THE TEACHINGS OF DOÑA DARIA

by Galen Hardesty

Part 3

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As Daria approached the campsite along her marked trail, she stopped every so often and listened for any sounds that might indicate the presence of the missing mad Morgendorffers. Helen's curses had faded out a while back, and all she heard now was the rustle of a breeze through the trees, the buzzing of insects, and an occasional far-off caw of a crow.

Unless you counted her increasingly distressed-sounding wheezing, she thought. She leaned against a pine trunk and tried to catch her breath. She felt like she'd walked five miles today, and it wasn't even ten o'clock yet. This was definitely a day that should have started out with a hearty breakfast. Unfortunately, no such breakfast had been available to her. And, hungry as she was, she was glad she'd turned town what she had been offered.

The growing number of ants on her hand and trying to crawl up her sleeve made her shove off from the pine tree. Why were pine trees so much more popular with ants than other trees? Were they trying to immortalize themselves in amber? Did she actually care? That last one was a definite noper, she thought, trying to shake the ants out of her sleeve. Where was the campsite? Surely she should have been there by now.

Daria looked around her. The forest looked totally unfamiliar in every direction. Every direction but one, that is. Looking down her back trail, she could remember walking that way less than an hour ago. But the same trail was completely unrecognizable when she turned and looked in the opposite direction. That was scary.

Not many steps farther on, she sighted the hanging broken branch that was her next trail marker. Now she knew where she was. The campsite was not much further. She felt a little bit lighter as she trudged on.

Finally spotting the two tents in the little clearing felt a little bit like coming home. Not that there were many comforts here. No shower, no toilet, no running water, just a ring of stones to build a fire in and three sections of log to sit on. But from here, she knew the way to Helen and the way to the car, and she had a vague idea where the other two might be.

As she stepped into the clearing, Daria thought how nice it would be to lie down on her sleeping bag and just go limp for a little while. Then the covey of quail exploded at her feet.

As Daria's heartbeats died down to the point where she could hear other sounds again, she picked herself up out of the weeds, brushed away a couple of things that were crawling up her thighs, and staggered over to a log. What the hell were quail doing in the campsite?

She sat in a shady spot on one of the logs, and her logical side observed, "Same thing they always do. Hunting for seeds in fields and clearings. They don't know you think this is a campsite."

Well, she couldn't argue with that. She looked at the grass and wondered how its seed would taste. Taking a drink of water, she was reminded again of how hungry she was. If she ever got dragged out into the wild again, she'd be sure to carry some sort of emergency rations at all times. A few breakfast bars would really go well right now. She looked around. There should be some food around here somewhere. Jake's fantasies of living off the land to the contrary, they had packed food, and they hadn't eaten all of it for dinner last night.

She got up, walked over to her parents' tent, and unzipped the door flap. Inside, she spotted a familiar looking bag in a corner. She crawled over and peered inside. All right, canned goods. Rummaging through enough food to last much longer than they could stay, but which needed to be cooked, she came up with a can of chili. Good enough.

Closing up the tent, Daria sat back down, got out her knife, deployed the can opener, and soon had the chili opened. She wondered where she might find a spoon, then decided not to bother. She opened the main knife blade and studied it closely. Surely germs can't get a good grip on polished stainless steel, she reasoned, and anyway, there was nothing on that blade for them to eat... yet. She wiped what hapless germs there might be off on her skirt and dug in.

...And as the apex predator settles down to her kill, the lesser creatures of the deep forest timidly resume their lives, safe once more... until next time. Daria smirked a little. It was good to be the apex predator. She took another bladeful of her prey.

Daria had reduced the chili level in the can to below half, and was feeling proud of herself for not cutting her lips or tongue when the yellowjacket arrived. Appearing not to be aware of her at all, it was nevertheless definitely aware of the chili. Alarmed, she moved off a distance and continued with her meal, but in a remarkably short time, it was there again, hovering around the can of chili. It seemed to have a remarkable sense of smell.

Daria ran over by the tents and waved the can of chili in the air a few times, then went to stand by her backpack and resumed eating. She'd only gotten three bladesful when the damn thing was back. Now she was angry. She laid her knife on her backpack, waited for her moment, and knocked the thing to the ground, where it quickly fell victim to the boot of doom. Well, not that quickly, actually. She had to stomp it several times with her heel before the little monster stopped moving. Picking up her knife and resuming her meal, she marveled that a thing so heavily armored could fly.

Daria tried to eat fast now, fearing that more of the vicious little creatures would show up, but it was getting harder to reach the remaining chili with her knife. Maybe she should have spent the extra time to find a spoon. Well, maybe, she thought, but only if she'd done it before she opened the can.

Another yellowjacket appeared, and then another one, homing in on the chili as if she didn't exist. Damn them! This was her chili! She ran out of the campsite area entirely, not stopping until she was well down the trail toward where the car was parked. If it weren't nearly two miles away, and if she had the keys, she could eat inside it. Yeah. And if she had her winged horse Pegasus with her, she could round up her family from the air.

By tilting the can and working diligently, Daria had managed to get a good mouthful of chili when the yellowjackets found it again. There were three of them this time, and their buzzing sounded angrier. As she was waving her knife to keep one of them from landing on the blade, the other two landed on the can and crawled inside. And more were coming. With an inarticulate snarl, Daria heaved the can away from the campsite, as far as she could throw it. "Take it then, damn you!" she shouted after it, "I hope the ants take it away from you!"

Angry and frustrated, Daria cleaned off her knife blade, folded it, and returned it to her pocket. She'd really wanted the rest of that chili. Some apex predator she was. She headed back to the campsite for her water, and the tents immediately caught her eye. Nice modern fully enclosed tents with integral floors and bug-proof screens.

Daria smacked herself in the head. "Stupid!" she thought. "Stupid, stupid, stupid! I've got to smarten up a lot, real quick, or the Morgendorffer branch of Homo Sapiens is facing extinction. Geez!" She was glad no other apex predators had seen that.

~*~