agreed. "What is it you need?"

"I thought I told you to keep an eye on Potter," the man said.

"And I have, my lord," Peter told him.

"Clearly not good enough," the man said. "The mudblood. She is pregnant."

"Lily?" Peter asked, amazed. "What… How do you know?"

"I have my sources," the man said.

"Well, I assure you it's not by James," Peter said. "They're not together. I follow him everywhere I can, I've never seen them together. And the way he acts… they can't be."

"Are you sure about this?" the man asked.

"Positive," Peter nodded eagerly.  "If Lily's pregnant, then it's by someone else, not James."

"Then I have nothing to worry about yet," the man said thoughtfully. "Continue to keep an eye on him, Peter. A close one."

He disappeared with a 'pop'.

*

"Severus."

He looked up from his homework.

"Yes, Lucius?"

"I want a word," Lucius said quietly, pulling up a chair.

"No, there is still nothing going on between me and Evans," Severus said automatically. "So you still don't have to worry about me smudging the precious Slytherin name."

"That's not what I wanted to talk about," Lucius said, leaning closer. "I supposed you've heard about him."

"Who?" Severus asked, not the least bit interested.

"Oh come on, you know who I mean," Lucius said quietly.

"No, I really don't," Severus said, still bent over his homework.

"How can you not?" Lucius said, sounding genuinely surprised. "With your uncle being a Death Eater and all."

"A what?" Severus asked, suddenly interested.

"A Death Eater," Lucius repeated. "You know, one of Lord Voldemort's supporters."

"Who?" Severus asked, completely bewildered.

"Honestly, don't you talk in your family?" Lucius hissed. "Lord Voldemort. The one behind the attack on that muggle-loving auror at Christmas."

Severus froze. So that was what his uncle had meant. Lucius noticed the change in his face.

"I thought you knew," he smirked. "You should join him too, Severus"

"No thank you," Severus said quickly, gathering up his books.

"You've got talent, Severus," Lucius said. "He wants you to join."

"He'll be disappointed then," Severus said, getting up.

"Don't ruin your only chance of making something of yourself," Lucius called after him. "Especially not for a mudblood."

The hex hit Lucius before he had time to think, and he flew back against the wall. Severus stuck his wand back in his robes.

"I warned you," he said indifferently, heading for the dorms.

*

When Lily woke, she found herself in a bed. Sunlight was shining through the window.

"Lily, thank God." Pomfrey was leaning over her.

"Where am I?" Lily asked, trying to sit up.

"In the hospital wing," Pomfrey said. "And lie down, you need rest."

"What happened," Lily muttered, rubbing her aching arm.

"You fell down the stairs," Pomfrey said. "You've been out since yesterday afternoon."

"I remember," Lily muttered. "I forgot about the fake step. I was mad at James, and I was hurrying."

Suddenly she sat up in bed.

"The baby," she said, looking up at Pomfrey.

"Lie down, Lily," Pomfrey ordered. "You need rest."

"The baby," Lily repeated firmly.

"I'm sorry," Pomfrey sighed.

"It's gone?" Lily asked, and the nurse nodded.

Lily lay back in bed.

"You weren't that far along," Pomfrey explained. "And it doesn't take much this early on. I'm so sorry, Lily."

Lily turned over.

"Shall I leave you alone for a bit?" Pomfrey offered, and Lily nodded.

"I don't want to see anyone," she whispered.

Pomfrey retreated quietly.

"She'll be fine, Minerva," she assured McGonagall.

"That's a relief," she sighed. "It looked bad for a while."

"It did," Pomfrey agreed.

"Was she really pregnant?" McGonagall asked, and Pomfrey startled.

"How did you know?"

"I heard her just now," McGongall said. "It is true?"

"I'm afraid so," Pomfrey sighed.

"Poor girl," McGongall said. "Should I talk to her, Poppy?"

"No," Pomfrey said. "She'll think I told you. That I betrayed her trust. She'll need someone to trust now."

McGonagall only nodded.

"Have you heard from Madam Nitgale?" she asked instead, changing the subject. Pomfrey shook her head.

"Not a word. But something funny happened yesterday. I was off to tell the Headmaster about it when James came about Lily."

"Is something wrong?" McGonagall asked.

"Yes, in a way," Pomfrey nodded. "Someone's been into our files. I can't imagine how, the cabinet is sealed by magic. Only me and Kirsten (Nitgale) can open them."

"Do you think she's been here?" McGonagall asked.

