~*~

Part Five

After fruitlessly trying to find a reachable spot on her jacket clean enough to wipe her glasses on, Daria unzipped it and used her shirttail. Even after spitting on them a couple of times, there still seemed to be a film on the lenses. The glue from the spider web, she surmised.

Daria glared at the glasses in her hand. She resented the poor eyesight they represented. If she'd had anything like normal vision, she'd probably have seen that spider web. As she thought back on Quinn's actions, it seemed more and more likely that Quinn had seen it, and maneuvered Daria into it. Not unlike Quinn, although the execution was better than her average.

Daria thought about the disadvantages of her bad eyesight. Mostly, the big gap in her peripheral vision, partly from her glasses frames, but more because of the magnification effect of her lenses. Here in the forest, she was likely to miss movement others would have seen out of the corners of their eyes. The same effect was going to be an even more serious disadvantage when she got her license and started driving. Quinn (and many others) in her situation would have stamped her foot and whined about how unfair it was. Daria saw no possible benefit from this strategy. Quinn would have moped and pined and wished for better eyesight. Daria remembered something Aunt Amy once told her that her aunt Ellie used to say- "You wish in one hand and s**t in the other, and see which one fills up first."

Daria continued toward the main trail, using her glasses to find the direction marks, then taking them off for short periods to see if something might show up in her peripheral vision.

Quinn's actions did seem to show that she was in possession of most of her mental faculties, despite the effects of the berries, whatever they were. Hallucinations, mild inebriation, fits of giggles? Something like that. Or maybe just silliness. Possibly a slight fever, too. Jake had ditched his shirt, and Quinn, come to think about it, hadn't had her vest on just now.

Not that that was too surprising. With all this hiking back and forth, Daria was pretty warm herself. She'd leave this jacket in camp if she didn't need the pockets.

As she walked along, it occurred to Daria that she was walking around three sides of a square here. The area where she'd encountered Quinn and the clearing where she'd left Helen were both about half a mile west of the main trail, and probably about half a mile from each other. She should be able to save a mile of walking by walking straight north from here to Helen.

Daria sat on a fallen tree trunk to consider this, then leaped up in alarm as a crashing noise came from the brush directly behind her. Searching frantically for the beast that had made it, she spotted a small grayish-brown lizard scurrying away through the dry leaves. Breathing hard, Daria clutched at her chest. She couldn't believe a lizard had made all that racket. It had sounded like at least a raccoon. It was the dry leaves that were doing it, she knew, but it was still startling.

Cautiously, Daria eased herself back down onto the tree trunk to catch her breath. Damn stupid camping trip. Daria hoped Jake was getting really relaxed, wherever he was. She was going to need at least a week locked in her room with a tank of nitrous oxide to recover from all this "relaxation."

Daria took a swallow of water and listened for any sound that might indicate the presence of Jake or Quinn. Helen was secure for the time being, but she couldn't be left tied up for long. There could, after all, theoretically be a bear in the area, and there was certainly plenty of other wildlife, most of which could be very annoying if it chose. Daria would want to untie her as soon as possible after the berries wore off. She got up and continued on.

After a little reflection, Daria decided not to try the shortcut. She could cross her carefully marked path leading to Helen's clearing, and possibly miss seeing any of her marks because she'd be approaching them from an unfamiliar angle. And if she missed the clearing on the west side, there were no marks. She could just go on and on and never see anything recognizable. After she checked on Helen, though, she could just head straight in this general direction, marking her way as she went, because she'd only have a vague idea where Quinn was anyway. Reaching the main trail, she turned north toward the campsite.

~*~

After refilling her water bottle at camp, Daria headed back toward the clearing to check on Helen. Her legs were starting to protest this unexpected excessive tromping around. Daria had a feeling she'd be in sad shape Monday in school.

Helen sure seemed to love Jake, she thought as she walked along. Coming out here with him on what she believed would be a relaxing, rejuvenating, stress-relieving trip, doing most of the preparations for same, working on their intimacy...