"I don't know," Pomfrey said. "It must have been her. But it's all so strange. Why didn't she let me know she was back? She must know we are worried about her."

"I will tell Albus," McGonagall said. "Did she take anything with her?"

"No," Pomfrey said. "And by the looks of it, she only read one file."

"Which one?" McGonagall asked.

"Lily's."

*

"She's over there," Pomfrey said, not looking the least bit surprised to see him.

"Thanks," he muttered, hurrying over to the ward Pomfrey had pointed to.

She looked pale against the white sheets on the bed. Her red hair was spread out across the pillow. She looked up when he entered, and tried to smile.

"How are you feeling," he asked carefully.

"Empty," she said hoarsely. "It's gone, Severus. The baby…"

"I know," he nodded. He sat down on the bed, and Lily hoisted herself up.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"For what?" he asked.

"The baby," she started, and he shook his head.

"It's not your fault, you know that."

He found her hand under the covers, and pressed it.

"It is my fault," she said quietly. "I didn't want it. That's why this happened."

"That's not true, and you know it," he said.

She started crying, and he pulled her close to him.

"Strange, isn't it?" she sobbed. "I didn't want it, and here I am, crying because I lost it."

He was going to say something when the door creaked open. They both froze.

"Mr. Potter, what are you doing here?" Pomfrey's voice asked.

"He can't find me," Severus whispered, but Lily hushed him.

"I wanted to see how Lily was doing," James' voice replied.

"She's resting," Pomfrey told him. "She's going to be fine. Why don't you come by in the morning."

"OK," James said. "Will you tell her I was here, and everybody sends their best wishes?"

"I will," Pomfrey assured him.

Severus didn't dare breathe until he heard the door close again.

"Pomfrey knows," Lily whispered.

"I guessed," he nodded. "It's late, I've gotta get back." He kissed her forehead. "I'll come by tomorrow… I love you."

She smiled, more genuinely this time. "I love you too."

*

James did not head back to Gryffindor tower. Instead, he threw on the cloak, and hunched behind a suit of armour in the hallway. It didn't take long for the door to creak open again. He peered out from behind the armour, just in time to see Snape emerge from the hospital wing. He looked quickly around before he hurried down another corridor. James sat back against the wall.

"I knew it," he muttered to himself.

*

"There's someone to see you," Pomfrey said. "Shall I send him in."

"Sure," Lily nodded, hoping it would be Severus. She was more than a little disappointed when James walked in.

"You're awake," he smiled. "That's good, we were worried. How are you feeling?"

"Beaten," Lily replied shortly.

James moved awkwardly. "Listen, I'm sorry," he started.

"Don't be," Lily interrupted. "It was my own fault."

"Lily, I"

"James, I'm kind of tired," she sighed. "I don't really want to see anyone."

"You had time for Snape last night," he pointed out before he could stop himself.

"Not this again," Lily moaned. "Just leave, James."

"Lily?"

She had already turned over.

"Fine," he sighed. "I'll see you later."

*

Lily stayed in the hospital wing for a week. James didn't come back, but the other guys came. She pretended to be tired when they were there, hoping they would leave sooner. She didn't want to see anyone. Except Severus. He came at night, often after bedtime, and stayed as long as Pomfrey let him.

"I think I can discharge you tomorrow," Pomfrey said on Friday.

"Really?" Lily tried to sound genuinely enthusiastic, but Pomfrey saw through her.

"Lily, I'm still here if you want to talk," she said softly. "I can understand you're hurting. You've been through a big trauma, it's perfectly natural to feel"

"I'm fine," Lily said interrupted.

"Well, I'm still here," Pomfrey said. "Anytime."

"Thanks," Lily muttered. "You won't tell anyone, will you? My parents?"

"About the baby?" Pomfrey shook her head. "Don't worry about that. Try to get some sleep now, and you can go in the morning. Good night."

"Night," Lily muttered.

She turned over, and after about an hour of tossing and turning, she finally fell asleep.

*

She found herself in a bedroom. A nursery, she decided. A woman was standing in a corner, next to a blue crib. She was cradling a bundle of blankets, whispering to them.

"There there, it will be all right. Don't cry sweetie."

But the baby in the blankets didn't seem to want to listen, it only cried louder.

Suddenly Lily became aware of the terrible racket from outside the door. It sounded like someone was downstairs, tearing down the house. The woman hugged the baby, crying.

"Please," she whispered. "Please, someone help."

Suddenly a loud scream rose above the noise downstairs. It had to be the scream of a man. The woman froze.

"No," she whispered. "No, please. Please don't let it be James."

A second later the door was blasted open, and a cloaked and hooded figure stood in the doorway.

"Get away from me," the woman cried, her voice trembling.

"I will," the man said. "If you give me your child."

The woman held the bundle closer.

"No, please," she whispered. "Not Harry. Kill me instead."

"It will make no difference to me if I have to kill you both," the man said. "Step aside, you silly girl. Save your own life."

"No!" the woman cried.

"Then you leave me no choice," the man said, raising his wand.

There was a blinding, green flash, and Lily woke with a start.

It took her a second to realize that she was back in the hospital wing. The dream, it had been so vivid. And that woman.

'She looked just like me, only older.' Lily thought. She wondered where the dream had come from.

'The baby,' she decided. She had dreamt about herself, with a child, being killed. It was because of the abortion. But the dream had seemed so real.

"I just need to go back to sleep," she muttered. "It was just a nightmare, I'll have forgotten it by tomorrow."

*

The Saturday Lily was discharged, most of the students were in Hogsmede. She was certain James and the boys were there too, but she still decided against going to the Gryffindor common room. Instead, she headed for the office. Maybe Severus would be there.

She found the office empty, but decided to stay. She had sent him an owl telling him to meet her there later. She lit the fire and lay back on the couch. It didn't take long before she fell asleep.

She was awakened by something wet on her cheek. She opened her eyes, and found that a tiny ginger kitten was sitting on top of her, licking her face.

"Hello there," she said, sitting up, and scratching the kitten's ear. It purred happily.

"And who might you be?" Lily asked.

"Herkules," a voice said. For a second Lily just started at the kitten, wondering just how hard she had hit her head.

"The cat did not just talk," she muttered. "Cats don't talk."

"Don't we?" the voice said, and Lily startled. Then she realized she knew that voice.

"Severus?" she said carefully, and his head popped up from behind the couch.

"About time you woke up, sleeping beauty," he smiled, kissing her. "He's been crawling around on you for five minutes."

Hercules was rubbing himself against Lily's arm.

"Who's is he?" she asked.

"Yours," Severus said. "I got him for you today. I figured you might need some cheering up."

Lily didn't know what to say; she just kept staring at Hercules.

"Don't you like him?" Severus asked anxiously.

"I love him," she said, leaning up to kiss him. "Thank you." 

But at that point Hercules decided he wasn't getting enough attention, and sunk his little teeth into Lily's finger.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Lily teased, "did we forget about you for a split second?"

The kitten meowed, and curled up on her lap.

"I see I have competition for your attention," Severus smiled, scratching Hercules' ear.

"Won't people figure out who gave him to me, though?" Lily asked.

"I don't think anyone saw me with him," Severus shrugged. "Though I did have a hard time explaining to Avery why my cloak was squealing."

For the first time that week, Lily laughed.

*

"A-a cat?" Peter stared at Hercules with an expression very much like panic.

"Yes," Lily said, ignoring his tone. "Isn't he adorable?"

"Very," Peter said, though he still looked frightened. He reached out a hand to pat Herkules, but the kitten hissed angrily at him.

"Knows his rats, that one," Sirius muttered to Remus.

"Who gave him to you?" James asked.

"My parents," Lily snapped. "Why?"

"Just wondered," James muttered.

Sirius shot him a quick, confused look, but James pretended not to see it.

*

"Wanna tell me what that was all about?" Sirius asked James later that night.

"What?" James said.

"You, Lily. She sounded about ready to bite your head off," Sirius pointed out.

"Yeah, well she's got reason to," James sighed. "It was kinda my fault, her falling. I said some things, and she got mad at me."

"It's been a week," Sirius said. "Lily's hardly the person to hold a grudge, so something else is clearly wrong."

"Clearly," James muttered.

"What did you two talk about?" Sirius asked.

"Nothing," James said shortly.

"She can't hate you for nothing," Sirius said. "You never used to keep secrets from me, Prongs. Why are you starting now?"

"Because you're turning into a prying twit!" James snapped. "Will you just give the Lily thing a bloody rest?!"

He closed the drapes around his bed, leaving Sirius staring blankly at them.

"Idiot," he muttered.

***

OK, notes;

Phoenix Firefly; I've actually never seen Sliding Doors, so that was pure coincidence :)

madam-pyro: I know, me too... but alas

the Desert Fox: Is this going to remain a LP/SS or will it become a LP/JP fic? This part is a Severus/Lily fic, but part two will (inevetably) be Lily/James in the end :(

Thanks a million for all the reviews!