Working on Jake's intimacy was more like it. He didn't seem to have trouble with the physical side of it, but there seemed to be some things... missing from his personality. One was a sort of manly I'm-in-charge attitude. Another was a desire to relate to other people. No, that wasn't missing. She'd seen it, in clumsy, aborted attempts to talk to her or Quinn, to be a part of their lives in some ill-chosen way, in occasional longing looks. Jake had the desire, but whatever it was that was supposed to act on that desire was somehow twisted, broken. It didn't work.

Daria wondered what could have done that to him. The obvious answer, his father, was probably a major part of it, but his brother Isaac seemed pretty normal. She didn't know much about his oldest brother Abe, because he'd died in Vietnam. From bits of things she'd heard from Jake's mother Ruth, Nimrod Morgendorffer had been a hard and unyielding man, although Ruth wouldn't answer Daria's questions. Daria hoped she'd get a chance to talk to Jake's sister Naomi. Jake had an affection for Naomi that he didn't have for either of his brothers, and, as far as Daria could tell, she felt close to him too. She could probably shed some light on Jake's childhood.

Helen apparently knew Jake much better than Daria or Quinn did, which, she supposed, was the way it should be. She seemed to see those apparently missing qualities deep inside Jake, and seemed to be determined to bring them out. Well Daria wished her the best of luck, and would help if she could.

Daria was near the clearing now, and would have to slow down and proceed cautiously. If Helen saw her, she'd undoubtedly demand to be released, no matter who she might think Daria was at the time. And who knew what they would remember from this time after the berries wore off? She decided to come around to the far side of the clearing this time, because she could approach over pine needles, which were much quieter than dry leaves, and because she could observe from a more distant vantage point behind some bushes.

Daria came up to the bushes and skidded to a halt in shock. Helen was still there and still secured to the tree, but Jake was there too. But he wasn't trying to untie her, he was... oboy. Daria took cover behind the bushes again and peeked out.

Jake stepped back from Helen, affording Daria a better view. Helen's hiking shorts were nowhere to be seen. She still had her panties on... on her head, where they were apparently intended to serve as a blindfold. Jake was down to his boxers. Daria was dumbstruck.

"Untie me, you beast! Have you no shred of common decency?" Helen demanded in an outraged tone.

"Arr, me lady, I'm just after bein' perlite. What kinder host'd I be if I didn't make with the interductions, 'ey?" Jake replied in a voice that sounded like a bad Long John Silver impression. "Now the next member o' me crew is young Pete 'ere. We calls 'im Three-leg Pete, fer reasons as'll become clear to ye presently. Say 'ello ter Lady 'Elen, Pete!" Then, in a dumb-english-farmboy sort of voice, he said, "Ahoy there, m'lady. Ye be a buxom young wench, bain't ye?"

"Cutlass, you scrofulous, flea-ridden murdering pirate! My father, the Duke of Barksdale, will have your guts for garters! He'll have a tobacco pouch made from your scrotum!" Jake moved back behind Helen. "He'll... Eeee! No! Stop! It's too big! Please, stop! You'll kill me! AAAAHH!"

"What?" thought Daria. It obviously wasn't too big.

"Ahhh, indeed! Nice 'n cozy this'n is! Thankee kindly, Cap'n!" Jake said in the dumb-english-farmboy voice.

A light dawned for Daria. This must be some sort of bedroom RPG that Jake and Helen played. And judging by how well they seemed to know their lines, they must have put in a lot of practice. She ducked back behind the bushes, where she could no longer see what was happening in the little clearing.

"Lord, strike me blind and deaf. Five minutes ago. Temporarily that is," she thought.

She heard, over the soft, rhythmic smacking sounds, Jake say in his Captain Cutlass voice, "Yer welcome, young Pete. Go easy though, an' don't wear 'er out too bad. There's others waitin' ter be interduced."

Daria stuck her fingers in her ears and gritted her teeth. This was awful. But at least, Helen and Jake seemed to be all right for the moment, and they would probably stay here for a while, about as long as the pirate crew's stamina held out. Now would be an excellent time for her to look for Quinn again. Daria quietly headed back down the trail, fingers partly blocking out Helen's theatrical shrieks and Jake's pseudo-piratical commentary.

~*~